Hi all! Didn't get many reviews (sad face) but I did get GOOD reviews, and it's quality over quantity, roight? Oh hey, true story, last night I actually had the totally illogical thought "maybe meg cabot isn't such a genius after all…" then I thought "ok Emily, time for bed… let's not stay up this late anymore…" anyway, now 4 my TRES AWESMOE REVIEWERS!
nikki007: :grins: 1 way 2 find out… :winx:
Tory Shan: I have not yet BEGUN to hurt people. As I've said, am one of the only people with PERSONAL grudge against the fictional characters. And I LOVE to see them get hurt… yeah, I suck…. Aaah well… hehe… don't worry about it, tho… either u luv it or h8 it… it gets interesting, I think… and no me tell whether ps or js! Nice new name, btw!
SnurfyJoanne: Yes! Another review! Believe me, I shan't be the one throwing tomatoes… that was one of the reasons Jesse and I broke up… he hates paul, I luuurve paul, u kno… just didn't work. Aah well… and BELIEVE me I can sympathize with ur feelings 4 paul… hehe… haha. I like hurting them almost as much as I love making them happy… and I DO make good things happen to them sometimes… hehe I don't TRY to make cliffies… it just seems like a good place 2 end my chappies…
LlamaDuck: OMM! I JUST memorized the llama song and have been singing it 2 every1 all week! My country's motto on nationstates is "llama llama cheesecake llama… llama llama duck!" as 4 the review, read on!
QuidditchMoke: YAY new review! Hehe… I have this friend named teena and u remind me so much of her I thought u MIGHT be her at 1st but u spell "tina" differently. So I tried to name her proma, but she pulled the age card, so I decided u would make a relaly guten tina. MAZEL TOV! I kno, the movie thing is now in my songfic that I'm making… it's called guy that's in a book… it's based on lfo's girl on tv… heh I like it so far… suze wasn't sure whether 2 believe it, but wut did she have 2 lose? It wuz bound 2 be an… INTERESTING picture whether it wuz authentic or not… and ya, most people thought she wuz a joke, but
they bought the thing neway, (stupid tourists) so she made a living… hehe, ull luv the beginning of this I hope!
chocoholic: luv ur name! u shall find out! Aaw thanx! And I posted right after I got ur review, cuz u made 5… hope I get more this time, tho…
and a special thanx to: OMG I'M ON 12 DIFFY FAV AUTHORS LISTS! Neway
Like You Care
P0rn04Pyr0s
DarkPrincessKate
gatorchick007
Pens in potatoes
AmethystHannah
Tory Shan
phishphood
gottaluvspike
KatieKat19
luvfaytdestini
CoolAsIce
YOU PEOPLE ROCK SO MUCH IT'S AMAZING! And also a thanks to the peoples who have me on alert:
Calendar
Fantasywriter13
GroovyBananas
SpiceyGurl
Like You Care (AGAIN!)
QuidditchMoke
znadias24
DarkPrincessKate (AGAIN!)
gatorchick007 (AGAIN!)
Pens in potatoes (AGAIN!)
AmethystHannah (AGAIN!)
Alenor
AngrySmiles
LlamaDuck
Tory Shan (AGAIN!)
Koizak
KatieKat19 (AGAIN!)
luvfaytdestini (AGAIN!)
nikki007
AND NOW, THE MOMENT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE I STARTED BLABBERING LIKE A MORON…. MY NEW CHAPTER!
Evry1 shocked me in this chappy. I wuznt xpecting mosta them 2 do wut they did.
My first thought was that Jesse, after one more day of passion, had flown into a jealous rage and decided to kill me. Shut up, I'd just woken up. My second thought was obviously of Paul being mad at the whole nose thing. And ribs thing. And eyes thing. My third thought was of the first time I'd woken up with a knife to my throat. Finally, my eyes adjusted to the dark. How could it be? It was… the same person as the first time! "Where's Jesse?"
