Finally new chapter, I hope I can finish this as long as someone will beta-read my fic.

Special thanx to Chris for beta-reading!

note: just a reminder, ---memory event---

Chapter 5 Face of Glass

He was late to work, again. Tsuzuki could easily get away with his lame excuse on coming late but he wouldn't escape this time when Tatsumi asked him for the paper work he had took home the day before and found out that Tsuzuki had totally forgot about it. Tatsumi seemed to be quiet for a little while before he finally exploded.

"Go get your paperwork and finish it! Right now! You can't leave until you're done with it! I want it today! And the report for today as well! Am I making myself clear?" Tatsumi had to gasp for breathe, his angry eyes bore into the scare-to-death-violet ones.

Just like everybody had expected and Tatsumi had likely known, Tsuzuki hadn't finish them. While Hisoka went home, Tsuzuki could only sat and does his paper work. Somehow he managed it.

It was raining heavily outside. Hisoka's house. Suddenly, he thought he must have imagined it, for he heard the knock on the door. But when he opened it, he found Tsuzuki there. He only expected Tsuzuki to come over to his house maybe two times, but not three or four times in a row.

He didn't like it.

Hisoka asked himself when Tsuzuki had become so attached to him. He used to know and respect his privacy. But something was different now. Beside sheer overwhelming concerns, there were something else. And it was interfering with Hisoka's empathy. Most of the time, he didn't prefer Tsuzuki staying overnight at his house. He didn't want Tsuzuki to see him if he happen to have a nightmare about a certain person.

But many times now, it seemed that Tsuzuki was the one who had more nightmares himself. Almost every night he would wake up in the middle of the night, calling for Hisoka. Less the time the boy felt frustrated, and would mostly tried to comfort his partner in anyway he could. He knew something was wrong. But Tsuzuki would never speak of it. 'This is what it's like, isn't it?' He thought. To have someone offer a help, but a person won't take it.

---Hisoka, if you're scared, you can come sleep with me tonight. The boy couldn't help but think of the time when Tsuzuki had grinned innocently at him and said that when they were on the case of St. Michael, where all the boys could fell as victims. And all he did was hurling that big heavy crucifix at his poor partner who has been nice to him.---

Then again, there came the fifth and sixth time where Tsuzuki just wouldn't quit coming to Hisoka's house until one day at the office, while they was only the two of them.

"Quit it, Tsuzuki! Stop following me around! All you said is that you were having a bad dreams about me going away from you! If you're not gonna tell me the whole story, then I'll just think that you only had a stupid dreams!" Hisoka finally exploded. He felt a pang of hurt; surely it came from Tsuzuki, but it might as well come from inside himself for scolding Tsuzuki.

The man looked away. "You don't understand what it's like…to have someone so important walk way…and disappeared from you." His eyes now looked gloomier than ever.

Hisoka couldn't respond to that statement right then. He came to realize what had happened back then in Kyotou.

---There's a thick white fog all around. He didn't know where he was, but the path that he could make out faintly looked like the Path of Philosopher. He turned around and saw a man in a black trenchcoat there. He was sure of who it was despite the thick fog that almost blinded his eyes. He called out. "Tsuzuki…"

With a faint whisper, the man turned and looked at him. Hisoka felt something wasn't right. This man he knew didn't smile brightly and hurry to him as he actually did. Instead, he smiled sadly, then turned his back on him. And walked away.

"Tsuzuki! Oi! Tsuzuki!" His heart leaped when Tsuzuki never look back no matter how hard and how many times he called.

'Tsuzuki. Why? You would have turned around and come to me the first time I called you.'

Then he bolted up from his sleep, gasping for breath.

"…A dream?" Hisoka quickly turned to his side and found an empty futon there.

Tsuzuki.

He reached out and touched the futon, it was still warm. He was suddenly worried. He quickly left a note for Watari, who was still asleep and left the shabby apartment they were in. He ran, in search of Tsuzuki. For a while, he came to realize that maybe he was just too overreacting. He slowed down.

Hisoka found Tsuzuki there at the Path of Philosopher. He didn't know what exactly Tsuzuk was thinking. But it hurt him to see all the signs of desperation on Tsuzuki's face. And it hurt him even more when he called out and his partner just slipped his mask on when he realized Hisoka was there. That's why Hisoka turned his face away, and talked about something else.---

"Hisoka, you blanked out again…"

"Huh?" Hisoka blinked and realize that he was lost in thought again. Tsuzuki was gazing at him.

"You were lost in your own thoughts again. Don't leave me here alone." He said.

