-๑-๑ ஜ ๑- Chapter 35: Just for you - -๑ ஜ ๑-๑-
-Shizuo´s point of view -
Tears were flowing from his cheeks, dripping onto that dirty dust piling up beneath the two.
"I´m most probably going to die Shizu-chan-" the raven sobbed, the salty liquid streaming endlessly from his eyes. "There is a 20% chance will die. And a 40% chance I will turn into a zombie-" Cold and chilly the air around them suddenly felt as the blond´s grip on the raven´s wrists loosened just a bit. "The chances I actually did the right thing with this are incredibly slim- I might as well become a zombie one day and bite you when you don't expect it," the raven blurted out, eyes closed, but the drops still spilling. "I might bite you! Infect you! And the worst is you would have to kill me like that-" Izaya knew a lot about Shizu-chan.
He knew how strong he was, what these hands of his were capable of.
he also knew that if the brute had really wanted to he could have killed him years ago, be it back in Ikebukuro before this virus spread or afterwards.
He knew just how strong he was- and yet he also knew how incredibly weak he could be.
"I know you could never do that-!" Because killing someone- anyone-
"Fuck." Shizu-chan wouldn't be able to do that.
And now that they had gotten…. close, like this-
Izaya did´t even fucking know what they were and he doubted Shizu-chan had spent a lot of thoughts on it, but he wasn't stupid enough to think he would still kill him without any regrets.
"Is it so wrong to want to die alone? Is it so wrong I don't want to drag you down to hell with me?" he questioned, although his voice was already breaking halfway through. He knew he had fucked up. He knew. he realized it the moment Shizu-chan cried. Cried for someone like him.
"You should have ditched me the day we met Shizu-chan. Should have left me behind in that hospital." Looking at their situation now that would have been the perfect moment for the two two break apart. to go separate ways. At that point in time Shizu-chan had stopped mourning and blaming himself over ksuka´s death. At that moment he had learnt everything there was possibly to learn about these creatures.
No..
Maybe even before that.
"Or better you should have never followed me the day we met. We saved each others asses- you should have just gone your own way then." Izaya should have ran. ran faster, when Shizu-chan asked for teaming up, somewhat, he should have just declined, maybe he should have thrown a knife after the blond so he would rally listen, because now-
Now-
"I'm just going to get you killed-" The words broke off, swallowed and drowned by the pure sadness and grief that was assaulting the raven. So much grief and regret. He hadn't shown a lot of his emotions ever since he teamed up with the blond- he never did. He had always paid attention to keep his composure- and yet.
now like this, with the fear and possibility of him dying, along with the guilt and regret robbing him of his sanity he couldn't pretend to handle everything the way he usually did.
And Shizuo noticed that. Of course he did- seeing the flea like this- it broke his heart in a way he never thought was possible.
So that's what it was. That was what the flea was going on about.
This wasn't about Izaya getting fed up with him, or about Izaya being angry for all the stupid things Shizuo had done, no, this wasn't even Izaya trying to survive on his own or deeming their chances were better split apart.
No.
He didn't want to get Shizuo killed.
It wasn't even about him surviving, he wasn't even afraid of death. What he was afraid of was what was going to happen to Shizuo after it-
the raven was crying, was so incredibly sad and yet Shizuo couldn't help but be mesmerized by the sight displayed in front of him.
It tugged at his heart in a way he couldn´t determine.
Izaya's face, so honest, overflowing with tears and red- those brows furrowed in a display of regret and sadness- and yet… als care.
Maybe that was what captured the blond so much.
Izaya was crying for him.
He was crying for him.
Izaya cared about the blond to a degree that scattered all of these stupid masks he used to wear.
It touched the blond in a way the raven had not even managed with all his small gestures the past days.
Finding a pair of arms pull him up from the ground the raven blinked for a moment only to find himself being trapped inside a hug.
A tight, tight hug.
"But what if you won't die?" the blond questioned, his own voice shaking softly.
Because he knew he had found it, he had found something he was definitely not going to let go of ever again.
"What if you don't turn into a zombie?" he continued, trying to strengthen his voice, as he didn't quite believe his own words.
There was doubt layered thick, overwhelmed by the immense fear of despite having caught the raven, that he would have to see him leave despite his struggles.
"Izaya no matter what you say or do I am going to stay with you until the end," he declared, and this time his voice was not wavering, because he knew what he was saying was nothing but the truth.
"We made a promise!" The flea might have forgotten about it but Shizuo certainly hadn't. "Back when that woman protected us, you said I'm better off without you," he could clearly remember it, Izaya had implied something like this before. "You promised you wouldn't just run off without a word!" He promised!
"Nothing you do can change my mind," he announced, "And if you just disappear on me I might as well just go out at night and let myself be bitten."
Eyes growing wide for a moment the raven pushed at the blond´s chest.
"No, you wouldn´t-"
"You sure about that?" but Shizu-chan´s gaze was unwavering. "Do you really think I would just keep going like this? Search for some random person I could protect? Do I look that patient to you?" Izaya was about to say, yes, yes because Shizu-chan had to. He had to find someone else he could protect if he needed to, or just survive on his own- and yet, he already knew the suggestion would be falling on deaf ears.
Unpredictable and stubborn, those were definitely the most prominent features the raven could always rely on when dealing with the blond.
