Killa Pat: First off I'd like to say this to all the people who reviewed the previous chapter and didn't like it: FUCK YOU! You know how hard it was to relive that memory? Sure, it was just a spoof off the Dave Chappelle show but that shit really happened! Greed really does make Roy Mustang look like Jean Havoc!

Anyway, Greed already had chapter seven planned out, and I just made some slight changes. But before we get ahead of ourselves, I'd like to introduce a friend of mine, the Great Armstrongdamus!

--Armstrong dressed up has a phsycic mind reader person walks onto the stage—

Armstrongdamus: I am Armstrongdamus. I possess the answer to every question you can think of. --A woman stands up in the audience—

Woman: Armstrongdamus, what will happen to Envy?

Armstrongdamus: Envy, will have a sex change, and become the husband of Pinako Rockbell, and will beat her. –Next, a man stands up from the audience—

Man: Armstrongdamus, where did Ed go wrong?

Armstrongdamus: Edward Elric should not have joined the State Alchemists. He should've gone to live at a Catholic Church. Then he could've of been around all the pedophiles he wanted. –Another man stands up from the audience—

Man #2: Armstrongdamus, why is Dante such a bitch?

Armstrongdamus: Dante is such a bitch, because she lost her virginity to Michael Jackson. –A woman stands up in the audience—

Woman #2: Armstrongdamus, why is Gluttony so hungry all the time?

Armstrongdamus: Because he's Gluttony you dumbass. Now someone ask a reasonable question. –Another woman stands up in the audience—

Woman #3: How come Havoc can't get a date?

Armstrongdamus: Jean Havoc can't get a date, because he can't afford to pay any of the transsexual prostitutes.

Killa Pat: We outta time for Armstrongdamus, but you can send in your own questions in your reviews. Now on with the real chapter 7!

A/N: I don't give a fuck if Ed's in a state of shock or not, he's going to be in the damn chapter!

Chapter Seven

Once I got back to Central HQ I braced myself for the 'greeting' I was sure to get from Mustang. I decided to just get it over with and opened the door to his office not bothering to knock. Big mistake. The sight before me was that of Riza and Roy making out. I stood there horrified until they finally noticed me and pulled apart.

"Ed, um, what're you doing here?", Mustant said buttoning up his uniform.

"My vacations over you idiot", I said to him flatly.

Behind Mustang Hawkeye struggled to hide the fact that she was blushing wildly and that her shirt was unbuttoned just enough to see her bra.

"Well um, now that you're back I have another assignment for you", Mustang said regaining his composure.

"Really, what?", Ed asked him.

"Get the hell outta my office! And don't you dare tell anyone what you saw!", Mustang yelled at me.

Mustang pushed Ed out of the office and slammed the door shut. "Somebody's in a bad mood", I thought to myself.

"Oh great shortys back. Hey Breda, you can expect the excitement level in this place to go up a few notches", Havoc said from his desk.

"WHO THE HELL YOU CALLING YOU SHORT YOU SMOKING SON OF A BITCH!", I yelled at him.

Havoc just chuckled, "come on Ed. I would've thought that you'd actually matured a little bit. But I guess not", Havoc said putting out his cigarette and lighting another one.

"You seem in a good mood today", Ed muttered.

"It's because for the first time in his life, he actually got a date!", Falman said.

"…", I so shocked at this last statement that I somehow managed to vocalize that phrase.

"Wow I didn't know you could say ...", Falman said, "anyway, he's all excited that he might actually loose his virginity".

"Yeah, well I heard you didn't loose yours till you were 22", Havoc said to Falman whose face reddened.

I couldn't help myself and I grinned at both of them.

"What're you smiling at?", Havoc said, "you probably just masturbate".

"That's what you think", I said to them.

--- --- ---

It had been a day since Ed and Al had left and I missed Ed…a lot. The first morning after he was gone I expected to wake up and be in his arms. Ed had actually kept his promise and sent me a letter. I pulled it out and read it for the umpteenth time.

Dear Winry,

Has I'm writing this I'm sitting on a train. Thanks for the great night last night, though Pinako will probably give you the old 'no sex before marriage talk', but what does she know anyway?

Love, Edward

Ok, so it was short and poorly written but it was still the first letter he had ever written me. I smiled and looked out the window to see Grandma walking towards the house with a letter in her hand! I excitedly ran down stairs to greet her like and excited kid on his birthday.

"I have a letter here for you", Grandma said to me handing me the envelope.

I took it and didn't bother to go up to my room to read it, I just ripped the letter out of the envelope eagerly.

Dear Winry,

I finally have dirt on Mustang! When I walked into his office I caught him making out with Hawkeye! He was so mad that he practically threw me out of his office. Then I found out that Havoc has a date. That man is so pathetic, I don't think he's lost his virginity, and he thinks that I just play with mine…well that's what he thinks.

Enough about me, how are things going with you? How's the automail business going?

Love, Edward

P.S. I have to go to Southern and I might stop by.

I smiled has I put the letter down. Edward would be coming by, when didn't matter to me, just the fact that I'd get to see him again made me happier.

Killa Pat: Does anybody think that this chapter was too short? Got a problem with it?

Guy: You suck!

--Killa Pat pulls out an 8 gauge shotgun and shoots guys nuts off—

Killa Pat: Anyway, review it. And if you didn't like chapter seven and thought it was pointless bullshit, then just FUCK YOU! If you like Chappelle's show, then you might've appreciated it!

Greed: And don't forget to check out our latest story, War. The newest Sin of Avarice production, so go check that shit out and don't close the window without reviewing!

Killa Pat: Oh and I almost forgot, don't forget to ask Armstrongdamus all your questions because he will answer them.

Killa Pat