This is a fic I did when I was bored and in less than twenty mins. Cleaned it up a bit.

Title: Hot Trouble or Hot Date?

Author: Chibi Envy Chan

Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist

Rating: PG

Warning: None

Pairing: Roy/Ed

It was a long summer day, and underneath the relenting heat, a certain alchemist was sweating an ocean in which a little pint sized shrimp like him could drown in. Never mind that shrimps lived in the ocean. He glanced around, fanning himself with what appeared to be a report of some sort. It was hard to tell at first glance since the writing appeared to be chicken scratches that were trying to pass itself as writing. "So hot." He eyed the suit of armor with jealousy. Sometimes, it was better not to feel anything than to feel this unbearable heat.

"You keep saying that, but with the way you eat, you'll end up wishing you could," Al chided, carrying their belongings. They had recently exited the train station and were heading to HQ to hand in the report of their recent mission.

The state alchemist sighed a long one. "I guess it's true, the grass is greener on the other side."

"Yes, it is. Do you know how long I've been wanting to feel even if I'm baking under the sun?" Al said wistfully.

"You only say that now," Ed grumbled. Normally, he would return it with their usual playful banter; however, his mind was on other things such as the damn sun. Actually, his mind was on vacation as he walked past the gates, which would inevitably lead them to the building.

"Uh, brother?"

"What is it, Al?"

"You've gone too far." Al informed him, standing in front of the gates.

Ed glared at the gate as if it was responsible for him completely missing it and marched right back to it before opening it. "Let's get this done and over with so I can find a nice place with a iworking/i air conditioner."

"Okay."

Inside the headquarters, the others were suffering. The air conditioner broke, leaving the poor dogs of the military to fend for themselves. Currently, Riza had the only working portable fan. She had brought it in, seeing as how hot it became, and she refused to wear those damned mini-skirts that a certain state alchemist was so fond of. Breda and Havoc were plotting to steal said fan but were kept at bay by a trigger happy first lieutenant. Fuery and Falman knew better to mess with her. As for the colonel, lets just say he took off the layers of clothing he did not need.

"It's a sauna in here," Ed commented as he waltz through the door, not bothering to knock. Typical Ed behavior. Of course, his brother politely knocked even though Fullmetal already entered. "Don't tell me they haven't fixed it since I was last here."

"They did," Roy corrected him, leaning forward on his desk to rest his head on his hands. He had his usual 'I know everything' smirk. "Sadly, a few days after it was fix, some idiot had to break it. Now we're stuck waiting for the repairman to come and fix it again."

"That sucks. Oh well, better you than me." Ed said gleefully as he tossed his report onto his superior's desk. "Here's my report, 'sir.' I'll be going since I have the day off." He turned to leave the room when a cough caught his attention. "What?"

Roy had picked up the report and was squinting at it before turning it every direction, trying to make sense of it. "You call this a report? I know kindergarten children who can write better than this."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT PEOPLE ASK HIM IF HE NEEDS TO HAVE HIS DIAPER CHANGED!"

"Fullmetal, I'm tired, you're tired. Let's not go through his again," Roy said, ending their little dance. "We'll meet at another time when conditions are more hospitable. Let's say my place at around seven? I'll even cook dinner."

It took a few minutes for Ed's mind to process the information. Roy? His house? Dinner? When he managed to speak, he sputtered. "Fine, but it's a report and not a date."

Roy raised a brow. "Oh? I never said it's a date. Were you thinking I was asking you on a date?"

Ed's blush would put a tomato to shame. He opened his mouth, but no words came forth.

"Do you want it to be a date?" Roy asked, amused by his subordinate's reaction. He could care less about his other subordinates in the room.

As usual, Al decided to keep quiet about the whole thing. He even started chatting with the others, who were gossiping about Roy's preferences.

"NO! Why would I want to date someone like you?" Ed screeched, causing everyone in the room to wince except Al because well.. Al was Al.

The Colonel shrugged. "Too bad then. I was kind of hoping to get to know you better." This time it was his seductive smile.

It caused Ed to become weak in his knees. Now he knew what all those women felt when Roy used his charms on them. "Uhhh..." Great, he was a child prodigy, and all he could come up with was 'Uhhh.'

"Great, I'll see you at seven, and don't forget to wear something nice." Roy said as he reached for his cursed paperwork, signaling this conversation was over. "After all, you'd want to look nice for your first date."

"... There had better not be any flowers!" Ed screeched when his mind started working again.

"Of course."

Riza in the meantime had enough of the gossiping. "Unless you have nothing else better to do, I highly recommend you get back to work!" She reached over to where her gun was holstered.

Seeing this, the four hastily scrambled to their work, hoping it would stave her impending shooting spree.

"I think we'd better go. Brother needs to rest. Goodbye." Al said as he grabbed his brother before he could scream at the Colonel and dragged him out of the room.

Roy was used to the brothers' antics, but it still amused him. He smiled while he watched them leave.

Click.

"Sir, don't you have some paperwork as well?"

Crap.