A/N– YAY another chapter of nothingness! Ok so I think I ended it all sweet and lovely and tamaki yelling, and if thats not true then im fan ficting my fan fict, yay fan fict!
Disclaimer- I love pie. Actually I hate pie, but I love Host Club, too much to try to own it, cuz then it'd be f'd up, and I'd cry
They stayed in the park, laying in each others arms, enjoying each others warmth, thinking stuff (does he use herbal essence or tresume, no prolly some salon brand, rich bastard), whispering sweet nothings in each others ears (where you just thinking that im a rich bastard), nice little "them" time that makes passerbys go "aaaw they're so cute together" cause they are. If you're wandering what happened to Tamaki I'm trying to ignore him, but he makes it so damn difficult! Seeing the leader of the teenage male prostitute club and his minions running towards them-a balloon man stopped and chatted with them, so they only started running now-they had no choice but make a break for it, down a dark ally. Yes it is morning, and they are in the country, but there was still a dark ally because its convenient for escaping and running into drug dealers and such.
Just then the most unsurprising thing happened, they ran into a dealer! A CARD dealer. J/K that would be stupid, he's a druggy alright, he's got the look about him this one. Think the dealer from rent, but Japanese of course, so he's like two feet shorter. To give the story plot, Haruhi unselfishly decides to sacrifice herself and bump into him, and steals his stash to save all the children of wherever the hell they're at from the evils of drugs. Then they run. They've escaped haha! BUT! The dealer has lackeys and chase music starts up. They barely get across the street when, for the sake of predictable plot, Haruhi sacrifices herself again and trips over herself and sprains her ankle. The plot thanks her. Every girl knows this is only for the better because of what has to happen next. Slowly, so that you can see all that beautiful drawn hair glistening in the morning sun and the worry appearing on his face, Hikaru turned around. Tragedy in the heat of action music overlaps the chase music. Naturally, he ran back to her and picked her up, with all that determination on his face that makes fan girls squeal, "EEEEEE they're touching! So Cute!"
Haruhi of course clung to him and continued wandering what kind of shampoo he uses (Do they have Bed Head in Japan? Maybe he imports, damn what is it rich bastard-san!) as Hikaru tried to escape with those long twig anime legs. Ninja's, of course, cut them off. Believe it! No, Narutos not there, he's stopping Sasuke from slitting his wrist, but Ninjas are.
"Fine, fine I give!" Hikaru yelled, seeing as how he had no escape and couldn't risk breaking a nail tryinig to fight them, "She's not that curvy, but please accept this offering as a sign of defeat." With this Hikaru bowed on one knee as he offered off his grandmother that he kept in a small vile in his pocket for times like these. The dealer carefully examined the tiny women but threw her at Hikaru's feet, breaking the vile.
"Yay! I'm finally free! I'd grant you three wishes but seeing as how you refused to rub me, ciao!" The dealer, upset now at loosing his chance to rub an old mini-women (and the three wishes for more old mini-women) yelled at Hikaru,
"Gimme something I can sell!" Now was Hikaru's noble moment, nowhere to run or hide, he had to protect his lady. Yay! She's his lady! However, he didn't think of an escape plan quick enough and the ninjas already stole the injured Haruhi and presented her to their master. "Oh well, look me up if you escape babe, Ciao!" he called as he started to walk away (it was this or "you shit, now we must fight to the death, bankai biotch"-a slogan they should totally use in Bleach but wont).
However, it wasn't over, for that is how karma works, "WAIT UP!" the dealer called, and because he abandoned poor Haruhi, Hikaru was cursed with sudden temporary stupidity and actually waited, in the dark ally, for a perverse drug dealer. Oh the joys I could have with one of them...
Suddenly the dealer went totally Night (from Absolute Boyfriend) on everyone and got all bishounened up with sparklies and little clothing(A/N-yeah I know Nights naked oh well, didn't like him anyways) in that flirty in your face position that gives nosebleeds. He'd probably say something really suave and sexy now, but he's a crude drug dealer so he just says, "Sorry hun, lemme have you instead? K?"Bright smile! Sparkle teeth! How corney (--')
If this was 12-year old written fanfict, poor Hikaru would have been raped right then and there, and I'd have to describe every bit of what was happening. Being a 12 year old fangirl I'd totally know about the details of male homo sex. Alas, Poor Karou hadn't planned for that. However, as it's mature 19-year old written fanfict, his mom's gonna fly in and save him. Yay mom. Actually, Haruhi would have been fine with letting her should-be lover get raped since he had sentenced her to that kind of fate. Unfortunately though, she wasn't a yaoi fangirl and would rather not watch this-the poor thing, she's missing so much! Through the power of love and willpower, mostly willpower, she willed her ankle to magically heal on it's own. Yes, she could have done this earlier, but she wanted to see where this was going-plus how could she turn down an opportunity for Hikaru to carry her?
The next step was to channel Hunny, who currently had his defenses down because there was ice-cream wherever he was, so that was easy. Using these Shaman powers that she only has in this one paragraph, Haruhi did some kicking and punching and fancy footwork with little twillys and ate cake all at the same time. The ninja and the drug dealer-who morphed back to his old ugly self-were knocked out. Score one for Haruhi! Now that is the power of a women and cake! To further demonstrate, she picked up the poor, nearly raped if I was 12, Hikaru, swung him over her shoulder and carried him off to a love motel. Details in the next chapter! Don't be shocked if there's no love motel. Or no next chapter.
A/N– they also need a 69 guy back story too, don't u think? Any bleach fans out there?...ok so there's an actual chapter, and a promise of another that I may or may not keep. Boring wasn't it? I wasn't sugar high enough when I wrote it, sorry! I'll try to be less sane during writing next time! Now that I actually gave myself a set up...Please Review! I totally love you! That rhymes! Finally the joys of whoring yourself out for reviews, like crack they are.