snorts yeah, yeah, I know, but it's my time of the month. So shut up.

OK, so I just reread this before I posted (and by the way, there were like NO reviews on that last! Ok, Before you start reading this, rest assured, that I SUCK. But I seem to do all my writing at the same time… of the month. BWAHAHAHAHHA! Eventually, I guarantee, I get out my aggressions entirely. I've currently started chapter… 31. New character comes in, ya kno, fun fun fun. This will end happily… or at least, my idea of happy (that tells you nothing whatsoever, trust me). But first, a series of unfortunate events, basically. WHEE! I hate the way I write, really I do, but no one else has said they hated me… (much).

Now normally, I wouldn't post after so pitifully few reviews… (and I know you're OUT there, I have a hit counter!) but… you know… thanksgiving weekend… good time for reading stuff… NOW FOR REVIEW RESPONSES! This is where you skip ahead if you feel like it.

Querida1607: AHH! YOU CHANGED YOUR NAME! I didn't know if it was you so I had to check your e-mail address (which by the way does not match your penname at ALL, but I love it!) Oh, right, review! Oh trust me, there is PLENTY more. I'm glad you like it:-)

Alenor: To quote mike birbiglia (AAAHHH! HE E-MAILED ME!) that is so sweet:warm fuzzies: me feels good now! However, you might change your mind… :-(

Tracy Sez: Thanks! And yes, people change constantly with my mood. That's the mark of a good author, right? Right? RIGHT?

Pens in potatoes: Oh my Meg, it was so awesome to suddenly get like 10 e-mails going REVIEW ALERT! Those are totally my favorite e-mails that aren't from mike birbiglia and aren't announcing a new meg cabot book! But I gotta ask you: HOW did you KNOW that it was MY personality they were adopting? You're like, psychical! But yeah, in my non-fan-fic story, they all DO have my personality. Rather, different facets, though. Here is the next chapter, just for you! (and the other reviewers… and anyone else who reads the story!)

AnOnYmOuS: Lol, THANKS. (not sarcastic) better little reviews then none…

At any rate... TO THE STORY!

The next few weeks, Jesse spent a lot of time with Claire, and I spent a lot of time with Tim. Yup, Jesse and Claire alone. But I trusted him. Like he trusted me? No, more than that… Anyway, I decided it'd be a really bad idea to tell Paul I'd been lying, so I called him finally. (Just a phone call, so no nonsense.)

"Look, Paul, Jesse and I… well… we're back together. I'm sorry, Paul. Oh, and about Heather?" Silence. "She moved on. Nonviolently."

"I see," he answered stonily. "Can I talk to him?" He said 'him' in almost exactly the tone of voice Jesse said it in. Only of course Jesse had just the slightest little accent. After a while, he'd started to lose it. His accent, I mean. But when I told him I found it unbelievably sexy, it had come back even stronger. Funny how that works. Then I realized I was supposed to be talking right about now.

"He's not here at the moment."

"Oh. Claire."

"Yes. But they're not doing anything. He's helping her out around the house. She says he's a great cook." Babbling again.

"He cooks for her, eh? And what have you been eating these days?" I didn't want to answer. The previous night I had had take-out. The night before it had been canned pasta. Before that, top ramen. And the night before, as a special treat, pizza. Jesse hadn't cooked for me in about two weeks. And I'd been seeing him less and less. "I thought as much. You wanna rethink your decision? 'Cause it seems to me he's trying to have the best of both worlds. Claire for fun and sex, and you for… well… when was the last time you two had either?" Actually, it had been the day of the previous Paul fiasco. But I didn't want to say that either. "I see. Well Suze, I'm always here. Even after I've killed you and put someone else in your body, I'd be glad to be in a relationship with your ghost as well as whoever's acting as you."

"Gee, thanks Paul; that means a lot to me. Oh, and Paul, I love you and Jesse means nothing."

"What?"

"Sorry, usually when I say something like that Jesse shows up behind me. Didn't work this time. Oh, but here's Tim. There we go, then. Toodles, Paul."

Tim managed to raise his eyebrow in a way that looked nothing whatsoever like Jesse or Paul. He looked more like Jim Carey or something. "You're a very interesting person, Suze."

"Thanks. So what are you doing here?"

