Christophe 1: Hello we are here to force Seto to do the disclaimer.
Christophe 2: That's right Christophe!
Christophe 1: Shut up nobody said you could talk!
Seto: Mumph
Lorenzo 1: Dudes you did not take off the Duct Tape did you?
Christophe 1: We were going to get round to it soon! removes Duct Tape from Seto's mouth
Seto: Help I have been kidnapped!
Christophe 1: Hits Seto with wet fish Bad Dog! That's not what you are supposed to say!
Seto: Ouch! Okay fine fine! I will do the damned Disclaimer!
Christophe 1: Good dog.
Seto: Okay the crazy people who wrote this fic do not own Yu-Gi-Oh god forbid. Nor do they own any of the Yu-Gi-Oh characters. Happy now.
Christophe 1: Yes that will do for now…
all leap into fic
Cairis's POV
"All hail the evil Diablo of Kaiba slapping." I laughed as Diablo walked out of the room. "I don't think she heard me. Oh well shit happens." Everyone was silent and staring at me especially poor ol' Kaiba ha-ha he got slapped.
"I'm gonna hav' ta see if she's alrigh', an' congratulate 'er on wha' she did." Joey said incoherently. I can't stand the way he talks.
"Yeah you do that Fiona." I said.
"Fiona?" He looked over at he. "Who da hecks Fiona?"
"Joey equals Fiona in my book." I said knowing that they all probably thought I was crazy as a coconut. "Diablo!" I called I needed back up.
"Diablo's not here it's just the Lorenzos'!" She called back.
"Yeah but everyone is givin' me funny looks!" I called back this was a very true statement.
Lara came into the room well her head did at any rate the rest of her was still behind the door. "Why?"
"Well I called Fiona Fiona and they think I am mad as a spoon."
"Who'd you called Fiona?" Lara asked.
"Rember Joey back at school?" I asked for Joeys true name was Fiona.
"You mean Fiona?" She asked me shaking her head.
"Yup that Joey." I grinned.
"Her name is not Joey. It is Fiona." Lara sighed.
"I don't think I have called her by anything else for a long time Dee Dee." I said and laughed as Lara growled at me.
"What the hell are you two talking about?" Tristan asked us.
I turned to him and grinned. "Nothink. Now perhaps you should get back to the Lorenzos' Diablo… Oooh can I use your puter to dement them all please?"
"Let me check the power card amount first." Lara said then wandered off.
I lent back in my seat as I waited forgetting that Bakura was behind me. "Ger off me already!" He managed to say before being totally squished.
I turned and looked at him. "But you are too comfy. So I can't and won't get off."
"Is anyone going to give me a hand?" Bakura asked. Nobody answered him for a moment.
"Better you than me." Ryou said and something seemed to strike Bakura.
"No no you'd be better sitting on him. He is softer than me. He goes for all the soppy soft stuff." Bakura said, trying to save himself.
Just as I was about to answer him Lara came back in. "Okay we have power. You can use the computer."
"Yay!" I jumped off of Bakura and he sighed with relief. "Do that again and I'll sit on you at the computer!" I warned him. Needless to say, he didn't look too chuffed about that. "Actually, I might take you with me anyway!" I grabbed Bakura in a headlock, dragged him over to the computer chair, dumped him into it and sat on him. I think I heard a very faint "Ow" coming from the poor guy.
"Was that really necessary Chairo?" Lara asked me. I looked up at her. Just then, Seto butted in the evil bastard…
"Who the hell are you people? I have heard you call each other three different names each."
I turned round in the chair in a rather James Bond bad guy style. I really should have had a fluffy white cat on my lap but I would have to make do with Bakura's fluffy white hair behind my head. "I have been expecting you… to ask that question Mr. Bond…" I felt pretty happy when I saw the look of confusion on Seto's face. "You could call me your worst nightmare but that is rather mean. I have a great many names so I shall give you a list. I have the internet names of Bunneh and Chairo, the husband name of Christophe and the real life name of Cairis or Kes. Your turn Dee Dee."
