A/N: I'm back and Thanks for all the reviews I'm glad you like it. I'm kinda stuck so I hope you like this enough to keep reading. Here it goes. This chapter has a heavy cussing notice to it.

Disclaimer: I only own the story and my imagination.

Chapter 3: Don't Dream: The Pain

"Ellie." Was all Sean could say. He couldn't believe what he saw. Ellie, his Ellie was passed out bleeding on the floor. He had to do something

"No don't call. She's only 17, they'll call social service or whatever and she'll be taken away. She's not emancipated right." When Ellie was living with him he learned a lot about this stuff just in case something like this ever happened.

"Then what the hell am I suppose to do? She's bleeding a lot, Sean she could die." Jay was trying to stay calm but at the same time he was mad and worried.

"No she isn't going to die. I will not sit here and watch her die. Dammit do something." Alex was yelling and crying she was pissed at the fact that they were just sitting there doing nothing.

"Do something Jay." Emma was yelling and crying to she was also trying to comfort Alex but it wasn't working.

"What the hell can I do then? I'm not a doctor. We need to get her to a doctor or else she's going to die." Jay was holding Ellie and trying to make the blood stop but it wasn't working

"I know a doctor you could call um James something the numbers in my bag." Jimmy threw in trying to remember the number.

"No time, help me get her to the car. Sean keep applying pressure to her arm. Jimmy the keys are on the hook, you drive. Hold on Ellie everything's going to be ok, just hang on." Jay was yelling out orders and trying to stay calm.

Emma and Alex were the only ones home. They were cleaning up the blood and trying to keep their minds off what was going on. It had been three hours and Emma was starting to get worried. They sent Manny and Craig home and were just about to call when Jimmy and Sean walked in followed by Jay carrying a sleeping Ellie in his arms.

"How is she?" Alex asked as she went over to lay her head on Jimmy's shoulder.

"She's ok now. Twelve stitches, he gave her some painkillers and some under the table Anti-depressants." Jimmy laid his head back and started rubbing Alex's head.

"What about him, how's he doing." Emma said nodding her head in the direction in which Jay left.

"Jay, well he's what you'd expect. Hasn't said anything to anyone. Man I've never seen him like this, the whole way there he kept telling her he was sorry and that he should have done something sooner." Jimmy was starting to feel bad he felt like it was somehow his fault, like he could have stopped it if he would have aid something sooner.

"Wait, you guys knew she was doing this again and you didn't do anything." Sean spoke with anger in his voice, which made everyone realize he was there.

"No we only found out about it this morning. Jay was the one who found out, he told us and we were waiting for the right time to say something." Jimmy got off the couch and walked into the kitchen. He was pissed that Sean thought he had any right to accuse them of not doing anything.

"Waiting for the right time. How about the second you found out. What the hell were you guys thinking letting her go on doing this. She could have died today. Do you guys even care?" Sean was pissed he was yelling at everyone as if he had the right to.

"Where do you get off?" Alex stood up and was in return yelling at Sean.

"Alex don't." Emma was trying to calm her down before she said something irrational.

"No I'm not walking on eggshells just to spare his feelings; he needs to hear this." Alex looked at Sean as if she could kill him.

"No Emma she's right let her speak, I want to here her defend her ass in this one." Sean had that same look on his face he was mad.

"You left her all alone, she didn't want tot speak to anyone. She cried for as long as I can remember and not once did you bother to call and see how she was doing. She loved you for reasons I'll never understand, but you didn't care all you thought about was yourself. So finally after she stopped crying over you the ferret died and she was sad but she got over it. Then her dad died and her mom started drinking again and that was more then she could handle. Do you know how hard it was for her? She would put on a brave face for us but Jay said it was an act. He would pass by her room in the middle of the night and hear her crying. But she told us she wasn't doing it again and we believed her." Alex had tears coming down her face; it was hard remembering what she went through. It had been hard on all of them.

"No you wanted to believe she wasn't doing it again. I think apart of you all knew she was doing it, but you didn't care to ask her or to check." Sean wasn't being reasonable he was acting as though they didn't care.

