Special thanks to Kyoukutou for beta-reading.

Ch. 4 Amethyst Remembrance

A few days later after the last assignment, everything seemed to be back to normal. Just an average day in JuOhCho, at least that's what Kurosaki Hisoka thought.

There hadn't been any new assignments yet, leaving Tsuzuki and Hisoka to work on their new paperwork. Well, as for Tsuzuki, there would always be twice as much as Hisoka, since he never got the old stuff done.

It was late afternoon when Hisoka finally finished his paperwork, while his elder partner hadn't even made a dent, as usual. Tsuzuki was now doing nothing but staring at the papers as if it would show him a 3D image if he stared at it long enough.

Hisoka abruptly put down the pen and stood up from the chair, gathering his paperwork. "You're leaving?" Tsuzuki asked, looking up at the boy.

A nod.

"I'm coming too. I'll walk you home." Tsuzuki now started gathering his papers and cleared the mess on his desk as well.

Hisoka growled at him. "Are you sure you want to hand in blank paperwork to Tatsumi-san? He's already cut a huge portion of your salary. Besides, I'm not a child and I don't need to have someone walk me home."

"I didn't mean that. What's wrong with me caring about you?" The words actually stopped the boy from speaking further. He just barely managed to force out . . .

"…it's…"

'If there's a time I stop caring, you can bet there's something wrong with me.' Tsuzuki hoped he could say that out loud, but now wasn't the time.

Tsuzuki already had the pile of paperwork in his arms. "You're going to give those papers to Tatsumi, are you? Here, I'll take them for you." Without waiting for any reply from the boy, Tsuzuki just took the papers from him and ran out of the office, leaving the confused boy standing there.

---How can you said it's none of my business!

I'm your partner! I care for you! I LIKE YOU!---

As Tsuzuki had desperately hoped, Hisoka was still in the office, waiting for him. The boy hadn't noticed that he was back, along with the half of his paperwork he carried to Tatsumi before. The young boy was leaning against the wall, folding his arms. His face turned to the window, eyes lingering at nothing in particular.

Tsuzuki stared at the boy. The soft orange and yellow sunlight in the late afternoon touched Hisoka. As the boy was usually in his light blue jeans, the soft warm rays of the sun made him even look nearly glowing. It was an impressive scene, but Tsuzuki, saw something else as well. What he saw was that small form looked almost…fading.

Hisoka was startled. Not at the small sound Tsuzuki had made nor the sound of the papers scattering to the ground, but at the emotions that leaked out of the older man.

A pang of worry, pain, and panic.

"Tsuzu…" Hisoka was about to ask what all of the sudden with those emotions when two hands grabbed his arms. "Wh…what? Tsuzuki." The boy promptly took a step backward to avoid those emotions but found himself against the wall.

The elder shinigami said nothing as he raised his hands to touch the boy's cheeks, which flushed a bright red as the hands made contact. Tsuzuki sighed with relief.

WHACK!

"Ouch! What are you doing?" He clutched the spot on his face where the boy had struck him.

"And what were you doing?" Hisoka snarled, louder than Tsuzuki.

"…I was worried."

"About what?" The boy glanced, not getting the meaning of Tsuzuki's explanation.

'You were fading, you were going away…'

Tsuzuki couldn't bring himself to continue where he had started. He couldn't just lie to the boy, but he couldn't tell the truth either since he, himself, thought it wasn't something Hisoka should worry about.

"Sorry, forget it." Tsuzuki whirled around and started gathering the forgotten papers that were scattered across the floor when he had rushed to the boy. "But I didn't mean to hurt you…or scare you, Hisoka."

'I know, I know, Baka. But you're not gonna tell me the truth.'

Hisoka started picking the papers as well. "So I see Tatsumi-san didn't accept your blank paperwork."

"But I can work through these at home, he gave me special permission." Tsuzuki smiled.

They walked in a comfortable silence, heading to Hisoka's house. The boy was now trying to figure out why the usually talkative and happy-go-lucky partner of his was so quiet now. He took a quick glimpse at his partner, and found that Tsuzuki's eyes were actually fixed upon him.

