"Tell me Bilbo," said Frerin quite suddenly one day after they had cleared the forests of Mirkwood. The dwarf was not unkind and he did commonly speak to Bilbo if they travelled near enough to each other, but he had been quiet as of late and Bilbo was not expecting to hear anything from him today either. He jumped, (though his seat on Myrtle's back gave him little room to do so), and clutched his chest (as he was want to do when people surprised him). He really shouldn't have been surprised, of course, but he was already quite on edge as danger came nearer and nearer to his soul mate. He could only be glad that Vili was currently nowhere to be seen (for that dwarves always set his nerves on end).
Oin looked back at them and Bilbo was quick to remove his hand lest the dwarf come to pester him about his supposedly weak heart (Bilbo would rid them of that notion yet). Luckily, though, Frerin waved him off, so Oin only narrowed his eyes before turning forward again.
"What would you like to know?" asked Bilbo when Frerin did not continue.
"I want to know about your travels," Frerin said.
"My travels?" Bilbo asked. Curiously, none of the dwarves had asked him about his travels besides the initial wondering of why he was in their mountain, though they were quick enough to talk about their own.
"More specificially," said Frerin, "why you have come all the way out this way? What brought you so far away from home?"
"Perhaps I just wished to see the world a bit?" Bilbo said. He wasn't at all very convincing, but he wasn't sure what else he could say.
"The stories we have heard of hobbits is that they are very fond of home. Rarely have there been tales of one venturing outside of their lands and never has one been known to pass over the Misty Mountains," Frerin said with a raise of a brow.
"Are you sure?" Bilbo asked. His mother had been known to be a great traveler among their people and Bilbo had once thought that there was not a single place she hadn't been. Especially since she would tell him all these tales about different places in the world (though whether those came from books or adventures, Bilbo had never known).
"Am I wrong?" Frerin asked.
"Hmm," Bilbo thought for a moment, tapping a finger on his chin. "Certainly not many of us do travel. You'll never hear of a Poudfoot stepping out their door without a party to go to or a field to plow. They much prefer to sit around with their feet propped up and a pipe in their mouth. Oh! And the Bolgers! They're so big around the middle that it's a wonder they ever actually leave their beds. And the Gamgees. They are very fond of gardening. If ever you should need someone to fix up your gardens, you should go first to Hamfast. He's the best green thumb their ever was. Oh I do miss my gardener. He'll be keeping my house all nice and safe from the Sackville-Baggins's. Oh! But don't get me started on them. Dreadful people they are. You should see the way Lobelia dresses! She wears such dreadfully bright colors that clash horribly with her skin and hair. Not to mention her gaudy hats! She thinks she'll bring it all into fashion or something of the sort, but no one except her would ever wear such awful things. She'll go outside any chance she gets to "show off" and talk everyone's ears off. But the Tooks love to travel, I'll have you know. My mother once made it all the way to Rivendell and maybe even farther than that."
"And what of the Bagginses?" asked Frerin before Bilbo could launch into one of his mother's famous stories. "Do they travel?"
"The Bagginses!" Bilbo gasped. "Good heavens no! We Bagginses are very well thought of. We never have any adventures or do anything unexpected. When my father went on an adventure to save my mother, it was the talk of the town for years. I still hear tale of it every now and again. It's all very romantic, I'll have you know."
"He went to save your mother?" Frerin asked.
"Of course!" Bilbo said. "She was in danger, so of course he had to go out and save her. The tale of how they met was one of my favorites when I was a child, I'll have you know. Mama was being attacked by wolves and she was already injured when my father came just in time. He scared them off by throwing rocks at their head. He used to be the champion of conkers before I took on the game. Oh, but I can't quite tell the tale like my mother. She always makes Papa seem so very strong!"
"If they had not yet met," said Frerin, "then how did your father know your mother was in danger."
