disclaimer...on da first chappy so wats da point? every1 knos i dunt own it

a.n. um i guess people want me to continue this stoz so i cant really argue. um? writers block s very annoying. and this is begining was really hard to start. i had multiple choices...and out of all of the 100 i chose this one, hope i didn't disappoint you guys and girls...it took me ages to figure out how to start it.

Always and forever yours

Chapter 4

Beginnings and Ends

Kim's POV

What did I just do! How could I...Tears ran down my already numb face. I looked up and stared at the empty view of white. And I'm fooling around with some sex crazed lunatic. How could I? How could he? How could Rai just take advantage of me? How could I let him take advantage of me? I really thought that he would understand that I just didn't want to go that far. Wasn't making out already enough, but...I can't even say it now. s-e...no. I don't want to think about that. I feel like a piece of crap. Rephrase, a stupid piece of crap. I buried my head in my arms. I felt shame and anger rage in me, but a slight part of me almost didn't understand. Like, it thought that this was something foreign. I was confused and hurt.

I looked again at the white site. Empty and blank. Just like how I felt now about Raimundo. I considered our friendship in all this. Whether it was over or still alive. There was a quiet breeze, but some how as it passed me and touched my skin making a chill effect, I could have sworn I could hear the voice of...its no one really, just a voice who seemed to whisper to me one phrase, which got to me. Deep within me; making me contemplate and think. The blaze started again, the flakes twirled around me; I soon got fed up of this stupid contemplation of mine and jumped off the roof. This non sense is starting to get at me. Please, will someone rescue me before I really lose my sanity and do something I know I'll regret. As I fell, the white blaze swept my hair to the opposite side I had put it on. I landed making an impression on the soft snow. I sank as if I was in quicksand, but I stayed still. I sank until I felt the hard stone path beneath my soles. The snow had reached up to my knees. And now the cold from the snow spread through my body, as if it were a contagious virus. I looked to the floor and saw other footprints. There was only one person who could have made them. Raimundo. They carried on further down, until I could not see anything else but deep white. I jumped swiftly trying not to get stuck when I reached the end of the footprints.

"Raimund.." I stopped as the wind hurled at me. I couldn't finish as my mouth had gone even number, as I thought about this I heard my voice echo in the distance. The wind blew more fiercely and my eyes couldn't seem to handle the snowflakes running into my eyes and they shut. I was blinded.

"Raimun...Where are you?" once again the only thing that answered me was myself. The question seemed to echo back to me. I didn't care anymore about the situation. I pushed it right out of my mind, well, for the moment i suppose. I turned around slowly as the wind seemed to resist my movement and tried pushing me back. I put my arms in front of my face, I began to open my eyes and push myself against the force. Using up all my energy. What had I got myself into.

Rai's POV

Whirls of different shaped flakes flowed into me. The wind banged me around, pushing me backwards. I really shouldn't have done that. It was really wrong. Finally the wind slammed me against a tree. I had enough of this now. My friend, my mind and my own conscience was against me, now my own element had joined the 'Hate Raimundo Club' too. The rage and guilt swelled up in me and suddenly when a gust of wind twirled with snow came hurdling at me. I closed my eyes in fear and the very second it touched my tanned skin...it...stopped. Just died. I opened my eyes to see a clear view of the place. The wind didn't totally die down but everything seemed okay though. I expect that this is just the calm before the storm. I looked round and saw no footprints except my own. I turned round to see a figure walk off towards the cabin. Kim.

I ran off trying to catch up with Kim. She entered the cabin and I saw her disappear into the darkness. Soon I reached the cabin.

"K-k-kim..." I panted, trying to catch my breath.

"..."

"Kim, I was looking for you."

"..."

"Okay, okay. I get the point. I'm really sorry. I truly am. Please. Just hear me out."

"Fine."

"I'm sorry for what I did. And..."

"Go on..."

"This is not the way I wanted it to come out..."

"Okay then." she turned her back to face me.

