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ஜ Chapter 22: Desperation ஜ
-Shizuo´s point of view-
The raven froze, his head snapping towards the shadows in the room. A sound?
Sharpening his ears he tried to make out the noise Shizu-chan had been talking about.
But again they had returned to silence.
His eyes scanning their surroundings quickly, Izaya took a step back out of the shadows.
The sun's rays were illuminating the pharmacy, alright, but only half of it.
As if the blond had read his thoughts he followed him just until they were at the broken windows.
The grip on his coat loosened and from the corner of his eyes he saw the blond grasp the edge of a shelf.
"Shizu-chan-"
"Do you think it´s one of the bastards?" Shizuo growled, torn between feeling anxious and angry at the same time. They could have killed Izaya the day before- they had only crashed because of the fucking creatures-!
Hatred was winning over the healthy dose of fear and he almost hoped one of the assholes would wait for them here, just so he could kill it.
The raven didn´t give any sort of answer as he was still surveying their surroundings. The thought of meeting even one of the disgusting creatures again made his stomach lurch. Too many things had happened since they had first encountered them.
Be it the incident in the hospital or the way these creatures chased them the day before- just the thought of meeting them again drew a feeling to the surface that he didn´t like one bit.
But there was nothing. No movement, no noise, nothing.
"Shizu-chan I think you might have just heard a rat or bird," he mumbled feeling more relieved than he would have liked to admit.
Was it odd that he didn´t want to admit to himself that he was scared of these things?
"You don´t know that for sure," the blond added, obviously doubting what Izaya said.
Izaya knew he had a point, but thinking about it rationally all the nightly creatures they had seen had just been attacking them at once.
The one in the hospital charged him as soon as he saw him in the hall. The ones in the car dashed after them without a second thought.
Judging their level of intelligence Izaya figured they weren´t smart enough to actually hide and wait for them to come closer.
They were more like rabid dogs, attacking whatever came into sight.
That didn't mean he would make the mistake of approaching the shadows however.
Shuffling to the right, just before the shadows he reached for the bag he had dropped there, the medics pile being next to it.
"Let´s just take these and leave," he mumbled, not intending to leave valuable medicine behind.
"Izaya wouldn´t it be better to-" but he didn´t get to listen to the end of Shizu-chan´s sentence as he faded out.
Feeling as though his heart just stopped beating the raven´s eyes followed the blond´s hardened gaze.
From behind a shelf, slowly but surely something came crawling up front- dead rotten eyes were staring at him from the other end of the pharmacy-
Gnawing, almost humane sound dripped from the rotten corpse´s clattering teeth.
"Izaya-"
Choking on his breath the raven took a step backwards his hand flying into his coat´s pocket to draw out a knife - blood pumped through his body at a speed that couldn´t be healthy as an odd ringing sound filled his ears.
Instantly having had the shelf at hand the blond was ready next to Izaya, just waiting for that creature to come closer to beat it with the wooden shelf. A couple curses were escaping his lips every now and then while the flea just remained quiet.
But the creature didn´t come closer.
Screaming, reaching for them it was squirming near the wall´s shadow. The jaw torn apart to a degree it almost seemed like it would fall off any second. Biting gnawing, as if it was trying to eat them from afar it stared at them with its dead eyes.
Once, twice the creature took a step forward only to screech and hiss before backing off into the shadows again.
Only now Shizuo actually got a chance to properly look at the creature in front of them.
So far they always had had to run, only caught glimpses of them, not to mention of the darkness always surrounding them, but right now he could make out everything about that creature.
The eyes were white, glassy and yet there was this small black pupil in them leaving no doubt that the creature could actually see. The skin had taken on an odd brownish rotten color- it was wrinkling up, clinging to the bones as the creature had lost a lot of weigh. It almost reminded Shizuo of a skeleton wearing skin.
The blond´s hair stood on ends- it took what felt like a whole minute until he realized that the creature wasn´t going to come any closer. It tried sure, tried once, twice, only to end up writhing like a worm at the contact with the sun´s rays.
"That girl was actually right about them hating the daylight," the blond found himself mumbling relieved as he dropped the shelf he had been ready to throw.
But Izaya didn´t say anything back-
He looked pale. Wasn't saying anything either.
His stare was just fixated on that zombie in front of them.
Izaya didn´t even know what was wrong with him. Just looking at the creature made him feel nauseous, made his head spin and his ears ring.
