Reactions
Hermione's Point of View
Severus left me alone in a room with Malfoy and a house-elf. Fortunately for me, since my hold on sanity was tenuous at best, Malfoy didn't stay. Instead, as soon as he noticed Severus's departure, he followed him from the room.
I couldn't help but shudder at the memories being in a room with Malfoy brought me. The logical part of my brain knew that Malfoy wasn't his father, but the logical part of my brain was not the part currently in control of my emotions. No. The tired, emotional, tortured, raped, and abused part of my brain was the part that was reacting. Reacting to what had happened, and what might happen in the future.
Seeing Malfoy's white-blond hair and gray eyes brought it all back. He looked so much like his father…
I had seen the look of horror on his face when he saw me, and I wondered what had caused it. I assumed it was because he had been forced to give up what was clearly his bed to a muggle-born. And not just any muggle-born, but me. After all, he had made it clear to me in the past what he thought of me. He hated all muggle-born, but he held a special place in his stone-heart for me.
He must have been pleased to see me hurt. After all, in our second year he had hoped I'd die. For him to see me like this, in my weakness, was almost worse than what had happened with his father.
Gods, Severus, why did you bring me here? Why didn't you just leave me to die?
Silently, more tears found their way out at the corners of my eyes. But just as I was getting subsumed into my personal misery, I felt gentle hands soothing my face with a cold rag.
I opened my eyes to the greenish face of the house-elf as she patiently removed the tears and the blood. Seeing that I was conscious, she stopped her washing, and looked at me with her large, solemn eyes.
"Little Miss is hurt bad. Nena is going to get you better. Nena has more potions for Little Miss to drink. And then Nena is to be going to Hogwarts and letting the Headmistress know what has happened to her Miss. Does Little Miss want to send a letter to the Headmistress, too? Master Snape is going to be sending one."
I looked down at my hands, seeing them broken and bloody, my wrists raw from where they had been bound and shook my head no.
"Nena is going to clean Little Miss up now." And with that she quickly finished washing the streaks of blood and other things from my face and body with her soothing rag. She frowned when she got to my stomach, muttering something about bad wizards that I couldn't quite catch. She apparently decided not to wash me any lower, but to instead clean me with her magic, which she also used on the now-disgusting sheets.
She wrapped me in the blanket, and then went to the small table to collect the potion vials I was to take now.
"Miss needs to take some potions now to sleep and heal."
I just nodded and drank whatever she held out to me.
I immediately felt like a warm blanket was covering my mind, distancing me from my memories, and soothing me into sleep.
"Nena," I mumbled, before I succumbed to the inevitable.
"Yes, Miss?"
"When you go to Hogwarts, do you think you could bring my trunk? I keep some stuff there for when I end up spending the night. I need my clothing…" I was drifting off, but not before I heard her reply.
"Nena will bring."
And with that, the house-elf was gone, though I hardly noticed since sleep claimed me.
Even though I was given Dreamless Sleep Draught, I slept poorly. I think I dozed through nightmares of my experiences. After a while, though, I felt a reassuring pressure on my hand, a gentle squeeze. In my dreams, it seemed that Harry and Ron had found me. Feeling safer than I had since I had been brought to this place, I feel into a deeper, restful sleep.
Snape's Point of View
I left Hermione and Draco at the Refuge and returned to my home. There was another potion she was going to need, and it wasn't one that Hogwarts usually stocked. I had a sneaking suspicion that Lucius and company had not thought about the possible consequences if she survived their torture. Therefore, she may very well now be carrying one of their offspring.
That was unacceptable.
Arriving in my home, I quickly retreated to my lab to begin brewing what she would need. It would bring on her menses like a normal cycle. Given what had happened to her, it would probably be therapeutic, the flushing of her body.
Several hours later as the potion was almost complete, Draco joined me. Looking at me curiously, I ignored him for several minutes.
"Severus, what are you making?" He was clearly confused, since this wasn't a potion taught at Hogwarts. Not something we tended to encourage the use of. And, after all, Hermione had already been pretty thoroughly dosed with potions.
"Tell me, Draco. Have you ever wanted a younger brother or sister?" I looked at him pointedly.
"Not really," he answered, still oblivious.
"Then don't you think I should ensure that Hermione is not carrying one for you?"
The look of complete and utter horror that stole across his features was so funny it… no… it was not worth what had put it there… but it was still funny. Allowing my eyebrow to arch, I turned back to my potion.
"Severus, have you ever been through this before?" Draco asked after a long silence.
"Been through what? Helping a young woman after an assault? Yes. I was Head of Slytherin for some time."
