-๑-๑ ஜ ๑- Chapter 15: You´re warm -๑ ஜ ๑-๑-
-Shizuo´s point of view.-
"Now?," the question spilling from Shizu-chan´s lips wasn't a question per se, it was more of a statement, a scolding, wording something along the lines of hell no, to Izaya's ears.
A deep frown was all that crossed the raven´s expression however as his lips moved once more.
"Shizu-chan we are in the middle of the enemies territory what do you think will happen if we-"
"You aren't moving," Shizu-chan instantly threw in, seemingly not even bothering to wait and listen to what Izaya had to say. "I will lure them away myself if necessary but you aren't moving, I'm not Shinra but I'm pretty damn sure you aren't well enough to move around."
His head still leaning onto the blond´s shoulder Izaya could feel his chest vibrate softly with every word the blond spoke. The way he spoke, so confident, Izaya didn't doubt Shizu-chan actually believed what he was saying. And yet-
"Trying to order your superior around?" he questioned, the frown on his forehead only deepening at the ridiculous things the man was spouting.
"Push me off if you can flea."
Tch- a dumb request from a dumb brute.
It was useless to even start and try, he knew he could never compete with the blond in terms of strength. And Shizu-chan knew that too which only made this discussion seem more and more childish.
"Being stubborn can kill you," the raven hissed.
"Being reckless too."
Annoyance was making itself noticeable even in the midst of being tortured by his own body as the raven left out an exasperated sigh.
"So what's your plan? Wanna wait for titans to come and eat us?" Because that's what was going to happen if they kept staying in one place- having lost as much blood as this, and having it trail to the tree like allure it would be a matter of time until one of the higher class titan´s had found them.
"Are you even aware of the state you are in?" Shizu-chan questioned instead obviously not cindering any of these very serious factors as his mind seemed to be set on the thought of having izaya lay down and rest.
Stupid.
"Don't answer my question with another question," Izaya mumbled, feeling his own voice falter towards the end of his sentence. Not because he wasn't convinced or something- it was just the air itself, the simple task of breathing that seemed to be just so exhausting. Using the precious air he filled his lungs with to argue was tiring beyond belief.
Fuck- what were they supposed to do?
He had hoped some of the recruiters might be left- just one, one would suffice. They could have called him from up in the trees, ordered him to get help, maybe he would have had some of the flare guns still and would have been able to give some sort of signal.
But by now- even if there had been someone left, they had to be gone already by now. Of course, who would voluntarily stay within the titan´s forest if they could flee back to the wall? A wall that was still in sight even.
If the titans came now he couldn't even do something as simple as run. Not with his body like this- when he was this dizzy and despairingly weak.
"Says the one that´s avoiding mine!" Shizuo barked, the way too familiar feeling of anger surging through his veins as the flea just kept pissing him off.
He had pulled him out of that titan, he was hurt beyond belief- and what did he want to do? Run around?!
Shizuo was pissed off- and yet pushing the flea off his shoulder to face that stubborn louse head on caused the rage to dissipate instantly.
His eyes were closed, his face still just as pale as it had been ever since he pulled him out of that stomach and that pained frown settled on his forehead didn't seem like it intended to fuck off anytime soon either.
Fuck.
What was he even doing? Arguing when Izaya was suffering this badly.
Feeling the glare soften the blond´s grip on the flea loosened, turned into a more gentle one.
"Are you okay?" It wasn't that Izaya's attitude pissed him off, or his plans- it was how he was still trying to solve everything despite already being beaten like this- Shizuo was annoyed at himself for not being reliable enough for the flea to just leave this shit to him and rest.
"Just cold, dizzy" the raven mumbled with trembling lips and suddenly his hand moved again, pushing softly at the blond´s chest.
"Hey-" again the all too familiar frown appearen on Shizu-chan´s expression. To be honest it amused the raven, even in a dreadful situation like this.
"Leave."
Confused the blond blinked, looked at the hand softly pushing at his chest, then at the raven.
"What?" His mind was refusing to get what the flea was talking about. But Izaya gladly helped him realize as he spoke slowly.
"I can´t walk Shizu-chan and you can't use the gear to go and get help. How do you expect us to go back?" His eyes were glassy, missing that sharp crimson gleam Shizuo was used to see as he understood what the raven was trying to tell him.