Again the creature stepped towards them, only to end up screaming and backing off yet again.
He needed to get out. It was the only thing that popped up in the raven´s mind as he felt as though he was going to suffocate in that monster´s presence.
Turning on his heels he just headed for the entrance. He couldn't stand the sight, the noise.
Stumbling after him quickly he noticed the blond followed him outside- but he didn´t really feel like saying or talking or telling him anything as he just let himself lean against the pharmacy´s wall.
Tilting his head back, eyes closed, he let the sun shine on his face.
"Izaya?"
No talking.
He didn´t want to.
He didn´t even know why he was reacting like this to that creature.
Why now?
Why would he be afraid of it now? Why did the sight of that thing make him feel so damn frustrated and nauseous all of a sudden?
Because he saw it up close? Actually was able to take a proper look at it? It certainly didn´t look human anymore.
Groans and screams of the creature, seeing its prey leave were reaching his ears and he felt as though he had just flinched at the sound.
"This thing doesn't even look human anymore- Where are we? In a horror movie?" the raven finally chuckled, but the smile he put on his face only made him seem that much more distressed.
The blond´s worried eyes narrowed just a fraction, feeling as though he understood Izaya´s reaction.
That thing was unsettling him more than Izaya was letting on.
Thinking about it, it was no surprise, the first thing had broken his ribs almost managed to kill him and yesterday´s creatures had chased them to the point they almost both ended up dead.
The blond wanted to ask if Izaya was okay, but yet another scream of the creature was just making him swallow the words.
It was then that Shizuo realized what was wrong with the flea.
He was afraid. Of this thing.
Wordlessly he turned around, stepping into the pharmacy again. Having noticed the movement the raven´s eyes snapped open instantly, his body tensing as he took a quick step to follow the blond.
"Shizu-chan?" almost alarmed the raven´s voice reached the blond´s ears as he took the cupboard once more.
This was all just because of these shitheads- Izaya was feeling like shit just because that asshole was there-
Shizuo was mad, yeah he really was, and yet he also felt so incredibly calm.
Without a word he rose the cupboard, approached the creature just enough to reach it and-
*BAM BAM BAM*
Flinching at the sudden show of violence the raven felt a momentarily urge to close his eyes.
Screeching and screaming the creature protested against the cruel treatment, but the blond didn´t even stop once as he brought the shelf down on the creature till its head split open and it stopped moving.
He hated the creatures, and yet he wasn´t doing this for revenge. He was doing this just for Izaya.
Silence occupied the room.
The blond threw the cupboard away, only to destroy even more of the already damaged pharmacy.
Having looked away the raven now glanced at the dead creature. It was really dead. Not moving anymore. Blood was staining the ground and even though it made him feel nauseous when he saw parts of the creatures brain leave the skull he couldn´t help but feel relieved.
"It´s dead," the blond informed, stating a matter of fact as he shoved his hands into his pants pockets.
"I can see that." Was it stupid to feel relieved even though he knew there were dozens of others like it out there? Izaya knew that just because they killed one that didn´t mean they were safe and yet-
Exhaling deeply the raven turned around and reached for his bag.
"This-" he mumbled, pulling out a small glass bottle from it, approaching the blond.
The creature wasn´t moving anymore
It... was really dead, right?
It wasn´t pretending, right?
"I need some blood," it was a statement and yet it sounded more like a question. Blinking the blond glanced at the small glass object.
"For the antidote?" he asked, making Izaya nod at him, taking in the expression Izaya was wearing he felt as though they communicated per telepathy.
Wordlessly he took the bottle from the flea´s hands, as he crouched down to let some of the gross liquid pour into the pipette.
He knew Izaya didn´t want to get any closer to that thing, but he also knew he would never spell it out loud.
Dark and gross the liquid poured into the object. Shizuo didn´t need Izaya to spell out how he didn´t want to get any closer to the creature. It was obvious from the way he looked, behaved, the hidden question in his words- it was somewhat surprising but Izaya was someone he understood without even the need of words by now.
Capping the small bottle shut the blond handed the pipette back. Izaya had said they were going to find a safe place.
A safe place sounded pretty damn awesome to him right now. The raven pocketed the bottle in his bag and left the pharmacy, not once glancing back at the corpse.
Shouldering the blanket sack filled with food cans and other useful utensils the blond followed right away.
And the flea- the flea just kept walking.
He didn´t say where to or what he had in mind, he just walked on with the bag over his shoulder, and Shizuo followed.