She grinned and said, "My internet name is Diablo, my husband name is Lorenzo and my real life name is Lara."
"Wait a second husband name?" Poor guy was really confused. I really needed sticky cat.
"Yes it all started when I was bitten by a genetically modified homosexual man…" I heard someone fall off the sofa behind me. "Or so to say it is more of a personal joke thing between me and some of my younger sisters friends and some of my friends and my ex and one of his friends and this wee guy I don't really know. Come to think of it is not very personal." I concluded. "Let me think there are a lot of us." Silence…. "I can hear the crickets now." I said and looked around at everyone even Lara was being quiet but I think that she was trying really hard not to laugh. "Lara shall I show em one of the fics?" I asked.
This time she did actually laugh. "Sure thing if you can find a good one."
"Okay Seto and Yami I want you to read this." I said getting off of Bakura a few minutes later. "It will give you a wee taster of what your fans in this world write about you." I said as Bakura scrambled off of the seat.
"O…kay…" Seto said striding across the room and with difficulty sat down on the chair. The lowness of the chair and his trench coat causing him a few problems. Yami wandered over and stood behind the chair leaning forwards to read the words. After a few minutes Yami sprang back from the chair and Seto buried his head in his hands. "Why'd you have to show us that?" He asked. "I feel sick."
"Your not the only one." Yami groaned collapsing onto the sofa and looking all dramatic.
Both me and Lara were laughing and clinging onto each other for support. "Would you like to see a Yami Yugi one?" I asked still laughing.
"NO!" Yami said looking ill.
Yugi tilted his head to the side. "Come lad and you can see for yourself." I said with an evil smile.
"NO!" Came from Yami again. "You don't want to read that Yugi!"
"Oh shut up." Lara said but the damage was done and Yugi looked worried.
"I think I will have to go with Yami on this one." He said ever trusting in his Yami.
"I don't think we will get anyone else to read any of them fan fics." I sighed. "Perhaps Seto should pay a visit to the bathroom he looks like he is gonna be sick. Sheesh it was not that bad."
"Was so." Yami said. "I don't think I am going to be able to trust you two… at all."
"No you can trust me just not her." Lara jabbed me in the side with her elbow.
"Hmm." He raised an eyebrow grr I envy people who can do that. "I am not sure about that."
Lara stuck her tongue out at him. "Meh."
"Wow we are in separate bodies!" Ryou exclaimed looking at his Yami.
"You just noticed?" Bakura asked.
"Yeah!"
"You idiot!" Bakura groaned. I turned to watch them as did everyone else. I took this opportunity to sit back down on the chair.. forgetting Seto was there.
"OW!" I heard from the chair.
"Wow the chair talks!" I grinned and some people in the room turned their attention away from the Yami's and Hikari's who were currently being amazed about having their own bodies.
"Chairo your sitting on Seto." Lara said laughing.
"I wondered why the chair was so boney all of a sudden." I said looking over my shoulder. "Hello Setho!"
"Now I know how Bakura felt." He sighed.
"Sheesh do you eat? Your bonier than Lara!" I said shifting slightly in my new seat… sorry I mean Seto.
"Thanks for that." Lara shook her head. "It's really appreciated."
"Your welcome!" I grinned. In the corner where he had retreated to Bakura was laughing at Seto's misfortune. "Hmm I wonder what would happen if I stacked em up?"
"Don't try it!" Went both Seto and Bakura, makes you feel loved don't it?
Lara covered her eyes and groaned. "You always have to be a weirdo don't ya?"
"Yup tis my job and I love it so." I said.
"Right then." Lara gave me that 'your crazy' look again
I looked up at a clock on the wall of the living room. "Tis nearly nine Dee Dee." I said and look around at the assembled group of amine characters. "We can watch the tv show and dement your guests even more!"
