Disclaimer: I don't own HP or any of these characters. That belongs to JKR, Scholastic Books, Warner Brothers, etc.
Chapter Twenty Three : Sometimes Love
The bad thing about crying, Hermione reflected, was that it always managed to give her a headache afterwards. Which was why she hated to do it, but sometimes, she couldn't help herself. Like after she had realized what might have caused her disappearance like that. A small part of her wished that it wasn't the charm, but some evil plot by Malfoy or whoever. That wasn't a nice thing to think, as Malfoy had really been making an effort to be kind to her, but she thought it all the same. Especially as she knew that Harry wouldn't like all the details. He was being very sweet now, and she loved him for it – but she couldn't see him liking the idea that his girlfriend was prone to disappearing at times to help others in need. Especially given his reaction that first time. He had literally been in pieces, and Hermione felt so badly when she thought how it had been all her fault.
But now wasn't the time to linger on that. Now was the time to find a solution to her problems. The Trio were at the Hogwarts library, combing through the restricted section, just like old times. Each of them was in front of some book or another looking for any information on that charm Hermione had used. She had thought that the charm wouldn't stay put the way it did. True, it was a hybrid charm made up partly of a binding charm, but she thought she had taken care of the worst consequences of that portion. Hermione wasn't the most brilliant witch of her year for nothing. She knew perfectly well how each part of the charm functioned and how to go about modifying those parts to achieve the effect she wanted. She had felt kind of sad when she had finished making it and had no one to show it off to. It had been that good. And now she had more proof that it had been that good. It still worked. Granted, it wasn't supposed to still work, but the fact that it did meant that it had been very well constructed. Though she supposed she shouldn't be congratulating herself on that yet as she hadn't found out how to counteract its effects.
"Remind me again why we're here?" asked Ron.
"Because I need to find a counterspell to the charm I used," Hermione replied through gritted teeth. Really! How many times do I have to say the same thing to the boy?
"And a simple Finite Incantatem won't work because . . .?" Ron prompted her.
"Honestly!" Hermione rolled his eyes. And I guess we know who really didn't pay attention in Charms, she noted to herself.
"Because while most charms and spells are susceptible to the general counterspell of Finite Incantatem, not all of them are," said Harry. Hermione looked at him in surprise. She had thought he wouldn't know the answer either. "It wouldn't really be a good thing for all spells to be vulnerable to that, so there's ways to make sure that counter won't work," he continued, "in which case there is usually a more specific counterspell that one has to use. They can be very archaic and hard to get your mind around the theory to cast them." He caught the look Hermione was giving him and coughed. "I know that because it relates to Quidditch," he said, answering her unasked question. "As I was wondering about all those charms they put on brooms."
That makes sense. And Harry is adorable when he's embarrassed like that. Though I don't know why he'd be shy about knowing something – but then he's never been one to put himself forward. Which makes him more loveable. Though I can't really say that, can I, as blokes don't like to be called adorable and lovable and downright glompable? Hermione shook her head frantically, trying to get back to her previous train of thought. Gah! Must concentrate. Can snog Harry later. Can snog Harry lots later as he really deserves it for being so understanding about all of this. Hermione wasn't sure if she wanted to smile or frown. She had thought Harry was distracting before they got together, but it was nothing as compared to now. Before he was distracting because she wondered how it would feel like to kiss him, to be able to hold him and be held by him. Now she knew what that felt like – and worse, she knew she could indulge in kissing him and he wouldn't mind the slightest. Before, she had been tempted but she had been able to resist him partly because she didn't know how he would react. Now, she was tempted and she knew he would kiss her back. Hence the whole reason why he had become even more distracting to her.
Hermione wondered if she had the same effect on him. She kind of hoped so. It would only be fair. Hermione risked a glance at Harry, only to find that he had been staring at her. Their eyes met, and Hermione was found it so hard not to cross the distance that separated them to give him a kiss.
"You know, I for one am awfully glad that the two of you didn't get together in school," Ron remarked conversationally. "Because the way you two look at each other like a pair of lovesick puppies is truly something else. And it's getting so sweet that it's starting to turn my stomach. So enough already." Harry and Hermione both blushed. Hermione hadn't realized that she had been staring at Harry for that long. Heck, she hadn't realized that she had been staring at him at all. But she brought her attention back to Ron, who was now saying something else. "So Hermione, do you remember anything at all about the book that has the counterspell?" he asked. "Otherwise, I think we'll be here all day looking for it."
