No Turning Back

Disclaimer/Notes: Trigun is not my creation, but I like to pretend that I know something about it. Sorry again for the wait, everyone! It seems like the closer this story gets to the end, the harder it is to write. There are so many things that have to be done before this story can be concluded. My sincere thanks to all the wonderful reviewers who have kept me going so far, even though it sometimes seemed like I was indefinitely stuck. I'd like to extend my thanks to some new reviewers, as well. Jaya Mitai, Lone Warrior2, and Raphaella... you guys are awesome! To all my old reviewers...you guys already know how much I love you!

Surreal.

It was the only way to describe the shining beauty of the moons tonight. Indigo light layered softly over the scarlet and yellow glows from it neighboring moons, mixing with the deep, dark green light from another one to make a veritable rainbow of colors across the cool sand.

Ahead, the desert stretched on. The circumstances reminded him of those wandering days so many decades ago, when he and Knives had nowhere to go and nothing to do but observe the humans from the outside and sleep on the ground at night. Neither had really followed the other, and they'd not often had any real destination. It was the same way now.

The only difference was that Vash had a destination this time.

So keep following, brother. I can feel you far behind me. Can you feel me, too?

I want to show you something.

It was a truck.

The front seats were filthy, mottled with stains and specked with holes, and the back was nothing more than a few slabs of wood nailed halfheartedly to the side, but at least the engine ran. Well—Meryl grimaced as the moody contraption shuddered—most of the time. It was as much as Millie and Meryl could get with the little money they carried, though. Meryl drove, eyes facing strictly ahead, and Millie sat in the passenger seat, impassively surveying the sand. It had taken longer than they'd wanted for the two to bargain for transportation.

After they had finally found a vehicle in the caravan that was willing to break from the group and shelled out enough double dollars to make sure that the driver was dedicated to his task, they had started off.

Getting to Jastin had been the easy part.

Finding transportation once they arrived had been nearly impossible.

All the thomases, spooked by the explosion, were too frantic to handle, so Millie and Meryl had no other choice than to search out a car. And of course the only man willing to loan his would want an insanely large sum of money.

Meryl sighed and soothed her empty wallet. There was very little left to buy supplies with. At this rate, she'd be begging on the streets before the day was over.

"Sempai...there."

Ahead of them, jagged spires loomed above a misty cloud, barely piercing the top of the obscurity. Moonlight glinted off of the haze, making the ground ahead of them nearly impossible to see. "So this is it..." Meryl whispered. As they drove on, sharp remains of a collapsed section of the strange vessel caught her attention. This whole place looked like a graveyard. A shudder coursed through Meryl. It suddenly felt so cold here.

Had it been mere seconds, or had hours passed?

Vash wasn't sure. Enveloped in his thoughts, he had hardly been aware of the iles and iles that had passed under his feet. Many more iles would pass before he reached his destination, but he didn't mind. It gave him time to think. He really needed to think. There were so many questions, so many realizations, conflicting and painful, fighting for attention and dominance in his confused mind. In one moment, he was sure of his path, but in the next, a billion questions refuted what had seemed irrefutable, sending him plunging right back to the beginning and the question that had plagued him for a century.

Was there really an answer?

He'd always thought that there was a positive answer for everything, an out that one could take, if only one knew where it was...and if they were fast and strong enough to think of it and carry it out in time.

But maybe there were many answers to any one question. Perhaps, sometimes, there wasn't a single answer that was completely right.

But maybe...

Out of all the thoughts that ran through his head, one kept returning.

Knives...

How will I save you?

Can I save you?

"Rem..." Vash spoke the same aloud, and it returned a kind of calm to his thoughts. It felt different, though...more distant. The calm was short lasted, and the faded image of her face quickly dissipated in the chaos of his thoughts. A cold realization settled in his mind, an unfamiliar certainty.

