Disclaimer: uh….still don't own LoTR
A/n: this is just a funny oneshot that I thought of with my brother, and yes I know I changed things. Its supposed to be that way.
"Talking"
'Thinking'
Immortal Wisdom
In the council of Lord Elrond, a young elf sat restlessly. After he had told his piece about Gollum he had nothing more to do. So, as Bilbo told his tale of the ring, Legolas tugged on his sleeve, oblivious and growing more frustrated. When Boromir stood up to talk about a dream, Legolas's mind wandered to a golden wood where a familiar face waited. Legolas and the other elves present suddenly felt the doom as Gandalf abruptly stood, shouting in the Black Speech. Legolas winced as the words grated upon his elven conscience.
'I really should have paid attention.' The elven prince thought as the Gondorian man recovered his courage and spoke of gifting the ring to Gondor.
"You cannot wield this ring. None of us can. The one ring answers to Sauron alone. It has no other master." One of the other men stated with authority. Boromir turned to the man, taking in his attire.
"And what would a ranger know of this matter." He sneered. Angry, Legolas stood also.
"He is no mere ranger. He is Aragorn son of Arathorn. You owe him your allegiance."
"Havo dad, Legolas." The man said waving a hand. Boromir looked from the ranger to the Mirkwood elf and back to the ranger.
"Aragorn?" he asked bewildered. "Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king." The man said glaring at Aragorn. Turning his back to Legolas, Boromir moved to sit down. Irritated, the prince of Mirkwood, in all his immortal wisdom, stuck his tongue out at the retreating mortal's back.
"Legolas!" the sharp call from Elrond causing the elf prince to retract his tongue.
"Yes Lord Elrond?" he asked innocently.
"Watch your tongue." The lord of Imladris scolded.
"Always hir nin." Legolas responded as the ranger, Aragorn, rolled his eyes. Legolas sent a glare at him before returning to his thoughts.
A while later Aragorn swore to protect the hobbit as he carried the One Ring to Mount Doom. Swiftly Legolas offered his bow to the Quest.
'Legolas…are you sure of this?' Aragorn whispered in Elvish. In response the wood elf glared and stuck his tongue and the Dunadain.
"Legolas!" a harsh voice sounded.
"Yes Lord Elrond?" Legolas asked contritely.
"What did I tell you?" The great elven lord asked with a weary breath.
"Watch myself. Never fear hir nin, I shall act with dignity accordingly to my age." Legolas answered back.
Weeks later the company sat outside the Gates of Moria, waiting for Gandalf to recall the words of entrance. "My cousin Balin will give us a royal welcome." The dwarf, Gimli boasted proudly as the Fellowship waited expectedly for the Doors to open. What the response was Legolas didn't hear as by this time he had retreated into his mind, thoughts centered on a certain blonde elf. Legolas walked by the lake, lost in his memories as he didn't notice Aragorn following him.
"What has captured your thoughts Legolas?" Aragorn asked. Startled, the wood elf turned to find the ranger standing a foot from him.
"Nothing." He replied. 'Just someone.' He thought silently.
The ranger stared hard at the elf's face not quite believing him when he heard Pippin throwing stones in the lake. Aragorn turned to face the hobbit, "Do not disturb the waters." He admonished sternly. With the ranger's attention elsewhere the immortal prince in all the ageless wisdom, stuck his tongue out at the ranger, in a fit of anger.
"Legolas!" a harsh voice yelled.
Aragorn looked from the elf, who still had his tongue out, to the wizard.
"Yes Master Gandalf?" Legolas asked innocently.
"Watch your tongue." The wizard commanded.
"Of course Master Gandalf." The elf answered.
"A riddle!" the hobbit, Frodo, called out suddenly. The Grey Wanderer turned his attention to the ring-bearer. "Gandalf, what is the elvish word for 'friend'?"
"Mellon." The wizard said.
There was a loud shuddering and the gates opened. As the Istari turned to enter, Legolas decided to exact his revenge. Using the wisdom gained from living hundreds of years, Legolas stuck his tongue out at Gandalf the Great.
"Legolas!"
"Yes Master Gandalf?"
"What did I tell you?" the wizard said with a sigh.
"Watch myself. Never fear I shall keep myself accordingly and act with the wisdom of my years."
Less than a week later and the Company stood before the Lord and Lady of the Golden Wood, one member short.
"Lady Galadriel Gandalf has fallen in Moria. He fell to the beast of shadow and fire. A Balrog." Aragorn said.
Beside the man Legolas was standing restlessly. The wood elf prince was bored and much saddened by Gandalf's passing. Aragorn noticed his elf companion's agitation and elbowed the elf prince in the ribs. Legolas glared his frustrations at the ranger but was ignored as Aragorn listened to the Lady of the Wood.
Legolas could not help himself as he showed the grace of the elves while sticking out his tongue at the ranger.
"Legolas!" the sudden call shocking the elf prince.
"Yes my Lady?" the wood elf politely inquired.
"Watch your tongue, Legolas." The Lady admonished.
"Of course my Lady."
Galadriel smiled and she turned to listen to Celeborn as he welcomed the Company to stay and rest in the Woods. And with all the grace acquired in his immortal years the prince exacted is revenge. He stuck his tongue out at Lady Galadriel.
"Legolas!"
"Yes my Lady?"
"What did I tell you?" the lady questioned.
"Watch myself. Never fear for I shall with all the grace of the Elves immortal wisdom I shall hold myself respectable.
Some weeks later the Three Hunters were at Helms Deep awaiting the orcs of Isengard. The king of Rohan, Théoden, stood next to Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli. Théoden was talking about tactics with Aragorn when the elf standing next to him yelped. Théoden glanced over to see the elf, Legolas, glaring at the ranger.
"Move your foot." The elf growled and Théoden saw Aragorn's foot on the elf's. Théoden chuckled to see two as old as them behaving like children. Aragorn stepped back and turned back to the king.
"Forgive him. Living in trees has confused him." The ranger said.
"There is nothing to forgive. He is an elf; the Firstborn prefer to be outside of stone."
"Still that is no excuse to…" the ranger began but was cut off by the approach of a battalion of elven archers. During the distraction Legolas took his chance and stuck his tongue out at Aragorn.
"Legolas!" a voice called out to the elven prince.
"Yes Haldir?"
"What has your Adar told you?" the Marchwarden asked.
"Watch my tongue." Legolas admitted.
Smirking in triumph, Haldir walked over to the Mirkwood prince.
"Do I need to send a message to Aran Thrandruil?"
Legolas looked up at the older blonde elf startled. "You wouldn't dare."
"Try me." The blonde elf challenged.
"You're mean." The younger blonde elf pouted.
"You're meaner." The Marchwarden shot back.
"You're meanerest." The blonde prince retorted.
"You're meanererest." the elf almost shouted back.
Then both blonde elves promptly stuck their tongues out at the other.
"Uh… Legolas what are you doing?" Aragorn asked.
"Greeting Haldir." The prince replied, before turning back to his 'greeting'.
Aragorn simply sighed in resignation at the absurdity of the two blonde elves.
"And what happened to your dignity, wisdom and grace go?" the ranger questioned out loud.
"Most likely he left them where Haldir left his." Gimli answered back.
The End
SMK: Well, please tell me your thoughts.