"Is it always like this?"
"I'm not sure what you are asking."
"Well, I have been thinking about what happened. And how many times people I know have done… things like that… And, well, Severus, I have heard the other Death Eaters talking about doing that. They never make it seem like anything more than sex. I guess I never thought it was such a big deal. But that wasn't just sex. Granger is going to be dealing with it for… well… for a long time. Does that make sense?"
"Yes, Draco, it does. And you're absolutely right. Like other Unforgivable acts, rape is one that wounds the soul. Rape is not about sex, Draco. It's about domination, forcing your will on someone who is unwilling, and doing it in a very personal way. Rape is the same thing as the Imperius Curse."
Hearing this, Draco paled even more. It took me a moment to realize why he had that reaction. I had forgotten he had placed Madame Rosmerta under the Imperius Curse last year.
"Severus," he said in a quiet voice, "I had no idea, really, of what kinds of things the Death Eaters did. I grew up believing in blood-purity, but…" and here he broke down into tears. Once more I spared a thought for Dumbledore's sacrifice, hoping that these tears meant it had not been in vain.
Giving him time to compose himself, I finished the potion for Hermione and measured a dose into a vial.
"Draco, please take this to Hermione and see that she drinks it. I have several things I need to do before I return to the Dark Lord. Please send Nena to me after Hermione takes that potion."
With a nod, Draco accepted the potion from me and Apparated to the Refuge.
Quickly I went upstairs to the study and brought out a piece of parchment.
Minerva,
It would take to long to write out what has happened today. I am instead sending you my memories of today. Please store them with the rest of the important memories. Some of what you discover may surprise you; please keep it in mind for the future. I would request that you not inform Potter and Weasley until Hermione is healed, as I feel it should be her decision how and when to tell them. I also do not fancy their attempts at rescue missions.
Yours in Service,
Severus Snape
I quickly set my wand to my temple and withdrew copies of my memories of today, from finding Hermione to my last conversation with Draco. I decided it was important to include Draco's reaction in the memories so that, if the Order triumphed, there would be some record of his changing heart on file…
Sealing the vial with a green cork, I put it with the note and summoned Nena. I was surprised at how quickly she arrived.
"Nena, here is my letter to the Headmistress, and here is a vial of my memories from today. Please make sure she gets them. If she sends anything back, please give it to Draco to hold for me. You may tell her your own impressions of today and what has been happening, if you wish."
"Yes, Master. Nena will do. Nena is also bringing clothing for the Little Miss form the school."
Gods, I had forgotten about clothing. Poor Hermione, to be raped and left for dead, and then to be left naked even after a rescue…
"Go, then, and quickly."
As soon as she was gone, I left through the Floo.
Minerva's Point of View
I was sitting in my office when Nena popped in with the letter I had been expecting from Severus. She was also carrying a vial. She handed both to me, looking up at me with her large, globe-like eyes.
"Headmistress, Nena has something to be telling you. But Nena thinks it should wait until after you be seeing those memories."
"All right, Nena, I will look at the memories first. Will you come back to this office later tonight?"
"Yes, Headmistress. Nena be having some other things to do now." And with a snap of her fingers, she disappeared.
Shaking my head at the strangeness of our fellow magical brethren, I sat at my desk to read Severus's letter.
It was a short note, although he was correct in assuming I would prefer to witness it for myself. I had no idea what had happened, only that Hermione had been hurt.
With a sigh, I opened that cabinet that contained the Pensieve. With a pang of apprehension, I uncorked Severus's memory vial and emptied it into the stone basin. Without a pause, I touched the surface and felt myself being drawn into the events of the day.
The memory was longer than I anticipated, and when I was finally released, I found myself retching in reaction.
Sitting back behind my desk, I thought about the next step. Hermione would clearly be a while recovering, but Severus could still pass his information through her. For now, the best thing would be to leave her with Draco, probably for both of them. She needed quiet and to be away from the boys, and he needed to see the fallacies he had been raised with. In the long run, this may turn out to be a gift. Draco would be able to provide interesting testimony if we won the war, especially if he ended up feeling remorse about the way he had been raised…
I decided that for now, I would let things run their course.
Draco's Point of View
Today has possibly been the most upsetting day I have lived through. It's hard to say for sure, of course. And maybe it only seems so upsetting because it is the immediate present. There was a time when I thought that having my image of the Dark Lord shattered when he turned his wand on me was the worst day of my life. But having the image of my father shattered… I think that was worse.
