X. Like a Mirage
"...Disappearing much like the mirage Rick compared me to a second ago."
As I exit the front doors of Degrassi, I catch Rick quickly walking past me with his head bowed. I sigh. He's had a gloomy day, and I was powerless to stop it. Still claim to be his friend, Vivian? I think to myself. I watch him cross the street and disappear around the corner left by himself. At first I stare after him, defeated that I couldn't cheer him up today, but then I notice Spinner and Jimmy across the street staring at the spot where Rick disappeared. They exchange a look and decide to turn the corner as well.
I frown. Oh no you don't. As I inhale, I can smell the sticky scent of rainwater. I glance up and notice an eerily dark blue sky. Well what do you know: our consecutive days of sunshine have finally come to an end. The forecast for this afternoon talks of severe storm weather, so I came to school prepared with my neon green and blue rain jacket with black, flowered rain boots. I pull out my neon green umbrella from my my backpack pocket. Oh, yeah: I'm ready for this weather.
"Hey, Vivian." I turn around and spot Emma. "Want to help me study for the quiz bowl?"
I smile. "Maybe tomorrow? I'm off to stop this act of bullying."
"What?" Emma squints.
"Spinner and Jimmy are pursuing Rick, and I'm going to stop them before anything serious happens. I don't like the looks they gave him after he turned the corner out of sight." I point across the street. "Wanna join?"
Emma shrugs as she follows me across the street. I hear a rumble of thunder in the distance, as if it's whispering menacingly that it's coming for Toronto. I zip up my rain jacket and hold my umbrella ready. This afternoon it can serve as a shield from the rain and a weapon against stupid upperclassmen like the ones we're following.
We turn the same corner that the boys did just a minute before and scan the area around us. There's just the wide road and the fence that blocks off the playing fields from the cars.
"I see them over there." Emma says just as I spot them as well. There's a bush up against the fence and that's where I can see the backs of Spinner and Jimmy as they surround the person, presumably Rick, unseen by Emma or me.
My heart begins to hammer in fury. Rick already had a horrible day as it is: some incident he wouldn't tell me about that happened this morning, and the confrontation with Ivory proved that. There's no way I'm going to let anyone else think they have the power or the right to bully him just because they didn't put a girl in a coma!
"This is getting so old." I groan. "Do they want Rick to find a time machine and undo the damage?"
"Maybe we should invent one together to shut everyone up." Emma smirks.
"Great idea." I say. "By the way, how is it working with him? Is he acting all Mooney around you and Heather?" I chuckle.
Emma arches an eyebrow. "Who Rick? If he has, I haven't noticed. Oh, wait!" She pauses. "Hold that thought: he has eyes for Heather. You should've seen his face while she was talking. It was like Britney Spears was on our team." She faces me. "Why do you ask?"
Because both you and Britney Spears are ranked highest on his list. He's hot for you! "Because I trust your opinion on Rick. You'll be getting to know each other a little better than before, and you did stand up for him behind The Dot all those weeks ago." Was that really a month ago? A drop of Rain lands on my nose; cool and fat. Another hits the top of my head, and I pull up the hood on my rain jacket. "I just know he's not the guy everyone stereotypes him as."
"You could say that." Emma pushes her blonde hair back. Another clap of thunder fills the air around us, a little louder than before. "He's the strongest member on the team. He answers the questions before any of us have time to process them. If anything, he's passionate about winning."
"Another reason why we need to help him." I say. "We need to make sure he feels good enough about himself to represent Degrassi on this team. He wouldn't want to do that if kids are constantly harassing them, and even if they are, we need to show that someone does care about him."
"I never thought of it like that." Emma says. "You make a good point. Come on: we're getting closer to them."
We ditch the sidewalk and cut across the lot to reach the wired fence where Spinner and Jimmy are standing. I can hear them taunting already.
"But dad, I would like it at Degrassi if these stupid guys wouldn't push me around like the little prick I am." Spinner says in an idiotic tone, wearing Rick's glasses.