"Jess—oh, yes. Hector. Well, your cute little friend in the hospital was attacked by Fel—I mean, a ghost. Naturally Hector went off to protect her." Great. Jesse was off protecting Claire while I was… wait… my "cute little friend?" That was what Paul had called her! Of course!
"What do you want, Maria?"
She sniffed daintily. "Revenge."
"Sorry then, but I'm booked solid. Try again next week? I've got a space on Friday…"
Her eyes widened. "Come with me, now!" Oh dammit…
"I'm up, I'm up." I started to get up, then stopped. "Hey, umm… can I get something on first?"
She looked disgusted. "Fine. Where are your dresses, bonnets, petti—"
"I need a bra, panties, jeans—"
"You may wear a dress!" she shouted.
"Fine. Umm, It's in my closet. And my underwear is in a drawer. But I'm not getting up until you leave."
"Do you think me a fool? As soon as I leave, you will jump out a window or some such thing." Yeah, that was the plan. So much for that.
"Well then pass me something." She held up a few of the wrong things, clearly wanting to see me in the buff about as much as I wanted her to see me. Which is to say, not at all. She finally got me the right things and I got dressed under the covers. I could tell already that this was going to be a fun fun fun day. "Where are we going?"
"That is not for you to know." She put a cloth over my eyes and around my hands. I couldn't believe no one was moving to help a girl blindfolded with her hands bound behind her back apparently being pushed by nothing, but no one did. Maria knew she didn't need to put anything over my mouth, because if I screamed for help people would just think I was nuts. She pushed me roughly down the hall, and let me tell you, Maria pushing me was NOTHING like Jesse pushing me. Elevator, lobby, outside, left turn, left turn, across the street, right, street, left, right. I was making notes of all this in my head just in case. I tried to make something out of it like I'd taken to doing when I had to memorize something. Little Leon Sherman ran straight like… rain. L, L, S, R, S, L, R. Stupid song, but hopefully it would get the job done. I was freezing in the dress Maria had handed me, which was a summer dress. I hoped wherever we were going was heated. Needless to say, it wasn't. "Sit."
"'Kay." She took my blindfold off, but left the hand-tie thingy on. I was in an abandoned thingy, that was all I could tell. "So where's your boss?"
"My what?"
"You know… the guy who orders you around… Paul."
"Oh, he is—wait! What makes you think Paul orders me about?"
"I'm incredibly smart," I lied.
"I am working entirely by myself. The whole plot was mine."
I laughed outloud. "Right. And Jesse killed me two years ago after I was elected president of North Korea." But Maria clearly had no idea what I was talking about. (A/N: Jesse appreciates my hilariosity, even if he doesn't like where my story is going) "So… what'd ya bring me here for?"
"You are not to know yet. But you will cooperate."
I laughed again. "She don't know me very well, do she?"
"You will indeed, and I hear your reason arriving now."
There were some sounds of a struggle, and in walked Jack Slater. Actually, he didn't walk, he was pushed. But who was pushing him was even more surprising than Jack himself. No. Too much. It couldn't be!
"Heather?"
"Hey Susie."
"Heather Chambers?"
"Yes ma'am." She was looking pretty happy about something. Too happy.
"OK, I'll bite. So what's the kid doing here?" I was pretending not to know him.
Heather pulled the blindfold and the gag off of him. The blindfold and gag were all glowing. Ghost thingies, like Jesse's hanky or Maria's knife. That'd be why no one helped me… "Suze! Help me! They kidnapped me! I was visiting Paul and he left the room for a second and this girl came in and brought me wherever this is and it took a really long time and I'm so glad you're here Suze!" Wow. Thanks, Jack. I mean, I felt for him and all, he did have a demon for a brother, and he didn't even seem to know Paul was in on the whole thing. But seriously.
"Yeah, OK, ditto, ditto, your brother is the spawn of Satan, etc, etc. I'm not particularly glad I'm here, myself, but at least it's helping one of us."
