Author's Notes
Where shall I begin? Perhaps with Annemarie…
Give your character faults! You can't make her perfect if you want her to stand out. Also, breath taking beauty just gets annoying and cliché after awhile. I can understand if you're a little ten year old writing their first fan-fic or something making a serious Mary-sue character (we all have to get it out of our system at least once) but try to make more original characters in your later stories.
The popular Apprentice plot….
Like Mary-sues this is well overdone. Slade has had two apprentices already. Both have failed. Slade and your readers are tried of seeing this happen.
If you do this anyway, give Slade a reason for wanting this apprentice besides her infinite power. Perhaps Slade sees a little bit of himself in your character. Maybe he wants her to be apprentice only as a trick so he can use her for some kind of crazy plot. Make something O R I G I N A L .
By the way, I have read good apprentice fan-fics before, so I'm not saying that all of them are bad.
Love
Lot's of people write beautiful stories about Titans falling in love. A key for a good love story is patience. There is no such thing as love at first sight. At the beginning of story your to lovers may actually not be able to stand each other. This makes things interesting and more realistic than suddenly confessing love after knowing the special person for only a day.
There are a lot of other faults in the story that I won't preach about. I'll let you figure them out for yourself.
Lot's of Love - Fargoth
J