"Okay okay. The truth is...I really like...I mean i-liked-you-and-i-got-confused-when-we-were-alone-because-feelings-came-back-but-iguessitwasnothingmore."

"Huh?"

"Erm..."

"Whatever. Just don't do it again." she replied in a way that makes you feel so awful it hurts. Sadness reigned within me; I felt so bad.

"I understand."

"Okay. Goodnight Raimundo." Ooh. She called me Raimundo. She never calls me Raimundo unless she's mad at me or something. I'm in deep water here or snow should I say. Hehe. NO stop, stop making jokes, look at what you got yourself into with all this joking around. What should I do? What? Think Rai, think...

She walked over to the bed. And laid down and held herself tightly. She was cold, so cold that she was shivering. I grabbed my blanket from the corner and strode over to her, I was about to cover her in it to give her warmth when I stopped in my action. I had heard a cold whisper

"Don't"

I tried to continue but another whisper flowed into my ears.

"Please, just...just go." I froze.

I stood there for at least a whole minute in that position. Then the shock finally died and I walked over to the couch and sulked. My head dived down into my hands. Tears were born from my eyes, they ran down my face and died in my mouth.

"Im sorry." I whispered but it came out more of a noise since I was-I hate to say this, but I was crying. My words were muddled up.

"I know."

I looked up at Kim. She was sitting up on the bed at the edge. I smiled, she tried to smile too but it barely came out, as if her muscles in her mouth refused to move.

Changing the subject...

"Um, well you know that you and let along me can't get to sleep so why not just play a game. You know. Remember you said truth or dare." I turned away just in case she exploded with rage at me and threw fireballs, or worse; if she rejected me in a cold manor.

"Um, I suppose...okay."

"Yess.."

"What?"

"Nothing."

She went over to the couch and grabbed her MP3 Player and put on one of the most saddening yet hip songs on earth. Time to Grow-by Lemar. And it began.

Last night I tried but I couldn't sleep
Thoughts of you were in my head
I was lonely and I needed you next to me
Life is harder since you left
I never meant to do you wrong
And now all is said and done
I hope you won't be gone too long/ No

Kim, I...

Where do I go
What do I do
I can't deny I still feel something
And girl, I wish you could say you feel the same
You've broken the bond
I gotta move on
But how do I end this lonely feeling?
You've gone, I'm here, alone
I guess it's time to grow

How do I...say I Love yoo...

She sat next to me on the floor in front of the fire place. I escaped my dream world and there I saw that heavenly site. I was surprised, surprised at her actions, I thought that she wouldn't even look at me let along sit next to me; but I guess I was wrong. I looked at her but instead she turned her focus onto the flames of fire. I saw it reflect onto her beautiful deep blue eyes. But I took a deeper look into them and noticed it wasn't of the fire place. It was her own fire in her. And it burned fiercely. Really fierce.

"Um..." I hesitated. She turned to face me, her expression blank, as blank as the view outside. But more pretty. A lot more. All my sentences seem broken, well, its like how I feel, so I suppose it all has to relate. Or in my world to relate and break up.

"Um...yeah lets start." I scratched my head and a tear drop of sweat fell. She smiled, it was a picture of perfection, a simple heaven that could devour me. I smiled back at her giving her a simple yet happy smile. It had finally come out, her angelic smile.

"Let the games begin!" I said acting as if everything was all okay again even though everything wasn't. I still felt the guilt in me. She let out a slight giggle. I guess she was trying to hide the fact that our friendship was still edgy with a bit of laughter, you could see it in her eyes. They looked dead. I guess its true what they say. Eyes are the window to the soul. Or at least a preview of it.

"Truth or dare?" i asked, rather uncomfortable. God here it comes...truth or dare? It begins...

"I think i'll just go with..."

a.n.

fini...wont get another update till um 3 weeks from now? august i suppose...sorry going on holiday in philippines! i'll leave u with some questions and a cliffy. poor kim...poor rai. please review, and i'll see if i can update, not making any promises though. animeang3l7