He was worried about Izaya. And for once not because he thought he was going to be injured or killed by someone. So far Izaya had seemed so strong in every possible situation, even the day before- all of these monsters were after them and Izaya just kept his cool, kept thinking straight.
It was an ability Shizuo had always been envious of- so seeing him now distressed like that just seemed so wrong.
"You alright?" He was probably the last person Izaya wanted to hear him ask that, but he couldn't give less of a shit right now.
At first he thought the raven hadn´t heard him, or chose to ignore him as he often liked to do, but then he slowed down in his steps until he actually just stopped.
…
Alright, huh?
Was he?
Izaya couldn't deny this lingering feeling of dread nor the fear he had felt when he saw the creature. He couldn´t deny the nausea it brought him to think about the future and their probably soon to come death.
Somehow, even though Shizu-chan was right by his side, he felt alone. Desperate, like he lost the game.
Those creatures were simple, deadly, just out to kill them- he was no doctor, he was no scientist, what he had come up with, the antidote, it might as well be futile to make it in the first place.
Alright- no he definitely didn't feel alright, he hadn´t felt truly alright ever since they crashed with the van the day before, ever since he had realized how easy it was for them both to die.
Not just him, but Shizu-chan too. And that realization was dragging him down more than he would ever like to admit.
"They just gross me out," he heard himself mumble, wondering why he was even trying to keep up an act, a mask, why he even tried to reassure the blond. It wasn´t like lying to him would make them live longer.
"And that´s all that is to it?" Apparently the blond had one of his smart perceptive moments, because he didn´t seem to buy his petty excuse of an answer anyway.
"Are you doubting me?"
"I´m trying not to."
...
What was he supposed to say? That he didn´t think life was even worth struggling and fighting for anymore? What life? Always being on the watch out always having to be alert, getting close to no sleep, keeping killing for nothing.
"I just can´t stand the sight of them anymore," the raven sighed heavily, not quite daring to say his exact thoughts out loud, who knew how the blond would take it.
"The zombies?" Shizu-chan asked with that all too familiar frown on his face. Hah, he looked worried, an expression Izaya was surprisingly used to see by now.
"Not necessarily them, but yeah that too. That thing- did you see it? Do you even think that kind of creature can be fixed?" Just the thought of it seemed ridiculous to Izaya just by saying it out loud. Whatever that had been, it definitely hadn´t been human anymore.
Shizu-chan frowned as though he wanted to protest.
"But you said you have an antidote."
The antidote, hm?
"I said I have a possible antidote. I don´t know if it will even work Shizu-chan." If he could even create it. He knew Shizu-chan had no idea what it took to create this so called solution, that they neither had the resources nor the equipment needed for it.
Electricity was something that didn´t come around the corner all of a sudden these days. "If it´s not going to work, then what...?"
He had no other plan.
After finishing the antidote his plans ended. That´s all he had plotted that´s what he had clung to, but now that they were searching for a place to create it in the unavoidable possible failure just kept coming closer and closer.
…
Shizuo understood what Izaya was getting at. At least he felt like he did.
He knew what Izaya was getting at and yet- Somehow Shizuo found himself thinking he didn´t even care. Right now he was totally fine. Except for being mad at the assholes and feeling worried over Izaya's injuries he couldn´t ask for more.
Was it because he was so simple?
Izaya would probably laugh at him for it.
But now after everything that happened-
"It can´t get worse, now can it?" The words obviously caused the raven confusion as he furrowed his brows.
The way he put it probably sounded stupid too- awkwardly rubbing his neck the blond wondered how to express what he meant.
"I mean, you keep saying how things won´t get better. But you know, they won´t get worse either." Only for a second the possibility of something even worse than the midnight zombies appearing crossed his mind, but the thought was chased away as soon as it acted up. "Sure it sucks to always be on the watch out for shitty zombies, but you know, uh... it doesn´t suck as much as I thought to be stuck like this together with you."
The confusion on Izaya´s expression only seemed to grow more and more with each word he said.
"Are you saying you don´t want everything to turn back to normality?" groaning the blond ruffled through his blond hair, seriously he would kill right now to be able to express himself as well as Izaya did.
"I´m just saying, even if it doesn´t work out, it just... doesn´t matter...?"
"You ask me?" the raven rose an eyebrow. Great that sounded more like a question than a response.