Don't get me wrong, I have always known that my father hated muggles and all things associated with them. I have always known he raped and murdered without much consideration.
I just had never seen first hand what being raped did to a woman.
It had hurt when Severus likened the Imperius Curse to being raped. I had cast that curse myself last year. It hadn't seemed to have the same kind of effect on the barmaid, though, as the rape had on Hermione.
I often wonder why I agreed to any of it. I had no real desire to be a Death Eater. Or rather, I liked the power being a Death Eater brought me within Slytherin, but I didn't really want to be a Death Eater. I just didn't ever think I had a choice in the matter.
It's something that only someone who has grown up in a society family can understand.
One of the things I had always resented about the Golden Trio was the choices they had ahead of them.
What classes to take, what career to try for, whom to marry, how many kids they had, what they did on the weekends… hell, everything was open to them. They could do whatever they wanted!
But not me.
I didn't get any say in my life. My father had it all planned out for me.
When I was young, I took comfort in that. As I grew up, I resented it. And I hated the people who didn't have to deal with that kind of family pressure.
But I never rebelled. I followed orders and did what I was asked to do.
When my father was sent to Azkaban, I thought there would be some freedom, even though I resented the fact that Potter had cost me my father. I certainly hated Potter.
But freedom was not to be. In loosing my father, I only gained a more controlling master in my life. One who did not temper his demands of me with love. One you do not rebel against.
I stared down at the vial in my hands. Yet another potion for Granger. But this one was perhaps the worst.
As I looked at the potion in my hands, I realized how many other women my father and his friends had put in this situation. The loss of control, the loss of choice about their own lives.
With a sigh, I went upstairs to check on Granger and give her the potion Severus had prepared.
When I opened the door to the bedroom, I saw that Granger was awake and alone. I noticed her shoulders were shaking and she seemed to be crying.
I have never been known for sensitivity. Dealing with tears has always made me feel out of my depth. This was so far beyond that, I felt at a complete loss. So instead of doing something, I stood there, watching her, feeling like a fool and a voyeur.
Eventually, I couldn't take it any more.
"Granger," I said quietly, catching her attention and causing her to stop crying abruptly. "I have something for you to take." I left my perch by the door and walked fully into the room. I noticed she was still unclothed, although she was fully covered by the bedding.
Blushing, I strode to the wardrobe and grabbed a clean shirt of my own, quickly transfiguring it into a long flannel nightgown. I held it out to her and turned my back while she put it on.
I heard her moving as quickly as she could.
"You can turn around now." Her voice sounded hoarse and scratchy, although I didn't know if it was from weeping or screaming.
I turned slowly.
"Thanks," was all she said.
I nodded at her. I was at a loss for words. I had never thought her attractive. But she currently looked so much worse than I had ever seen her before. While the blood was gone, her eyes and cheeks looked bruised, and the scratches and handprints from her ordeal still stood out against her pale skin.
"Severus made this for you," I said, handing her the vial.
"What is it?" she asked.
"It's…" I hesitated. Severus hadn't told me not to tell her, but I was uncomfortable talking about... intimate female matters… "It's to make you start your… ah… menstrual bleeding… just as a precaution…" I know I was blushing. What was it about this situation that kept causing me to blush?
"Oh." She reached for it and quickly downed it in one gulp.
I just stood there like an idiot.
"Do you need anything?" I asked her. I didn't really want to leave her, but we didn't exactly have the type of relationship where I felt comfortable staying, either.
I was very carefully not examining my feelings about her potential answers. I didn't really want to stay with her, but I didn't really want to be alone then, either. I had been alone a lot lately.
"No, I don't need anything immediately. But, if you don't mind staying… I don't really want to be by myself. I'd like some kind of distraction. Do you have any books here?"
Leave it to Granger to ask for books. Although, in this, at least, I could oblige her.
"I do. Severus has given me some things to read. I'll be back in a moment."
I hurried down the stairs and found what I was looking for. A selection of books on potions that increase blood volume.
Returning with my arms laden with volumes, I put the stack on the side of the bed. They were close to me, but also formed a barrier between us.
"Severus has asked me to help him with some research. We are looking for anything about Blood Replenishment that might allow us to lessen the pain that is associated with the current potion."
With the mention of research, her eyes lit up. She quickly grabbed the book on top and began devouring it.
I figured this boded well for us for the next few days while she healed. She could help me read through all the books and we could talk about potions. That should be a safe enough topic.
A safe topic while Granger and I, long-time enemies, had to stay under the same roof.
Maybe we could do this and not kill each other.
Maybe there was hope for the future after all…