"What about my brother?"
"Hmm… a bunch of my exorcized ghosts of Christmas past come back and kidnap me and you while your brother, who had just invited you over, leaves the room. Not to mention the convenient timing of the attack on one of my patients," I carefully avoided calling Claire a friend, "who is already in the hospital, meaning Jesse has to leave my side for the first time in days. And Maria here calls her the same thing your brother did. And claims to have masterminded the whole thing. Didn't need Scooby Doo to solve that mystery." Maria stared at me and Heather grinned. As I've said, Heather looked entirely too happy. "All right, Chambers, what are you on and where can I get some?"
Jack looked shocked that I knew them both, then looked around and recognized Maria. Heather replied that she was just happy to see me tied up where I belonged. I responded that flattering as that was, I doubted that that was all. She informed me that it wasn't a compliment, and if I'd been exorcized, I'd want the perp brought to justice too. Yeah. Me brought to justice. Because I was so the bad one here.
"So," I started conversationally. "Where'd you get the ghost blindfolds?"
"Shaved a dead sheep." Wow. Surprisingly resourceful. I'd never even seen a dead sheep… But then, I didn't go around many farms checking to see which sheep were glowing…
At that moment, the mastermind himself walked in. He had two shiners, and a bandaged nose. I restrained a grin and tried to look concerned, because he was my captor after all. Didn't want to purposely antagonize him. Actually, yes, I did, but I stopped myself. Mostly. Jack, even after my monologue, was still surprised to see him. "Paul? You did this? To me? And Suze?"
"Jack, who do you think did this to my face?" His voice was raspy, as if—oh, right, I'd broken some ribs. "And my ribs?"
Jack had no such qualms about antagonizing his captor. "Suze did that to you?" He burst out laughing. "She's not exactly muscle-man there!" I let this bit of sexism pass, because it was funny. And it was true about the muscles. My lip quivered. "Jesus though, Paul, what did you do to her?"
"Nothing. She thought I was flirting with her and the ghost man started beating me up, then she did too. I didn't want to hurt her, so I didn't fight back."
I guffawed. "So you're ashamed enough of what you did to me to lie to your own brother and two ghost women?"
"You're ashamed enough of what you did to me to lie to my own brother and said women?"
For a second, Jack didn't know whom to believe, but given our past records, he rather sensibly went with me. He winked at me and then went "Suze, you're a horrible liar." Hey, maybe I had taught him pretty well after all!
"Hey," I suddenly remembered. "I have a patient today. I gotta tell 'em I can't make it. Number's in my cell. Cell's in my pocket." Heather obligingly got it out of my pocket, found the name I gave her, Cleary, and held the phone up to my ear.
"Hello? It's Dr. Simon. I won't be making it in today because I was kidnapped by—"
Heather grabbed the phone away, for the first time looking worried. Paul grinned and took it. Speaking in his rasping voice, he said into the phone "Hi. This is Dr. Miller from Belle Reve Mental Hospital. We're sorry Miss Simon here got a hold of her phone, but we hear she's been masquerading as a psychologist?" I had to give him props for not saying Bellevue, as that could be checked. Damn damn damn. I got mad because my plan had been foiled… and maybe a little scared…
"PAUL! PUT DOWN MY PHONE! Please, Mrs. Cleary, get help! I studied 10 years for my PhD!" But Paul had put a hand over the speaker and was grinning at me. He antagonized me! No fair! "Paul, you're the one who tried to kiss me in front of my boyfriend while I was wearing what I was wearing when Maria found me this morning." This simultaneously shocked Maria, Heather, Jack, and Paul. Maria knew what I had been wearing this morning, and Paul was surprised that I'd been wearing that this morning with Jesse. No one else knew what I'd been wearing, but the other two were surprised he'd done that at all. I shot a look at Jack, who got my meaning and resumed looking like he didn't believe me. Heather was looking at Paul with what I assumed was disgust, but then she looked at me. It wasn't disgust… It was… jealousy. She liked Paul? Was she crazy? Was I getting territorial? Damn. I called Jesse silently. Didn't work. I noticed Felix still wasn't there. I hoped my "cute little friend" was OK. Well, as OK as she had been when last I'd seen her, anyway.
