Nope: haven't forgotten. Yes: still plan to finish. The lines from the episode "Time Stands Still Pt. 1" I don't own. ~Elle Winnie :)

XXXVII. The Morning I Died

WHACK-YOUR-BRAIN FINALS DAY

Rick Murray

"Awesome job, all of you!" Simpson high fives the four of us on the team as the show pauses for a short break.

"Be back in the gym in seven minutes!" The director, a short woman who cued us on earlier, shouts in the entire room. Everyone has risen from their seats and are chattering excitedly. I look around and see large smiles on everyone's faces as they discuss this, that and the third with their friends.

Someone beside me slaps my shoulder lightly as a friendly gesture, and I turn to my right to see Jimmy standing there. "You're showing everybody out, man." He says, and he, too, appears excited. "That was tight, Rick. You could be on Jeopardy with everything you know."

His praise is only lifting my confidence. "Well, I wouldn't go that far." The two of us simultaneously hop off the stage.

"I would!" Simpson declares. "You did excellent work, Rick. I'm so proud of you. You're gonna nail the Lightning Round: I know it."

I nod. "Thank you, sir."

Simpson chuckles at this. "Rick, you're one of few kids I know who call me 'sir'. You know you can use Snake if you want. That or Simpson. Just not sir."

"Snake doesn't like to think he's old." Jimmy leans over to pretend like he's whispering in my ear, though Simpson can hear him.

I grin as our teacher pretends to be offended by Jimmy's remark. He crosses his arms and pretends to gasp. "It just happens that I'm not old. Anyone who thinks so from this day forward will get two-percent knocked off their final grade."

"It won't be me, Snake." I wink.

"Atta boy. You'll get a two-percent increase." Simpson winks back. "Go take a break. Get a drink while you have a few minutes."

"Yes, sir—uh, Snake." I say.

"We'll work on that." Simpson walks over towards staff standing at the back of the room.

I glance around the gym a second time. More than half of the students have left the room, leaving a few students, and a lot of teachers, standing around mingling. In the very back of the room I notice Ms. Hatzilakos talking to Vivian, who's nodding attentively at everything she's saying. Vivian's wearing her raven hair straight, and it's long and thick as it hangs past her shoulders, down to her chest. At every nod her hair bounces, and I shake my head and turn away from her.

Speaking of which, where's Emma? She's no where to be found in the gym. Man, she disappeared. I want to thank her again, maybe ask her to have lunch together after the quiz bowl is over. Win or lose, we'll be seeing a lot of each other today and be the talk of Degrassi. Oh, well. We'll be back on shortly. I'll be seeing her real soon.

Vivian Graham

"You'll be fine with the new material." Ms. Hatzilakos tells me. "You're a sharp student, so you'll catch on quickly."

As the game show takes a temporary break, my chemistry teacher fills me in on the material that I missed when I went to the nurse. Although it was a while ago, I neglected to get around to her about the material covered that day—until I realized today that we have a test in her class on Monday.

"Good to know." I reply. "I can work on it over lunch break and ask questions about it in class later today."

"As you should." She replies. "Don't wait. How's that walkie-talkie holding up?"

"Good." I reply.

"Good to hear." She says this time. "I won't hold you back from your break. If you want I can take over your shift when we're back on air. The camera crew will need help tearing down."

"Thank you, Ms. Hatzilakos, but I think I'll be fine standing here for the remainder of the game. It won't be long now."

She smirks at me. "Wanna see if your classmates are going to win?"

I grin. "Uh...something like that."

She laughs at this. "I understand, Vivian. You've been rooting them on this entire time. Naturally you wanna see it through. Very well. I'll initiate the tear-down crew." She pretends to be exasperated as she sighs and walks away.

I look around the gym. It's half-empty since there's only a short break before the show airs again, and thankfully everything ran smoothly, so I could, more than anything, just stand back and enjoy the game show. The contestants from either school, likewise, are nowhere to be seen. Guess I should take a bathroom break too.