"Can't a guy come see his friend without being doing something?"

"Yes he can. So what are you doing here?"

"Claire and Jesse sent me."

"Did they now."

"Suze, look into my eyes for a minute." I looked up. "You have beautiful eyes, by the way… Jesse's right on that count. Can't agree with most of what he says about you… smart, funny, pretty… just don't see it." He grinned maliciously.

"Was there a point to this?"

"Yes. Look into my eyes. Jesse and Claire…"

"Yes?"

"Are not having an affair."

"What makes you think I thought that?"

"Well… there's the fact that YOU DO."

"Says who?"

"Says you. 'Ooh… Jesse and Claire are alone together? And he's cooking for her?' But you know it's nothing serious. He's just in it for the fun and sex."

"NOT FUNNY!"

"I disagree," he informed me between snickers.

"Be right back," I excused myself icily. I went into the bedroom for a moment and came back with a pillow, which I promptly threw at him.

He collapsed on the couch. "You are kind of like Claire. I guess I can see what Jesse sees in you. Both of you."

"It's not funny!"

"Not very convincing when you're smiling."

"Shut up!" By now I'd collapsed onto the couch next to him. I have no idea why, maybe whoever writes the story of my life was in a funny mood or something, or maybe I was. But I kissed him. Deep. I don't know why. I'm just a slut, I guess. I pulled away once I realized what I was doing. Tim had this dazed look on his face. I turned around and saw… no one. That was a first. I had kissed another guy, and Jesse hadn't popped up. Or Claire, or Paul, or Maria, anyone. That never happened! I didn't really know what to do now. "I'm… sorry…"

"No… I'm… I mean… don't be… I mean… what just happened?"

"I think I kissed you."

"That's what I thought. Might I ask why?"

Déjà vu… "I have no earthly idea."

"I… I love Claire… and… Jesse loves you… you know that…"

"I know. I don't know. I mean, I've been… it just really seems like… don't you think… and you were… and I wasn't… You know… I dunno…"

"Well, I'm glad we got that cleared up." I had to laugh. "You aren't going to do that again, are you?"

"No… I mean… do you want me to?"

"No… I mean… I don't know… I don't think so… I mean, Claire… and… Jesse…" Now he was babbling.

"That wasn't as no-ish as it could have been."

"You're right."

So I kissed him again. And my old familiar luck returned. After about a minute of this, there was a clank. I pulled away quickly.

"Oh, please," said the person making the furniture clank. "Don't stop on my account."

Déjà vu full force. "Jesse," Tim began while I was fumbling for words. "It was my fault. She wasn't expecting it at all. I umm… pulled her…"

"Shut up, Tim. Jesse, it was my fault. I'm a horrible slut, apparently. Don't blame Tim. And if Claire finds out, make sure she knows it was me. Not Tim. Me."

"Suze, you need to stop talking. You would get in more trouble than I will. Jesse. Need to get your frustration out?" He pushed me off his lap, where I hadn't even realized I had been. "Take a punch. I won't fight."

"Are you going to believe that he did this or that I did?" Jesse still wasn't saying anything, which was scarier than if he had been. "Jesse, please talk… you're scaring me." Jesse sat down hard on the chair across from us.

"You know…" he finally began. "Ghosts don't normally get headaches. But I'm dating one. Go figure."

I stood up and sat next to him, fidgeting nervously. "Jesse, I'm sorry. Tim, I'm sorry."

"Jesse," Tim shook his head. "Sorry, man. Suze… yeah. Should I leave or would that be abandoning responsibility?"

I turned to Jesse, giving him a 'your choice' look. "Please leave." Tim disappeared immediately.

"Jesse… I don't know what to say."

He shook his head, opened his mouth, closed it, and started laughing. He actually started laughing.

"Jesse? Are you OK?"

He shook his head and laughed more. "Jesse…"

"Are—" he finally began, "are you just going—to keep saying—my name?" He collapsed again into laughter.

"Je—I'm sorry."

"'Jesse' and 'I'm sorry' are your only vocabulary when you do something like this, aren't they? And you do do things like this a bit too often…"

"Just the—well, twice! Well, I guess 3 times… and there was—I'm gonna shut up now."

