Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men: Evolution. And I don't own the song I think I'm paranoid either. Garbage does and it can be found on the album Version 2.0.
A/N: A lot of thanks to Be Kat who's agreed to beta-review this songfic! It's set in season 3, a little while after the episode 37: The toad, the witch and the wardrobe. So Wanda has already been brainwashed and Lance and Kitty have already broken up. By the way, John still doesn't have his accent 'cause I'm still utterly unable to write accents.
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I think I'm paranoid.
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This evening, John had gone out without Remy and Piotr. He didn't do such a thing very often since he was rapidly bored to death when his two best friends weren't with him. After all, who was he supposed to annoy if he was alone? But tonight, it was different. He neither wanted to irritate them nor wished for their company. He had come to the disco for another reason. He had come because he knew that she would be here.
The pyromaniac straightened up on his stool and turned his neck to get a better view of the table where the Brotherhood was chatting, laughing and drinking. Wanda was there, on the other side of the huge room, sitting on a bench between her twin brother and Lance and facing Fred and Todd who were slumped in their chairs. Fortunately, she didn't know that he was here, spying on her as he had done for the last few weeks. It was a good thing that she had never spotted him, since she would surely get exceedingly mad if she discovered that he was stalking her. But he couldn't help himself being fascinated by her and he just had to follow her everywhere to try to know her better and to grow closer to her at all costs.
The Aussie grabbed his glass of alcohol and let out a deep sigh before emptying it in one go. This evening, he had already drunk a lot more than he should have and he had begun to feel a bit giddy a good half-hour ago but he actually couldn't care less. He simply needed to get completely intoxicated to eventually feel better. Usually, he hadn't to resort to that sort of means as he was almost always in a good mood. But lately, he was really depressed. He felt miserable only because he was unable to get as close to the icy Scarlet Witch as he wished. These days she simply avoided him; it almost seemed that he had caught a strangely exotic and incurable disease, and that she was now afraid of becoming ill because of him.
'But Hell! She's so gorgeous!' he dreamingly mused as he watched her from afar.
He sighed once again and leaned his cheek on his fist, carrying on intently staring at the young woman dressed in leather. She was really stunning tonight with her tight black pants and her scarlet corset cut low in the back, revealing her alabaster skin. He wanted nothing more than to reach for it and let his fingers lightly slip over it in a feather-like caress. Pyro muffled a growl of frustration and merely contented himself with allowing his bright cerulean eyes to shamelessly wander on her tempting curves. Yes, she definitely deserved her codename; she was truly bewitching, in spirit as in body. And he could almost hear her sweet voice purring mockingly in his ear.
You can look, but you can't touch
I don't think I like you much
Heaven knows what a girl can do
Heaven knows what you've got to prove
John vigorously shook his head to clear his slightly woozy mind and abruptly came back to his senses. Here he was hallucinating! She was truthfully driving him even crazier than he already was! Or perhaps that was simply due to his faintly intoxicated state… But no matter - he swiftly ordered another whisky. He needed it. But as he absent-mindedly gave the money to the barman and took his glass of alcohol, he suddenly noticed that Wanda was no more at her table. Only Pietro, Fred and Todd were left.
The pyromaniac rapidly turned and glanced around, anxiously looking for her. After a few seconds, he finally caught sight of her on the stairs which allowed people to go down from the vast mezzanine where the bar and the tables were located. Apparently, she was heading to the dance floor which was situated below, on the ground floor. And she wasn't going alone. She was going with Lance! The Aussie immediately got up, leaving his seat and his drink behind him, and rushed towards the balustrade which protected the edges of the platform. He had to keep an eye on them since he didn't trust Alvers at all. Everybody knew that he hated dancing, so why did he have to go with her? Moreover, wasn't he supposed to date one of the X-Geeks? The cute little brunette who could walk through walls like a spook?
'Hmm… Nope! I completely forgot that she's once again dumped him like the loser he is!' he eventually remembered 'And now that jerk dares to go after my girl!' he realized as he tightly gripped the cool metal of the rail.
