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30 minutes later

John shook his head as their waiter made his immediate escape from the table. His eyes followed the poor young man, curious as to how he would react once away from Rodney, who simply had to be the worst customer he'd ever seen. Muffled laughter erupted when he saw the waiter gesture to their table, then produce a bottle of wine and pour himself a glass.

It was decided…John was going to have to leave a tip that rivaled the check itself.

Something about Rodney had warned John that this first date wouldn't go as smoothly as he'd like, but he hadn't been prepared for this. To start off, they'd argued for 20 minutes about where to go eat.

John suggested seafood; Rodney said they used citrus in everything, and that, unless John wanted to end the date in the emergency room, seafood was out of the question.

Then, John mentioned a steak house, and Rodney proceeded to describe, in detail, how unsanitary they were, once again asking if he was planning to have their goodnight kiss in a hospital.

Chinese was passed up when McKay pointed out that MSG wasn't something they should intentionally try to include in their diet.

Finally giving up on any form of a compromise, John made a dictatorial decision and drove them to an Italian restaurant. And that was when the real fun had begun.

Who knew Rodney was such a picky eater? It soon became clear that he ate everything…well, almost everything. But the problem arose when it came to the actual preparation of the food; it had to be made to his specifications. With each order, there was a list of changes that had to be made. Garlic bread with a minimal amount of garlic. Chicken parmigiana thoroughly cooked – did they realize how many diseases are caused by improperly cooked chicken? There's absolutely nothing resembling citrus in the water? Could they bring out the bread some time soon – did they not listen to him when he said he was hypoglycemic?

"So, Rodney," John tried to steal his date's attention away from the silverware that said date was wiping off with a napkin.

McKay's head rose once he finished cleaning his utensils. "Yes?"

Letting his best grin surface, he said, "I've known you almost all my life, but I don't really know anything about you. What is it that you do when you're not terrorizing waiters?"

Rodney's eyes narrowed slightly, but he still replied, "I'm an astrophysicist who is currently working on a wormhole model. Now, what is it you do when you're not stealing people's sunglasses?"

John laughed as their food was brought out to them, which elicited a strange look from their waiter. He waited until they were alone again before answering, "I'm a flight instructor. Though, when the mood strikes me, I actually work as a pilot."

A sound of disgust from across the table made John look up from his meal, but, to his confusion, his date actually looked amused.

-tbc-