Gritting his teeth the frown on his forehead only grew deeper though.
"Simple, I will just carry you," he announced, refusing to accept the conclusion the raven had come to.
A blink followed, one of astonishment perhaps as a sigh left the raven´s lips.
"... are you crazy?" it was a quiet question, sounded as though it wasn't even supposed to reach Shizuo´s ears. "Could have left me down there too if you were going to present us like treats for the titans."
"I'm not," Shizuo interrupted the raven, his head turning to the right as he looked back into the direction they had come from. "I can see the wall from here, it's not that difficult," he announced, and really. He could actually see the wall. White and even it was standing at the horizon, their home. And yet, even while saying the words Shizuo already noticed how incredibly easy he made this sound, even to his own ears. And Izaya noticed it too, the terribly weak arguments Shizuo was using.
"I'm grateful you pulled me out of that titan, don't get me wrong, I get to die peaceful now," Izaya announced, causing the feeling of dread assaulting Shizuo´s mind to increase tenfold. The words don't sound like a sign of gratitude- they sounded like a sort of final goodbye from the flea.
"You won't die!" he barked, but his arguments were getting weaker and weaker. Even if they made it to that wall, he had no idea whether Izaya was going to hold up until then or not.
"Don't be stupid protozoan," Izaya hissed, a glare settled on his pained expression,
"Leave, as you said the wall isn't too far, maybe you can do it. Alone." he hissed, hostile maybe- but it seemed that was needed.
Because Izaya had already come to terms with it.
With his death that is.
He had been on so many missions, seen so many people die- every single time he was outside the walls, he was prepared to die. And the more deaths he witnessed, the clearer the image became.
He was ready to face his end. He had seen it coming for so long, every single human inside this wall was scared, was trying to survive, trying to just not die- while Izaya was getting ready to die every single day.
But Shizu-chan wasn´t. Even if they were fucking with him, letting his brother dangle in front of his nose like a treat Shizu-chan at least had something to live for.
"The hell I will," and yet the brute just didn't seem like he was going to listen to him. Not even once.
Feeling a wave of dizziness wash across his mind it took the raven a moment to both grasp the meaning of Shizu-chan´s words, and notice the hands that were suddenly fumbling with the belts of his maneuver gear.
"What are you doing?" he frowned as the blond pulled at the brown leather straps, unbuckled them and pulled them towards his own gear.
"Tying them together, can't risk you falling off if you pass out on me," he announced while connecting one of the straps with his own belts.
For better or worse at least the flea wasn't able to resist his doings.
"You plan to carry me?" the raven questioned, but this tiny Shizuo wasn't going to even start and argue with the flea.
"Can you hold up?" he questioned instead- having the flea in this state he was reluctant to let go of his shoulders. He was afraid he might just fall over and down the tree.
"That's not the question Shizu-chan," Izaya sighed.
"I'm not going to leave without you, so can you, or can you not?"
It wasn't a question, it was an order- or at least it felt like one. Shizu-chan was not going to budge about his decision.
His words were carrying strength.
Being like this, Izaya´s body not following his commands, life slowly leaking from how numerous wounds-... Izaya was always in control, always knew what to do next, being rendered immobile like this should scare the hell out of him, and to a certain degree it did, and yet… instead he found himself actually relying on that brute.
Trusting him.
A soft, maybe pained, but it was a smile nonetheless, spread across his lips as he decided to give up control. At least for once- for the last.
He was tired of holding up. If this was really going to be his end then for once, at least for this small amount of time left, he wanted to just quit wrecking his head.
He was going to die either way, being left by the blond or going with him, this would at least prove to be the less lonely option to part from this world.
Frowning deeply his hands braced themselves against the wood- it was terrifying how weak he had become as a simple task like this proved to rob him of all the energy he had left.
"Can," he responded weakly, but the blond was already moving anyway. Turning around it was his back Izaya saw next, hands tugging on the belts and that blond hair as he let himself thud against Shizu-chan.
Fumbling and cursing here and there Izaya could feel the gear that was supposed to help him move around, pull him tightly to the blond.