Alright, Wanda wasn't his girlfriend at all! But he was incredibly possessive and he just couldn't bear that another guy came too close to her. Especially when the bloke in question had recently broken up with his last true love, and was trying to get whatever comfort he could steal. If that was actually Avalanche's case! What if the young man was truly attracted to the Scarlet Witch? What if he was really trying to seduce her? On top of that, they lived in the same house and were certainly already good friends. After all, that sort of friendship could quickly evolve in something which was far more serious. That fact was definitely enough to worry Pyro and to convince him to watch out. What if Alvers stole the young woman from him when he wasn't paying attention?
I think I'm paranoid
And complicated
I think I'm paranoid
Manipulate it
John nonchalantly leaned on the barrier, looking deceptively bored in order to discreetly spy on the couple who had arrived on the dance floor. Unfortunately for him, the band on the stage had started to play a new song; a languorous slow dance. As he saw Lance taking Wanda in his arms, he firmly gritted his teeth and grasped the aluminium fence even more forcefully as if he wanted to twist it with his bare hands. His heart was consumed with jealousy. He would have given absolutely anything to be below under the coloured strobe lights, to hold her lean body against his, to feel her fingers playing lightly with his fiery orange hair. But he was here, behind the balustrade, a look of pure longing haunting his azure eyes whereas his rival was there, in her embrace, enjoying what should have been his.
He was still glaring at them, green with envy when the Scarlet Witch suddenly glanced up and spotted him. Her deep blue eyes slightly widened as she recognized the pyromaniac and she swiftly lowered them as if she couldn't stand the sight of him more than a few seconds and didn't want to spoil her dance by gazing at him. Then, inch by inch, she got closer to her partner, eventually resting her head on his shoulder, burying her face in his neck.
He immediately narrowed his eyes at her action. He just couldn't believe it! Avalanche hadn't pulled her against him. She had clutched him herself! Didn't she know perfectly well how he felt about her, and how much it hurt to watch her in someone else's clasp? He could tell she did. They had spent a lot of time together before she had decided to avoid him like the plague, and he couldn't understand why she wished to wound him that much. He had often come to the Brotherhood boarding house, and they had had some nice moments together. Granted, they weren't best friends and she had never agreed to completely open up to him. But the young woman didn't hate him at all, he would stake his life on it. After all, she was able to bear him incredibly easily, and she had never hexed him into a wall very harshly. He had even managed to coax a smile out of her an amazing amount of times. At one point, he had begun to believe that something was possible between them, that she slightly trusted him and that she returned some of his feelings. But now, it only seemed that she wanted to make him jealous, to disgust him, to drive him away…
'What the Hell do you think you're doing Sheila?' the Aussie wondered as he bit his lower lip hard.
Bend me, break me
Anyway you need me
All I want is you
Bend me, break me
Breaking down is easy
All I want is you
Pyro kept on watching the couple during the entire dance, his finely chiselled features faintly twisted by the pain and the resentment. He really didn't understand what he had done to deserve that. But maybe he hadn't done anything at all… Perhaps he was right from the start… What if Wanda truly felt something towards him? She would act exactly like she had just done! She would fight against her unwanted emotions and struggle to get rid of them as if they were some disgusting garbage. That was so typical of her! She always wanted to look like a frozen and heartless bitch who didn't love anyone and who didn't need anyone's love. She only wished to seem unattainable and unbreakable like a beautiful and majestic statue carved in stainless steel.
But that wasn't at all how John saw life. He knew that it was useless to try to protect himself from everything. First, because it was purely and simply impossible. Absolutely everybody had their Achilles' heel and could be hurt by something. Some were paralyzed by their fears, some were chained to their past, some were overwhelmed by their feelings, some were manipulated by the ones they loved… The list was endless. And second, because it just spoiled life. Being alive didn't mean feeling nothing, turning into an empty shell, walking aimlessly like a hollow ghost without a heart nor a soul. On the contrary, emotions were the key and he never felt more alive than when they were burning him from inside like a wild and untameable firestorm.
'We really don't have the same view of the world.' he merely thought, relaxing slightly as the song ended and the couple on the dance floor finally broke apart.
