Oh, shut UP already. I already KNOW I suck. Actually, though, if you do think I suck, TELL ME! In a REVIEW::is embarrassed:

(oh, and i wrote that comment long before i posted the last chapter, about which people have supposedly been complaining)

God, this is a horrible chapter, but i :heart: Jesse in it.

My first instinct was to scream "get off my boyfriend!" But that would be a horrible double-standard. Of course. Claire wanted to make me jealous. Just so I could see what I was putting Jesse through. This was a test. I knew because Tim wasn't doing anything. They were really going at it, though. And I was getting more than a little jealous. I deserved it, but it felt ghastly. When she went for his shirt, though, I couldn't take it. "OK! I get it! Jealousy sucks! Please stop! Please!"

Claire pulled away, but Jesse leaned in a little. I really, really hoped it was part of his act. Claire got up and gave me a 'told ya so' look. "Jes—" He gave me a warning look. "OK, I won't say it."

"Wow Suze!" Paul interjected. "I haven't seen you cry since high school!" I was crying? Damn. "Junior year. That was him too, wasn't it?" He indicated Jesse.

"I was mistaken then. And it's not him this time either. It's you. And… me."

"So you get jealous when Jesse kisses Claire."

"Yeah. Jealousy seriously sucks."

"What about…" He grabbed Claire and kissed her. She agreed with the idea, apparently, because she kissed back. I just bit the inside of my lip. Not jealous. Not jealous. Tim, on the other hand, walked across the room. To the window. Through the window. Few stories down, but he couldn't get any deader.

"I have no problem with any girl kissing Paul. Aside from the fact that he might enjoy it. On the other hand, Claire, you are married. And your husband just walked through the window." Claire said a very bad word and almost followed him out. But Jesse stopped her.

"The elevator, Claire." She moved to walk out. Could he be…? Were his eyes on Claire's butt? I was starting to get reeeally sick of this déjà vu. Please be acting, Jesse. "Paul, I think you may want to leave. Now."

"But I want to watch the fireworks. All my work to make them…"

"GET OUT!" Jesse shouted. I just sat quietly. Paul grinned and danced out the door.

I buried my face in the couch and shook with tears. "I really tried, Jesse, I tried so hard!"

"But Slater is just irresistible."

"Yeah! I mean, no! Well, kinda… Jesse, he doesn't hold a candle to you!"

"But he's a pretty close second?"

"He's not even second. He's not top 20."

"So there's at least 19 other men you would kiss?"

"You're twisting my words!" Jesse glared at me.

"I'm twisting them? Enough excuses! If we're getting married, it needs to be a monogamous relationship!"

"Get… married?"

"We are engaged, Susannah."

"Still?"

"Do you not want to be engaged anymore?"

"God, of course I do! I want it more than anything in the world! But I'm a headache! You even said so! I need you like oxygen, and you need me like…"

"Oxygen?"

My lips twitched. "In your case, that does work. But I was thinking… a hole in your head."

"Don't I wish."

"Wish what?"

"That I didn't need you."

"Yeah… that'd be nice…" I considered this."For you… not so much for me… Just for the record, I was doing fine as long as I was wearing the ring! It reminds me of you!"

"Because without a physical reminder, you forget about me."

"I'd never forget about you."

"So you were thinking about me, but disregarded me in favor of Paul."

"There's not right answer to this, is there?"

"Got a time machine?"

"No…"

"Then no."

"I'm sor—never mind. Oh, OK, I'm… apologetic, regretful, remorseful, repentant, sad…"

"Susannah, be quiet."

"I'm getting better at resisting, Jesse, really I am!"

"Why do you keep saying my name?"

"Because it's my second favorite word in the world!"

"And what's the first? Paul?"

"God, no." I blushed. "Querida."

Jesse sighed. Then he scowled. He closed his eyes. Then he threw the ring. At me. "Take it. Just take it. I don't care if you run over it with a steamroller like you have to my heart. Just take it."

"I'm really, really… I think I used up all my synonyms before… What else can I say?"

"It's not what you say, Susannah, it's what you do."

"I try Jesse! There's not much else I can do!"

"OK. Now I know this will be hard, and it will take skill and practice. You have to… NOT KISS OTHER MEN."

"I don't kiss him, he kisses me!"

"And then you…"

Silence.

"And anyway, from what I heard, it was you kissing Tim."

"That was before we were engaged!"

"We'd been together for over a decade!"

"Yes. You're right. I have no excuses."

"Don't start crying again. It's not fair."

"OK… I'll try…"

"I hope you're better at trying not to cry than you are at trying not to kiss anyone…"

"I'm really— I'll shut up."

"Please do."

I rubbed my eyes furiously.

"Nombre de dios, Susannah, why do you have to be so…"

"So what?"

He sighed. "Irresistible." He looked at me. "When did you put the ring on?"

"I don't remember… but I won't cheat on you again. Never ever. If I do, may I be—"

"No, chances are you will. Let's not attach consequences."

"Why do you think I will?"

"Because you keep doing it…"

"True. But I'm really gonna stop."

"Of course you are, querida."

He'd called me querida again! Yes!

"So are we not doing anything again tonight?"

"That's your choice."

"Maybe I'll call Claire…"

"I'm already jealous! Quit it before I kill someone!"

"You realize that killing Claire would give her a decided advantage…"

"Jesse!"

"Well it would…"

"Is there a competition?"

"Depends on whether you continue to kiss people…"

"OK. Every time I kiss someone, you kiss someone. Punishment fits the crime."

"What if you go farther than kissing?"

"Never have, never will. Never would."

Jesse walked across the room and picked up the bra by the doorway. "Wouldn't you?"

"Don't you think I'm humiliated? First he got to see me topless, and more than just see, then I'm stuck half naked in front of four people! One being my worst enemy, and three being male! Have I suffered enough yet?"

"No."

"What?"

"You should be stuck naked in front of another man."

"What?"

"Me."

"Oh, Jesse! I don't deserve—"

"Querida… stop talking. You're so much smarter when your mouth is closed."

I bit my lip trying not to talk. Then I bit his. Soon, I had fulfilled my sentence.