Tsuzuki hadn't said anything because he was too busy staring at him. The empath was getting uncomfortable at his partner's action. "Is there something on my face?"

"Hmm? No." Tsuzuki replied, not aware that the boy was implying that he should stop looking at him.

"Ah! Hisoka, it's almost six, how about a dinner?" Tsuzuki checked his watch. "Are you eating at home? Or should I take you to some restaurant?"

"I'm not hungry, you can go to a restaurant," The boy raised his hand, motioning for Tsuzuki to decide.

"Are you not eating? You can't! You must eat!" The man was now urging the scowling boy who kept cursing himself to have said such a thing. He should have known that it would only make the man pester him even more.

The conversation reminded the empath of how much Tsuzuki cared about his welfare.

--- 'Did you have your breakfast yet? And a supper yesterday? You must eat full three meals. You want some of these? Cheesecake perhaps?' ---

He breathed deeply, "Ok, but I'm not going to restaurant, I'm tired."

"I can cook for you. What do you want to eat?" Tsuzuki exclaimed happily at his success in getting the boy to eat. To his surprise, Hisoka paled. He wasn't sure it was possible for his face to get any whiter, but he had.

"I won't let you in my kitchen."

"Wai! Why?" Tsuzuki threw out a hurt expression but all the reply he got was…

"Shut up!"

Finally, after the torturing lesson of 'Tsuzuki trying to feed Hisoka (Hisoka was going to eat instant food, Tsuzuki told him there were people dying of eating those things all the time, Hisoka told he was already dead, Tsuzuki won't stop…) was over, the boy was at the sink, cleaning things up. Tsuzuki sat sipping his tea as he was commanded to by his younger partner who demanded that he should not help clean because he would only mess things up.

Again it brought back the memory of the first time Tsuzuki had come to the house and took a look in the refrigerator. It was almost empty and what little food there would couldn't even compare to a quarter of the food in Tsuzuki's own fridge.

--- There was a small fight between the two. But the next morning Tsuzuki had came with a huge grocery bags and pounding at Hisoka's door.

When Hisoka had opened the door wondering who the hell would come at this dawn when the sun had just peek through the morning sky. Tsuzuki merely stepped in and went directly to the kitchen to put all kinds of food inside the fridge and told Hisoka to eat them all.

Bright green eyes blinked up at the concerned amethyst ones. Tsuzuki was a bit surprised that the boy didn't hit or shove him away when they were actually this close. The boy never would allow it back then.

Hisoka had been shocked at that time. Why would a person had to care that much? When he uttered only a word of 'why?' Tsuzuki only said because they were partner. ---

Hisoka sat himself in the bath tub filled with warm water which made its way over his pale bare skin. He folded his arms over the edge of the bath tub and rested his head upon them. Drops of water drips down from the blond locks plastered to his face. Hisoka closed his eyes and sighed in relaxation, welcoming the warmness enveloping him.

A moment or so had past. His eyelids slowly open, green eyes drifting. The house was rather small so despite the closed door he was still able to hear the sound of the television from the other room that Tsuzuki was occupying.

'That baka, what's wrong with him today? He even insisted on coming in here to scrub my back.' The empath pondered. 'Come to think of it, he's been pestering me more than ever lately.'

'I know that back then he used to look after me'

--- 'Hisoka, are you feeling well? You look paled. Did you eat full three meals? Did you bath before bed time? Did you have enough sleep?' ---

'But it's Just like an elder partner would take care of the younger one. But lately, it's too much. Moreover, most of the time, it's not just his concerns. It's worries. What is it that he has to worry about?'

"Hisoka? Are you all right in there?" The voice behind the bathroom door interrupted the boy's thought. "Hmm? Tsuzuki? What? I'm bathing here!" Hisoka snapped. 'Speak of the devil.'

"Umm…nothing." The empath heard the footsteps as his partner left the door.

'What's the matter with him?'