She wasn't going to make this decision for him. This time, he had to decide for himself. No outs, no retakes, no cushions to fall back on. A while ago, he had made a promise to stop relying on remembered words. He'd promised to live for himself.

It was hard.

His brother's presence far behind him only made everything more immediate. There was very little time to think about this. He had been so certain about his goal when he'd left his room and wandered the halls, but now all the little things he hadn't worked out nagged at him. Getting out of the facility had been easy enough. He was more observant than Knives gave him credit for. All those codes, the locked doors, the barriers... they all had one weakness. This entire ship was controlled by the Plants. It had been easy enough to communicate with them and bypass the security measures.

Vash sighed.

Yes, that had been the easy part.

Before the morning suns rose on this forsaken planet, a decision would have to be made. Many lives would balance on that decision.

Vash stopped abruptly, feet tossing dusty sand up. Should he...should he go back? So many horrible things could happen...

"Help me...Help me to make the right choice."

I hope this is the right choice. Please don't let this be another mistake. Prove me wrong, Knives. Just once.

"They're not...nobody's here." Meryl paced through the rubble, lips pursed tightly. She had the look in her eyes, the carefully controlled fear she hid so well under rational thought. "Something happened here." Millie watched as Meryl's eyes followed blackened stains in the sand. Blood. Her small partner's composure seemed to fail, but was held frantically in check as Meryl gulped in a calming breath. She spoke softly. "Millie? D—do you think...?"

Millie put an arm around her friend's shoulder. The jarring movement, if nothing else, tore Meryl's gaze from the stains. "What should we do, then?"

Meryl nodded forcefully. The fear retreated from her eyes, replaced by calculating calm. "Of course...let's look around."

Meryl took charge and walked ahead, sparing only a brief glance back. Millie followed behind as Meryl traced the bloodstains to the entrance of the facility. Meryl moved her fingers along the cold metal of the closed door, but it didn't take long to realize that the large entrance was sealed solidly shut. She turned around, eyes scanning all around her. They finally settled on the sand beneath her, trailing out in a jagged line.

Footsteps, slightly faded by the night winds. Two sets of them.

So close now.

Vash looked ahead and saw the outline of a city. There was a cliff far into the distance. A small satellite station had once been the small town's main attraction, but its new one was the ship crashed into the sand right outside of the settlement. New Oregon. So many memories wafted on the winds coming from the little place.

A few small lights were on in the dusty buildings, signaling the awakening of life. Vash skirted the town carefully to get to the ship. With Knives behind him, he would not risk coming into contact with the innocent settlers here. Several iles later, he finally arrived at the buried platform that led to the entrance.

They'd already know he was here. A lot of the people had left the ship, but Vash knew of at least one who would still be there.

He heard soft speaking and the computerized beep of a code being pressed in, and the door began to lift.

Once it clacked open, the shadow of its occupant beamed up at him. Vash couldn't return the gesture with a genuine smile, so he settled for a shadow of one. His mind cast frantic orders at him. Leave! This was a horrible idea.Go now. "Hey, Doc."

The small man welcomed Vash inside. "Vash! It's wonderful to see you again. And so soon!"

Vash tried a soft laugh. "Yeah."

As the perceptive eyes examined Vash's tight features, the smile faded to a look of calm seriousness. "It's Knives, isn't it?"

Vash nodded. The doctor led him into a large room that was exactly like the one where Knives had pinned him with that blade. Vash felt a dull, throbbing pain at his side. He dismissed it, looking around. Yes, this room seemed much more human. Remnants of life were slung over coat racks. Hastily scribbled notes littered the counters. The smell of some perfume wafted on the air. This was humanity. This was the difference.

"How many people are still here?" Vash asked.

The doctor answered after a moment's thought. "About thirteen, I'd say. Most have left and found a home in this town, but a few remained. They help me out with my work here, you see."

Vash swallowed. "Then...tell them to leave. Or to hide below. Please, doc."

The doctor drew a deep breath. "So he's coming here this time?"

