Saturdays were generally a lovely, lazy day in Hogwarts. Hermione enjoyed the relaxed pace and longer meal hours. She usually took breakfast then went to the library until noon, before going outside or to her common room to study and work until dinner. This Saturday was going much the same, with Hermione munching on toast as she scanned the Daily Prophet headlines, when Luna came up to Hermione, looking grave.
"Hermione," she said, her voice serious. "There's something you'd better see."
Hermione felt her adrenaline spike with alarm.
"What is it?" she asked, grabbing an apple to take with her. "What's going on?"
"It's the Houses," Luna said, hurrying and leading the way down a hall. "There were a bunch of Slytherins and Ravenclaws, but then Gryffindors started coming, and now it's all just a big mess."
"Wait, what? Where?" Hermione asked. "Is everyone okay?"
"We'll have to find out," Luna said grimly.
Subtly, Hermione palmed her wand.
Luna stopped by a door, and Hermione could hear yelling and a ruckus from outside.
"I'll go in first," Hermione told Luna in a low voice. "You cover me. Or stay here and guard the door."
Luna nodded silently from next to her. Hermione took a deep breath, mentally counted to three, and burst inside.
Immediately, loud yelling and sound assaulted her, and Hermione stopped and stared.
"-an idiot! She is not going to like having green and silver banners everywhere-" Harry was yelling.
"You're the moron! Green is her favorite color, you stupid slimy-" That sounded like Draco.
"Where is the cake? She'll be here any minute!" Was that Tracey?
"What are Weasleys doing here? I didn't realize we needed servants-" Theo was here too, now?
Hermione stared at them all, her friends and classmates running around an empty classroom attempting to decorate it with streamers. She turned sharply to Luna, who gave her an ambiguous smile.
"Told you it was something you'd want to see," she said, eyes sparkling.
Hermione rolled her eyes, but a small smile eked through.
She waved her wand, and with a loud BANG and explosion of sparks, everyone froze and fell silent, their eyes flying to Hermione.
"Hi," Hermione said, taking a step forward. "Someone mind telling me what all this is about?"
Her smile was dangerous. The others exchanged glances, some of them flinching backwards.
"It's your birthday, isn't it?" Hermione's eyes flickered up to Blaise, who was sitting on a desk in the back of the room, lazily. His eyes glinted with challenge. "And you said we couldn't throw you a party in the common room, so…"
Hermione realized she'd been trapped.
"So you threw one here, in an abandoned classroom instead," she summarized. She glanced around. "And invited everyone?"
"Zabini invited me," Harry said, stepping forward. He shot a suspicious look at Draco. "He said it was for your friends, so of course me and Neville and Ron had to come-"
"You brought nearly all the Weasleys," Pansy complained, emerging from behind a large ribbon bow. "Why are the twins and the Weaselette here?"
Hermione thought it was ironic that Pansy of all people criticizing why someone was present. If anyone wasn't her friend, it was Pansy.
"I brought Ginny," Luna said. "I like her. She's nice."
Hermione looked over to the twins. Fred and George were grinning.
"When we heard about your party-" Fred began.
"-from our loudmouth brother, wondering what to get you as a gift-" George added.
"-we decided it would be an excellent opportunity to show you what all we could do and our creativity-"
"-and hopefully help lure you over to the side of mischief!"
Their eyes sparkled, and Hermione smiled despite herself.
"Okay," she said. "So… who's throwing this party? What do you want me to do?"
Tracey froze.
"Err…" she said. "I think that'd be me. But everything's not even ready – we haven't gotten the streamers up yet-"
"That's because Malfoy thinks your favorite colors are Slytherin house colors," Neville said.
"Which they are!" Draco objected. "She wears green and silver all the time!"
"It's violet, actually," Hermione commented. She flicked her wand, and the banners turned from green and silver into a deep purple. "There. What else?"
"Umm… the House Elves are supposed to have a cake ready for you…"
"It's just after breakfast," Millie pointed out. "No one will want cake for a while, anyway."
"And after that, it's just…" Tracey looked uncertain.
"What?" Hermione prompted.
Tracey flushed.
"Well," she said, ears red. "We were all supposed to yell 'surprise'."
Hermione's birthday party was one of the weirdest things she'd ever experienced.
First, all her friends were there, and even some of her acquaintances. This meant not only her Slytherin classmates were all present, but so were Harry, Ron, and Neville, as well as the twins and Ginny. Anthony Goldstein and Terry Boot had shown up too, as had Michael Corner and Mandy. Ernie MacMillan and Justin Finch-Fletchney were present as well, though Hermione had no idea why they had come. Ernie was spending most of his time talking to the little Colin photographer kid who had tagged along with Harry, so at least they were out of the way.