"I didn't…" Hisoka urged out. "It's you that is always keeping things in your head and leaving other people out…leaving me out." The last words came out in a faint whisper as Hisoka left the room. Tsuzuki could only sit there.

When night came, Hisoka tossed and turned in his sleep. Tsuzuki didn't come tonight. 'Should I talk this over with Tatsumi-san and Watari-san? After all, they're the only ones who might be able to help out. But what could I say. I don't even know what's wrong with Tsuzuki. And he might not feel very happy if I talk about his problem. But again…what could I do by myself…'

After it seemed like hours, he was able to sleep.

Tatsumi was a bit surprised Tsuzuki showed up on JuOhCho much earlier than he usually did. But he looked tired and gloomy. The brown-haired man handed over the paper to Tatsumi. It almost seemed a miracle that Tsuzuki had done all the papers for the past months. He seemed to be a little swept of his feet when he came to Tatsumi.

'Maybe I was too hard on him yesterday.' Tatsumi's eyes softened.

"Good work, Tsuzuki-san." He awarded his co-worker with a smile. And was astonished when Tsuzuki didn't have his tail or ears pop up into a little puppy like he used to whenever Tatsumi was kind to him as if he have forgave him about the undone work. Tsuzuki only smiled faintly.

"Tsuzuki-san, you look tired. There's no paper work today, why don't you go home and get some rest?" Tatsumi expected Tsuzuki to turn up brightly, but he didn't. Instead Tsuzuki spoke:

"Really. Well then…can you…" He started off but turned back.

Tatsumi waited, seeing Tsuzuki was about to say something. Still, he didn't.

"Do you wish to deliver any message to Kurosaki-kun?" the brown-haired man asked knowingly. Violet eyes seemed to be drifting off for a while, but then he shook his head, then turned to leave. Now Tatsumi realized something wasn't right. He caught up with Tsuzuki and took Tsuzuki by the arm. Tsuzuki looked at him confused.

"What's wrong, Tsuzuki-san? You don't look like you just haven't had enough sleep." He asked with polite concern.

"Hmm? Nothing's wrong, Tatsumi." Tsuzuki spoke neutrally. Upon seeing those mask that slip on, Tatsumi let go of him.

Hisoka strolled determinedly to the building of JuOhCho.

'I'll talk to Tatsumi-san and Watari-san about this and see if they have any idea about what's wrong with Tsuzuki. I hope you're there, Tsuzuki. So you won't be able to run away. The three of us are gonna choke your answer out if we have to.'

He entered the building, walking on the red carpet across the hallway and headed directly to the office, expecting to see Tsuzuki and the other two elders there. But he only saw Tatsumi, sitting in one of the desk. Hisoka thought it was a little unlike him to sit on someone else's desk. Usually, Tatsumi didn't have much time to sit around in one of the offices. He worked in his own office. He could see that the secretary may have been waiting for someone. Tatsumi turned to Hisoka.

Hisoka gave him a polite greet, so as Tatsumi. And with determination to speak, called out the name, just at the time Tatsumi had called him too.

"Oh…I'm sorry, Tatsumi-san. Is there anything you want to say?" Hisoka abruptly put up.

Tatsumi got out of the chair and came closer. "Well, Kurosaki-kun. It's about Tsuzuki-san."

"Tsuzuki? What's wrong with him?" Unexpected to Tatsumi, Hisoka's eyes turned up in sheer concern.

Tatsumi was taken aback. The boy seemed to be worried a little more than the other times. He wondered what happened between the two. "Well, he didn't look very well this morning so I sent him home. But I could tell there was something wrong with him. I'm asking if you could check on him sometime in the afternoon. There's no work for you two today, anyway." He informed.

"He did?" Hisoka's eyes shifted, thinking.

"And, were you going to say something just now?" Tatsumi asked politely.

"Uhh, well, it's about him, that problem guy." Hisoka shrugged with a hint of annoyance and concern in his eyes. "Is Watari-san here yet, I think he needs to know about this too."

Hisoka had reached Tsuzuki's apartment. He walked past one of the apartment's room that belonged to an old couple. Hisoka gave them a polite nod while they asked him if he had come looking for his friend. It could be nothing else.

Hisoka had known these old people for a while since the first time he came to Tsuzuki's house. Tsuzuki introduced everything and everyone he knew around his apartment, as if it was like Hisoka was moving in with him. That's what his partner had done, to make him feel like home. He even took Hisoka into a small garden with various kinds of flowers around the apartment. That time, Hisoka had been surprised. Those flowers had been beautiful. The boy was wondering. 'How could such an irresponsible person like you do this much?'