I make an exit from the doors across from me, the double-doors at the back of the gym leading straight into the cafeteria. Usually there are restrooms in here. As soon as I enter, I'm shocked to see only a few people in the cafeteria standing around mingling. I guess everyone else took the other exit.

As I enter the women's restroom, I find Emma washing her hands at one of the small, white sinks. "Nice work out there, Emma." I greet her.

"Thanks." She replies while cranking out a paper towel from the machine. "I'm surprised we did so well considering Jimmy joined last minute."

"Nothing like a little pressure to get your blood pumping." I chuckle.

Emma chuckles as well. "Do you...have a minute? I want to talk to you about something."

"Yeah. I'm all ears." I reply, my curiosity on the rise.

"It's about...," Emma hesitates, "...Rick."

I arch an eyebrow. "What about him?"

"I know: it's a strange question, but..." again hesitation, "...are you guys", she rolls her head back, "seeing each other?"

I shake my head. "No. Why do you ask?"

Emma sighs and scrunches her shoulders inward. "Thought I'd give it a shot."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Back on stage." Emma shakes her head rapidly like she's ridding her thoughts of a nightmare. "And outside before the show got started. Rick's been acting a little...strange. Like squeezing my hand and saying something like 'when you speak, I listen' or something like that." She does a melodramatic Rick impersonation.

I laugh aloud—uncomfortably might I add. He said the same thing to me. "You think he's into you?"

"Why would he think that?" Emma moans and rolls her head and eyes back. "I'm just being nice to—oh, no."

"What?" I cross my arms, squinting.

Emma pauses, her eyes in a different time. "I kissed him once."

"Huh? When?" I raise my voice, incredulous. "I never knew you had a thing for him!"

"I never did!" Emma exclaims. "Just he and Toby were playing this stupid kissing game, and Toby wanted to win, so I kissed him, but then he went blabbing to Rick, so I kissed Rick, on the cheek, so he wouldn't feel left out. That and nothing else."

"Oh that game?" I laugh again. "Yeah Toby told me about that. Well...I mean there only a few girls that are nice to Rick. And I think it's just you and me. Literally."

"If that's the case, then why isn't he IN LOVE with you?" Emma widens her eyes. "I can't imagine what he must think of you. You're way too nice for high school."

I roll my eyes playfully. "Thanks? About Rick and I: tried it once, didn't go over well."

"What? Was he too clingy?" Emma asks.

"Clingy is one word for it." I reply.

Emma cringes. "Eeek. I won't ask. Sorry."

"It's nothing for you to be sorry about." I say. "Is it bothering you? Do you want him to leave you alone?"

"I just figure if I don't say anything, or ignore him, he'll get the message." Emma replies.

I nod. "Okay. Let me know if you need someone to knock some sense into him." Let's just hope that hint is in Rick's massive vocabulary.

Rick Murray

"So let me ask you a question." Jimmy walks towards me in the restroom. "How did you become such an encyclopedia?"

"I read a lot." He's not the first person impressed by my extensive knowledge. "I have a lot of time to myself."

Jimmy nods awkwardly. He could translate what I meant. I'm basically friendless.

I avert the subject. "I, uh, thought sports was your territory?"

"Yeah about that." Jimmy says. "I had a brain cramp."

I laugh in turn.

"And anyways," Jimmy continues, "golf is not a sport."

We both exchange a laugh as we head to the door of the restroom.

Then simultaneously walks in the destructive duo: Jay and Spinner.

They appear to be engaged in whatever juicy gossip before they face us—mainly me.

"Hey, man." Spinner says with a maniacal grin on his face. "That was so sweet." He remarks my performance in the quiz bowl. "You're like a know-it-all trivia machine."

"The competition is money in the bank with my boy right here." Jimmy adds, patting my shoulder.

"Nice." Jay chimes in. "Are you doing the Lightning Round, buddy?"