Despite all being there for a common purpose, everyone kept fighting. First, it was accusations of cheating during Pin the Tail on the Centaur. Then, it was more accusations of cheating during Two Truths and a Lie. The first was fair – Hermione was fairly sure Theo had been peeking under the blindfold – but Draco's accusation that the Weasley Twins had spiked his drink with Veritaserum was a bit much.
When Tracey announced the next game as a tribute to her Muggle heritage, bringing out an empty bottle to spin, Hermione quickly put a stop to things.
"Let's all take a break and have some cake, yes?" she said.
"Yes, let's," Blaise said, collapsing on the ground next to her. "We can do presents, too."
"Ooh, yes!" Tracey clapped her hands. "I can't believe I forgot about the gifts!"
Everyone settled into an uneasy circle on the ground, Gryffindors on one side of the room, Slytherins on the other, and Ravenclaws between them. Harry sat on Hermione's right, while Blaise sat on her left, smirking.
"This is some party," Blaise commented, glancing around with a grin. "I've never seen the houses behave so well around each other."
"They've all been arguing constantly since before I got here!" Hermione protested.
Blaise's eyes glinted. "Still. No one's died yet."
The cake turned out to be an enormous chocolate monstrosity, and to Hermione's guilty pleasure, it was really good. She shuddered to think what her parents would think, her devouring so much refined sugar in so short a time, but it was too good to not eat up.
As Tracey passed out pieces of cake, her classmates started offering her gifts, and as wizarding tradition dictated, Hermione had to open them in front of everybody so everyone could see what she had been offered.
Most of them were just nice things, which suited Hermione fine. Theo had gotten her a book on Australian potion-making, which was interesting and fun. Millie had given her a luxury eagle-feather quill, and Tracey had gifted her a black velvet skirt she'd made from old robes of her mother's that had been torn. Daphne and Pansy each gave her new inks, Harry and Neville both gave her sugar quills (while Ron gave her a single chocolate frog), and most of her Ravenclaw friends gave her books.
As the gift giving continued, however, Hermione became aware of a growing tension in the room. She glanced around, puzzled. Draco and Anthony were giving each other dark looks, with Blaise looking annoyed at them both. Neither had yet given her a gift – were both of them trying to wait the other one out so theirs would be last?
The Weasley twins were looking highly amused by the whole thing, and Colin kept taking pictures with his stupid camera.
"Is that all?" Luna asked in her lilting, musical voice. "Oh, okay. Well, then, I'll-"
"It's not," Draco cut in quickly. "I still- I still have mine to give."
Draco moved forward to push a smallish box in front of her, which Hermione examined curiously. She shook it lightly, hearing something rattle about inside, before she opened it.
Inside lay what looked like an elaborate glass and silver top, a mirror, and a strange chain with a pendant that looked like a spoon. Hermione carefully picked up the top, looking it over in her hands.
"This is beautiful," she said finally. "Thank you, Draco."
Draco relaxed somewhat, pride making him straighten his back.
"They're Dark Detectors," he told her. "That's a Sneakoscope – a high quality one. That's a Foe Glass, and the other is a Secrecy Sensor."
"In Slytherin?" Blaise snorted. "It'll never stop pinging for her."
Draco flushed.
"It's still good to have," he snapped. "These will help keep Hermione safe."
There was a murmur at that. Offering gifts that provided safety had very specific implications in pureblood culture, and Hermione was aware of these.
"This is very thoughtful, Draco," Hermione said, carefully putting it all back into the box and handing it to Luna, who had somehow become the Gift Logistics go-to. She gave Draco a small smile. "Thank you."
Draco grinned back, then shot a nasty smirk over at Anthony, who was standing and dusting himself off.
"I still have a gift for you as well," he said. He withdrew a large box and handed it to her with a flourish, but he didn't move to sit back down.
"Careful." Luna's warning was a breath against her ear. "Careful, here…"
Delicately easing her fingers into the seams, Hermione opened the box and gasped.
A set of beautiful, opalescent robes were inside, their color shimmering and shifting with the light. Hermione pulled them out, and there was a murmur from the others in the room. Anthony looked smug at her reaction, shooting Draco a triumphant look, who sat and glowered.
"Anthony, this is beautiful," she said, her voice still stunned. "You shouldn't have. Thank you."
Clothing was a pre-courting gift, she knew. It was okay to give to someone, but it indicated a certain intent. And him giving her these gorgeous robes in front of everyone else was certainly making a statement.
"There's more," Anthony said. "Look."
Peering down, Hermione rummaged in the box, pulling out the one thing that remained. As she did, there was a gasp and a hush.
"What's going on?" Ron wanted to know, and Hermione saw Neville elbow him sharply.