"You son of a bitch don't you dare accuse us of not caring. Do you know how hard it was walking in and seeing her bleeding or watching her cry in your arms telling you see was sorry and that she didn't want you to see this. Do you have any idea how hard it was promising that you wouldn't tell any one because she said she would never do it again. Having to put her in to bed after you cleaned the blood up and telling her everything was going to be ok or hearing her say that no one cared about her that no one loved her. I sat there with her and held her as she went to sleep, I told her that I loved her and that I cared but she said she didn't want me to because it seemed like everyone she loved ended up leaving. And after I told her that I would never leave she said that she didn't want anyone to love her because she didn't want them to hurt for her when she left. After that I sat there and cried she basically told me that she was afraid of us leaving her or her leaving us. So don't you tell me I don't care about her, 'cause I care about her more than you ever could." Alex was face to face with Sean and she was yelling at him. Sean was now crying something Alex said must have gotten to him. As for everyone else they were shocked. Alex never told them about that. Jay however was in the doorway with a look of sadness and anger on his face.

"I love Ellie. That is not something I'll let you accuse me of not doing. But I can say that if I had known about everything I would have came back sooner. When I left I knew what I was possibly doing, but I guess I was being selfish. I convinced myself that I was coming back but that I needed to stay to work things out. I couldn't help Ellie anymore without helping myself first. I needed to understand what the hell was wrong with me. I didn't call because I knew how hard it would have been for both of us. I gave her up because I had to and believe me that was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I will love her till the day I die but I had to do it. As for me not knowing well you're wrong there to. You may know what it's like seeing her down and sad a few days or cutting till she almost dies, but you see that through the eyes of a friend. You'll never know how hard it is to love someone with all your heart and see them in pain and not be able to stop them. I know what it's like to wake up in the middle of the night and hear her crying and going to find her to see her bleeding. I know what it's like to hold her and comfort her and tell her it's going to be ok, when in fact you don't know that it will. I know what it's like to put her in to bed and tell her that you love her and for her to tell you not to because loving her is only going to hurt you. I know what it's like going into that bathroom and picking up the razors and cleaning the blood, and sitting on the floor crying a praying to G-d she'll be ok. I know what it's like going to bed every night and feeling her body right beside you in the bed and fearing in a couple hours that it won't be there, and that I'll walk into the bathroom and find her dead. I've had nightmares every night about waking up and seeing her lifeless body lay on the bathroom floor. I cried for her that's the only time I ever cried was when it was concerning her. When I left it was the hardest thing, because every night I went to bed and she wasn't there and then when I woke up I would go into the bathroom thinking she was there. I got scared every time the phone rang in the middle of the night because I wondered if that was the phone call that was going to tell me that the one girl I loved to death, the one girl that understood me, was dead. I wanted to come back so many times for her. I wanted to say screw my problems and run back to her, but I couldn't. So instead I stayed and I cried and I missed her and I worried. I know Alex, I know more than any of you in here what it's like to wake up to her crying, and go to sleep praying she was alive when I woke up. I know how it feels to rush her to the Emergency room and wait outside dreading that the doctor would tell me I lost her. I know so don't you sit here and tell me how bad it hurt you and that you love her more than me." No one said anything. Sean had tears rolling down his cheeks. He never told anyone about that he never thought he would.

"We... we all love Ellie, we've all been here for her. We know how much you love her, but you haven't been here Sean. You know Ellie we can't make her do something she doesn't want to do. We've tried to talk to her we've tried to get through to her repeatedly. But she kept losing everyone or thing she cared about, and in the process she started losing herself. I don't want o put blame and I don't want to make you feel bad, but you're a big part of the reason she is hurting and why she feels like she can't let anyone get close to her." Jimmy was the only one able to speak without blowing up at Sean. He saw that Sean was hurting but he knew Ellie was hurting more and he was part of the reason why.

"She hasn't seen you, she doesn't know you're here. I think it would be best for Ellie and everyone else if you just stayed away for a while. If she sees you it's going to bring up painful memories and she can't handle that right now. If you stay away for awhile and let it die down and let us help her get to a point where she's able to see you I think that would be best." Jay said to Sean as he walked over and sat down at the table in the kitchen. He spoke softly as not to wake Ellie.