To think just the day before all of these guys wanted to dispose of me like trash. "Affirmative." I say, and I find myself smiling at them.

"It's probably better him than me, right?" Jimmy says, walking past Jay and Spinner by forcing a path between them.

I attempt to do the same, knowing good and well that these idiots were putting up an act in front of Jimmy, but they close in tight, barricading the only way out.

I pause. Here we go. This one's gonna be hard to explain to Snake.

"We're cool, man." Jay says after a few seconds of stone silence.

His words, however astonishing they were, slice the ice cold tension in the air like a sword. Awkwardly I smile at the two before walking through the newly formed path they created. I feel a sense of relief as I grab the handle and open the door. One of the two even pats my back before I leave for good. I'm only in the process of winning Whack-Your-Brain, and already my worst enemies are coming around to be allies. I can't help but think about what would happen if I win the entire thing. When I win the entire thing.

Vivian Graham

Since Emma told me about Rick's recent behavior, I've been her unofficial body guard. I watch Emma casually move over towards Snake and have a conversation with him just as Rick is entering the gymnasium. Smooth, Emma. I think to myself. Rick, I notice, becomes side-swiped with Toby, so now the both of them are distracted by conversation.

"Howdy, partner." A hand rests on my shoulder.

Quickly I cast my head around to see Queenie grinning at me. She's wearing her usual blue hat with pink hearts on it along with a light-blue long-sleeved shirt with blue jeans.

"Hey, Woody." I reply. "I thought you were in class."

"That's right. I was in class. Now I'm here. I thought I'd casually drop in after going to the restroom." She puts an arm around my shoulders. "How goes it, lass?"

"Pretty well." I nod towards the stage. "Degrassi tied with Northern Heights. So There's going to be a Lightning Round to break the tie."

"The best of the brains from both schools." Queenie also looks at the stage.

"Look I don't have a lot of time left, but I wanted to grab lunch with you."

"I was thinking the same." I nod. "I have some thoughts about what the detectives told me."

"Yeah, please feel free to tell me anything." Queenie leans her head against mine. "I'm sorry you have to go through all of that. And please stay at my place if you feel at all unsafe."

"You're so sweet." I say. "Now get back to class before you get in trouble."

"Yes, ma'am." Queenie rolls her eyes playfully as she leaves the gym, waving at me while doing so.

I walk over to my spot in the back of the gym by the double doors. Let the lightning round begin.

Rick Murray

I'm pacing back and forth as I review the knowledge in my head. Mick is good, but I'm better. I remind myself as I prepare for the consecutive questions that Joe will throw at me. I've long since expected to screw up any sports questions that will be included, which should be two at the most. Hopefully he doesn't ask me anything about gaming techniques. I don't mind being wrong, but I do mind sounding stupid.

I look up and freeze in my tracks as I see Emma talking to Vivian. Quickly I turn back around and shut my eyes, focusing on the trivia in my head again. Stay focused. Don't think about her. Think about her. Emma. Emma. She's a great girl. And wise. And confident.

"Guys, get ready. We have two minutes." Simpson approaches us.

The rest of the team is in front of the stage loitering (like Toby) or talking to their friends (like Jimmy and Emma).

"Rick." I raise my eyebrows as Vivian calls my name.

After hesitating, I walk towards her while she moves herself in front of Emma. "Hi."

"You're doing great." Vivian says. "Just wanted to tell you that."

I nod. "Thanks."

"You feelin' the pressure of winning yet?" She smiles.

"Well, not until a second ago." I adjust my glasses.

"Whoops. Sorry!" Vivian chuckles. "You'll be alright."

"You're certain about that."

"Sure am. Well, I don't wanna waste anymore of your time. You're the most important person on stage now."

Honestly I always was the most important person on stage. I think. "Right." I say to Vivian, smiling slightly before I climb on stage to take my place behind my designated podium.

Three minutes later...