"Well, son." Jimmy says in a mocking voice. "What do I always tell you? Fight back, and they'll leave you alone." He shoves Rick against the fence, who's frowning directly ahead of him. "Why don't you show this creep what I taught you?"
"Back off!" Emma shouts sharply as we approach.
Every guy turns our way. Emma and I both stand with our arms crossed.
"Really? More of this?" I say. A sharp pain stabs my leg, but I ignore it.
"Yes, more of this." Jimmy mocks me. "What are you gonna do? Defend him?"
"Very good, Kareem Abdul Jabbar." I walk closer. "What are you going to do about it? I mean, you could always push me around, but then again, what would be the purpose of messing with Rick if you did the same thing you're accusing him of doing?" I walk towards Rick and gently grab his arm. "Let's go." I mutter and walk us away from douches one and two. A loud clap of thunder erupts from the sky and rain starts to patter the pavement.
"Wait. He has my bag." He nods subtly at Jimmy.
"Mockery, Spinner?" I watch as Emma takes the glasses from Spinner. "Original, creative and witty."
I walk over to Jimmy who's flipping through the pages of one of Rick's textbooks as it becomes soaked in the rain. "Want this back? It's a long way up for you, Lil' Mama." Jimmy raises his hand high. "But feel free to try."
I moan as Emma comes over. "I'll give it a go." She grabs Jimmy's wrist and snatches the book away.
"Guys, I'm not afraid to pluck grapes." I tap my foot rapidly. "So I'd leave if I were you."
"Spoken like a true psycho girlfriend." Spinner teases.
I can feel the heat rushing to my face. "You really need to expand your vocabulary, Gavin." I say tartly.
Jimmy scoffs. "Whatever. Let's go, man." Jimmy slaps Spinner's arm, and they walk past us, bumping Rick on either side.
I whip out my umbrella, thinking of jabbing one of them with it, but reconsider and open it instead. I hold it above Rick's head. "We'll walk together." Like the couple everyone believes we are.
Rick's concentration is on his book as he flaps it a few times to get the rain drops off of it. "I think this should get dry without much damage, so I won't get fined."
"Not if Spinner and Jimmy were responsible for getting it wet." Emma joins me at the other side as she speaks to Rick. "Tell Ms. Kwan about it, and she won't punish you for it." She passes his glasses to me, and I pass them to Rick.
"It's fine, Emma." He replies quickly.
"Have you told anyone about those guys?" I say as we begin to walk in the pounding rain.
"I've spoken with Mr. Raditch, and he insists that we try and get along." Rick retorts, putting on his glasses.
"Try and get along?" I raise my voice. "They're harassing you!"
"I told him that." He replies. "He told me that it takes two to tango and dismissed me." He sighs. "There isn't much else I can do. I told the principal about this. Who else would take this more seriously than him?"
"Any of the teachers." Emma answers. "You could inform them on how serious the matter is, so Mr. Raditch can't ignore it."
Rick says nothing as we walk in the pouring rain.
"Or you could just do what Mr. Raditch said." I add gently. "Stand up for yourself, Rick. I don't care what anyone else thinks about you from last year. You've obviously changed, and even if you hadn't, does that really give people a ticket to torment you?"
Rick sighs.
"Whatever you do, Rick, don't you dare think you're alone." I lock my arm in his. "Alright?"
A smile comes to his face as he nods. These are so rare on him, which is a shame: he wears them nicely. "Thank you, Vivian."
"Anytime, Rick."
"Guys, are we splitting up?" Emma speaks above the pounding rain. "We really shouldn't be walking slow in this weather."
I flinch as a flash of lightning pierces the sky. Rick notices and takes the umbrella with one hand and my hand in his other. "It's alright." He murmurs, smiling at me through his curtain of plastered hair, a gift from the rain.
I smile back nervously. I'll have a word with Raditch myself. I think. It's astounding to wrap my mind around the fact that the principal, of all people, would deny Rick's situation to be serious. He's a good kid. I haven't seen him retaliate once against the other guys! Why is it that he can't get any help? Maybe Rick didn't appear serious enough, or disturbed enough for Raditch to notice. I would hope he cared if Rick had appeared emotionally distraught. Maybe Raditch has his hands full (when doesn't he?), or maybe he's gotten so many complaint similar to Rick's that were all exaggerated or false. I just can't accept that he went to the principal and received no help!