"You want me to just walk away and act like it's ok? No I can't do that I'm sorry Jay I won't." Sean looked at Jay and spoke coolly as if what Jay was asking was a question.

"Sean I'm not asking. I love that girl way too much to watch her hurt over you. I did it once; I will not do it again. Don't do it for me, do it for her. Imagine how hard it would be to see you right now. You know she isn't going to want to talk to you and she's going to tell you to leave. We can't help her if she's upset about you being here you know that." Jay was trying to get through to him. He knew how stubborn Sean could be and that it was going to be hard for him to walk away from Ellie but he knew it had to be done.

"She lives here with you right?" Jay nodded. "So you will be keeping an eye on her?" Jay nodded once again. "Fine then I'll go, but I want to know what's happening with her. I want to know how she's doing and I don't want any arguments about any of this any more." Jay shook his head and agreed to all the terms.

"I guess I'll take you to my house and you can get situated. You'll have to find things to do around here on your own, 'cause I'm never home. Ok then I'll be right back, call me as soon as she wakes up. I'll be back baby, don't you let her open her presents with out me." Jimmy said getting off the couch and kissing Alex. He started walking to the door followed by Sean and then they left.

The living room was quiet. Everyone was thinking about what had happened today and they didn't even notice Ellie enter the room.

"G-d who died?" Ellie was trying to make jokes but she could see that it wasn't going to work this time.

"El how do you feel?" Emma questioned as she got up and hugged Ellie who returned the hug.

"I'm fine I guess. Look guys before you say anything let me just say this. I didn't intend on killing myself, I left the room and went into the bathroom and grabbed the razor. I wasn't even planning on cutting I was just going to look at it. I held it to my arm and I was peaceful and then I heard Jay call me and I got spooked and cut by accident. When I realized what happened I knew that it was deep. I am sorry I scared you guys like that and this time I promise I'll never do it again. I saw what you guys went through and I hated it I knew I was hurting you more then I was hurting myself. I know I shouldn't say this but I'm going to get help because The last time this happened it was with Sean and I saw what he went through because of me and I promised I would never put him or any one else I truly cared for through that. And I realized that I needed help right before I passed out because I heard Sean's voice. It was like he was there and so I felt that I was letting him down and you guys too because I was breaking a promise." Ellie was crying a little as she spoke. Emma reached over and hugged her and so did Alex. As they broke apart she looked at Jay waiting for him to give her his acceptance to what she said.

"We wan you to get help but we can't make you so if you're sure this is what you want then I'm there for you, but if you ever in your life do that to me again El." Jay said giving in and giving her a hug.

"I know, I'm sorry. Thanks for saving my life. Thank you everyone. Hey where's Jimmy?" Ellie looked around noticing for the first time Jimmy wasn't there.

"He had to go take care of something but he'll be right back." Alex said getting up and walking to the kitchen Emma followed while wiping tears from her eyes.

"Hey mom you hungry?" Emma asked trying to soften the mood and got everyone to smile.

"Are you cooking?" Ellie said getting up and walking into the kitchen.

"She better not be and neither should Alex." Jimmy said walking in the front door.

"Ha ha very funny Jimmy." Alex said kissing him.

"I've come to a decision. I don't think it's very wise for our family's sake that Papa Jay dates little sister Emma so I have to tell you all something. Jay is not your father he is a family friend that has been helping me out." Ellie said trying to keep a straight face.

"Well that's great news. I didn't want it getting around that I was dating my father." Emma said giving Jay a quick kiss. And laughing at the fake shocked look on Alex and Jimmy's face.

"Ok we're one big happy dysfunctional family right sis?" Alex said grabbing Emma's shoulder.

"Right sis." Emma said wrapping her arm around Alex.

"Hey now wait me and Jay "Married" into this family. Right Jay?" Jimmy said patting Jay on his back.

"Right Jimmy." Jay said patting Jimmy's back.

"Whatever you're still apart of this family I'm the mommy and I can still ground you and tell you what to do right everyone?" Ellie said laughing at there bickering and putting her foot down.

"Right Mom." Everyone said together.

Thanks for reading. If you notice the Chapter titles are the break down of the episode titles in which Ellie and/or Sean apear. Please review I hope you like it.