Title: Don't Speak
Author: DeityOfDeath
Archive: Yes please...
Pairings: Lucius/Harry
Category: Drama, romance, slash
rating: NC-17/R
Spoilers: Most likely.
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Rape, Non-con, Mpreg SPOILERS!
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Harry Potter or its chars. They are property of JK Rowling and major companies.

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!

SPOILERS AHEAD! You have been warned!

Don't Speak

Chapter 7: And if it's real, well I don't want to know

"Oh...I think my waters just broke."

"I'm sorry! Oh Merlin! I should have waited with the others," said Sirius looking panicked.

"It wasn't you Siri. I've been having contractions for about four days now. I think the family reunion just gave my child a good excuse to crash the party."

I felt a pair of arms go under my underarms and lift me up. I knew those large hands. I turned my head and looked into the familiar eyes of my love, Lucius Malfoy.

"Lucius..."

I fell back against his chest and when he let go of me I turned around and wrapped my arms around his chest and struggled to get as close to him as my swollen stomach would allow.

"Lucius...Lucius..."

I felt so weak for burying myself in his arms and allowing the tears to escape freely down my cheeks. I needed him now and I had needed and wanted him then, when I lay locked away in the dank and dark dungeons somewhere in the middle of nowhere with rats, roaches, spiders and Death Eaters as companions.

Everyday was a living hell and when the morning sickness had started I thought that I had contracted some sexually transmitted disease from the constant rapes from various people working below Voldemort. When it hadn't stopped and I began to gain weight I feared it was something worse. I thought it a curse or someone trying to poison me with some unknown poison. The Death Eaters had noticed it as well and they had told Voldemort who insisted on having a med wizard give me an exam.

During that exam I discovered three things. 1. Wizards could conceive. 2. Some wizards who could conceive were hermaphroditic in nature and 3. I was pregnant and hermaphroditic. Voldemort was very happy at first until he discovered that the child I carried was too far along to be his or any of his death eaters. He talked of giving me a potion to cause a miscarriage or worse so I cried and told the biggest lie I could think up. I had told him that the child I carried was the result of a rape. I had told him that I had been taken forcefully when living with my Aunt and Uncle over summer holiday and that I had no idea who the person was. Voldemort's fury turned to joy and decided that it was best to make me carry my "painful" reminder to term and be forced to care for my rapists offspring.

He was cruel and vicious but he knew very little about me and my way of thinking. Even if the child had been the offspring of a rapist I would love him or her unconditionally. That is why the light shall always win. Love. Love is the key to Voldemorts down fall.

I knew my Childs parentage as soon as I was told I was two weeks over the time I had arrived at the hell hole they called home. I would let no harm befall mine and Lucius' child. It was a child created from our love and trust and like my mother; I would do anything to see that my child would live. I had never known my mother and father but their part of me in every way. The very fact that I'm still living is because of them.

I pushed slightly away to look up into those gorgeous storm gray eyes and saw that they looked watery as if he were about to cry and then a lone tear slid from his right eye surprising those around us, but not me. I had seen my Lucius cry before and I knew the taste, feel and look of his tears. I love his tears. I love them because it proves to all those around us that "my" Lucius Malfoy is not the unfeeling man that everyone makes him out to be or that he pretends to be on a daily basis.

I lifted my right hand and placed it on his face, wiping away the lone tear. He smiled then and leaned down placing his lips over mine in the softest of kisses that grew on a bit more aggressive before his lips regrettably left mine.

"I have missed you. I searched and had others search for months and a few still were when I had received word of your return," he said with the smallest hint of sorrow.

"I'm sorry. I thought of you the whole time I was locked away in Voldemort's dungeons and besides our child that was the only thing that gave me the strength to carry on."

I saw a small smile grace his features and light those dark stormy eyes and then another contraction ripped me from my thoughts and stopping the joyous reunion with my beloved Lucius. I grabbed fistfuls of his robe and fought to breath through the pain that seemed to have doubled since the breaking of my waters.

"Come Lucius, pick him up and carry him into the room or he'll drop the babe here in the hallway," said Poppy from somewhere beside us.