"Well, it looks like I'm heading back alone." Emma snaps me from my thoughts.
"Oh! Yeah, Emma, we can get together after school tomorrow if you want me to help you study."
"Sure." Emma says as a flash of lightning illuminates her face. "We can meet up at the library if you want."
"Yeah, that works." Thunder erupts yet again, and the rain comes down harder. "I don't want to hold you back in this weather! I'll see you tomorrow!"
"See ya." Emma walks briskly down the street.
I turn to Rick, who's watching Emma disappear down the street. "Do you want to come to my place until the storm blows over? I'd feel bad if you're walking home alone in this thunderstorm. You'd get soaked! My dad can take you home afterward."
"Vivian, you don't have to worry about me—"
"Rick, you're going to catch a cold if you walk straight home. There's nothing to keep your bag dry." I insist. "Don't argue! I'm happy to help you! Aren't I your friend?" Geez, what's wrong with me? I'm acting like he rejected my million dollar donation.
Rick smiles. "You're way too sweet, Vivian. I don't understand why you would waste your time with me when you have the potential of making so many friends at Degrassi."
"Why would you say a thing like that?" I flinch as lightning lights up the sky once more and thunder explodes right behind it. "Come on, Rick. Let's hurry back to the Degrassi Parking lot."
With Rick holding my umbrella, we walk side by side the short distance back to the school. I hold on to his arm as he starts to move faster. Rain splashes my legs several times as we slosh through new puddles, and I wince as another sharp pains stabs my left leg. Soon the front of the school is looming over us.
"Seriously, Rick: you're no bother at all." I say. "If anything, I owe you a favor from this past Friday. The whole thing with Jay was—"
"What happened that afternoon? I never got around to asking you." Thunder rumbles in the sky as Rick cuts in.
"Um, can I tell you when we get home? I just need all of my energy talking about it." I reply. "Just the thought of Jay and what happened makes me queasy."
"Sure." Rick says. "You did get your locket back, right?"
"Yeah." I reply. "I'll tell you about it when—"
"Wait." Rick stops walking all of a sudden. His widened gazed is fixed straight ahead.
I follow it. Spinner, Jay, and a few other people are in the parking lot conversing with each other a few feet away. I recognize a petite silhouette as Alex's.
Oh, no...Neither the blinding lightning or the thunder bothers me as I stare at the notorious gang of hooligans.
"Uh, Vivian, I'm taking a detour back to my house. You don't have to come with me, especially if there's a strong possibility that your dad is already here." Rick doesn't break his stare.
"No. I'm coming with you." I say quickly. "You're going to catch a cold without a proper jacket." And I don't want to face Jay and the gang either.
"Vivian..." Rick starts.
"Why do you try to reason with me?" I nudge him. "It won't work, you know. Now you lead the way."
Rick finally looks at me and sighs. "Sure." He turns around, and I follow him. I hook my arm in his yet again as we cross the empty street and set on for the trees. We cut through them, our feet sinking in thick mud at every step. Thank goodness for my rain boots, but I can't say the same for Rick. I remind myself that I didn't see dad's car in the parking lot. The weather probably stalled everyone.
We're mushed together as we walk through the narrow openings of the trees, and sometimes one at a time when the umbrella gets in the way.
"Sorry, Vivian, but I have to do this." Before I can stop him, Rick closes the umbrella, allowing the rain to attack my face and head.
"Ugh!" I cry. "I understand, Rick!"
"I don't want to break your umbrella." Rick adds.
"I know!" I shout above the rain.
The trees and grass all look the same to me, but I trust Rick as I follow him through the small gaps of trees despite getting snapped by branches and sprayed with rainwater. I manage to keep hold of Rick's right arm as he turns left and right multiple times. He doesn't hesitate for a second, which leads me to believe that he's taken this route many times before.
He can't even walk home without worrying about being attacked by bullies. I think a little sourly. He needs courage. Badly.
