-1Larry walked around in Brown Hill Zone, which was Green Hill Zone's less popular and less attractive cousin. "Ah man" the soldier groaned "the Chaos emeralds could be anywhere!" He looked down and found one right next to his foot. Larry said "kickass" and picked it up.

CHAOS GET!

"Hmm, with this emerald, I can use it to wrap to the other emeralds!" Larry thought. He held the emerald up high with his left arm and shouted "CHAOS CONTROLWARPTELEPORTSTOPGOCHEESEFARTDIESOMETHINGYEAH!" In a flash he was gone.

-

The GUN soldier found himself in a strange dimension known as the bonus stage. There was a large monster nearby and it was guarding another Chaos emerald.

Larry asked the monster "can I have your emerald?"

The monster replied in the low frightening voice "if you want my Chaos emerald you must correctly answer this riddle; what walks on three legs, quacks like a dog, eats banana peels with ketchup, and speaks German and French?"

The soldier shot the monster and stole the emerald.

-

The next destination was at Another Damn Pinball Themed Zone. Larry had to get 100 rings in a pinball game to get a Chaos emerald. The problem was HE was the pinball!

"AHHHHHH!" the soldier screamed as he was tossed and turned in the giant pinball machine. But because he couldn't roll up into a ball, he wasn't much of a great pinball. His wild ride ended when he stuck between two bumpers and got rings for each second between them.

-

The next emerald was at the Chao garden as a trophy for the winner of the Chao race. Luckily, Larry had a Chao of his own, called Mr. Peanuthead.

"Go Mr. Peanuthead go!" Larry shouted at his Chao during the race. But Mr. Peanuthead was very slow and fat and crappy, so he wasn't in first place. His owner hit him with a steroid gun and Mr. Peanuthead was instantly got pumped up. He went over a billion thousand miles per hour, won the race, and went straight through a 30-feet thick steel wall.

-

Larry was on a snow board going down a mountain. At the bottom was a Chaos emerald.

"This should be easy" he smirked.

He crashed into a tree, then a rock, then a snowman made out of cement, then a car, then a house, then a guy that owned the car and house, then some frozen rings, and then he fell off a cliff. Luckily his fall was broken thanks to the Chaos emerald, which was pointy end up

-

There was an English Sonic fan walking down the street holding a Chaos emerald. He looked at Larry and noticed he was from GUN. "Hey mister" the fan spoke "can you please go kill everyone at 4Kids?"

"Err, why would you want 4Kids dead?" Larry asked.

"Why! Isn't it obvious!" the fan shouted "they horribly dubbed Sonic X, replaced the Sonic games' voice actors with their own, and practically make everything crappy!"

"Really!" a surprised Larry gasped "well then I'll go kick their ass! Only if you give me that Chaos emerald though."

The Sonic fan gave Larry the emerald, then Larry punched the fan in the face.

"Let's get things straight retard" Larry yelled "they are 4Kids, not 4Teenageswhowatchkidscartoons. All they are doing is what they are suppose to do, and if they decided to not edit all those stupid things just to make you happy, then soccer moms went get pissed and people will be out of business. So they decide to dub your favorite anime, so what? If you like your god damn anime so much, then why don't you sell your pointless anime posters and action figures, get a job, and have enough fucking money to fucking move to fucking Japan?"

And in a huff, the soldier left.

-

The last emerald was inside an abandoned fortress owned by Dr. Robotnik. Or was it Eggman? Whatever.

"Uh oh" Larry gulped "if this place is owned by that crazy fat dude then that means…"

A group of robots came, set to destroy any intruders. Larry pulled out a chain gun and fired upon the mechanical monsters. The robots exploded and cute little animals came out from them.

"Hey there wittle babies!" the soldier said in a cutesy-wutesy voice "did the mean doctor put you in those naughty robots? Well I saved you so can go frolic away now."

However, the animals weren't so innocent as they seemed when they pulled out knifes and attacked Larry.

Larry yelled "GET OFF OF ME! GET OFF OF MEEEEEE!"

He wiggle them off and the animals all fell into a lava pit and burnt to a crisp.

"Now that I have all Chaos emeralds, it's time to finish what I've started" the human said, followed by a menacing laugh.