In fact, the Scarlet Witch and him were poles apart and the pyromaniac had often wondered why he was so much in love with her. Especially when she treated him like a dog to chase him away. Well… She was truly breathtaking of course but that wasn't enough. At first, he had believed that it was because he couldn't have her. After all, she wasn't the easy girl next-door and it seemed that she really didn't give a damn about him. On top of that, she was his boss's daughter! It was strictly forbidden to lay a finger on her. But he had quickly realized that he wasn't attracted to her because of the difficulty or the danger. He was attracted to her because she was a profound and complicated person, and particularly because he had seen past the thick protective walls which surrounded her and discovered a fragile and sensitive girl who was only craving for a little bit of love like absolutely everybody else.
But that sweet facet of her personality which touched him so much was almost always hidden in deep and dark shadows, and he could only gaze upon the strong and determined young woman who relied on nobody but herself, who didn't need anyone to support her. He knew that she would never spontaneously allow herself to really care about someone because she considered that feeling as a weakness. On top of that, she was exceedingly stubborn and would not admit that her ways of thinking were stupid and ridiculous. She would never simply drop them and forget all about them. He could nearly hear her perfectly calm and controlled voice explaining to him her bloody rules of conduct.
I fall down just to give you a thrill
Prop me up with another pill
If I should fail, if I should fold
I nailed my faith to the sticking pole
The Aussie slowly shook his head, dismissing those thoughts, and merely watched Lance and Wanda climbing the stairs to join once again the other boys who were waiting for them at their table on the mezzanine. He couldn't help himself being strangely relieved. After all, Alvers would never dare to chat her up with her twin brother and their other two friends around to make fun of him. But as the Scarlet Witch had almost reached the platform, she abruptly tripped over something he couldn't see and fell backwards… Right in Lance's arms!
Pyro immediately felt another wild surge of jealousy overrunning him when the young woman faintly smiled at her companion to thank him for having caught her. That soft smile was the one she flashed at him whenever she was in a bad mood and he eventually managed to amuse her with a lame joke or a crazy cocky comment. That was just unfair! She didn't have the right to grin like that at anyone else. It was her token of affection for him alone, an intimate gesture between them which shouldn't be shared with anybody else. And Avalanche above all didn't deserve it!
'But what if she's thrown herself on him on purpose once more?' John suddenly wondered in horror.
After all, perhaps he was mistaken from day one… Maybe she had never felt anything for him at all and he had just imagined it, alone in one of his raving moments… What if he had been indulging in wishful thinking? She still remained an intriguing and mysterious girl, and he had possibly assumed that he understood her far better than he actually did. He was really lost and didn't know what to believe anymore. What if she behaved that coldly towards him only because she simply wasn't interested in him? What if it was Alvers that the young woman had wanted since the start?
I think I'm paranoid
Manipulate it
I think I'm paranoid
And complicated
He shot him another nasty look as Lance helped Wanda to recover her balance. It almost seemed that he was a handsome knight in shining armour who was rescuing his beloved damsel in distress. Arg! It was positively unbearable! Right now, the pyromaniac wanted nothing more than to make a dash for the stairs and to move him apart from the Scarlet Witch by any means. A part of him knew that he was overreacting and that Alvers had actually prevented her from seriously injuring herself, but the other part was blinded by his jealousy and simply wished that the young man had never been born.
So when Avalanche kept her hand gently clasped in his and efficiently cleared a path through the crowd to lead them securely to their table, John clenched his fists in spite. Why didn't she tear herself from his grasp? Usually, she hated being mothered by anyone. She couldn't possibly allow him to do that because she had a soft spot on him, could she? Not that insufferable moron who took advantage of the situation to play the tender and caring guy! The pyromaniac would scratch his eyes out to teach him to chase after the beautiful young woman. He could almost feel his blood boiling in his veins, his entire being burning with anger.
'Yeah, yeah… You've saved her! Fabulous! It's mesmerizing!' he thought irately as he walked towards the bar to join his first observation post once again 'But now, just get your dirty hands off of her you lumbering fool!'