Finally, Rick stops in front of a ditch: a deep one filled with rain water and rising by the second.
"Now what?" I shout.
"We jump!" Rick raises his voice too. A flash of lightning lights up the tree trunks, and a crash of thunder immediately follows.
"That gap is nearly ten feet!" I cry. "There's no way I can get across that!"
"One: it's actually five feet, and two: I'll help you across." Rick sweeps back his soaked hair, slicked down like hair gel.
I cross my arms. "How?"
Rick adjusts his messenger bag. "By carrying you on my back of course." He hands me my umbrella.
I shake my head. "I don't know about this..."
"Vivian, I've jumped over this several times." Rick says.
"Did you have a person on your back all of those times? Extra weight?" My voice shakes. Then again, I am quite small.
"Vivian, I don't like to predict girls' weight for...obvious reasons, but you look like you're barely ninety pounds." He speaks for me.
I sigh. What do I have to lose? We're already soaked, and besides: he's right. "Alright. You have a point." Reluctantly I move towards Rick who turns his back towards me.
"Climb aboard." He bends his knees and watches as I slowly approach him. Then I put my hands on his shoulders and hop onto his back. I lock my arms around his neck while he hoists me up with his hands around my legs.
"Am I squeezing you too tight?" I ask him.
"Not at all." Rick grunts a little, but he tells me, "You're a lot lighter than I thought." He lifts me up a little higher.
"Are you sure you don't need your arms for lengthening or balancing?" Are you doubting him now? Didn't you say that it was him who needed courage?
"It's okay, Vivian. Trust me: we'll make it." Rick turns around and takes a few steps away from the creek. "I'm going to get a running start, alright? Hang on tight, milady."
No need to remind me.
"Tell me when." Rick says.
"Now!" I've had enough stalling.
Rick dashes to the edge with a tight grip on my legs and leaps into the air. I cry out for him as his feet barely touch the edge of the other side, and he uses his hands to land safely after all. I hold on tight with my eyes shut.
"Whew! That went well." Rick says as he steps away from the ledge and puts me down.
Did it? "Where to now? Through these trees here?"
"Affirmative." Rick offers his arm, and I take it hastily as we slosh through the mud once again, heading for the trees in close quarters. After being snagged by more branches, we're finally out in the open again (well, maybe that isn't a good thing with the lightning strikes and all).
"Use this." I open the umbrella once again and hold it above us. "You're soaked, Rick. You should take off your jacket. It's not designed to to keep off the rain." I feel like a million bucks with my rain jacket where the rain slides off of it versus Rick's water absorbent attire.
"You're right." He takes off his jacket and scrunches it into a ball.
"Let me hold your jacket, Rick, and you can hold my umbrella." I say and quickly snap my head up as a jagged line of lightning lights up the sky, now so dark it seems like night time at 3 pm.
We quickly exchange items before we continue to walk out into the open grass, which is about two feet tall. The next wave of thunder sounds like an explosion, and I grab Rick's arm with both hands. "This weather's getting more and more dangerous by the second." I say.
Rick moves his arm around my shoulders. "We're almost to my house." He says lightly.
Again, we're acting like the couple that we aren't but that everyone believes we are. "Do you know where we are? It's getting a little dark!"
"Of course I do!" He says. "I told you that I've taken this detour several times."
"I know, Rick." I say. "It's not you; it's me. I'm a little nervous when it comes to storms."
"I could tell you that when we were back at the school." Rick says as we walk through the grass. "That's why I asked you not to come with me."
"I wanted to come with you!" I say. "Even if it meant being out in this weather. I didn't want you to be alone." I wobble as we cover uneven ground.
Rick holds me steady with his free arm. "Sometimes I think you're a mirage, Vivian."
"A mirage?" I chuckle. "Why mirage?"
"Sometimes I feel you're too good to be true." Rick explains. "You're the kindest person at Degrassi, at least to me, and the fact that you're one of a few girls who acknowledges my existence means a lot to me. I just feel as if I'm going to come to Degrassi one morning and discover that you're not there."