"That's a ring," he hissed. "That's jewelry, Ron. Surely you know what that means?"
From Ron's face, it was apparent that no, he did not. Harry looked puzzled as well.
"It's called a Mood Ring," Anthony said. "My mother got it from a Muggle store. It's supposed to be able to tell your mood depending on the color the stone turns."
"How very lovely," Hermione managed. Her mouth was dry. "I didn't know your mother frequented Muggle shops."
"My family's progressive like that." Anthony winked. "Not like some others."
Hermione sat stock-still, looking at the ring in her hand. Jewelry of any kind was a courting gift – not just a declaration of desire, but a formal statement of intent. She'd read about courtship in the wizarding world beginning young, but Hermione's mind roiled against the notion. She had just turned thirteen!
"And," Anthony added, his voice smug, "my mother bought it in the toy section."
There was a murmur, and immediately Hermione knew what Anthony was about. By claiming it was a toy, and not a formal statement, despite giving it to her in front of everyone…
"You can't do that!" Draco objected hotly, and Hermione's eyes darted to him. Draco looked furious. "That's a ring, no matter which way you try to sell it!"
"It's a Muggle toy," Anthony argued. "It's to see what mood you're in."
"Oh, so you wouldn't care if Hermione passed it around to see everyone's mood with?" Draco challenged.
Anthony hesitated for only a second. "Of course not. It's Hermione's, to do with what she wishes."
Draco and Anthony were glaring daggers at each other, while the Slytherin girls were staring at her, eyes wide, waiting to see what she would do. Outright rejecting the gift would be rude. It would also reject Anthony's attentions and undeclared-but-declared statement of intent, and Hermione wasn't entirely sure she wanted to do that – he was smart, he was attractive, and she might like him, once she matured enough to like people in that way. However, Hermione knew she didn't want to accept the ring either, and, as such, accept his overture of courtship. She was too young for this sort of thing! She restrained herself from biting her lip, thinking desperately.
"You say it can detect your mood?" Hermione inquired lightly.
Anthony turned back to her, his lips quirking.
"Yeah," he said. "No idea how. Muggle magic?"
Hermione examined the ring again, toying with it in her fingers, never slipping it on.
"How interesting," she commented. With a murmured word and a quick twist, the stone popped free of the steel ring it was glued on to. She held it up, discarding the metal band, and held the stone in her palm. The girls around her exchanged glances and murmurs.
"It's turning blue," she commented. Her eyes met Anthony's. "What mood does that mean?"
"Relaxed or calm," Luna answered from behind her. She held up a piece of paper. "There was a chart in the box."
"That's fairly accurate," Hermione said, smiling. "After all, I'm having such a lovely party with all of my friends."
She turned, passing the stone to Harry.
"What color does it turn for you?" she inquired.
Harry blinked, then looked down at the stone in his hand.
"Uh, black," he said. "What's that mean?"
"Stressed," Luna answered promptly.
"I want to see!" Ron said. "Pass the paper this way, Lovegood!"
Slowly, it became a game, passing the muggle stone around and checking the person's mood against the color it turned.
"Neville! It says you feel passion!" Ron whooped. "Are you in love with someone in this room?"
Neville flushed a deep red and glared at Ron.
"It's a stupid Muggle game, Ron," he snapped. "Who knows why it says what it does?"
"It did say I was angry," Ginny offered quietly. "And I'm not. I don't think it's right all the time."
Ron ignored her.
"Here, you try it, George."
As the stone was passed around, Anthony's eyes met Hermione's once more.
"Thank you very much for the robes," she thanked him quietly. "They're beautiful."
"Their beauty will pale next to you in them," Anthony replied. His grin was charming, and Hermione felt her cheeks flush. "And your other gift…?"
Hermione steadied her breath.
"It was a lovely idea, to bring a Muggle toy to my party for us all to play with," she said, her word choice deliberate. "The stone is very pretty."
In front of her, she could see Anthony deflate slightly with a sigh. It was not an outright rejection, but it was not accepting his declaration, either. She'd called it a toy, clearly using the out he'd given her, and had not once referred to it as a ring.
Still, though, she was keeping it. Which meant something, probably.
"I am glad you like it," Anthony said finally. He offered her a small smile, a peace offering. "Perhaps one day you might use the stone in a clasp for your cloak."
Hermione inclined her head with a smile. "Perhaps I might."
Finally, Anthony returned to his seat, and Hermione exhaled, relaxing and allowing her muscles to untense. Draco still looked mutinous, but he'd settled down to just muttering to himself and shooting dark looks across the way at Anthony.
"You handled that well," Luna murmured from her side. "There was a chance of bloodshed."
Hermione found herself wishing Luna had told her that before she'd guessed at what to do.
"Just ours left, then!" Fred piped up cheerily.