The Aussie flopped on his stool and violently grabbed his whisky which was miraculously still here. Then he downed his drink in one go like he had downed all the other ones before fumbling in his pocket, searching for his dear silver lighter. He truly needed to calm down! When he was in this state of ultimate fury, toying with his pride and joy was the only thing which could help him. He immediately began to nervously flick the lid open and closed at a demented pace, producing that faint sound which always got on everybody's nerves amazingly rapidly. He could hear it perfectly well despite the deafening hubbub. Usually, he found the noise incredibly relaxing and instantly felt the urge of giggling manically as he noticed everyone else's annoyance. But today it wasn't working, and he grew even angrier with every muffled click.
He tensely glanced once more at the table on the other side of the immense mezzanine. Wanda and Lance were now sitting on the bench like before. She had a guilty and ashamed pout plastered on her scarlet lips and the young man had put an arm around her shoulders as he told something to their friends with a sly smirk. When he finally broke off, the boys all burst in laughter whereas the Scarlet Witch became as red as a beetroot. Alvers slightly shook his head at her reaction before playfully elbowing her in the ribs and dropping a light kiss on her cheek. That was enough! How dare he? Pyro swiftly flicked the lid of his lighter open and made a small flame shoot out before drawing the tiny spark to his palm in order to shape it into a larger blazing orb. That was it! He didn't care at all about showing his powers off as long as he would blow Avalanche's head off and get the young woman back!
Bend me, break me
Anyway you need me
All I want is you
Bend me, break me
Breaking down is easy
All I want is you
John was about to get up and to rush to the Brotherhood table so as to tear Lance to pieces when Wanda suddenly left her seat and walked hastily towards the bar. Perhaps she had seen the small fireball which was burning in his fist and had guessed what he was going to do… He just wasn't in his normal state and simply couldn't take any more. Nonetheless, he faintly cooled down as she sat on the stool near him a few moments later. After all, she was away from his rival now.
"What do you think you were doing luv?" he hissed, still angry.
"And you? What do you think you're doing?" she snapped back like a shot "Recklessly using your powers in front of everybody's nose like that? Do you want to get beaten up by some mutant-haters? Extinguish that right away for Heaven's sake!" she ordered, nodding at the bolt of fire which crackled in his hand.
"Since when do you worry about my wellbeing Sheila?" he asked with a hollow and bitter laugh "Are you sure that it isn't your dear Alvers that you're trying to protect instead? You're afraid that I irremediably damage his pretty face, aren't you?"
"But what are you talking about?" she questioned, knitting her brows in puzzlement.
"You know perfectly well about what!" he sneered with a harsh and acidic tone.
The Scarlet Witch didn't reply and just stared at him with an incredulous expression displayed on her attractive features. She seemed to genuinely not understand what he meant but the pyromaniac couldn't help himself thinking that she was only faking to shield Avalanche from him a little bit longer. Nevertheless, her large shining eyes seemed so sincere! There wasn't the slightest hint of deceit in their midnight blue depths and so he slowly softened, turning the fiery orb back into a dimly reddening spark. Hell! He could forgive her everything when she was watching him with these eyes! He was even about to apologize for his aggressive behaviour when he suddenly looked over her shoulder and noticed the rest of the Brotherhood glancing in their general direction while smirking and snickering.
"What's their problem?" he spat, his blinding rage immediately resurfacing "Are they looking for a fight or what?"
Paranoid
I think I'm paranoid
"In fact, they're making fun of me." the young woman calmly answered as she briefly turned around to gaze at her friends "I almost fell flat on my face on the stairs a little while before but fortunately Lance caught me. And now they're all laughing their heads off because I almost twisted my ankle with those new shoes they'd expressly told me not to buy! But I hadn't listened to them at that time and I'd purchased those boots nonetheless, even though they'd cost a fortune. Stupid boys who don't understand anything about fashion! I guess that they're quite happy to have been right though." she mumbled grudgingly "Lance even offered to carry me here to make sure that I wouldn't injure myself on the way! God! I'll never hear the end of it!"
"You're interested in fashion? You? And you go shopping with them?" Pyro suspiciously asked, arching an eyebrow "I just don't believe it! And what's more, you didn't really protest when Alvers was clutching your hand and didn't want to let it go!"
"I'm still a girl, and I live alone with four guys in case you didn't notice! Who do you think I can go to when I need a piece of advice?" she replied coldly "And even if I didn't break anything it still hurt a lot at the time."