"Hope this hasn't caused too much inconvenience, Mr. Cleary. Have a nice day. Mmk buh-bye now."
I stopped myself from swearing at him. "Paul, perhaps you'll tell me what Heather here is so damned happy about?"
"You can tell her, babe."
Babe? This guy had just gotten his bones broken a night ago for trying to kiss ME! Now suddenly Heather's "babe"? Me? Jealous? Nopes. No friggin' way.
Heather beamed. "Paulie's making me alive again!" Paulie? Wait… making her… alive? But the only way he could make her alive would be to kill someone…
"It's me, isn't it?" I asked flatly.
"What is?" (Jack)
"You're going to put Heather Chambers in my body, aren't you?"
Heather beamed. "Not that it's a perfect specimen of a body, and it's a little old and frumpy, but it'll do!" Hey! I may not have been a "perfect" specimen, but I was not old or frumpy! I pursed my lips. "I'll be alive!"
"And Paul will have my body like he wants."
"No! He wants my soul! He's willing to put up with your body!"
"Of course, Heather, of course."
"Hey, do you have any other bodies I could use? Any girls? Who are younger than you? And maybe prettier? And have friends? Aren't you, like, a psychologist?"
"Nope. No girl patients and no young ones. Just old, ugly guys. They're very lonely and they invent ghosts for themselves."
Heather looked put out, but Paul looked relieved. Well, he was warm for my form after all then, but any delusions about his liking me for my dazzling intellect and quick wit were pretty much gone. Almost. "Paul, who would you rather have, me, or Chambers pretending to be me?"
"It's not like you've ever been an option, Suze."
"Paulie!" Heather shouted. "What are you inferring?" She meant implying, of course.
"Paul," I got his attention. "I know I've always been kind of unattainable, but you look so vulnerable right now, and… and… when you and I were kissing, Jesse didn't get jealous at all, and I don't think he even really loves me, and I can tell by the way you kiss me that you really like me too, and please just give me one more chance, Paul, and I swear on my father's grave I'll kiss you better than I've ever kissed you before!"
Paul pondered this. "You're father's grave, huh? Well I'll give you one chance, but there's two very powerful women in here who can back me up if you try anything."
"Paulie! You said! You said I could be alive!"
"Heather, you're not in any danger yet. I don't even know if she means it."
"YET? Paul! You like her better than me?"
"Heather, shut up. Maria, untie her. Both of you, watch her."
Maria reluctantly untied me. I beamed and ran to Paul. I kissed him deeply. And I'm not going to lie. I enjoyed it.
Yes. I enjoyed it. But my chilliness brought me back to consciousness. "Paul, I'm freezing. Hey Maria, can I have your outermost layer of skin?"
She made her lips into a tiny little line, but Paul made her give me her sweater thing. I put it on and put my hands inside. Then I kissed him some more, and it was pleasant. I wasn't even sure whether it was more or less pleasant than what happened next.
Yes, I brought Maria, Heather, and Felix back. And I brought Jack in. Yay 4 me. I have so many ideas 4 this story, and they go from here. I have no idea how I got so far off topic from the seshes. But I know where I'm going with this, guys, really I do. Monster… want… reviews! Oh, and uh… blood. Sure. Yeah, I almost ended this chappy at "I enjoyed it," but I changed my mind cuz the "what happened next" had a more suspenseful effect. Oh, and at some point during this chappy, I decided 2 put in a challenge 2 m'self. I've always wanted 2 do a challenge fic, but I nvr got around 2 asking ne1 4 a challenge. But I can't tell u wut the line is till after sum1 says it.