The four of us watch Mick hit some questions and miss others. My heart is pounding in my chest so rapidly I can't focus on his answers. I can subconsciously tally up how many answers he has correct only because of the sound of the bell and the buzzard. My hands are slick with perspiration as I stand clutching them together. I can feel sweat underneath my armpits, and I silently curse myself. Dammit! I'm so close to being done! I lasted this long without ruining it. Then I can go home and take this oversized thing off stain free.

"The deepest place on earth!" Joe the host shouts through my thoughts as he asks Mick a question.

"The Mariana Trench!" Mick responds confidently, and the bell for time sounds.

"Time! Northern with forty points! Good job!" Joe declares as the audience applauds appropriately for the opposing team.

Forty points? That is good. I think. But beatable.

I stand up right and watch as Mick returns to his podium with his teammates. I brace myself for Joe's cue as the audience's eyes-I steal a quick glance-slowly shift toward my direction.

"Alright. Degrassi! Who's up?"

The crowd falls silent immediately, and my fellow teammates all look at me. The entire audience is looking at me. Do or die time. I may not be the most popular guy in the entire school, but I will be for a day if I win Whack-Your-Brain.

Staying as calm as possible, though jittery on the inside, I move towards the center of the stage by moving behind my teammates. I stop to whisper behind Emma.

"This is all for you." For making me feel miserable in the beginning, but coming around in the end. Emma is a true friend for showing me compassion even if she didn't see it at first.

I walk towards a patiently waiting Joe, who watches as I come over. He looks ready to roll, so I brace myself.

"There's the score you have to beat. Thirty seconds on the clock. Time begins...now."

I shut my eyes, ready for every question Joe hurls at me.

"The confederation bridge links Prince Edward Island to what Canadian Province?"

"New Brunswick."

*DING!*

"A minimum of how many games does it take to win a set in tennis?"

"Seven?"

*BUZZ* Dammit! Was I even close?

"What was the name of the original home video game console introduced in 1972?"

"Magnavox Odyssey!"

*DING!*

"Sauron reigned over what territory?"

"M...Mordor."

*DING DING!* (The audience cheers become more and more audible).

"Who spent twenty-seven years in prison before being elected President of South Africa?"

"Nelson Mandela."

*DING!* How much longer? I'm on a roll here!

"In what Robert Bolt play does Sir Thomas Moore face a moral dilemma?"

"A Man For All Seasons!"

The bell for time sounds. My eyes snap open.

"Time!" Joe shouts this with an increased amount of enthusiasm. "That's it! Fifty points! Degrassi wins!" He cries. "DEGRASSI WINS!"

Immediately the audience is screaming as they cheer. The loudest shouts come from behind me as Jimmy and the gang holler at the victory I just sealed.

Holy crap I actually did it!

Jimmy and I swing our hands together for an aggressive high five, and I turn back around to face the audience. Some people have risen from their seats as they continue to applaud. It feels like a smile is plastered to my face as I make contact with my peers in the audience. Everyone is cheering. Everyone is smiling. Holding thumbs at me as I look at one girl in particular. Another person winks at me as he claps. I'm Degrassi's hero now. I've redeemed myself. I'm the Valjean of this school. Have I mentioned that I can't stop smiling?

This is it. This is my big moment. Now my life at Degrassi will be totally different.

Then I feel something splash my head.

Petrified, I freeze as as smelly yellow substance cascades its way down my face, through my hair, and nests itself onto my father's suit. It completely masks my glasses, and it's cool and thick as it runs down the skin on my face. My head is heavy with yellow, and there's now a puddle of yellow...paint I now realize...forming at my feet.

The audience is now stone cold silent.

To complete the picture, white feathers rain down soundlessly, perpetuating the silence that seems to last for an eternity, and they delicately choose various spots to perch in my hair, on my face, on my suit all covered in yellow paint, making the feathers stick.

In the back I hear a girl cry, "Who did that?!"

