"Well," Bilbo said to Myrtle once they were on the road again (when they had stopped for his little troubles, he had demanded that they should stop for food), "I think I should probably apologize to Frerin. What do you think Myrtle?" After being thoroughly chastised by Oin, Frerin was walking some ways of Bilbo looking more than a little dejected (though he was clearly trying to hide it from the rest of them) and Bilbo felt a little bad about it.
Myrtle shook her mane and bobbed her head, shaking the reins (Bilbo had given up trying to hold onto them since Myrtle clearly knew where she was going without his guidance anyway).
"You can't answer with both yes and no," Bilbo said, resting his hands on his hips. "It's not helpful at all. Well, I think I should no matter what you think. It's not as though that whole mess was his fault anyway. He was just telling me the truth. It was my own fault that I reacted that way. I should have expected this anyway. It's not like it's the end of the world anyway. Even if my soulmate will never love me," Bilbo clutched his chest at that thought, holding back tears that he didn't even really have the right to spill, "then I shall be contented with just spending my life at their side. I'm sure I could be useful in some way. Even if it is just as a friend."
Myrtle paid him no mind. Instead she came to a halt along with the rest of the group (which Bilbo thought was rather strange since they had only just gotten back on the road), and leaned down to chew on some grass.
"Now is the time that you are supposed to give your assurances," Bilbo pouted.
"Give assurances for what?" Frerin said, startling Bilbo (he had to reach out in fear that Bilbo would fall from his perch on Myrtle's back).
"It's nothing!" Bilbo said too quickly.
Frerin raised a brow. His eyes twinkled in the way that Bilbo remembered some of the fauntlings' having when they were up to some trouble or other. But he clearly remembered Oin's words because he glanced over at the doctor before speaking. "Very well. May I ask you about our destination?"
Suddenly Bilbo realized that Vili was stood behind the blonde dwarf with a raised brow of his own (he was clearly not used to seeing Frerin biting his tongue). Bilbo would have to clear up this whole misunderstanding rather quickly. He didn't like to be the cause of someone acting strangely. He wanted everyone to feel so at ease with him that they didn't ever feel the need to change themselves. Especially someone that was related to his soulmate. Family should always feel comfortable around each other (if they actually became family). Of course, this crazy notion that he had a bad heart was going to have to disappear before he could ever manage that.
Only, he still wasn't sure how exactly to apologize now. Apologies were supposed to be well thought out affairs (so said his father who never did anything without first sitting in his old chair to think about it). You can't just jump into an apology. You have to know exactly what you did wrong and make sure that you are truly sorry for your actions or else there is no point in apologizing. So instead Bilbo took the out that he was given by the dwarf (promising himself that he would think up the most sincerest apology later).
"Our destination?" He asked.
"Yes," Frerin said, glancing in the direction that they were heading. "We are not far from Moria now, but that place is cursed. Last I heard of it, it was overrun by orcs. Are you absolutely sure that the dwarves you passed on your way were heading in this direction?"
"Oh!" Bilbo gasped. He had completely forgotten that the dwarves were headed in this direction under his own orders. "Well I-" he stopped suddenly. His instincts weren't telling him what direction he was supposed to go anymore. The danger had stopped. But when did that happen? Bilbo couldn't point to a time specifically when he felt it disappear.
'Well,' Bilbo thought to himself (unable to talk to Myrtle with these dwarves watching him), 'I'm sure that my soulmate would have survived whatever it was. I mean they survived a dragon! What could be more dangerous than that?'
"You what?" asked Vili in his usual growl of a tone.
"I don't know really," he admitted. He hadn't really been paying attention to the ways that they went during most of their trip. He had only trusted that they would going in the right direction and that they were making good time (and he wasn't really too concerned about the danger anyway, since it couldn't be worse than a dragon). So he no longer had any idea which direction they were heading and which direction he was supposed to be heading to meet his soulmate.