Hermione gulped. She hadn't told Harry and Ron the bad news yet. Well, the very bad news that made everything else seem good in comparison at least. The fact that the charm still worked was also bad news, she knew, but it wasn't as bad as what they didn't know.
"If you don't remember, that's fine," said Harry softly. "I don't mind being here all day with you to find it."
"That's if you manage to get any work done." Ron shook his head in despair. "Knowing you, you'd probably start snogging – or worse – before five minutes had passed if you were alone."
"Ron!" Hermione said. "We would not!"
He raised an eyebrow at her. "Trust me, Hermione, the way you two were staring at each other, as if you could hardly bear to be apart . . . you would have been in a lip lock with Harry by now."
"One can only hope," Harry quipped. "But I guess we better get back to the books. Especially if Hermione can't remember anything about the one that has the counterspell."
Damn. They haven't given that up yet. I guess I should tell them the truth, rather than let them find it out later. Hermione wibbled. Harry is going to be so mad. More than he is now. He's been so good about it but . . . I know he's going to be mad.
"Hermione?" Harry asked. "Is something wrong?"
"I . . . yes, well . . . that is to say . . . ." Hermione took a deep breath to steady herself. She could do this. "Thereisnocounterspell," she blurted out very fast.
Both Harry and Ron stared at her, as if they couldn't make out what she had said. Then Ron turned to Harry and said, "Okay. I know I didn't hear that right. It kind of sound as if she said that there is no counterspell. And I know that Hermione's smarter than to try some spell she's concocted that has no known counter." Harry nodded his agreement.
Hermione closed her eyes. Damn, damn, damn. They aren't making this any easier. I should have known better . . . but I was so desperate. I'd been useful the whole time I was at Hogwarts, but when I left, no one needed me anymore. I had nothing to do, and I didn't know what I was going to do with myself. And this charm was a way out. Though they probably won't understand that. She tried again. "I did say that. There is no counterspell. None that I ever found that is," she added quickly. "As theoretically, every spell must have its counter."
Ron rose from his seat, the steam clearly coming off his head. "Are you bloody insane?" he demanded in a loud voice. "To use a charm that has no counter! Hermione, what were you thinking?" Hermione opened her mouth to shush him for they were in the library, after all, but he wasn't in a listening mood. "You should've been smarter than that, Hermione. And why did you do something that is so brilliantly stupid?"
"I had my reasons," said Hermione. "And it's not all been bad." She glanced over at Harry, who sat as though in shock. She smiled hesitantly at him, hoping he would leap in and agree that some good things came out of her use of that charm, but he was too stunned to do so.
"Yeah, well you could have had Harry at any time simply by letting him know that you fancied him. But you were too stubborn for that." Ron shook his head in disgust. "I can't believe this. I didn't think that you, of all people could be so—"
"Mr. Weasley!" Madam Pince said sternly from behind him. "Have you learned nothing from your years at Hogwarts. This is a library."
Ron whirled around the glare at the witch. He wasn't in the mood to put up with being scolded. "And your point is? We're in the restricted section, and we're not bothering anyone," he said.
"On the contrary, Mr. Weasley, you can clearly be heard by all the students studying." Madam Pince looked around Ron to glare at Hermione. "And Miss Granger. I would think that you would be the first to appreciate the fact that some people need it nice and quiet in here."
"I'm sorry, Madam Pince," Hermione said contritely.
"Sorry? For not whispering here?" Ron seemed outraged. "Hermione! You bloody well should be apologizing to Harry and not to this old harridan."
"That is it!" Madam Pince looked furious. "Out! Out with all of you!" With that, she began shooing them out, arguing with Ron half the time. Hermione groaned. She felt for all those students who were trying to revise for exams, but couldn't at the moment because of the scene that was going on. Though she supposed she ought to feel sorry for herself and Harry as well, because it was a sure bet that this incident would be recorded in the Daily Prophet tomorrow. It was that sort of week.