He nodded vigorously, still laughing. "That would be a good idea." After he seemed to have collected himself, he asked, "Do I want to know the course of events leading up to what I saw?"

"I guess… Well… most of it…" He let out a choke of laughter. "Well, I called Paul…" That sobered him up real fast. "To formally break up with him before he noticed you and I were still together… speaking of which… are we still together?" He nodded, and kind of started laughing again. "And… he suggested something…" He raised his eyebrows in that way I can't resist. "About you… and Claire."

Comprehension dawned. "So that's why you kissed Tim? Because he planted the seed of suspicion?"

"Well…" I admitted, "He didn't exactly 'plant' it there."

"I see. Continue your narrative, please."

I collected myself. "Then Tim came and I might've tried to plant the same 'seed of suspicion' in his head, but he just started joking about it. Then we got on the couch and we were laughing… and then… I don't really know. It just happened."

"And then I came in."

Truth or lie, Suze? Lies are what keep getting me into trouble. Much as I hated it, truth I was. "No. That's not where you came in."

"But you were…"

I shook my head. "Then we talked about you and Claire and how guilty we felt… he was just dazed, really… and then he said something about whether I was going to do it again, and I asked if he wanted me to, and he apparently didn't say "no" enough or something because I kissed him again, and that was when you came in." I flopped onto my armrest, but Jesse pulled me toward him. I rested my head on the opposite armrest and looked up into his eyes. "Did you really say all those things about me that Tim said you said?"

"That depends what he said I said."

"Something about my eyes?"

"If it was that they shone like emeralds, then yes, I said it."

"To Tim?"

"And Claire."

I looked up at him. Out of nowhere, probably because it was my time of the month, even though I would die before admitting it to a male, I started crying. "I don't deserve you!"

"Possibly not." I snapped to attention, but he was just grinning. "Nevertheless, I love you. I would say I'll love you until I die, but that doesn't apply in our case. And I'll love you even after I move on, from heaven or hell."

"Jesse, if there is a heaven and hell, you are without a doubt going to heaven."

"Do you think so?"

"Definitely."

"Hmm…" He pondered this for a moment. "I'll miss you, then."

"Jesse!"

He just laughed again.

"Jesse…"

"Don't tell me… you want to talk about it. Haven't I suffered enough?"

"That's what I want to talk about!"

"Goodie."

"You say you've been suffering, and I'm sure you have, but you keep laughing… it's not healthy to keep feelings bottled up. Act how you feel. Like, I feel incredibly guilty, so I keep apologizing. You feel hurt but you keep laughing. That can't be good…"

He just laughed more. He kept laughing until he was crying. And then he was just crying. He swore in Spanish and wiped his eyes.

"Jesse. This is the new millennium. Guys who cry are hot." I kissed his tears away. "I just hate that I was the one who made you cry. I could kill me."

"But you won't." He sounded concerned. "Will you?"

"What good would that do? I know at least two non-you guys who could see me anyway."

"Indeed."

"I won't if you don't want me to… last thing I need right now is to purposely pick a fight with you."

"Well don't, then. If you're meant to be a ghost, there'll be plenty of time for that after your life."

"That's optimistic."

"I'm sorry."

"I wasn't being sarcastic. That is optimistic." We looked at each other for a minute or so. We looked into each other's eyes. He had the best eyes… It was like looking into a lake or something, dark and deep. I almost drowned. Luckily, Jesse pointed out that I wasn't breathing before I passed out. "I love you, Jesse. I do know why I do what I do."

"Do you, now?"

"Because I'm a slut and an idiot. I repeat that I don't deserve you."

"Quite possibly." I didn't scowl because he was right. "But it doesn't matter. I wouldn't be hurt at all if I didn't love you so much."

"You also wouldn't be hurt at all if I weren't such a horrible person."

"You're not a horrible person. But you're right in that this could have been easily avoided."

I winced. "Perfectly true. I hate me."

"Hey. No insulting my girlfriend."

I had to smile at that. "So I'm still your girlfriend?"

"Querida, if we broke up every time you kissed another man—I don't particularly want to think about that, actually."

