Title: Don't Speak
Author: DeityOfDeath
Archive: Yes please...
Pairings: Lucius/Harry
Category: Drama, romance, slash
rating: NC-17/R
Spoilers: Most likely.
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Rape, Non-con, Mpreg SPOILERS!
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Harry Potter or its chars. They are property of JK Rowling and major companies.

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!

SPOILERS AHEAD! You have been warned!

Don't Speak

Chapter 2: We used to be together

I have searched and searched. I've searched the wizarding world with every source at my disposal and I have searched the muggle world with all the sources and sources of others at my disposal and I have not found one trace of him. Between the Weasley's, the Staff at Hogwarts and even those dreadful muggles that had risen you think that we would have found at least one. It has been a hard eight months.

You would think that I of all people would be among the last to search for the Potter boy but the truth is I have cared for him for a while now. I covered my lust with hatred and the words of affection within words of malice and cruelty. When I had first met him I was lured in by those messy ebony locks and those piercing Emerald eyes. He reeked of defiance and cockiness and yet those who know him will tell you he is the total opposite. The young boy I knew has grown into a man and my lust has grown into much more.

I had never been a righteous man or one who was known to fight on the side of good. Everyone knows I was quite the opposite. It was a child of light that had undone me. When Voldemort had him trapped under the scythe of the angel statue above his fathers grave I felt my heart stop. When he was freed and fought the dark lord I was more than a little surprised and relieved when he escaped. In his fifth year when he lost his godfather and he lost that child like innocence I felt as though I could weep because I could no longer intrude upon those rare and beautiful smiles and make him frown or glare at me with fire and spark in those emerald depths.

It wasn't until my own son was due to join our ranks that I realized what Dumbledore and the others were fighting for. My stupidity along with my wives had drug my son into this dark society with its bloody path and when he was given the mission to kill Dumbledore I disagreed and voiced it to the point of arguing with Voldemort. It was then that I learned my worth. As I lay broken and bleeding in a cell listening to my labored and pained breath I knew that if Voldemort won this war the wizarding world would no longer be a democracy but hypocrisy with our despot lord on high council. My wife Narcissa went as far as to make a pact with my best friend Severus and put him in quite a bind. Of course Sev would protect his Godson but my wife needed more and so she became just as insane as the rest of the devils minions and she made a grave error. Sev was forced to kill the one man who had cared and trusted for him all these years and it broke something deep inside of him. Draco was no better having witnessed the true face of death that evening.

Since Draco had failed and Sev was forced to help end Dumbledore life our Lord was going to punish my son in the same fashion he had punished me and I Narcissa would not allow it. Her baby was not to be punished. The foolish woman I had married did one decent thing during her life and that was to attack the Dark Lord and alloying me to escape with my son and my best friend while being chased. We made it to Hogwarts and claimed Sanctuary and were received with a bit of hostility and yet no one threw us in Azkaban. Severus under went interrogation while many, including young Potter sat in and listened to his answers and saw the tears of regret fall down Sev's face when he told of Dumbledore and how it had come to that. We were innocent for the most part in the eyes of those in the Order of the Phoenix and yet we could not roam freely. We had become like Sirius Black, trapped in the prison known as Grimmauld Place. I was free to roam about in public because not many knew of my position in the Death Eaters but it was not safe to return to my estate because many Death Eaters knew where my home was.

It was long before my wife's dead body was discovered in Hogsmeade and speculation began to gather as to where I my son I were. Rumors of us said that we had also been killed by the Dark Lord. Some say we refused to cooperate which was close to the truth and others said that we had displeased him and others still said that we had killed Narcissa. That hurt Draco the most.

We had been included in the Order and were even allowed in on meetings since we could provide valuable information. Draco talked very little and was beginning to close himself off from the world. I tried anything I could think of to help him cope with his mothers loss and to get him to talk about it and yet he drew even more into a shell of hate and hurt. It was at this time that I noticed Harry taking an interest and when no one was around you would hear him say Hello or ask how Draco was doing and if Draco didn't answer Harry would start talking animatedly at Draco about Quidditch or something he had read or seen and Draco seemed to listen, never responding.

Draco's appetite dwindled and he grew thinner. His health began to fail and bags formed under his eyes from lack of sleep and when both Sev and I were at our wits end we overheard a conversation in the study.

Memory

"You should talk to me. It might help. Are you having nightmares? Do you blame yourself? Do you think others blame you? They don't! Stop hurting yourself, Draco. You're only hurting those who care for you."

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU KNOW! How would you know how I feel? Are you in my shoes Potter? Did you see someone die? Did you disappoint those around you? DID YOU? Do you sometimes wish you had never been born? Do you?"

Harry smiled the saddest smile I had ever seen and he knelt on the floor a few feet in front of where Draco now stood in front of the very couch he had jumped up from.

"I've lost people too. Did you know I envy you?"

I peered through the crack of the study doors and saw Draco blink down at Harry.

"You have money and a family and you're popular. I never knew my parents. I've always wondered what a mothers hug felt like, although I suppose Mrs. Weasley's count. I also wanted to know what having a father was like. I wanted relatives who cared for me and understood me and liked me even though I wasn't normal."

"But your The Great Harry Potter," said Draco exasperated.