"Hey your right but my TV blew…" She trailed off and I turned to see what she was staring at. "How the hell did that happen?"
"Well your TV looks fine to me Dee." I said. "In fact I would say it looks really new and shineh."
"Yeah but it blew up when everyone came through!" She sighed.
"Yeah but it's fixed now so we can watch it!" I said jumping up from my 'seat'. "You are free to go for now Seto." I said then sat down on the floor.
"Yugi pass us the remote." Lara asked the mini man. "it's the black one." She added.
After Yugi had handed over the remote Lara put on the show. To say the least everyone looked pretty surprised to see themselves on the tv in such a way. Sadly it was an episode that just so happened to be part of a big duel. So it was full of trap card and anti-trap cards and anti-anti-tarp cards. I was verging on falling asleep.
BOOM!
The tv exploded for apparently the second time that day. Everyone in the room was knocked back by the force of the blow and then darkness.
I heard someone shout. "Not again!" I had a sneaking suspicion it was Lara but then again it could have been Bakura or Seto because there were PEOPLE sitting on nearly everyone in the room. I was happily free of people though haha!
"Argh! He's big and he's heavy and wearing a pimp suit! Ger him off!" That was most defiantly Lara. I looked over at her and poor lass she had Pegasus on her lap. I burst into a fit of laughter. After a quick look around the room it was revealed that the only other person people free was Yugi good for him.
I looked back at Seto he was currently leaning as far back into the chair as he could to avoid the dreaded Gramps! Well, dreaded to him at least…
Ryou was encumbered by the mighty weight that was Mokuba, Yami had Ishezu squatting on him and I think Lara was throwing her a look that could kill… (hehe Lara fancies Yami) ..Bakura was being sat on by Malik. Serenity was sitting on her older brother who looked just a bit dazed. Tea tiny girl that she is was being squished by Mai and Tristan was being sat upon by Duke.
Lara, however wouldn't stop yelling for someone to get Pegasus off of her. Pegasus was looking mighty confused.
I saw a chance to make things all the more confusing for the newcomers. I jumped to my feet. "Greeting and welcome newcomers to the planet Zog!"
"CAIRIS!" Lara shouted a cushion flew through the air and hit me on the head. "You will confuse them more!"
"Yeah that was kinda the whole idea." I sighed then walked up to Pegasus. "Well stop squishing Diablo and get up we have much to discus. Me and Diablo that is."
Pegasus gave me a strange look then got of my poor squished friendy. "Hola." I said as Lara managed to get to her feet. "Houston we have a problem."
"Yeah I know." She said. "There had just been a pervert sitting on my lap!"
"Hey!" I heard Pegasus shout but I ignored him.
"Good now that you two are acquainted you can keep him!"
"Right we are going to discus this responsibly." Before I knew what was happening I was being dragged out of the room.
Before we were out the door Lara turned to the group. "Everyone stay!" And then she dragged me out the door.
When we were both safe in Lara's room we sat down to discus the fate of those in the living room.
"Well who's taking who?" I asked her looking at a huge poster of Jack Sparrow that was pinned to her wall.
"I bags Yami and Yugi!" She called out.
"I had a feeling you'd say that." I sighed. "Now get some paper or something while we work out who's getting who."
2 hours later
Me and Lara were sitting on the bottom bunk watching Dogma. We had kinda forgotten about the group of anime characters in the living room. I guess that we had dismissed the fact that they existed as pure fantasy. It had just gotten to the climax of movie.
There was a knock at the bedroom door and we both jumped in the air. "What the fuck was that?" I asked.
"I dunno." Lara said and there was another knock on the door.
"Who is it?" I asked. Lara looked at me like I was crazy again!
"Erm it's Yugi." His voice came through the door.
Me and Lara looked at each other then back at the door.
"Err yes about that we kinda forgot you." I said.
"Come in!" Lara said in a sing song voice.
The door opened and we could not see the wall for the hall way was packed with the YGO cast.