"No, but, I mean we kept surviving like this and even though we went through some great shit it´s not like our whole trip was uh... bad you know, it´s just-" by now Shizuo wasn´t even sure what exactly he wanted to say anymore, "even if it doesn´t work, it´s ... fine you know."
…
Fine, huh?
Izaya could see how hard Shizu-chan was struggling to try and get across what he meant. And even though he did it in the most complicated way, he understood.
… in a really weird sense, what Shizu-chan said made sense.
He had no plan apart for the antidote, and he didn´t know what was still to come and yet the way the blond put their situation, he felt at ease.
All his normal life in Shinjuku, what had he been doing? What were humans always doing? Craving for happiness if it came down to it.
He achieved it through plotting and annoying a certain monster, Shizu-chan probably through friendship and cakes.
And even though they had faced more hard times than good ones he couldn´t bring himself to disagree with the blond.
If they really focused on getting to a safe location now and just took care of themselves, who said they couldn´t just be fine with that?
Once he got a good night's sleep, a proper meal and security- who was to say he would still feel this frustrated after that?
"I mean, so you don´t have to worry you know, or think you have to do this by yourself alone and just and uh- I don´t know what to say anymore," the blond continued with a groan obviously still trying to make himself understood. It made the raven smile unwillingly.
He was right, from now on things were going to look better. Even if the antidote didn´t work. They knew about the nightly creatures, they knew about their weakness and he could annoy Shizu-chan almost 24/7- from now on things would be easier, safer.
Because they had information, ne?
"Shizu-chan are you actually trying to cheer me up?" the raven chirped, not feeling like moping around anymore. The blond blinked obviously surprised by his sudden change of attitude.
"I ... guess?" Shizu-chan was right, he had been running in circles in his mind.
Did he want to die? No.
Was he going to give up before trying? No.
"What are you waiting for?" Skipping on with the bag on his back he glanced over his shoulder with a soft smile on his lips. "We should hurry up if we want to find a good place for us two, ne?"
A bit surprised the blond blinked, but he was relieved as it seemed whatever was weighing on Izaya´s mind had lightened up.
To be continued~
Heheheheheeh C: C: C: C: C: AND NOW
THE SWEEEEEETEST chapter EVER is approaching ho ho ho ho ho C: C: C: C:
But first: I`M SO SORRRYYYYYY
Holy shit I only noticed today just how freaking long it has been since I updated this ;A; I´m sowy minna 3 Next update will be coming out exactly in 14 days I promise xD No more slugging around x'D I will be updating the new Sinful Desire chapter today and I will get every other story I´m writing now updated till the end of this week C':
Everything is like almost done xDD
I was working on all chapters at once and now I´m such a late shit geez xDD Sowy people C':
To make up at least a bit for it, as you saw I have a new profile pic, and I actually recorded myself drawing it and managed to make a speed video from it xD Lmao my internet is s shitty it took 3 days to upload x'D I´m not even kidding it were really three days xD
Anyway, just google this on youtube:
Shizaya speeddrawing "Sinful Desire" Chap. 3
Or try this link- (except fanfiction cuts it out lol) Don´t be such a dick fanfiction xD
watch?v=pSBou6zaMGQ&t=3s
Now to the reviews~
RandomReader: ! xDDDD Trololo I made the cliffhanger more suspenceful(?) than it actually was it seems x'DDD Sowy~ haha and the fluff is riiiight around the corner, just one more chapter I think C': lol I keep saying one more chapter, one more, but this time for real xD Chapter 24 will be the ultimate fluff bomb xDD
Guest 2: heh yep xD I love those two together here- to be honest even though this is the zombie story, this is the most "real" story I wrote so far xD i mean relationship wise and how they build up and grow and just it´s so real xD Lmao that´s why it´s my favorite xD Imma try to create something like this again haha C': I especially like that Izaya isn´t such a whimp here, I mean I do picture him a tad too soft I guess, but here he is just... stronger? In a mental sense you know, he is less of a fucking princess that´s needs salvation and I love it xDDD haha and your guess was right C': lol I hope it wasn´t too disappointing that it was just one of the usual creatures xD But I needed this scene for some further development haha C':
Whelp, that´s it for now, see you all in 14 days! Nah or wait, let´s make it even less, See you on 15th April! *0*
Sorry for the error i put the wrong update date on here c':
heIl wanted to change my updating schedule to Saturday anyway, so whelp, here I am xD This time I won´t be late!