I felt the movement of Lucius nodding his head and then I was lifted up bridal style into Lucius arms. I swayed in his arms as he walked and I nearly cried with joy when the contraction ended. I lay there in Lucius' arms gasping, which wasn't a first time thing, except for past times I hadn't been in pain. That small memory gave me a smile as I was being laid upon a soft mattress. I watched as Poppy pushed Sirius and Remus out of the curtained off area and then she turned to look at Lucius.

"I hate to ask you...but could you please give us five minutes so that I can prepare Harry as well as do a quick check up?"

Lucius nodded and leaned over moving my sweat soaked bangs from my forehead and then leaned down and placed a kiss on my scar and moved lower to place one on my nose and then finally my lips, "I shall be waiting with baited breath."

I nodded and watched him go. No sooner had he walked through the curtain that another contraction hit. I took deep breaths and focused on a spot on the wall. While I breathed through the contraction I felt Poppy remove my pajama bottoms and top and felt them replaced with a thin hospital gown. The contraction ended and I felt her take my pulse and listen to my heart. She took my blood pressure and from her expression it didn't look good.

I closed my eyes and put on my best smile, "I know that look Poppy, whatever happens I want you to make this child your priority. I need you to promise me that."

She looked taken aback by my words as well as scandalized and I felt bad and I began to wonder if I should take back those words.

"I'll not have any of my patients talking like that Mr. Potter. Or is it Mr. Malfoy now?"

"It'll be Potter and Lucius will still be a Malfoy. I want him to have an heir but I also want a child to carry on the Potter blood and name. If I live through this..."

"NO IF'S POTTER! I will not watch Lucius morn again and I refuse to be a mourner at your funeral anytime soon. You'll be standing at my grave before I ever stand at yours!"

I smiled and watched as she pulled up a stool and wheels and crouched between my now blanket covered thighs. She pulled my legs apart and I felt her prod and poke and heard a surprised gasp.

"You're fully dilated and the child is nearly crowning! On the next contraction you start pushing!"

I wasn't going to argue with that. Sounded like a plan to me. She stood up and hurried around the room using her wand to magic things closer to the bed. There stood a waiting basinet, towels, and other things I didn't know the name or use for.

"Lucius! Get in here now! Your about to be a father again!"

I was surprised to watch the curtains fly out of the way as Lucius stormed in and pulled up a chair in the only free space available, which happened to be right beside me on my right side. He took my hand in his and rubbed his thumb over my knuckles softly. I smiled and squeezed his hand reassuringly. I saw two heads poke through the curtain and I chuckled.

"Come on in you two. Might as well have the Godfather's here to witness the birth."

"What about Severus," asked Lucius?

"He's a Godfather as well but I refuse to let him see my nether parts," I said trying not to blush at the very thought.

"Point made."

I felt a pressure building and then my stomach grew taut as another pain laced through my back and in places I hadn't known existed.

"Push Harry! That's it! You've got it. One, two, three...good."

I fell back into the pillows gasping and swearing Mother Nature. It was then I noticed someone in the room was snickering. I looked up at my Godfather and noticed his happy smiling face and heard him cough to hide the evidence of his snickering. Remus looked as though he were about to laugh as well but he evidentially had better control. I would have asked what they found so amusing but another contraction hit full force and I screamed with pain and frustration and bore down with all I had. I concentrated so hard and squeezed whatever was in my hand as hard as I could and was slightly pleased to hear and feel something give and crack under the pressure.

I lay back once it had ended and gasped looking this time at the now horrified faces of Remus and Sirius. I saw them starring past me and curiosity caused me to look.

I turned and saw Lucius biting his lip and trying not to cry out in pain as he stared down. I followed his line of vision and saw his left hand in my right and yet it wasn't making any sense. Why had the others been laughing? Why did they now look horrified instead of amused? Then I remembered the cracking sound and the feeling of something breaking in my grasp. I looked down at my hand which was tightly gripping his and realization dawned on me like bricks falling on my head.

"SWEET MERLIN! Why didn't you say anything Lucius?"

"I couldn't get a breath in to say anything, and you needed something to squeeze."

I looked at him and slowly released his hand, "I am so. Sorry. Oh, Merlin! I think I broke a bone in your hand!"

"A bone? Try five! I could hear the cracking sounds from over here," said Sirius trying not to laugh.

"Looks like we'll have to mend that. I'll go floo Severus. It looks like I overestimated this Childs arrival. Your ready but this child is taking its time. Perhaps since this'll take a while we might be able to have Severus make and give you a potion for the pain."