"Hey you guys are watching a movie! I want to watch a movie. Why did you not invite us in to watch a move I need cheese!" Mokuba blurted out. Seto looked at him as if he was mad and sighed.
"Okay… right so why did you ALL have to troupe in here?" I asked.
Bakura stood watching Bartleby kill Loki. "Aw, how come you get to watch people getting killed?" he moaned.
"Because I am a special bunny!" I answered him. "And well Lara is just a weirdo.. OUCH!" Lara had thwacked the back of my head with her hand.
I retaliated by kicking her in the side which was pretty easy since I was lying down at the time and her side was at kick height. She then bit me the evil bitch.
Pretty soon we were having a full fledged fight that was still fun () we do have fun when fighting because we be weirdoes.
Whilst we were having a great time some people got it into their heads that they should separate us. Pegasus and Seto were those people. So after They had managed to pull as apart Lara began shouting, demanding that the man in the pimp suit release her. As you can imagine Pegasus was not happy about the comment about his clothes.
"I am not wearing a pimp suit!" He shouted.
"Are to." Lara said.
"Dee two." I said still feeling pretty happy. Lara began to laugh and once again people looked at us as if we were mad. It gets pretty damn annoying after a while.
"Well interesting though this may be we need to know what you two are planning on do to us." Yami said leaning against the wall.
"Get off the Jack Sparrow poster!" Lara shouted at him. I did not expect that since she luffs him so much and she had a real life Yami so a poster Jack would surely come second. Clearly this was not the case.
Yami looked over his shoulder and was confronted by the stare of Cappin Jack. He jumped away from the wall and crashed into me and Seto sending us both flying. I ended up hitting my head off the metal framework of Lara's bunk bed ouch. By the looks of it something similar had happened to Seto but due to his extra height he was hit across his upper back by the nasty metal. Haha.
Lara managed to free herself of Mr. Pimp suit and was busy laughing at our misfortune. Yami looked awfully guilty and several other people were trying not to laugh at us.
"Told you to stay away from the Captain!" Lara laughed at Yami. I think a wink went along with it o.O
Yami blushed and mumbled something that sounded like an apology to me and Seto.
Mokuba ran over to his older brother after managing to push his way through the crowd. They then began to fuss over each other therefore I grew bored and looked around at everyone else in the room.
"Tis just a bit crowded in here." I observed.
"Really? I would have never guessed." Lara said rolling her eyes.
There was a knock at the door. Lara went to answer it. She was very nearly skipping and she said she was not on drugs. That's the last time I believe her.
I would of followed her but I was in pain. I hate Lara's bed.
When Lara opened the door everyone but me and Seto were behind her. I did not know at first who had been at the door but it was a pretty safe bet that it was Steph.
"Oh shit she fainted." I heard Lara's voice. "Come on lets get her inside."
Then Lara came in carrying Steph with the help of Yami. I got off the bed clutching the back of my head. Steph was then put on the bed she would have a rather pleasant surprise when she sees Seto. I was not sure that it would be as much fun for him. The poor guy was still rocking back and forth clutching his back as it was still killing him.
I sat down on a chair that was nearly completely hidden by Lara's stuff and it was a whole lot of stuff.
"Would you lot mind going back to the living room you are making the place look untidy." I said to the huge group of anime characters. Some of them went away soon after I said it whilst others decided to hang around like bad smells anyway.
After about ten minutes Lara had managed to get Steph to wake up. As I suspected she was pretty damn happy to see Seto.
"Oh good god I must be dreaming!" She said leaping on Seto.
"It's not a dream." I said to her laughing at the look on Seto's face if only I had a camera. I heard the horrible squelch noise that told me Lara had take a picture with her camera phone.
"So you were not lying!" Steph exclaimed at Lara whilst strangling Seto with a hug. (Ha ha Seto haha)
"Well no." Lara sighed. She then brightened up and grabbed Yami who had been one of the people who decided to stick around. "Look it's the HAIR!" She said pointing to his multi-colored hair.