Hisoka put on his light cream long sleeve shirt and trousers, and dried out his wet hair with a light blue towel. The small figure made his way to where his elder partner was. He signed as he saw the man sink on the couch, fast asleep. Hisoka walked over and turned off the noisy television. For a moment, he merely stood there and watched the sleeping man.

'He's tired…he worries too much about me…but why? Should I get the answer out of him or just let it be.'

He sighed, left, and came back with a book. The boy flopped himself down on the couch softly, so as not to disturb the sleeping man next to him. Flipping through pages, he came to the page where he had left off. His eyes were on the book while his mind was somewhere else. The boy just couldn't ignore the mild weariness that crept out of the sleeping man beside him. "Baka."

Hisoka's soft voice pulled Tsuzuki out of his slumber. He stirred and blinked a few times before he was fully awake. He turned to the boy beside him who fixed his green eyes on the book. "Hmm? You're done bathing? Did you call me just now?"

"I didn't," Hisoka replied curtly, his eyes still on the book.

"Oh."

'I forgot…I did called him 'Baka.''

Then Hisoka took a deep breath, closed the book with a soft thud, and turned to face the man. "Tsuzuki, lately, has something been bothering you?" The boy started off.

"Huh? No…why?" The elder shinigami blinked in puzzlement while he gathered himself up and gave his young partner a fully attentive look.

Green eyes narrowed. "You've been worrying over me for weeks. I know it's not normal. It's different this time." Hisoka tried his best to calm his voice. He didn't want to fight about this topic.

Tsuzuki stuttered. "Did it make you…uncomfortable?" The question caught the boy off guard. Of course he felt uncomfortable, but…

He shook the thought away. "Answer my question, Tsuzuki." He demanded. Discussion was getting him nowhere fast.

"Well, I worry. When you took so long in the bath…I thought something might have happened to you," The man explained nervously. He seemed unsure of what he was saying.

"What? You think I'll step on the soap, flip over, and end up hitting my head or something like that?" The boy's eyebrows rose as he spoke.

Tsuzuki let out a soft chuckle. "No no, that's not what I mean."

"So, what about it?"

"On a second thought, that might be possible." Tsuzuki shrugged his shoulders absently.

"Tsuzuki! I'm serious!" Tsuzuki's cover-ups strained his patience. Hisoka now glared deeply into the man's eyes, and after a second of silence, he continued. "Is it him? Tsuzuki?"

Tsuzuki's eyes widened knowingly of who Hisoka was talking about, but he kept his mouth shut. Realizing the change in expression in the violet's eyes, Hisoka pushed the subject.

"Was it Muraki you were talking about when I woke up and not recalling the event of the previous night? What actually happened, Tsuzuki? What did I forget?"

At those questions, Tsuzuki tore his gaze away from the boy. "It's late, I better leave." He rose from the couch.

A pale hand caught his black suit sleeve, stopping Tsuzuki. "Don't get away with it, Tsuzuki. I just want to…" help you out. "Why don't you tell me, and we'll see if we can figure this out?"

Tsuzuki turned his face, looking down at the boy. Those beautiful green eyes were almost pleading. He couldn't bear the sight. He pried off the small hand and from his sleeve before he bend down and wrapped his arms around the boy. "Hisoka, can I…" He trailed off.

Hisoka was speechless. Before he could say a word, Tsuzuki pulled back, smiling warmly, "Sorry…forget it." He started prancing off, waving at the unmoving boy. "I'll see you tomorrow." The boy could only watch the man's back as he left.

'Damn it, Tsuzuki. All you say is "sorry" and "forget it".'

As soon as he reached his apartment he made his way to his bedroom, took off his trenchcoat, suit, and his black tie then dropped them on the floor. He threw himself on the thick futon that was left unfold from this morning. Closing his eyes, he sighed into the thick blanket, "I can't tell him, I just can't."

'What would he say…how would he feel…if he knew that that man was still lurking around freely? It's too soon.'

He got up, unbuttoning his white shirt as he head towards the bathroom and get ready for bed. Over the sink, he brushed his teeth. Once he was finished he continued to wipe his mouth with cold water. He rubbed and scrubbed again and again. His lips were burning again.

To be continued…