Once outside the library, the Trio formed a huddle beside its doors. Ron was furious, though Hermione didn't know if that was directed primarily at her or at Madam Pince, and she wasn't about to ask.. Harry, on the other hand, still looked as though he were in shock. Hermione took his hand in hers and kissed him quickly on the lips. "I love you," she said. "And I'm sorry that I've put you through this."
That seemed to bring him out of his thoughts. "I love you too, Hermione. But this . . . this I can hardly believe. Why did you do such a thing?"
"Because," said Hermione. "Because I . . . felt kind of empty after Hogwarts, with nothing to do and no one to help. I didn't know what else to do. I figured that wherever the charm took me, it had to be better than where I was currently at. And it was."
"Thank you," he said. "But I wish you told one of us. We would have helped you. We did help you, in fact. Ron helped you find a job and I . . . well, I'm always there for you."
"I know," she said. "I didn't think you'd understand." She sighed. "Looking back, it was a really stupid thing for me to do, but I can't regret it completely because I might not have you if I didn't."
"Yeah. And there has to be a counter, just like you said," Harry added.
"Yeah, we just have to make one up," Ron said sarcastically. "Creating spells is so easy. Everyone can do it," he added nastily.
"Ron," said Harry. "Don't act like that. You're only making things worse."
"Sorry mate," he said, "but it's just that it was bloody stupid of Hermione to have . . . bleh! And here I thought this day couldn't get any worse." Hermione and Harry both turned to look at the direction Ron was grimacing at, only to see that Malfoy was headed their way. He stopped in front of the three of them.
"Good morning, Hermione," he said. Hermione winced. If there was someone who could set Harry off, it was Malfoy especially as Harry knew she had been sent to him last night. She hoped that Malfoy had sense enough to move on, rather than try to start up an extended conversation.
He didn't.
"You look well this morning," he said after nodding frigidly at Harry and Ron. "Did you do any more traveling last—" He never got a chance to finish what he was going to say because both Harry and Ron had whipped their wands out.
"You bastard!" Ron shouted.
Harry, however, didn't waste his breath. Already, he was moving his wand in a complicated set of patterns that was meant to cause a series of warts in the shape of a carrot to arise on the victim's face. Malfoy recognized the wand waving as being something that was not good and reached for his own. Hermione sighed. She had thought that she had seen the last duel Harry would be in after they had finished Hogwarts. That wasn't to be the case, it seemed, and the worst thing was that it could all be traced back to her stupidity.
"Stop that, all of you," Hermione said. She stepped between them. Harry and Malfoy promptly put down their wands, but Ron looked as though he was willing to have a go at Hermione for being so frustrating today. She faced him and glared at him. "If you want to duel, Ron, just say the word. I think you'd make a charming tortoise." Someone behind her snirked. Who she didn't know, as it could have been either one. But her words had the desired effect as Ron put away his wand.
"Good. Now, there is no reason for the three of you to fight. While there are plenty of reasons for you not to fight, especially not in the middle of Hogwarts. So why don't we all go our separate ways quietly." She focused her attention on Malfoy. "And I am fine, thank you, and I hope you have a nice day." She stepped aside, closer to Harry, to let Malfoy pass.
"I was going to the library," he said. "I must admit that I rather expect you to be headed in the same direction . . . ."
"We were just leaving," said Hermione. "Have fun."
"So do you know how you managed to break through all my wards last night?" Malfoy asked directly.
Hermione winced. She didn't want to tell Malfoy about the charm. She saw no reason to and plenty of reasons not to. It didn't really affect him, not the way it did Harry and Ron. Though she supposed there was no way he could take advantage of the spell – well, no way that she knew of. And while she would like to think that Malfoy wouldn't try to take advantage of it, she would also like to think that he didn't fancy her and she wasn't sure that was true anymore. So all in all, it was best not to tell him. "I'm working on that," she said. "Don't worry. I'll get to the bottom of it."
"And not by researching?" He raised one elegant eyebrow at her. "I would be happy to escort you to the library, if these two—" Hermione promptly stepped on his foot to shut him up. She could feel Harry growing angry beside her, and she couldn't blame him. Malfoy must have some sort of a death wish to be carrying on like that.
