Greed: Hello, and welcome back to the Pipsqueak and the Mechanic. You know, there a bunch of fucking perverts reading this. Notice how that has soon as an author puts a lemon in the story ratings just shoot up? C.A.M.E.O. I know you was sittin' in front of your computer jacking off when you was reading the last chapter. Either that or you had a dildo up your pussy.

Anyway, here we have with us for an interview, the bastard I hate the most: Envy. Envy, we know how you feel about me, Dante, the Elrics and Hohenheim, but what are your opinions on the other characters on the show?

Envy: Well, I think I'll start with Armstrong first. He's gay. He's a gay ass, dumb ass, bald ass, dick so fucked up from steroids ass BITCH!

Greed: …Oook, what about Mustang?

Envy: I like Mustang. Not only did I get to have sex with him once, but I had sex with him in all the lemons in A Roy and Riza Story.

Greed: What! But the only time Riza couldn't be on the set for a lemon was in the last chapter!

Envy: Well it turns out that Roy's so bad at pleasing women that Riza had me step in. And I personally think that Roy should switch to men. And giving Roy head was so much fun…

-meanwhile. At a mansion in Central, Roy Mustang watches the interview on tv and screams-

Greed: Did you hear something?

Envy: No.

Greed: Well, our interview is over, time for the continuation of—

Envy: Now wait a minute Greed, you promised me 60 seconds!

Greed: Motherfucker you got 10 seconds to get the fuck out! Or else I won't tell you where Roy lives!

Envy: Oooh, it's a hard decision. 60 seconds or fucking Roy's brains out…

Greed: JUST MAKE A DECISION!

Envy: Ok, I'll leave, but you have to tell me where Roy is.

Greed: Deal

-the two shake hands. Meanwhile, back at Roy's mansion, Roy runs to the top floor and jumps out the window-

Chapter Four

When I woke up the next morning the first thing that I became aware of was the pair of arms wrapped around me and the fact that my clothes were thrown around the room. Then the memories of last night came back and I smiled to myself. Ed stirred and opened his eyes.

"Good morning Winry", he said to me.

"Ed it's three o' clock at night", I said nuzzling closer to him.

I felt his arms wrap around my waist and pull me closer to him, and I felt his half-hard member rub against me.

"Ed do you—",

"Want to have sex with you?", he finished for me.

My only answer was to smile and move in for a kiss. He rolled over so that he was on top of me and slipped his tongue into my mouth. I felt one of his hands go down to my clit and I moaned has he inserted a finger into me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him has he fingered me. Then, just when I was about to come, he removed his finger from me and I felt it replaced by something else. Ed started his thrusts and there was more pleasure than pain this time because I had gotten used to it.

I tilted my head back at the sensations he was causing in me. I felt him nibbling at my neck, marking me has his. Minutes later we were both lying in each others arms and that's the last thing I remembered…

I awoke to the sounds of my alarm clock the next morning. Ed was gone. I smiled to myself and got out of bed and started to get dressed. I tied my hair into a pony tail and went downstairs. Grandma was the only one in the kitchen when I got downstairs.

"Good morning Winry", she said to me.

"Morning grandma", I said back to her.

"Sleep well?".

"I slept fine", I said to her.

"Funny, because from what I heard you did anything but sleep", Grandma said to me.

My eyes widened when I realized what she meant. "I am in so much trouble", I thought to myself.

--- --- ---

I had left her room a few minutes before her alarm clock went off. I had gotten dressed and walked back into the room Al and I shared. Luckily for me, Al was still asleep. I stripped down to my boxers and got into bed. Two minutes later Winrys alarm clock went off. "Man, what a night", I thought to myself. I decided that in a few minutes I'd get dressed and go downstairs as well.

When I went downstairs and into the kitchen. Winry was sitting down at the table and I knew something was wrong. Her cheeks were red, and she looked shocked. And then I saw Pinako in the room. "She knows", I thought to myself worriedly.

"Ed, how good of you to join us", Pinako said when she saw me. "I was just about to have a little talk with Winry. But since you're here, this will be even better".

I nervously sat down next to Winry.

"What do you mean?", I asked pretending to not no what she was talking about and failing miserably.

"Ed, you're a terrible liar", Pinako said flatly. "And you know very well what I'm talking about. I'm talking about, what you two did last night!".

"Ok, we're screwed", I thought to myself.

"Did you think that nobody would hear the sounds that you two were making? Well if you did you were wrong! Do you realize the consequences of…"

On and on Pinako's speech went on 'how we didn't need to be doing this yet', and how 'we didn't need a baby'. When Pinako was done giving her speech, she forbade me and Winry from being alone in the same room together. "Oh great", I thought to myself, "that means that she's going to be following us everywhere".

"And don't try to sneak time alone", Pinako said glaring at me. "Or else you'll wish you'd never been born".

Normally, the tone in witch she said that, combined with the glare I was getting, would've caused my penis to stay flaccid for the remainder of my stay here. But, considering the overwhelming urge I had to make physical contact with Winry ever waking second, that would be difficult.

I stole a glance at Winry, and knew that she was thinking the same thing.

Greed: I'm afraid, that I have some very bad news for you. Roy Mustang, who was scheduled to make an appearance in this fic, attempted suicide today, and jumped off of the top of his house. He lived and lived, because his fall was broken by a bunch of cacti. Other than the fact that lots and lots of needles are lodged into his body, the only thing wounded, is his pride.

But who gives a shit about Roy Mustang anyway? Anyway, you fuckers know what to do. Press the magic button that says submit review on it or else I'll shove a stick so far up your ass you won't be takin' a shit for the rest of your life. Also, I'm starting a new company, Sin of Avarice productions. Specializing in fics that are all about me, as well as EdxWin, RoyxRiza, and ScarxLust. By the way did you know that only one motherfucking person reviewed the last chapter on Killa's Scar and Lust fic? Y'all motherfuckers better start reading, and reviewing that story or else testicles are gon' be chopped off. Starting with for always x.

Greed

P.S. Seriously C.A.M.E.O., have you ever thought about having a sex change and fixing the whole mentally sexless thing?