Hands were slid down to Izaya's thighs before a soft warning left the blond´s lips. "This could hurt now-" and it really did- getting up the raven's legs were suddenly dangling freely, causing the flea to grit his teeth and dig his nails into the blond´s shoulders.
It was worrying, making a feeling of guilt raise within the blond. But the thing that worried him the most was how the flea was holding his breath.
"Breathe," he ordered softly, feeling as though there was a need to remind the flea of something simple like this.
He felt so cold against his back- except for one spot, the spot where Izaya's waist connected with the blond. Hot warmth was seeping from where the raven had been cut and Shizuo was only left to beg and pray that it would stop bleeding soon.
With a disturbingly loud noise, at least to Shizuo´s ears the silver peak of the iron wire was embedding itself into the wood of the tree´s stem.
Turning around the blond was facing the tree- one arm was kept secure around one of the flea´s thighs at least while the other was holding onto the metal wire.
A step was taken, bracing himself against the tree the blond was descending it, slowly but surely. He didn't want to hurt the flea any more than he already did- and while going fast or simply jumping down the distance was going to be faster it was definitely going to be more painful as well.
Turning his head the blond looked around, left and right, praying that no titan was going to stumble across them- he knew their chances were slim, meeting not a single titan until they reached the wall sounded like the end of a fairy tale, he knew as much, and still he hoped they were just that lucky.
"You are warm." Softly the words were mumbled into his shoulder. He could feel the warmth of izaya's breath against his skin. It was calming, reassuring him that the raven was still alive.
"Pleasant?" he questioned, trying to distract the raven from the pain.
"Yeah," he sighed, "Nice way to die."
Honestly- Shizuo knew Izaya wasn't trying to shatter his hopes, he was being realistic, probably even meant what he said and yet, hearing these dreading promises of death were not exactly putting the blond at ease.
"Can you please stop saying that?" he mumbled, loosening his grip on the iron thread to slide down a bit further.
"Why? Being digested would have been worse," Izaya mumbled, for once really not understanding that it wasn't the type of death that unsettled the blond.
"You saying that you will die is what I mean," he explained leaving the raven to hum.
Leaning against the blond´s back like this, being carried down the tree- possibly being carried to the wall as well- Shizu-chan really was quite something.
Risking his life earlier too.
Shizu-chan didn't just leave, didn't just grab the blade Izaya had thrown him and left, no, he came back, returned to cut the titan open and fish him out of his grave.
"I'm curious what will you do if I do?" he found himself asking- and for once his question didn't serve any ulterior purpose or proved to find out something entirely else- no for once he was just curious, wondered what his response would be. "Bury me here?" he suggested, naming the first thing that came to mind. A mind that was already so horribly gone.
Izaya could feel his conscience sway with each step the blond took. He was already moving so cautiously and yet it felt as though he was kicking Izaya into his guts with every move. His legs too, dangling freely he wished someone would saw them off already just so he wouldn't have to bear with the pain of them moving around anymore.
"I won't bury you, because you will survive," the blond stated, answering his question with another show of his confidence in that regard.
To be honest, it was admirable.
"You amaze me you know. How hard you are trying to save others," Izaya mumbled, "The kid from before, your brother, me-"
Izaya wasn't paying attention to what he was saying anymore at this point- even Shizuo noticed as much, when his brother was mentioned though he was surprised, surprised and forced to remember what the fla had said earlier. On the battlefield, before he as grabbed.
He told Shizuo to survive, think about your brother, had been his words.
"How much do you know about my brother?"
To be continued~
heyo heyo~! *0* Sowy for taking slightly longer to update xD I happened to get sick for a week meh making me move all my updates -glares at the evil viruses flyin around- xD anyway~ I'm back again and right now working on the Sotd update haha, I wanna update it today still, but hmmm
Well I wonder, might be able to make it, might not xD Let's see xD
Guest 2: xD haha I love writing Shizuo in his KILLKILLKILL mode xD but all the more i love writing him in his aw my gawd I needa help the flea and worry about him mode- aWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW xDDDD hehe lol I feel so evil for writing this and torturing Izaya so much but at the same time….. EHEHEHEH I LOVE IT xDDDD I'm such a saddistic little bitch lol xD
The next sns update will come out on 17th June~! :3
See ya all there~ xD