Ok, so this is my first Rurouni Kenshin fic by the way. So if the characters are kind of 'out of character like' ... sorry! Anyways after this I'll try at other short humor fics. Uh, well I've never read the manga but I'm sure it's pretty different than the anime, like Fruits Basket. (Incase anyone watched the show, the manga is way better) also, I've only watched like 30 episodes so maybe I don't know some characters and what not. But this fic will be starring, Sanosuke♥ he's hott♥ and Tsubame ♥so kawaii♥ and well, Kenshin, Kaoru and Yahiko of course!
Disclaimer: If I didn't even watch the full show, what makes you think I own the anime/manga?
♥
R. U. R. O. U. N. I. K. E. N. S. H. I. N.
♥
It was a clear bright crystal like day. The sky was sapphire blue, a nice breeze swayed distant trees, the sun was shinning, the grass smelled green ... everything was perfect for the picnic Kaoru planned today. She, Kenshin, Sanosuke, Tsubame and yes, even the 'annoying brat' as she saw him, were all coming along.
But Tsubame had been complaining of a stomatch ache, which made Kaoru worry a bit. "Tsubame-chan are you sure you are alright ? we can go picnic a different day if you want to ..." The young teacher of the dojo trailed off, hoping the disappointment wasn't showing. "I'm fine its probaly something I ate. Don't worry, I want to go " Tsubame said. Not only was she complaining abot a stomach ache but everybody noticed she was acting, well a bit ... bitchy.
While in waiting for everyone to prepare, Yahiko was watching some good old fashion style black-and-white tv. "Sheesh this person is always complaining about their problems, what a stupid ego! Can't he just shut up?" Yahiko complained.
"Like you're one to talk!" Tsubame snapped angrily.
"Oro?"
Kenshin, Sano, Kaoru and Yahiko himself were shocked at the venom dripping out of her voice. Maybe ... it's just a bad day for her today. Yahiko thought hopefully, seeing as she was even scarier than Kaoru right now.
To break the eerie silence, Kenshin spoke up, nervously rubbing the back of his head. "Eh heh, well I've made some onigiri for the picnic, would you like to have one now Tsubame-chan?"
"No." She replied in an annoyed tone. Standing up she left to go freshen herself up, by splashing some cold water onto her face. As soon as she left, Sano let out the breath that he had been holding since the girl's recent explosion. "Well, that was ..."
"...Interesting." Yahiko finished for him.
Sanosuke walked into the kitchen and Kaoru greeted him. "Is it me or is Tsubame acting a little bitchy today ?" Sano whispered to Kaoru. "It's just a bad day for her, I mean I'd be the same if Akabeko had no costumers or somthing." Obviously Kaoru hadn't seemed so affected by the weird behaviour. "Tsubame-chan said she wasn't feeling good today." Kaoru added with a faint smile.
"Yeah just leave her alone, stupid." Yahiko said, mometarly eavesdropping on the conversation. But of course, he had a crush on the little girl, so he would never allow anyone to insult or hurt her, especially Rooster Head. "Shut up dammit you act like that all the time!" Yahiko yelled while sticking a fist at Sano. "I wouldn't blame her from acting that way, maybe it was your stupid voice or your stupid face that upset her!" Sano shot back.
"Shut up you stupid fart!"
"Oh yeah that's real mature ... "
"I said shut up!"
"Um please stop fighting ..." Kenshin's pleads weren't really helping.
"I'm Going to kick your ass!"
"Bring it on Rooster Head!"
Suddenly Tsubame slammed the door open. She looked pretty pissed off. "Both of you shut up!" Tsubame yelled. Everybody stared at her as she walked back to watch the black-and-white tv. Yahiko was suddenly afraid of her. "They don't know when to stop." she said annoyed as hell, and it showed on her face.
I really need some chocolate. Tsubame's stomach whined.
"Told you she was acting weird." Sano stated. Everybody knew she was acting strange but everybody thought the same thing, maybe it was just a bad day.
Later on everybody was packed and they where all ready to leave. Before they stepped out of the door Tsubame clutched her stomach in pain. "I have to go the bathroom."
"Are you okay ?" Kaoru asked.
"I'm fine! You guys can go,I'll catch up"
"Are you sure ?"
"I said I was fine!"
"Maybe somebody should stay with you ..." The rurouni suggested with nothing but kindness.
"I said I would catch up."
In a few minutes, the four of them were off and halfway to the chosen picnic site.
"I should have stayed with her " Yahiko said aloud, angry at himself for leaving her alone while she had a stomatch ache. He could never forgive himself if something were to happen to her.
"No way." Sano replied to Yahiko's thoughts.
"And why not ?" The boy snapped.
"We all know you like her and who knows what you will do to her while you guys are alone." Yahiko turned red and argued. "I wouldn't do anything to her, Rooster head, your probaly thinking wrong!"
"What ? Why you little--"
"Speaking of which, Sano what time is it ?" Kenshin asked.
"It's um...oops I left it at home" Sano frowned angrily.
"Good one smartass" Yahiko smirked.
"Shut up I was to busy looking at your ugly face I forgot !" Sanosuke yelled.
