Salut, all! I know, I know, this update has taken for freaking EVER, but the more I put it off, the more I put it off… you know the drill. I'm going through and replacing all my old chapters with new, non-review-replying chapters. I may be one of the few authors to actually lose my readers to them outgrowing my story. I've just reread my whole story (it's finished, btw, 31 chapters. Don't hate me. Here's 21.) and suddenly, I don't like very much. Don't get me wrong, some of it has me laughing, but the writing is sooo bad, it's almost funny itself. Once I'm done replacing my chapters, I'll post 22! Please review, I love you all!
The next day, I went to see Claire. Read, show off my ring.
She immediately ran up and hugged me. "So, did he ask you yet?"
So she knew already. Couldn't hamper my excitement, though. "Yes!"
"And what did you say!"
"What do you think I said?"
"If it wasn't yes, Suze, as a friend of Jesse… I will have to kill you. You understand that, right?"
"Of course. Of course I said yes!"
"Then let me see that emerald!" She knew… feh. I proudly displayed my left hand. "That is so gorgy, Suze! You know that thing is 18 Karat white gold?"
"No, I didn't. How did you?"
"Umm… Suze… do you really think Jesse walked in and said 'gimme that gorgeous green one'?"
"Oh… that's right…"
"And he didn't ask you because that would have been thoroughly unromantic, and the only other live'n he knows is Paul. And Paul couldn't make it, so I was the next best thing."
"I see."
"Soo… Tim's a pretty good kisser, huh?"
I blushed madly. "He… he told you about that, huh?"
"Yup. Must have been an awful lot like Tad Beaumont, huh?"
"Exactly li—wait, how did you know about Tad Beaumont?"
"Jesse and I did do some talking between the wild pregnancy sex."
"Not funny!"
I heard a tiny cough. "Oh… great… hehe… come in, Mon."
"Eavesdropping, Monny? You know better than that!"
"Daddy was doing it too!" she exclaimed defensively.
"It's… true… I… I was…"
In walked a very surprised looking Tim.
"Mon…" I began. "You can see Ti—your father?"
"Yeah," she said matter-of-factly.
There was silence.
"Why didn't you tell us, sweetie?" asked her mother, finally.
"You woulda thought I was crazy!"
There were so many things wrong with that sentence, I had to laugh. And then, of course, I couldn't stop. "Didn't you ever try to touch her, Tim?"
"Well, yes…"
"And notice that you could?"
"Yeah… why?"
"Because only mediators can touch ghosts!"
"Are you serious?"
"Yeah!"
"Oh… well, I only ever tried to touch Claire and Monica…"
"Oh for God's sake…"
"Mommy? Or Suze?"
"Mmhmm?"
"What's wild pregnancy sex?"
"Ask your mother," I said quickly, at the same time as Claire said "I'll let Suze take this one."
"Your mother," explained Tim, "was making a joke."
"Oh… what about when she said you were a good kisser?"
"Is your couch good for falling on?"
"Yeah."
I fell on it just as Jesse popped up. "Where have you been, baby?"
"Oh… nowhere… just running an errand…"
"Where?"
"Paul's apartment."
"Doing what?"
"Oh… just the usual…"
"Which is?"
"Taking his keys and putting them under the couch cushions." I guffawed. "Oh… are we having this conversation in front of Monica?"
"Yups. It turns out that little Monica here is a mediator."
"Honestly?"
"Ask her."
"Monica… can you see me?"
"Yups!" She sounded proud this time, now that she knew we could all see ghosts. Or were ghosts, in some cases.
"Brilliant."
Her father ran over and picked her up. "Oh, sweetie!"
"Jesse, shall we leave the happy family alone?"
Claire snorted. "Yeah, that's your motivation for leaving. Wouldn't have to do with the bit where you just got engaged."
"You're engaged?"
I beamed and showed Monica my ring.
"Ooh! It's beautiful! It matches your eyes, Suze!"
"Thanks!"
"Well, we'll be leaving now," Jesse declared. Was it my imagination or did he look at Tim when he said that?
"Hey, Suze?" Now I knew what Jesse meant about constant use of his name…
"Yes Mon?"
"What did you mean about daddy being a good kisser?"
"Nice to see you all bye now!" I ran out the door.
Jesse caught up to me immediately. "What did you mean about Tim being a good kisser?"
"I didn't say it! Claire did!"
"And you replied?"
"Come in, Monica?"
He rolled his eyes. "So is he?"
"Is who what?"
"Is Tim a good kisser?"
"Jesse…"
"Yes?"
"I'm torn… would you be offended on his behalf if I told you he stank?"
"Not in the least. But would it be the truth?"
"He was… OK."
Jesse was speechless for a moment. "O…K?"
"I guess… nothing special, though. Not like you."
"Then—"
"Then why did I do it. Caught up in the moment?"
"I see."
"No you don't. Neither do I. I think I'm starting to like your method of not thinking about it. And anyway, now I have my perdy ring. I'll never do it again, Jesse."
"I hope not."
"So do I."
But the very next day, I was proven wrong.
Haha, I suck. I'll totally update, though. Haha, this story is horrible. It only gets worse. Oh, the writing improves. I mean I become more sadistic. I thought I should warn you. Oh, and it gets R-rated. So if you don't want some R-rated sadism, stop reading now! If you do, review and I shall update!