"Though, you won't see it until lunch time," George added.
"Which, if my clock is correct," Fred said, tapping his watch.
"Is in just under half an hour," George finished. He winked at her. "We hope you enjoy it!"
That pronouncement prompted a flurry of discussion of what the Weasley twins had done as a gift to her. It was undoubtedly some sort of prank – but opinion on whether it was on her or on one of her enemies remained divided.
Hermione wondered who they were classifying as her enemies. She didn't know who all resented her herself, nor how many enemies she actually had.
Draco was watching her, as was Blaise, as she put the resplendent robes away and tucked the box behind her out of sight.
Around her, Tracey clapped her hands. "It's time for the big finale!"
A large, oddly-shaped ball was brought in. It looked like it was made from newspaper and cardboard taped together, and it was decorated with streamers.
"Muggles have a tradition of beating small paper horses with wooden clubs until sweets spray out," Tracey informed them. "For a wizarding version of this game, I'm going to toss this in the air, and we're all going to take turns zapping it until it explodes."
Harry was laughing from next to Hermione.
"A piñata?" he asked. "Where did she hear about piñatas from?"
Hermione's eyes danced with amusement as she shrugged.
"Her dad's a muggle," she said. "He probably told her. Though it seems like something got lost in translation…"
Tracey threw the giant ball up into the air, and immediately it was being blasted up towards the ceiling, shouts and jets of light chasing after it, trying to strike a blow. Hermione watched her friends running around below it as they tried to zap it, laughing. They all just looked so intent on it, so intent on defeating a piñata, and they all just looked so silly, and Hermione couldn't help but laugh and laugh and laugh.
When Terry Boot finally hit it with a well-placed severing spell, the piñata ball tore in mid-air, spilling out Bertie Botts Every-Flavor Beans everywhere. Girls shrieked and ducked for cover, while many of the boys dove and tried to gather up as many of them as they could.
Shortly thereafter, it was declared it was time for lunch, and they all filed out after putting the classroom to rights once more, good-natured bickering about who got what hit on the piñata filling the air.
"That was fun," Hermione told Tracey at the Slytherin table, and Tracey beamed. "Thank you."
"It was my pleasure, Hermione!" Tracey exclaimed, smiling openly. "I'm glad you had fun."
"Be careful of your food," Millie advised. "We still don't know what prank the twins are up to, yet."
After lunch began and everyone was present, including the teachers, the twins' prank became evident midway through the meal.
"Gilderoy…?"
Hermione glanced up at Professor McGongall's aghast tones.
"Yes, Minerva?" Lockhart said, beaming.
"You've got-" She swallowed. "You've got a candle burning on your head."
"I- wait, what?"
Hermione giggled. Sure enough, there was a candle, maybe a foot tall, standing up on Lockhart's head.
"I can't feel it!" Lockhart yelped, waving his arms around over his head. "Get it off! Please!"
Obliging, Hagrid rose to his feet and pulled at the candle.
"'won't come off yeh," Hagrid grunted. "'s gotta be some kinda magic candle."
"Oh, really?" Lockhart's voice was high and frantic. "I couldn't tell."
"Now, now." Hermione's eyes darted over to Snape, where he held a cool look of disdain. "If it's a candle, what all are candles used for?" he drawled. "Clearly this is some sort of prank – just figure out the trigger, and it'll disappear, I'm sure."
"Like what, Severus?" Lockhart was panicking.
"You could have someone blow them out?" Professor Sprout suggested.
"Then please!"
Hagrid took a deep breath and blew, and abruptly, one candle became two, the other popping into existence next to the first.
"Aah! They're multiplyin'!"
"They're what?"
Hermione giggled as Hagrid blew again and again, more candles crowding around her professor's head until there were thirteen perched precariously atop it.
"Clearly, blowing them out isn't working," Snape drawled, his lip curled in amusement. "Perhaps we should sing to you?"
"But it's not my birthday!" Lockhart objected.
"The candles don't seem to know that, Gilderoy," Flitwick reasoned. "No harm if it doesn't work. But it's worth a try."
Hermione couldn't stop laughing as Flitwick lead the staff and much of the student body in a rendition of Happy Birthday. It was like the whole school was singing to her, only not, as she wasn't the one being embarrassed by it all. As the song came to a close, the candles all abruptly exploded into pixies, and there were shrieks of laughter and panic as Lockhart screamed and ran from the room, the pixies chasing after him.
Laughing, Hermione glanced over at the Gryffindor table, which was in an uproar of laughter. The twins caught her eye and she grinned at them. Fred grinned back at her and gave her a thumbs-up, while George winked and laughed.
It was certainly the weirdest and also one of the most surreal, but it was one of the best birthdays Hermione had ever had.