"What do you mean you don't know?" Vili demanded, stepping forward with his sword already in hand. Now that Bilbo looked, most of the dwarves who had weapons were currently holding them. Apparently this land put all of them on edge. "We've come this far based on your instruction and now you tell us that you don't know! I knew we shouldn't have trusted this halfling!"
"Brother!" Frerin interrupted as Oin surged towards them, ready to get in the way before anything should upset Bilbo's heart.
Suddenly Bilbo was furious. Vili had done nothing but suspect him ever since he had met them in the Lonely Mountain. It wasn't fair in Bilbo's opinion (though he disregarded the fact that he was very clearly lying and keeping secrets to them, but that was besides the point anyway). Bilbo had taken them away from a dragon, for Yavanna's sake! Surely that should gain him some respect and trust. But no! Vili refused to even speak to Bilbo on most cases (he was a dwarf of little words anyway and only really talked to Frerin if he spoke at all) and only accused him of trickery when he did get to know him. 'Never judge a book by its cover,' Bungo Baggins had always said to Bilbo, 'for you never know what may be on the inside.' Vili had clearly never been taught such an important lesson.
What did Vili have to accuse him of anyway? Bilbo had been perfectly honest that he didn't know exactly where the dwarves were going. He had even said that he didn't talk to any of the dwarves that he passed. How was he supposed to give clear directions on such little (fake) information? It was the dwarves that had decided his soulmate would be heading towards Moria, not Bilbo (though he had agreed wholeheartedly when they showed him the map). And it certainly wasn't his fault that his soulmate wasn't in danger anymore (not that he was wishing they were either).
"I only pointed in a direction that I saw your people go, Master Dwarf!" Bilbo said, refusing to use the name of one who was being so rude to him. "It was you all who chose this place specifically. Of course, I wouldn't know where the dwarves would go. What little I know of your people is through books and the like. I didn't even know where exactly Moria was with how secretive you all are!" Bilbo had been keeping himself in check whenever these people upset him if only so that he wouldn't give a bad impression to his soulmate's family (and because the dwarves were rather imposing with their muscles and height compared to a plump little hobbit), but now he was very much done with it all. If this dwarf was going to act like a Lobelia Sackville-Baggins, then Bilbo would treat him as such (and it certainly helped that he currently had the height of being on Myrtle's back).
Frerin opened his mouth to cut in once more, but Bilbo was certainly not finished. He was done with this group of dwarves. The way they treated him like he was a child or an invalid only good for feeding them (though they were nice enough to him as a person). He was determined to show them that he could be more than that. He could be trusted and he was certainly not a child (he was 33 for Yavanna's sake)!
"And I don't know what has all of you in such a fit about this place!" Bilbo said, raising his voice now that he had his anger fueled confidence. "There is certainly nothing dangerous here now! I will prove it to you!"
With that Bilbo jumped from Myrtle's back (landing rather more roughly than was probably good for his ankles) and took off in the direction they had been heading. He dodged under Oin's arm and ignored Frerin's call for him to wait. He wiped the tears that were suddenly blurring his vision away as he ran despite the few dwarves chasing after him.
It wasn't fair! There was nothing dangerous! His instincts hadn't even caused his heart to flutter. The dwarves were just being unnecessarily suspicious (as Bilbo was starting to learn they always were). Bilbo was sure that once he broke through the trees and came upon the gates of Moria, there would only be a group of dwarves waiting on the other side. Perhaps they set up camp outside the gates before heading inside to remake their home. Or perhaps he would only find a guard or two protecting the outside as the others settled inside. Either way, the dwarves would be there and they would greet him much better than the group he was travelling with (which was probably completely impossible, but Bilbo could hope) and he would get to meet his soulmate and live happily ever after with them even if they don't love him.
The bushes pulled away and Bilbo's foot caught on something hard like a stick, but too smooth and heavy to be such. He fell, tumbling slightly, and landed on something too soft to be the rocky ground, but too hard to be a plant.