Vash nodded. "It's the last thing I can do. There's nothing else that will change his mind. I want to show him the facilities you're constructing here."

For just a moment, Vash saw fear in the doctor's eyes. Or maybe he just thought he had, because when he looked again, they were their usual warm color, full of sympathy and understanding and intelligence.

"I—I'm sorry. I promise, I won't let anyone get hurt. I'll do whatever it takes, doc. I just...this is the only way I can think that might get to him."

The doctor nodded. "When will he come?"

As he spoke, the small man wandered over to the wall.

"Soon. He's a few iles behind me. I wanted to have some time once I arrived..."

The doctor pressed a button and spoke a few words into a console, then nodded. He turned around. "I just ordered everyone to evacuate to the lower level. They should be safe there."

"Thank you," Vash whispered wanly. "I'm sorry."

The doctor smiled. "I trust you, Vash. Now, let me see that arm of yours. It definitely looks the worse for wear. We have some time. I'll make some adjustments for you."

"But you should—"

"Don't say anything. If you're going to face that brother of yours, you can't be anything less than a hundred percent."

Vash smiled at the old man. So stubborn. It was strange to see the wrinkles etched into that dark face, the deep laugh lines around his mouth and eyes—telltale signs of age. The doctor was old, but Vash's age almost doubled the man's. The doctor lifted Vash's prosthetic and looked at it, clicking his tongue. Vash bit his lip absently when a sharp ache shot through his side. He supposed he had not been completely healed last night. Well, he'd ignored the pain this long. He'd continue to.

Vash concentrated on the feeling deep in his mind. He felt Knives, coming closer to this little ship. The thick walls around him felt like wet paper. A single touch from Knives and they'd break down.

"Are you okay, Vash?"

He hadn't realized that he'd let his eyes slip closed. He opened them with a start. "Oh. Yeah. Just thinking. He's closer. You'd better go."

"Almost done, Vash. Besides, I'm the only one who can explain things accurately. We'll wait until he arrives. Everyone else is safe now."

Closer...Knives was so close. Vash felt a shudder sweep through him.

He closed his eyes again, completely absorbed by the electric feeling of his brother's presence. He'd been wandering all night. The lack of sleep weighed at his body, making the darkness behind his closed eyes even more enticing. Vash snapped his eyes open when he heard the sound of screaming metal. It was the sound of Knives' blades. Footsteps came ever closer. Knives was here. The doctor stepped back from Vash and nodded.

"Hide behind something, doc. Please."

"Of course."

Once the doc was out of sight, Vash stood. He could not afford to lose this time. Knives stepped into the room. There was a smile on his face, and...

Blood on his blades.

Knives saw Vash's look of shock and laughed. "Oh, this? I took a detour. Don't worry. Your precious humans are safe. This blood is of a thomas. Damn animal would not stop making noise. So, why the move, brother? Tired of the old, cold abode you were in?"

Vash stepped forward. "I came because I knew you would follow."

Knives' brows knitted. "Oh?"

"Because I want to show you something. It's important, Knives. It's the beginning of your Eden."

Knives flexed the blades. They scraped gently together, sending whispers of metallic cries across the room. "So?"

"Follow me, Knives."

The voice was not Vash's. Knives' eyes narrowed as he saw the doctor step out from behind a counter. "What's going on, Vash?" Knives demanded.

The doctor saw the blades but did not react.

"There is something your brother wishes to show you."

"Doc..." Vash whispered frantically.

"Vash."

Knives looked straight into the old man's eyes.

"I'm not afraid to die, son," the doctor said. "I've lived to see many things. I have no regrets. If you would follow me now..."

Knives lowered the blades. "Keep the filthy parasite away from me. Show me what you brought me here for, Vash."

Author's Notes: Sorry that this isn't as big as the last two chapters. I did plan on doing a lot more in this chapter, but it would take up way too much time, so I decided to split it into two. That way, it won't take two more weeks. (Insert nervous laugh here)