I would have glared at Poppy if another contraction hadn't taken my anger away and replaced it with pain. I pushed and bore down wondering why this child wanted to go slow when I wanted it over and done with. I was tired and in pain, not just from the labor and contractions but mostly from my many bruises and other injuries. I was hungry and weak and all I wanted was to have this child with no risk of leaving Lucius a widow. I wanted to hold the little one, who had used my ribs as monkey bars, my bladder as a water bed and inside my body as a kick boxing ring. I wanted to hold the little person who had kept me company all that time, during all those moments when I lost my will to live or to keep hoping and searching for a way out.

The contraction ended and I saw Poppy enter the room curtained off area with Severus in tow. So much for the "Severus not seeing my nether regions" thought. My legs were open and everything was on display. I was kind of past the point of caring at this particular moment in time but part of me would want to hide from Severus for a few days afterward.

I watched as he set a leather bag down on a nearby table and began to fumble through it while Poppy chattered off my medical condition in his ear. At one moment he stopped and turned to look at her with eyes raised in surprise and whispered something harshly. Her eyes widened and then they both turned to look at me. Oh, that can't be a good sign. I felt another contraction grip my body and I screamed in pain this time. Something wasn't right. It didn't "feel" like the other contractions. Something was wrong and I could feel it down to my very core. I pushed as hard as I could and felt a burning sensation that I hadn't felt before. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. I felt tears bubbling over and pouring down my cheeks as I struggled to push my child out. I needed them out and now. Something was wrong.

"Stop pushing Harry," yelled a panicked Poppy.

"Can't! Something's wrong. I have to get it out. I need to push!"

"Remus, Sirius I need you to hold him down and keep him from pushing. Severus I need your help!"

I felt arms clamp down over mine and heard the voices of Remus, Lucius and Sirius whispering comforting words. Below me I could hear Poppy and Severus talking fast and worriedly as they worked between my legs. Above all the noise a cry echoed in my head, the cry of a distressed baby. I struggled. I need to do something, they need to do something. I can't lose this child! I refuse to lose this child! There is has been too much death! I felt that tearing pain again and I felt hands push harshly inside of me and I struggled and tried to breath through the pain.

"He's loosing blood Poppy! We need to do this quickly. His hips are too small to bear the weight and pressure for much longer."

I struggled in those strong arms holding me and back as contraction after contraction continued to tear through my body and fought the screams that I wanted so badly to let loose. I felt the hands leave and wanted so bad to push through the contraction that was descending over my body now.

"The cords no longer wrapped around the child's neck but we still have the problem of his hips," Severus said to Poppy.

"We're going to have to help him push this child out and hope that he can survive it. We have no other options. Neither of us knows how to perform a Cesarean section and he's too far gone for that now anyway. Let his arms go boys."

I felt me arms being let go and I struggled to keep my eyes open as I pushed. There was no end to the contractions now. It felt like they were just beginning to become one endless bout of pain and pressure.

I bore down and struggled to push this child out. I felt tired and light headed and I felt cold. It was a struggle to keep my eyes open and I fought with everything left in me to do just that.

"Good Harry, good. The heads nearly out."

I heard Poppy's voice but I could no longer tell where it was coming from. I pushed again and felt something rip inside of me. I felt a gush of liquid between my legs that was warm compared to my chilling body. I continued to push and then the pressure was lessened. I felt something being pulled out of my body and with it the pressure was gone. I closed my eyes and waited for the some sign that my child was alive.

Nothing...There was nothing but silence. The silenced filled with hushed counts and the sounds of someone pumping something. I heard the hushed counting again and then the sound of someone blowing into something and then the counting again.

Why weren't there any cries? Was my child dead? Had I failed my new born son or daughter? I felt colder and I fought to keep my eyes open. My child wasn't crying and no one had made any sounds of happy rejoicing. My child was dead. Could I live in a world without my child? Could I live knowing I couldn't bring a live child into the world? I felt my breath hitch and then the cold settled in my chest. I felt a darkness fall over me and I let it.

To Be Continued...

WoW! Took my 3 days to write this. I've been working on it every chance I get.

What's sad is I am now working on 3 more HP fics. One will be from Sev's POV and one from Harry's son's POV.

Kat