I love writing this story. There's such a raw reaction to it, I don't know what specifically is inspiring all the emotions with this story, but I like it!

-HTTYD-

Despite herself (and the statement she'd had to make to the police), Astrid did find the sight of the cast on Thuggory's forearm a little more satisfying than she probably should have, but at least now he left her alone.

Going to class was exhausting, and half the time Astrid couldn't remember a thing she'd heard through the whole lecture. But maybe if she faked it, dragged herself out of bed and ate more than once a day and showered without Heather reminding her it had been several days since she saw her in fresh pyjamas... maybe Astrid would eventually believe she was ok herself.

But even she had limits on how far she was willing to push herself just yet.

"Not a chance."

"Come on!"

Heather was trying to convince Astrid to go out with her, despite Astrid insisting the incident at Heather's birthday party last month was more than enough drama for the next two months.

"Nope."

"Astriiiiiid. You have to have fun again sometime."

Probably, but the mere thought of seeing the twins again, seeing them kiss and touch some other person in public before taking them back to where Astrid still yearned to be... it made her sick to her stomach. And since she'd actually been sick watching them take that redhead home before, Astrid wasn't about to go and risk it again. Not yet. She still felt raw inside, jarred by the night she'd spent with them and how it had been so incredible and so heartbreaking all at once.

She really didn't need reminding that she was as disposable a lover as anyone else.

"Seriously, I'm too tired. I just wanna curl up in bed."

That wasn't a lie, Astrid was pretty tired. Heather didn't need to know it was because she'd cried and slept fitfully the night before. And the night before that. And the night before that...

"Fine. But you better actually get some rest. You look terrible."

"Gee, thanks!"

Heather meant well - she normally said it wasn't that bad, but if she was worried, she let Astrid know. And she was worried. Still turned up with food and Astrid's favourite snacks all the time, making sure she ate and checking if she slept. Astrid could tell Heather was wary of accepting her sudden shift. Last time she'd tried, it hadn't lasted very long.

"I've left some food in your fridge you can microwave if you need an easy dinner, and you have milk that's in date in your fridge if you want to make some tea."

"Thanks Heather. Go on, have fun. Be safe."

"I will. Get some rest, I'll see you tomorrow."

She hugged Astrid goodbye, then headed out the door and left Astrid alone with food and her thoughts. The food was reheated and eaten, because Astrid wasn't about to say no to easy dinner. Her appetite wasn't totally back up to before, and neither was her weight, but Astrid actually felt like she might be able to go to the gym and not keel over soon. So she considered that a win for now.

Stomach uncomfortably full through sheer determination to finish a meal, Astrid brushed her teeth and put her pyjamas on, crawling into bed and burying herself in blankets. She'd hoped to round off a whole half-decent day by not crying herself to sleep, which she did, but didn't sleep terribly well either way.

And any sense of progress was knocked back the next day, when her phone vibrated with a text that wasn't Heather fussing for the first time in over a week. Their parents were the "calls over texts" type, and she'd only just gotten off the phone with Heather. So Astrid went to her phone with a great sense of trepidation, stomach lurching when she saw Eret's name on the screen.

Heather found her in the bathroom, hunched over the toilet feeling pretty sorry for herself.

"Are you ok?"

She brought a glass of water and a damp cloth to Astrid, who slumped to the ground and accepted them with a weak groan. What was she supposed to say? The thought of seeing my brothers who I recently fucked again makes me physically sick?

"I feel kinda terrible. Might be coming down with something."

That wasn't totally a lie. She felt dreadful. Eret's message seemed to replay itself in front of her eyes, and it took a lot of effort for her not to bend over the toilet again. Out of nowhere, he was asking her to meet them, talk to them, wanting to know what was 'up' with her. Astrid wasn't sure if it would have been better or worse to find out they were hoping for a repeat of a few weeks ago when she basically dragged them to bed and begged them to touch her. Either way, Astrid couldn't explain herself to them, and had no intentions of trying. Especially when the mere thought of that conversation had her almost retching again.

Heather waited for her to finish her water, then put Astrid back to bed and hunted out something to put next to her bed in case she didn't get up in time.

"Try to rest. I'll come check on you after my lecture. Text me if you need anything."

Astrid moaned pitifully, pulling blankets up and burrowing deeper into her bed as Heather let herself out. The next thing she knew was Heather coming back, so she must have fallen asleep.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better, I think."

"I brought crackers and ginger stuff, to go easy on your stomach. I was gonna make soup for myself later anyway, so if you feel up to proper food for dinner I will bring you some."