I lose my footing and fall on my butt in a pile a mud, disappearing much like the mirage Rick compared me to a second ago. "I'm not going anywhere, Rick, and even though I'm not a fan of this", I indicate my situation with my hands, "I'll deal with it. I like hanging out with you." I smile up at Rick, and he offers me his hand.
"Exactly." Rick pulls me up. "No one's thought of walking out in severe weather just to be with me. Not even...Terri." He struggles with her name, and suddenly the rains feels a lot cooler against my jacket.
"You've never really told me about her, Rick." I'm shocked that I say it out loud.
Rick looks at me closely. "Well...could I tell you about her at another time? I just—"
"Need the energy." I nod. "I understand. Like my situation with Jay."
Rick's face is completely white, and I regret ever carrying out the subject, so I go back to our first one. "Look Rick, you've done me so many favors ever since I met you. This walk with you is just—"
"You returning the favor." Rick finishes. "You've told me so before." What's with us finishing each other's sentences?
"But I still would walk home with you any day. I mean that." I look at Rick. "You've got to be the sweetest guy I've ever met."
As lightning lights up the scenery around us, I hold on to Rick so quickly I don't realize it until he slowly wraps his free arm me. I smile up at him. "I can't believe you're not tired of me yet jumping at every flash of lighting."
"I could never get tired of you." Rick smiles back. "When you speak, I listen. You're my guide."
It's one of Rick's odd-but-sweet moments, and I curse myself for feeling so awkward around him and his...quirkiness. "Glad I can help you." I say at last. And the crash of thunder comes, causing me to hold on to Rick tighter, who doesn't seem to mind as he holds me closer as well. "We should hurry. The weather keeps getting worse."
Slowly the wind picks up, blowing the rain water in our faces. Rick leans the umbrella forward to shield us. We move to the edge of a slope, and Rick points down. "See those houses? Mine's is the third on the right: it's the backyard. We just have to go down this hill. Watch your step."
It's a battle to keep my balance as the wind blows against us. Steadily we move down the hill and kill time with more conversation.
"Do you get along well with the members on you quiz team?" I ask.
"Oh, they're all easy to get along with." Rick answers.
"Even Heather Sinclair?"
"Yeah. She's really clever and witty." That grin is going to crack his face. "Oh and Emma's great too. I remember how much she hated me my first day back, and the moment she kicked me out of The Dot, but she's really come around. She's finally taking me seriously, and not like the freak everyone makes me out to be." He sighs, but it sounds like a sigh of...pleasure.
Emma kicked Rick out of The Dot back then? Then she HAS come a long way with her perspective on this boy.
Rick walks on something slippery, and loses his footing, but I grab his arm before he falls down. "Careful!" I say as the board flies away in the wind. "What was that?"
Rick shrugs. "Let's keep going. We're almost at the bottom of the hill."
He's right; we clear the rest of the way down and reach level ground as the wind blows harder. What an adventure, I think bitterly. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if is wasn't stormy, but seriously, Rick? I start to regret this little detour. I haven't even called dad, who's probably worried sick about me by now by not knowing where I am. Hey: you volunteered to go with Rick. I only have myself to blame. But you were thinking selflessly. I remind myself.
Suddenly a soft howl fills the air, and it gradually becomes louder until it's blaring all around us. Rick and I both pause and stare at each other. Tornado sirens. We're in trouble if we don't reach Rick's house in time.
He grabs my arm tightly. "Let's go!" He says above the piercing sirens. The wind starts to pick up more as we dash across the clearing. The rain lightens a little, so Rick closes the umbrella so that we move a little faster.
I notice a cluster of dark leaves right in front of us, and it catches my interest. What in the world...?
I didn't notice Rick slipping beside me that caused him to let go of my arm; I don't notice anything until it's too late.
Like the sound of Rick's voice when he cries. "Vivian! Don't go near—"
It's the last I hear of him as I step on the leaves that give way, disappearing into a black hole.
And I disappear with them.
As I drop out of sight, screaming, I can't help but think of my mother and how I'm paying her an early visit. Then the blackness comes.