"I won't let you go. Sorry, Izaya. So please." Shizu-chan repeated and Izaya could feel that pair of arms wrap even tighter around his body. It was almost too tight- but he couldn't even bring himself to complain. The desperation was transmitted through his body and voice. "Please don't run away from me." the blond pleaded, and honestly, Izaya didn't want to anymore.
Maybe it was selfish, and hell he really felt like the asshole everyone always described him to be at that moment.
But he really did´t want to leave.
He wanted to stay. He knew he was going to die most probably, he knew he was going to bite Shizu-chan and would eventually kill him that way, he knew all of that and yet-
He wanted to stay.
"I'm sorry-" the blond heard the raven choke, "I'm sorry I took that stuff- I just - they almost killed you!" The sentence was broken, fragments of thoughts being expressed by choked sounds as the raven tried to make the blond understand something that he already had. "I thought if we don´t find an antidote now then they will get us, they will get me or worse- they might get you….!"
To be honest that was what had scared Izaya the most. The moment when Shizu-chan had stood there- and that monster had seemingly bitten his arm. That single second had caused the raven´s sanity to crash just then and there.
"When that zombie bit you I just-" He was choking on his own words, not even making a lot of sense but Izaya didn't even notice. "I thought that I would have to watch you change into one of them I-" there was so much pain reflecting in his eyes.
Fuck.
"It's not your fault, idiot-" Shizuo said, and even though he wasn't at fault he couldn't help but blame himself partly for this.
"You were right before," he said, voice rough and broken, "You said it could work right?" After all this was an antidote. Shizuo had seen it. The liquid on the table, the way everything turned clear- whatever this was, maybe it really was the antidote. Maybe the flea was now immune to becoming a zombie. "So let's believe in that for now, okay?" If anything ti was better than to cry over the possibility of him dying. "Maybe you really did it with that genius brain of yours," he continued, swallowing down a lump that had started to form in his throat.
"Trying to cheer me up when you are crying yourself?" a soft question followed, a chuckled hidden in it trying to sound as convincing and strong as possible.
The blond couldn't help but feel a broken smile sneak onto his lips.
"Oh, shut up." What were they doing?
Izaya had him had never done things the normal way- but this really- it was extreme.
"Sorry for that cut..." the raven suddenly muffled, his thumb brushing over a soft trail of blood that was starting to collect on his cheek.
Right, he had thrown one of his knifes before.
"Sorry for that shove." Shizuo had seen the flea wince when he forced him into the ground harsh like this.
It was then that something that oddly sounded like laughter bubbling from the raven's mouth.
"We are crazy-" he announced and Shizuo couldn't agree more.
"We always were. I don't even know how to act normal." But maybe that was exactly what drew them to each other this much.
Feeling the soft hair of Izaya tickle his cheek the blond nuzzled into his shoulder. He didn't feel like letting go of the raven yet.
The threat- the anguishing feeling of the knowledge of what was cursing or what might be cursing in the raven's blood caused a lump to form in Shizuo´s throat.
"How do we know if it worked...?" the question was asked quietly, as though he wasn't daring to actually talk about a topic so drastic.
"For sure?" Izaya repeated, sounding as though he was hesitating as well. "Well if a zombie bites me and I don't change, that's when we know if I made myself immune."
Feeling Shizu-chan grip his shoulders just a little bit tighter the raven couldn't help but sigh softly.
"I'm not going to let myself be bitten I guess?"
"No." Well that was to be expected.
Then again- izaya himself wasn't exactly keen to have one of those disgusting creatures let its teeth sink into his flesh.
No. Preferably not.
"... I'm not intending on it."
It was then that a sudden noise made the raven pause and push the blond off for a second.
"Do you hear that?" A confused expression was shown by the blond though as he looked at the flea. Blinking he turned his head, listened closely- he almost expected to hear some kind of groaning or something equally threatening. His nerves were standing on ends just thinking about the bastards that had been about to attack him before.
But no.
No groaning, no creatures.
"What do you mean?" he repeated, only to be interrupted by a harsh, "Pst-!" A finger had been risen to Izaya's lips and he closed his eyes as though he was trying to hear what he had heard once more.
And then Shizuo heard it too.
Softly getting louder- it was an oddly familiar noise, yet so quiet still Shizuo couldn't quite make out what it was exactly.
"No way-" but Izaya seemed to have as he suddenly got up from the ground. Following right after the blond ran after the flea that was heading to what used to be the entrance to the building they had landed in and stepped outside.
The sun was still gleaming strongly- there was nothing to fear yet.
And then he saw it- the object that emitted the all too familiar noise he had heard.
Black and unexpected it was just suddenly there in the middle of the sky.
A helicopter.
To be continued~
Oh gosh, things are gonna get quite interesting now ohohohoh xD
Well well~ who do you think is on that helicopter~? C;
Sowy for the slight delay btw, the next chapter will be up in three days~ On the same day as Shingeki no Shizuo is updated haha xD daw both my favourite stories are taking an interesting turn right now ehehehehehehe xD
Guest 2: awww well he does care about his "monster" xD haha shizuo has simply become to fucking perceptive C: gosh soon things will start to get so fucking-! gnarggghhhh xDDDDD Everyone will be like aw nuh aw gosh- omgggg xDDD lol I'm having way too much fun here xD
Well then, see you in three days~! xD