'Maybe growing flowers is easier than taking people's soul.'

And Tsuzuki had asked if Hisoka would like to come and help with the garden anytime. The boy never did, and he began to feel somewhat…regret.

He got to the back of the apartment which leaded to a small garden. A garden his partner had made. The smell of cool grass and flowers were just like the paths in JuOhCho. No wonder Tsuzuki loved to take a nap in this kind of place.

The sun was setting down on the horizon, creating the beautiful mixture of light. The birds flew across it and landed on the nearby tree's branches. Beneath it, the brown-haired man was leaning against the large trunk. He was fast asleep. Some birds were around him jumping around the small bag of rice and seeds beside the man. And more were on his legs and shoulder, cooing around. Tsuzuki shifted his position slightly, but he was far from waking.

And there Hisoka found him, sleeping on the trunk of the tree, still asleep with the birds all around him. For a moment Hisoka didn't move, he just stood there and watched his partner.

"Tsuzuki."

Tsuzuki stirred, some birds about him jumped about, but they did not leave his side. Hisoka watched the purple eyes opened slowly. Those eyes smiled at the birds warmly looking about before they turned to Hisoka. And his eyes widened slightly in surprise.

"Hisoka?" A bird on his head cooed, flapping its wings at Tsuzuki's voice.

Hisoka turned away. "Tatsumi-san said you're not well." He refered to Tatsumi for the reason he was here. "Well, you're supposed to in bed, resting."

Tsuzuki smiled, petting some birds gently. Hisoka just watched. Despite the weariness from his partner, he could sense something very warm about Tsuzuki being in this place, with all those birds. He had known a long time ago; most animals liked Tsuzuki, especially birds and dogs. "I'm not sick, just a bit tired."

"Liar."

It turned out to be a little edgy silence between them until Tsuzuki again turned his attention from the birds to Hisoka.

"Why are you standing there? Come here." He offered his hand out.

Hisoka didn't move, he remained his distance and looked agitated. "But if I walk in, those birds will fly away." It's natural that birds are afraid of human. You won't see a single sparrow stay close to human a metre away. It's only Tsuzuki that they dared and even loved to get closed to.

Tsuzuki let out a laugh. "No, it won't. Come." He persuaded.

Hisoka reluctantly took a step. When he came closer, some birds undoubtedly flew away. But he didn't stop, seeing Tsuzuki with his still outstretched hand. Until he was close enough, most birds already flew away, only a few remain by Tsuzuki's side. Tsuzuki took Hisoka's wrist and motioned him to sit down beside him.

"See? They're gone." Hisoka mumbled as he seated himself beside Tsuzuki.

"They're just not used to you." Replied Tsuzuki.

"What's the different? They're gone anyway." Hisoka wasn't sure if he sounded like complaining, but he wasn't. He didn't care anyway if the birds would liked him. But he knew they liked Tsuzuki and wanted to stay close to him. He knew.

Tsuzuki turned to the side, grabbed the small bag that contained the bird's food. "Give me your hand." He motioned the boy to spread his palm so that he could put some seeds in Hisoka's hand.

"What are you doing?" Hisoka asked idly.

Tsuzuki didn't answer, they waited. Nothing happened. Tsuzuki then put some amount of food in his own palm. Some birds suddenly flew over and on to him and Hisoka gasped softly at the sudden movement of flapping. "Come here." Tsuzuki closed his palm over Hisoka. Their hands touched and some birds that are on Tsuzuki now started jumping on Hisoka's hand. Shortly after, more birds came over to Hisoka.

Hisoka felt a little uneasy, having never have this much birds flapping around him.

"Just relax, Hisoka. You won't hurt them and they won't hurt you."

For a while, Hisoka somehow felt like he was fond of this moment. Tsuzuki was laughing and smiling. Just then, Hisoka thought. 'How long has it been since I've seen him like this. Yeah, since when…' Green eyes widened slightly in realization. 'I almost forgot. I came here to…'

He took another look at Tsuzuki' smiling face one last time. Then he blurted out. "Tsuzuki. Today I talked to Tatsumi-san and Watari-san. I'm sure we'll be able to help you."

Tsuzuki's eyes confused, and there was a hint of fear in it, he knew what Hisoka was talking about.

"Tomorrow morning. I'll take you to them. We'll see what we can do."

Idon't know if the title fits this chapter, I see no other title that might fits better. Anyway, thx if anyone's still reading.