"Yeah, I know well enough that you're a charming siren who enjoys enslaving every close bloke, thank you very much!" he snarled, his hot temper getting the better of him and the small flame in his palm faintly swelling once again "That's why you threw yourself on Avalanche during the dance too, huh? He really doesn't deserve you! Just to let you know luv!"
But as the sharp words left his mouth, the Aussie suddenly wondered if he was actually worthy of her himself. After all, the first time they had met, he had pushed her over a bridge and set the entire structure on fire in order to make it collapse. However, he hadn't done it because he had wanted to, he had only followed Magneto's orders. But nevertheless, he could have seriously harmed her or even killed her that day. And Wanda didn't even remember their tragic real first meeting! She couldn't even hold him the grudge she had the right to. And that was because of him too. It was him who had helped her father to draw her to the Acolyte base. He had known for what purpose he had had to do that! But it hadn't stopped him from carrying on with his mission. And now he hadn't even the guts to tell her the truth, to reveal to her that she had been brainwashed; and he wanted her love into the bargain!
'I'm nothing but a coward!' John thought bitterly, completely disgusted with himself 'I shouldn't even dare to look her in the eyes after all I've done to her!'
On the other hand, Todd and Pietro didn't tell her anything either, even if one was supposed to be more or less her friend and the other was her own brother! After all, the Scarlet Witch was far happier now that she didn't remember her horrid past spent in a gloomy asylum. She could start anew now that she wasn't obsessed by her revenge against her father anymore. And he could help her to learn to truly enjoy life if only she let him. That would be his way to make amends. It couldn't be wrong to try to be happy together, could it? But he knew that he would always feel a crushing guilt due to his previous actions. The young woman still bore the deep scars collected in her forgotten past even if her memories were utterly blurred. Her entire view of the world, her general behaviour towards life was a sure proof of that fact. And besides, if one day she realized that her mind had been messed up and if she remembered everything, it would really get very ugly…
"I've never done such a thing!" she vehemently denied, abruptly putting an end at his ramblings "Let's just say that even if Lance hates dancing, he's quite good at it and I merely got a little carried away… But I really don't see why I've to justify myself to you anyway!"
Bend me, break me
Anyway you need me
All I want is you
Bend me, break me
Breaking down is easy
All I want is you
"Really? Don't you have the slightest idea? Can't you tell how I feel about you?" the pyromaniac asked with a cocky smirk "And don't you realize how you feel about me?" he boldly added, although he wasn't sure of himself at all and he knew that he was truly playing with fire on that one.
But he liked living dangerously and sometimes, taking risks paid. As in the case right now. Wanda was just staring at him speechless, her full scarlet lips faintly parted in a way that was only giving him the overpowering urge to lean in and to kiss her breath away. Nevertheless, he restrained himself and simply kept on intently studying her features. Apparently, he had really thrown the naked truth right in her face. She looked like she was thinking very hard to quickly find a cutting remark to deny his last statement and her unusual hesitation was enough an answer for him. She wasn't shaken by Avalanche, she was burning for him! He would stake his life on it! Now he could leave his miserable and depressed state far behind him and go back to his old good exuberant and joyful personality. He was reborn at last!
"How couldn't I tell?" she eventually said, purposely avoiding the subject of her emotions "You were spying on me the entire evening, stalking me like a dangerous psychopath! I knew you were a bit insane, but not that you were raving mad! You're truthfully a desperate case!"
Steal me, deal me, anyway you heal me
"Of course I'm a psycho!" he let out cheerfully, his overjoyed mood already back on him "But that's why you love me!"
"You're just utterly crazy!" the Scarlet Witch repeated as the blood started to rush to her cheeks.
"Yeah, we all know that by now. And that definitely wasn't your best reply!" he exclaimed with a knowing smile before flashing a cheeky wink at her "Come on Sheila! Stop avoiding me! Your feelings are not shameful! Simply let yourself go!"
Maim me, tame me, you can never change me
"Absolutely anything felt for you is shameful unless it's hatred!" she snapped, trying her best to sound as icy as usual "And stop acting as if you knew how I feel better than I do!"