"I'm hungry," she said. "Have to take a break for lunch some time. And it's lucky that it's now so we won't be trying to read the same book at once because that never works. So I guess we'll see you later." Hermione crossed her fingers and hoped Malfoy would get the hint. This time, he did and he went into the library without saying another word.
"I'm going to follow him," Ron announced. "He might be up to no good and . . . ."
Hermione had the sudden urge to throttle Ron. He always thought it was Malfoy's fault and this time it wasn't. He always assumed the worst of Malfoy, and this time, Hermione knew that Malfoy was genuinely concerned about the strength of his wards and what could have transported her. Besides, Ron was being incredibly idiotic with that suggestion. "Ron, we were just kicked out of the library," said Hermione. And I shouldn't have to point that out, she added mentally.
"And I don't think Madam Pince will be amenable to letting you back in," said Harry.
"I have the Weasley charm going for me," Ron said, waving their statements aside. "Trust me. I can get in. Worst case scenario, I said I came back to apologize. Wish me luck," he finished with a grin and then, he was gone.
Hermione sighed. And that is why I think of him as a younger brother. Because only a younger brother can be that stupid. She shook her head and then looked at Harry. "I am . . . ."
"Sorry, yes I know," said Harry. "And you love me, which helps. I never get tired of hearing you say that at least. But what I'd really like is to find a way to take that charm off you. Because next time, you might not be so lucky. And I don't mean with Malfoy per se—you might get sent some place that's very dangerous." Harry looked distraught. "And I wouldn't be able to find you."
Hermione embraced him. "I know. I can take care of myself," she said.
"But I want to protect you."
"I know. I feel the same." She sighed. "I think the library is barred to us for now, so what do you say to paying Professor Flitwick a visit?"
"Professor Flitwick?" Harry's brow wrinkled in puzzlement. "I thought you'd want to visit McGonagall first."
"She isn't the Charms professor," Hermione said simply. "If I had a Transfiguration problem, she would be the first one I went to but I don't. I'm sure Professor Flitwick has his own private library of books. We might find something in there. Or he might know something directly."
"Sounds as good as plan as any to me," Harry said. He impulsively drew her to him and held her tight. "I hope," he said in a choked up voice, "that we find a counter soon. Because the thought of not having you with me . . . Hermione, I need you."
"I know, Harry, I know," she said. "I need you too. More
than anything else in this world." As Hermione heard his breath catch,
she knew they needed some time alone together. A side trip to the
Room of Requirement would be just the thing. Harry needed some reassurance
that he was the only one she wanted to be with. And she only wanted
to be close to him, as close as he'd let her get.
Author's note: And that's all for this week's update. I hope you liked it and I'd appreciate if you could leave me a review. Finally, thanks to danielerin, Fire-bound heart (yes, things will be getting very interesting now ^_~), Shawn Pickett (it will take awhile because of the problems mentioned in this chapter and the next), Daintress (that's cause they're still in shock), Erik MacRorie (if he wants to do that, it can't be in front of Hermione, because she won't like being treated like a bone two dogs are fighting over), SilverFoot (there are reasons for Hermione not wanting to realize it right away and the principle one is in this chapter), Fatima (thanks -- glad to hear that), xxbabysparklesxx, mikeus (yes, am still working on Seasons, where Hermione is busy telling Draco that he'd better not set foot near their estate), Creepy Susie, ExcalibursZone, LeslieGlady, Star19, lee74, Bulma Queen of Saiya-jin, TheWraith1 (I'm not giving that away), dreamingdemon, LuluIsALobster, monkeychika2006, EuphoniumGurl0, hpfanmelissa, Jabba1, Zekintha (thanks, I'll try to get that fixed this weekend), Orlando's Gurl, Falling, myman-harry526 (eep! Better you than me), Bladefanatic (yes, though Hermione will get annoyed by it if he keeps it up), Blood57 (he's in shock -- the fight will come later), harryloveshermione2003, Amynoelle, Jen, RogueBHS, Leah6, juliet's rose (it has everything to do with it), malu, PoTtErSPaYnE, superstar09, jc, CookiMonstr08, tigrrgirl13, Sally, paochi_cute, and casey windsor for their reviews of the last chapter. They were really fun to read.