"I'm a freak. My Aunt and Uncle have always thought so. I was locked in a cupboard under the stairs for most of my life and when I was given a real room they put bars on the windows. I finally found people who care and then I lose them, one by one. I remember watching as Cedric was killed and Sirius was lost because of me and I was there Draco. I was there when Snape killed Dumbledore. I saw his body fall over the edge. I have the nightmares and I blame myself so if you ever need a willing ear or shoulder feel free to come to me."

I heard a thump and saw Draco fall to his knees in front of Harry and I watched as Draco cried and Harry pulled him into a tight hug. They whispered and even though I didn't hear what was said I knew that if it wasn't for Harry I would have lost my son.

I had seen Draco change and to the amazement of those around us, Harry and Draco became good friends and in turn Draco gained the friendship of the Weasley's and Granger. Draco seemed to get along real well with the twins, Fred and George although I think that could be more of a disaster instead of a blessing.

I found myself thanking Harry on a day when it was just me and him alone in the kitchen and Harry amazed me by saying that he would offer an open ear to me as well, letting me know that he had known I was at the door. The boy simply smiled at me and so I began to talk to him more often which didn't go unnoticed by Severus. Although, even Severus had said the boy was warming on him when he wasn't being such an annoying smart mouthed prat. Something about one rubbed the other wrong. They might talk and be friendly but I doubt they would ever truly have a deep friendship.

Harry refused to return to his Aunt and Uncle's house and since no could make him he stayed at Grimmauld, since it was rightfully his thanks to the last will and testament of his Godfather. He did not lord it over our heads. Truthfully, he never mentioned it. Harry most likely didn't think very fondly of Grimmauld since it had been like a prison for his Godfather and yet he stayed.

He tried not to be a nuisance and most of the time he either stayed in his room, talked with Draco or stayed in the Study reading or practicing new spells. Sometimes we would be in the same room and I would catch him starring and if I looked up or raised an eyebrow in his direction he would blush furiously and quickly look away. Soon we started talking more and with the absence of others and just Severus, myself and Draco in the house with him I discovered what he was truly like. We would talk about anything and everything and often when we ran out of news or if we had reached an uncomfortable conversation about our pasts or something personal or close to it, he would tell us about the muggle world.

One night when Severus and my son had gone to bed we stayed up and discussed our favorite books and stories and he had found an interesting poem and insisted on sharing it. He sat close upon his knees and held the book open so that I could read it aloud and when I had finished doing so I looked up and found him looking at my lips. Upon being caught he became flustered and went to move away and instead fumbled in the plush cushions and fell forward and into my lap. He blushed and struggled and I found myself trying to force down the growing erection that his moving in my lap had caused. When he had finally righted himself and went to lift his head our faces were too close and his lips brushed mine and for a moment it seemed as if time had stopped. He had pulled away suddenly and was about to run away when I reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him back down into a sitting position in my lap. He lifted his beet red face to look up at me in a questioning manner and in a bold move I placed my lips atop his.

He froze and as if he realized my intent he moved his lips and began to reciprocate. A simple accidental kiss had become a series of very passionate kisses and had ended with Harry's first French kiss. We moved slow and made sure not to make any moves in front of Sev or Draco and as our love grew so did our lust. On a night when Draco and Sev had gone to visit the Hogwarts in search of some item of importance and on that day our kisses became more. One thing leads to another and we had ended up in Harry's bedroom and I had taken Harry's virginity.

Soon his first became his second and third and before we knew it we were desperate for each others touch. We would sneak kisses in the hallway or hold hands under the table. We thought it was all over when we were both approached by Severus and Draco and both told us to make it official and be done with it. So upon Harry's 18th Birthday I gave Harry a ring and Harry and I told the others. We were offered blessings and it was in September that Harry told me he had to return to his muggle home to retrieve an item or two.

We had kissed on that day before I watched him walk out of that door, my last view being of his smiling face as he turned around and waved happily.

It is now May and I am afraid that I will never see him again. I can only imagine what has happened to him and with each day I lose more hope. If he was captured then why haven't we heard something? Voldemort would make it known that he had captured Harry. Severus and I had felt our dark marks flare a few times and we had even taken a few people with us when we went to investigate but there was no one at Riddle Mansion and no one had heard any mention of Death Eater activity or of a hide out.

Where is my Harry?

I sat down on the couch and closed my eyes. I had visited the Ministry and re-established that I was alive seven months ago, hoping that I could use their sources to search for Harry but nothing had come of it. I was called in every so often to help them with paper work or in decision making which in turn helped the Order. I had become a valuable asset and for once I didn't mind.

Today was one of those days when I had been called and it surprised me to hear that there was once again Death Eater activity. Something must have stirred up the snakes nest. I had stayed there for seven hours and now that I was home at Grimmauld I felt like I wanted to be back at the Ministry. Sev had gone to Hogwarts again to help Minerva maintain the place and Draco had once again gone to the Weasley's to be with Ginny. The two made quite the couple and I had no objections.

"Lucius!"

I startled at the desperate voice of Minerva McGonagall and was even more surprised to see her face in the fire place.

"We need you here immediately! Harry was found!"

I jumped up and ran towards the fire place, "Is he okay? Is he alive?"

"He's as well as to be expected. Use the floo network. It'll take you to Poppy's office."

Her face disappeared and I reached above the fire place and took down a round copper tin and popped open the tin and reached in grabbing a handful of the floo powder. I dropped the tin on the floor and stepped into the fire place calling out, "Hogwarts, Wellness clinic office!"

To Be Continued...

I LOVE the song "Don't Speak" by No Doubt. The chapter titles are actually the lyrics to the song.

Enjoy!