But she wasn't abhorrent about it. She was hysterical.

And soon the audience is making a new noise: laughter.

Everyone—as I scan the entire room—are doubled over in their seats as they heave laughs from their diaphragms. In a matter of seconds I pluck Vivian out from the back of the room. Her wide dark eyes reflect the horror that I feel; both of her hands are covering her mouth at this moment. Everything has slowed down. My vision...I can't see clearly, and it's not because the weight of the paint is causing my glasses to hang below my eyes. I find Spinner, Jay and Alex in the audience all participating in my mockery. In my humiliation. My agony. It feels like someone dropped my stomach from a fifty story skyscraper and it crashed ghastly to the bottom of my torso.

Frozen in place, I can't force my eyes to look behind me at my teammates, whose gazes I can feel all burning into the back of me. I can't bring myself to look at even the opposing team on stage, who I can sort of make out from my peripheral vision. It's completely silent on the stage, so the toxic laughter fills my system, leeching onto my soul like the paint and feathers leech on to my suit.

The next moments are all a blur. I don't remember the events clearly. Or if they're in the right order. At some point I'm gently guided off the stage by Snake though I don't remember him climbing on stage to do so. Another moment I see faculty in the back of the room running around making a fuss over a student for a reason oblivious to me. I can hear the laughter even as I leave the room and walk out into the lobby of the school. Mr. Simpson? I don't know where he went, or if he wanted to talk to me later on. I don't know anything. I don't know what's going on. Why everything happened? What's the substance of all of this? What I did to deserve this...to be PUBLICLY HUMILIATED in front of the ENTIRE school? On camera? I don't understand it. Who? Why? Why would someone want to take this moment, that I worked so hard for, away from me? Why? What did I do? I was trying to win and now I look like a chicken and the students don't care they were just cheering me on one minute and laughing at me the next and I'm not that evil so why would someone do this.

"Rick!"

My run-on sentences for thoughts suddenly cease: Emma.

"Rick!" I hear rapid footsteps approaching me from behind.

Miraculously I snap back to the present, but I keep walking. Even Emma can't console me at this moment.

"Rick, what happened...it only makes the people who did it look totally juvenile." She says.

Slowly I turn around to face her, and to my surprise she's a lot closer to me than I thought. "They ruined it, Emma." I say to her. "They're life ruiners. Everyone laughing." I turn back around.

"But nobody's ever going to forget who won." Emma continues in a smooth, gentle voice.

I face her a second time.

"Who is the smartest guy in the school and the whole city!" She finishes.

I pause for a second and just stare at her. Emma. She does care! How have I been so blind not to notice? The kiss she gave me just a week ago; her willpower strong enough to pursue me outside of the gym even as ugly of a job that paint and feathers has done to me.

She stares back at me with the softest, glossiest hazel eyes I've ever seen. Hazel like my eyes. But prettier.

I take full advantage of this moment. Holding either sides of her face with both of my hands, I lean in and kiss Emma on the mouth.

Her response is counter-intuitive: I feel her jerking backwards, away from my touch. Soon I no longer feel her lips against mine. "RICK! What are you doing?! Let go!" She yanks her arm out of my grasp as I attempt to hold on to her.

It feels at though the inside of my face is on fire. "I...I thought you loved me." I say, even more perplexed than before.

Emma scoffs. "I felt sorry for you! I pitied you. Get a clue!" She forcefully shoves a gold trophy into my grasp before backing away from me. Some of the paint from my suit has stained her white jacket, and she fatally attempts to wipe it away, as if she's wiping the presence of me off her person. Finally she runs off, leaving me totally alone in the hall.

I stare down at the floor. The place where my life has crashed into. Go home, Rick.

For once I don't object to my inner conscience. I go home.*

I was going for the metaphor, aka, the killing of the soul. Sorry: I wasn't going to kill Rick. Am I ever? Will this story ever end? Just keep reading. :)