"Steph I think you should let Seto go." I said.
"Why?" She asked me looking slightly confused.
"He is turning blue." I answered looking at his face. (Mwahahaha)
"Oh." She sighed and loosened her grip on him slightly.
Seto gasped for air. "Who is this crazy woman?" He asked.
"Fan girl." I said.
"Crazed fan girl." Lara corrected me.
"So that's what you were talking about earlier." Yami said knowingly.
"I don't care about earlier just get her off me!" Seto shouted.
"That's not very nice Kaiba-boy!" Pegasus poked his head round the door.
"Hey Sir Pimpalot! I wanted to say that!" I shouted.
"I am no pimp!" He shouted back at me.
"Get out of my room!" Lara roared at him over the din.
Pegasus took the hint and left at top speed.
"Right then I thinks you should give Seto some breathing room my crazed fan girl buddy." Lara said giving Steph's arm an experimental tug.
"Aww okay." She sighed and climbed off of Seto. As soon as he was free to move Seto bolted out of the room and into the living room.
"So Steph are you willing to take any of them home with you?" Lara asked her friend who looked rather upset at Seto's sudden departure.
"Well I would love to but I can't." She sighed. "My parents are still here and I don't think they would like having a bunch of strangers move in."
"SHIT!" Came from Lara. "I forgot about that." She sighed. "We will have to split them two ways." She said to me.
"Well I will have to get back home before this gets any weirder." Steph said.
"Yeah things are going to get messy later when I start removing some hair." I said grinning and ignoring Lara's glare.
Steph nodded and soon she was gone. Me and Lara went through to the living room the few that had stuck around followed us.
"Right then hello people we are going to split you up now." I announced to the room. "And since I am such a nice person Lara can have the creepy old perverts!"
"HEY!" Lara glared at me then stole my evil grin. "I set my Yami on you." She said.
"Oh no not this again." I moaned before playing along. My hands flew to my throat and too bad for me there was not a wall nearby. So I ended up on the floor strangling myself. Lara just stood there watching me and most of the other people in the room looked shocked and horrified by the event.
"Okay you can stop now." Lara laughed.
I stopped trying to choke myself and got to my feet. "About time." I said. "Now lets divide the groups." I pulled a piece of paper out of my pocket and a pencil. I then jotted down the names of everyone in the room. "Okay so I already know the first four for you Lara." I said.
"Oh really?" Lara asked raising an eyebrow.
"Yup. Gramps, Peggy, Yams and Yugi." I nodded.
"Now who are you getting?" She asked me.
"Can I have the Psychos?" I asked looking hopeful.
"With pleasure. I don't want them!" Lara said. "And you can have Ryou as well."
"Oh goody." I looked at the list and wrote a small note next to some of the names to remind myself where they were going. "You can have Anzu."
"Fine if you have to get the bottomless pits." Lara retorted.
"Okay. I guess I will have to take Serenity then." A few more notes were added. "Where do we put Mai?"
"I'll take her." Lara said shrugging.
"Ishezu?" I asked.
"I can take her as well."
"Okay she kinda gives me the creeps anyways." I looked at the list. "I bags Dice Boy."
"Fine then what about Seto and Mokuba?" Lara asked.
"I'll take 'em." I said evil grin returning to me.
"So nice of you to decide all that for us all we don't have any say do we?" Duke asked looking from me to Lara and back again.
"Nope." I said evil grin getting more evil. "Now for the fun part."
"Cairis go get your bag." Lara said smirking.
Bunneh: ooh a cliff hanger. Mwahahaha.
Diablo: What's the need in that?
Bunneh: There is none -
Diablo: sigh
Bunneh: Right then well dear reader we WILL see you next time don't forget to review or we can and will set the Lorenzos' on you!
Christophes': Noooooo not the Lorenzos'
Bunneh: well till next time bye bye.