I looked down. "I've been so unlike me lately. Meg was always so nice, but Emily's just a bitch!" (A/N: By now you've figured out that that last sentence didn't happen. MY 1ST AUTHOR'S NOTE OF THE WHOLE CHAPPY! I SO PROUD O' ME! Hey, "chappy" looks a lot like "crappy"! what a coincidence!) "I'm sorry, Jesse."

"So we're finally back to 'Jesse' and 'I'm sorry.'"

I smiled weakly. "I guess so. But I am that, you."

He grinned and started kissing me. Really kissing me. Good. And every synonym for good in the thesaurus that relates to quality. But not the moral standing ones, like "righteous". Because there was nothing innocent about that kiss. It was heaven, though. Not particularly angelic, but heaven definitely. But I knew what I had to do. "Stop."

"What!"

"We can't do this tonight."

"Why not!"

"Because do you realize that every time I've done something wrong, we've ended up having sex? I think that sends the wrong message to my subconscious."

"Wonderful. So now you're depriving me of sex. Want to just talk about it some more? All night? And then burn every book accessible so that when you finally fall asleep from sheer boredom, I have nothing to do but mull over it? Then why don't you bring Slater and Tim over and have a big make out session as I sit and watch, preferably while wild horses try to tear me limb from limb?"

"Wow. Jesse, if that's how you feel, we don't have to not… but you remember the beach?"

Flashback.

I was back in California, in high school. CeeCee and Adam and I were on the beach. I was wearing a two-piece, which I barely ever did because Jesse disapproved. But this one was just too cute. Anyway, I would be talking when randomly Jesse would cover my mouth. My voice would be all muffled and they couldn't figure out why. I told him not to do that when I had a moment, but I was laughing too hard for him to take me seriously. And then I'd lay back on my towel and fake-yawn, stretching my arms and wrapping them around his neck, pulling him onto me for a risky make out session. Needless to say, he continued to pull the prank.

"No. I'm just blowing off steam. I'm sorry. You're absolutely right, though. I can go one night if it means this won't happen as often."

"Jesse… I really am sorry. Even if I've slightly overused the phrase."

"Slightly."

"Jesse… I love you so much… I really am so—"

"Don't! Even. Say it. Please, Susannah, if I hear it one more time, I'll pull out all my chest hairs by hand."

"No! I love your chest hairs!"

"Yes, Susannah, that's the concern in that sentence."

"Is for me."

"Aren't you sweet."

"Aren't I?"

"You aren't."

"I wonder…"

"What?"

"I'm sor—" He clapped a hand over my mouth.

"That isn't funny." I nodded that it was, then opened my mouth and licked his hand. He pulled it away and wiped it on my shirt. "None of that tonight."

"Feh. Will you still come in with me?"

"I'm not leaving you alone as long as I can avoid it. Bad things happen when you're alone. That was what Tim was there for, but even he cannot stop your bad luck, apparently."

"I don't believe in luck. We make our own destinies. I'm just really really bad at it."

"Do you hear that?" he asked suddenly.

"Hear what?"

"Me disagreeing with you?"

"No…"

"Exactly."

I made a vague exclamation at this. But then we went into my room. There was no hanky panky, unfortunately. I changed in the bathroom, after automatically checking to make sure it was empty, and got into bed. Jesse tucked me in and kissed me on the cheek. We exchanged "I love you"s and went to sleep. Well, I went to sleep. Jesse read The Princess Bride. The last thing I heard that night was "It's amazing that Goldman just made up an original author, book, and family…"

But the next day, the truth came out, and my life would never be the same.

A/N: I know, Jesse's being very OOC, but if u think about wuts been goin' on… which I am… first he finds the love of his life making out with his worst enemy while he's in the hospital, then again in the nude, then she insults him and kisses worst enemy again right in front of him, then finally again with his best friend. And all because the girl he left Suze for left him so he could be with Suze and got really mad at both of them and made them be horrible (me). I feel a little guilty, but not enuff 2 stop doing this. :-D. I'm so incrediblky mad at Jesse and Suze, I keep doing this. Yay! Yay 4 bitternosity! Apologies 2 all whom I've offended. EXCEPT YOU SUZE! Possibly u, jesse. Kind o' sorry. Anyway, REVIEW, PRETTY PRETTY PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE! Especially if you want to know how that cliffie ends!

D2FP, guys!