"Oh!" Bilbo gasped, throwing his hands in front of his face as his eyes widened. He had gone and said too much. Darn his habbit of going off on tangents without thinking of what he was saying. "I…um…he…" Bilbo rung his hands together on his lap, wishing more than anything that he hadn't even opened his mouth. What was he supposed to say now? Their Instincts were supposed to be a secret, but how was Bilbo supposed to explain this without them. "He heard about it from the Bounders," Bilbo muttered after a moment's thought. "The Bounders said they had seen the wolves on our borders and, um, Papa had heard about some hobbits going out that morning."
Frerin raised a brow, but he was kind enough not to press. "So then why are you all this way out here?" Except that what he chose to press was not any easier to answer.
Bilbo thought about it for another moment. Could he just tell this dwarf about it? There was nothing that said hobbits couldn't tell others about their soulmates, was there? Surely there wasn't. As long as it didn't include anything about their Instincts, Bilbo supposed (though how he would explain things without them, he would have to figure out as he went). Besides, Frerin would learn about it eventually if Bilbo ever found his other.
"I am on a search?" Bilbo said. "I'm searching for my soulmate. But you mustn't tell anyone!" The last thing he wanted was to answer the multitude of questions the other dwarves (who had somehow quickly grown fond of him (Bilbo was sure it was because of his cooking)) would surely pepper him with if they found out about his quest.
"What is a soulmate?" Frerin asked.
Had Bilbo been walking on his own two feet, he would have stumbled then. Or frozen in place to be run over by their merry band. The dwarves didn't know what soulmates were. They didn't have soulmates. Bilbo's heart sped up and he suddenly felt breathing was more difficult than it should have been. Myrtle bounced her head, tugging Bilbo's arms and forcing him to focus on her lest he lose his balance. He was glad for it (Myrtle always knew what was best for him) as it gave him just enough time to regain himself before Frerin noticed anything. 'Perhaps they just didn't use the same word for it?' Bilbo thought desperately.
"A soulmate is the other half of our soul," Bilbo said.
"Ah!" Frerin said with a grin. "It's like a One then." Bilbo smiled and nodded frantically. He knew they must just have different words just like they said adrenaline instead of fight or flight. "Once you fall in love you'll be connected forever, right? I don't have one myself, but my sister fell in love with Vili and they've been each other's Ones ever since."
Bilbo's smile suddenly felt forced as his knuckles turned white around Myrtle's reins. They weren't the same. They weren't the same at all. Suddenly, Bilbo recalled the stories his mother had read to him from the dwarven kingdoms. Dwarves were known to love fiercely. Once they fell in love they would never leave the other and would do anything in their power to protect each other. It was similar, but it wasn't the same. "No," Bilbo said. "A soulmate is more than that. A soulmate is our other half. We have been destined to be together from the moment we are born. We've loved each other even before we've met each other."
And then the other part of what Frerin said, came to Bilbo's mind. Frerin's sister was the One of Vili. She was in love with Vili. Bilbo's soulmate was related to Frerin. It was possible that Bilbo's soulmate was Frerin's sister, but she was already in love with Vili.
Bilbo bowed over Myrtles back, suddenly feeling nauseous and unable to breathe.
"Are you okay, Bilbo?" asked Frerin, but Bilbo could barely hear it. Everything felt dull. What was he going to do now? His soulmate might already be with another. He couldn't get between that. He never should have come out here. He was just getting in the way for these dwarves.
"Breathe, lad," Oin's voice was calm even as he tugged Bilbo off Myrtle's back to sit with his knees against his chest. "In and Out. That's it." This continued on and on until the only thing Bilbo could hear was Oin's calm voice in his ear telling him how to breathe. "What on Earth happened?" he heard Oin demand.
"I don't know," Frerin said. "We were just talking. I didn't know it would upset him so."
"Well, I forbid you from talking about whatever it is again." Oin mumbled before returning to Bilbo and pulling him upright to examine now that his breathing was calmed.
"It's alright," Bilbo struggled to smile. "It's nothing to worry about, I promise." He was just surprised by the news that his soulmate might not be his anymore. He should have expected it, (and he cursed himself for not) seeing as he had already known men didn't have soulmates. It shouldn't have been a surprise that the other races might not either.