"You're just jealous that you're even uglier"
"Shut up! I'm going back to get it!"
"Can you please bring Tsubame while you're at it ?" Kaoru asked, starting to get a teensy bit annoyed at the long period of time Tsubame was taking.
The former fighter-for-hire just shrugged. "Whatever."
When he got there he found his watch and yelled for the girl. "Are you still here?"
"Yes ..."
He heard a voice from the bathroom. "Well hurry up, they sent me here to get you." He was getting slighltly impateint.
"I'll be out in a minute ..." So Sanosuke sat on the couch and waited there for about 10 minutes and she finally came out. "Finally, Now let's go"
"I can't." Tsubame blushed lighly.
"Why not ,we got to go!"
"Well ... um ..."
"Well um what ?" The fighter saw Tsubame grab a piece of paper and a pen, she wrote something down and gave it to him. She turned red while Sano opened it.
Out of sheer bordum, Sanosuke read it out loud, his face casual. "I just got my first period ... oh ... Wait! What!" Sano turned crimson red and looked at her. "Well what do you want me to do about it ?"
"Well, um, I don't have a pad ..." Tsubame said slowly.
"Like I have one! Come on Look for one in Kaoru's bathroom!" Sano was so red, he looked like a tomato and so did Tsubame. He waited until she came out. "Well let's go then!" Sano said, not looking at Tsubame. "Um, I don't know how to put it on ..." Sano turned even redder. I am so glad I am not a girl! He thought in his mind.
"And um, it dosen't look excactly like I thought it would ..." Tsuabme whispered to Sano, even though no one was home. "What do you mean?" Sano looked away in embarrassment. "Well um, look ... " Sanosuke slowly turned around and saw what Tsubame was holding.
"Thats not a pad, that's a tampon!" Sano yelled, humiliated.
"I thought it looked weird ..."
"Weird or not it's a tampon!"
"Well this is all I could find in there."
Sano could never look at Kaoru the same way again. Who would've thought. Sanosuke thought in his mind.
"My stomach is starting to hurt really bad, Sanosuke-san ... we should go the store!" Tsubame said, holding her stomach.
Sano never turned so red in his life. "Well just how do you expect to go there ... with your ... uh ... um ... eh, con-con-condi-condition!" He finally blurted out.
Tsubame embarrassedly looked at the floor. "Um ... I could ... use ... to-toliet pa-pap-paper ... I saw it in a--"
"Too much info!" Sano turned and walked away. "Let's go."
The walk to the local pharmacy store was eerily quiet. Both were too red to speak or even look at one another. As soon as they entered the store, Sano found the zippper on the jacket he was wearing really interesting as Tsubame walked into the ladie's asile.
After this, I'm never coming here again! Sano thought as he saw a couple of cute girls giggling and heading his way. Wow, talk about hot!
"Hi."
"Hello." The two girls shyly walked up to the more than happy Sano.
"Hey, I'm Sano--"
"Sanosuke-san! I need help ..." Tsubame called from the dreaded asile 6.
"What!" Sano tried to run, but tripped over a random item.
The girls laughed.
To make his situation worse, I genuainly confused Tsubame walked up to the more than embarrassed boy. Sano nearly fainted when he saw to different brand pads in her hands. "I-I don't know ... which one to-to pick, Sanosuke-san."
The two friends burst into a fit a hysterical laughter.
Why me! You could litteraly see the tears dripping out of his eyelids.
"How should I know what kind! Do I look like a girl to you!"
"Bu-but, I-I don't know if I sohuld pick Always or Playtex ..." Sano looked away as she talked.
"Who cares?"
"I need to know."
"Take one and let's go!"
"But, what if I pick the wrong one?"
"They're both good!" He couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth. "Now let's go!"
Tsubame picked a random brand, Sano threw the man a $20.00 and ran before he could recive his change. That was how much he wanted to leave and never come back.
They went home to find Kenshin, Kaoru and Yahiko waiting in the living room. "Where were you guys ?" Kaoru asked, annoyed. "And you said I would do something ..." Yahiko said mad. "Tsubame had a bit of ... a problem." Sano said while Tsubame ran to the bathroom. "Kaoru come here." Kaoru got up and went to Sanosuke. Sano whispered something in her ear.
"Oh my!" Kaoru said turning red as Sano. "I'll be right back!" She ran to the bathroom that Tsubame went in.
"What was that all about ?" Kenshin asked, confused. "Well today Tsubame turned into a woman, sadly I was there to go through it with her." Sano said, taking a seat on the dojo floor. "Oh." Kenshin turned red.
"Hey, what's going on?" Yahiko asked, feeling left out. Sano and Kenshin looked at him with wearly looks. "You'll understand when you're older."
"No fair!"
♥
R. U. R. O. U. N. I. K. E. N. S. H. I. N.
♥
Well what do you think? Please read and then review! I might make other humor Rurouni Kenshin fics, but right now I'm into Bleach and Fruits Basket (of course) and Naruto is ok.
Anyways, back on topic, please give me your feed-back!
Sorry for the spelling errors, my bad!