Honestly, Astrid didn't deserve Heather. She was probably a pretty terrible friend the last couple of months, but Heather still took care of her.

"Thanks. I'll let you know. I think I'm gonna take a shower, get this clammy feeling off me."

"I'll wait out here, in case you fall or something."

Astrid nodded, figuring if someone had to find her passed out naked in the shower, better Heather than anyone else. Not that she felt like she would, but Heather wasn't going to take no for an answer and it wasn't as though Astrid had never showered with Heather in her rooms before.

She survived the shower with no incident, dressing in the bathroom and heading out to a relieved Heather.

"You do look better now."

"I feel it. I'm gonna take it easy for the rest of the day still, and stick to crackers for a few hours, see how it goes."

"Sounds good. I've got a lecture, but I'll text you later when soup is done and you can tell me if you're hungry?"

Astrid agreed, and spent the rest of the day gnawing crackers and sipping the ginger drink, but thankfully her stomach seemed settled. Which was awkward, in a way, because it meant she really had been physically sick at the thought of seeing Eret and Hiccup. That was going to be a problem if it persisted.

Heather brought her soup, and they watched Netflix together for a bit, chatting aimlessly and working on their own course stuff in comfortable silence for a few hours more before Heather left to go to bed. Actually feeling alright, Astrid went to bed and slept pretty well. Thankfully, there were no more texts.

She ate breakfast, went to her lecture and, after briefly and painfully recalling Eret's schedule, Astrid ventured to the gym for the first time in weeks. Her fitness had dropped more than she liked, and Astrid was sweaty and panting far sooner than she used to be, but gods it felt good to work out again. The treadmill was therapeutic, and the weights bench gave her the ache of exertion that she realised she'd missed.

"Having fun?"

Gym regulars recognised each other, and Astrid knew Andi by sight, the girl who was just coming over for her own weights workout while Astrid dripped sweat onto the ground all around her, trying to get her sore legs to stand up.

"Yeah, I needed that."

"Not seen you for a few weeks, get hurt?"

"No, just... let the holiday break go on a little too long."

"Ah, been there! Going back to meal preps after bags of chocolate was not fun."

Astrid nodded, draining the rest of her water bottle.

"All yours."

The mention of chocolate had her brain turning that way, and she took it as something of a good sign - not an ideal post workout snack, but Astrid's interest in food returning was not unwelcome. Grabbing a protein bar from the vending machine to refuel, Astrid headed back to her dorm, showered, dried her hair enough that it wouldn't drip everywhere and dressed in clean clothes before she grabbed her backpack and headed off to the shops. It was a bit of a rough walk on her still-sore legs, a sign she needed to exercise more often since she used to run to the store and back, but she hadn't realised how much time she'd spent holed up indoors until Astrid felt the sun on her face again and enjoyed it.

She bought a lot of chocolate. More than she'd normally eat in a couple of weeks, but it all looked so tempting and Astrid reminded herself she was trying to put weight on again. So she could treat herself.

Maybe three big bars in one sitting had been a bit much though, as Astrid discovered when she was sick again, stomach protesting either the volume, the heavy sugar load or both. But that one was definitely just the chocolate. She'd overdone it, that was all.

Sleeping it off didn't help her shake the nausea though, and when she called, Astrid told Heather she'd gotten her own breakfast and was heading to her lecture soon so Heather wouldn't come over. Splashing water on her pale face, Astrid didn't want to miss class again, so she went in search of the dragon lunchbox she used as a first aid/medicine box to root through it for antacids to settle her stomach.

Moving a box of camo-patterned sticking plasters out of the way, Astrid felt like her stomach flooded with ice water as her hand curled around another box.

When had she last taken that?

Half an hour later, Astrid was in a pharmacy, paying for something with shaking fingers before she escaped back home. She'd been so damned out of it, Astrid hadn't realised her period was late. Sure, it could be stress, or weight loss, or even the fact she hadn't been regular with the contraceptive pill (because why bother? it wasn't like she was getting any...).

But Astrid could only convince herself so much until she did the test. Nerves climbed with every second as she paced, waiting and waiting for the allotted two minutes that might as well have been two hours.

And even then, she couldn't bring herself to look. Astrid didn't know if she wanted the answer. Finally gritting her teeth, Astrid forced herself to turn around and look at the ridiculously scary stick that sat in the sink. There, in the window, sat a little plus sign.

Pregnant.

-HTTYD-

Many thanks to Ship (who may or may not even actually read this story, and therefore not see this haha whoops) for letting me bug her for info on pregnancy, an area she has considerably more experience and knowledge in than I.