"I'm so wounded! But a lot less than I was a few moments before. In fact, I was rather at a loss at that time." the Aussie genuinely confessed, deciding to give her the lead and to lay out his emotions first "I thought that Alvers and you were attracted to each other. And I was going to blow his head off! But I know better now. You're very confusing when you're running away and carefully hiding. But when you're lamely trying to explain yourself, and when I can see your face, everything becomes crystal-clear!"
"Lance and me? Together?" she asked, her dark blue eyes wide with shock "We're nothing but friends and he's still completely infatuated with his beloved Kitty! It's almost frightening sometimes! So you really don't need to wor…" she continued before abruptly interrupting herself and coming back to her senses "God! You're truly living in your own faraway little world! So let's make that truthfully clear, I don't give a damn about you!"
Love me, like me, come ahead and fight me
"My, my… You're such a poor liar!" Pyro blissfully cackled, now definitely sure of himself "Are you still upset because all of this stalking business? You know… I can seduce you the right, romantic, and totally mushy way too… Let's see how long you can resist me!"
He deviously smirked as he quickly moulded the tiny flame he still hold in his hand into a bird and sent it flying to her palm. The fiery creature gracefully landed on her pale skin and the young woman could easily notice that it was a very realistic peacock with glowing ruby red eyes and long golden feathers. It really looked like a jewel although it was made of pure fire. But it wasn't a motionless wonderful piece of craftsmanship. On the contrary, it almost seemed to have a life of its own, immediately spreading its tail as it started to proudly parade on her inner arm, causing a warm teasing and tickling sensation to run through her limb at every step.
Please me, tease me, go ahead and leave me
"I already told you before to extinguish that! Toying with your powers here is definitely a very bad idea!" she snapped before curiously looking a bit more closely at his fantastic creation "But actually, how come it doesn't scorch?"
"Don't worry luv! Nobody pays attention and it's hardly noticeable with all those strobe lights anyway…" he assured, almost overconfidently "I know what I do. I can control its heat as much as I can control its shape. So of course it doesn't sear! I really don't think that setting you on fire in that way is such a good plan to win your heart. I'm not that insane yet! But if you truly want me to extinguish it, then so be it!"
As he finished his last sentence, he swiftly sent the bird flying towards her face. It lightly crashed on her mouth and instantaneously vanished as a pleasantly hot and tingling feeling lingered behind it. It almost seemed like her lips had been captured by an unseen and passionate phantom which left them bruised and swallowed in his fervour. And she was actually guiltily aching for more.
"I knew I'd eventually manage to give you a burning kiss!" John laughed before leaning forwards to conspiratorially whisper in her ear "And believe me Sheila, I can even do far better than that! Do you want me to show you?"
"No! Just… Just clear off. Out my sight!" Wanda hastily stuttered as she delightfully shivered under his warm breath, obviously troubled by his closeness and his audacity "Just leave me be!"
Bend me
Break me
Anyway you need me
As long as I want you baby it's all right
"Is the temptation already too much for you luv? Are you afraid of giving in?" he smirked as he slowly pulled back "As you wish then. I'll leave you alone… For now."
The Aussie flashed a last cunning grin at her before getting up and turning his back on her, letting her ponder on the situation. He rapidly cleared himself a way into the swarm of carefree human beings and soon disappeared, swallowed by the crowd. He himself had never felt so light-hearted in his entire life. After all, the inaccessible Scarlet Witch was actually feeling something for him! It was a glorious day indeed! Or a glorious night rather. Of course, she was still trying to pointlessly fight against her emotions, but he was sure that it wouldn't be long before she would realize that it was useless. Being left alone, rambling again and again about the same obsessing thing could drive him mad, but it could also provide an incredible insight. Pyro knew that much. And when she would finally fail miserably to drive him away, he would be there in order to kiss her and make it better.
'And I was worried that she had a crush on Alvers! That was just ridiculous!' he told himself, almost giggling hysterically at that idea 'Sometimes, I think I'm paranoid!'
Bend me
Break me
Anyway you need me
As long as I want you baby it's all right
&!&!&!&!&!&!&
A/N: It's finished! That's my very first attempt at a songfic and I really didn't plan to write such a long thing. I guess that it's just slipped out of my control… Anyway, let me know what you think but please don't be too harsh.