To the very rude, entitled little shit who left a review just to say "longer chapters": Fuck right off. If you want longer chapters, feel free to go write your own fic. Go find a fic with longer chapters! There's lots of them out there! Nothing is making you sit here and read my fic which apparently falls below your goliath standards.
To everyone else who was kind enough to leave an actual review of some kind, we love and appreciate all of you and are drinking your tears from special authors mugs.
-HTTYD-
Astrid immediately shoved down her shirt, turning away from Heather.
"It's nothing."
"That's not nothing. I have known you almost two years and not once have you mentioned having a tattoo."
"It's not a tattoo!"
It wasn't, not really. It was a lot more than that. After all the forced assimilation and attempts to wipe Sami culture and people from the map completely, their heritage meant a lot to them, and for Astrid the marking was a testament to her fathers love for her, allowing her to bear it despite not carrying the bloodline.
Although, Astrid was literally carrying the bloodline now, with one of Eret Sr's two sons having fathered the baby in her belly.
And their father wasn't going to still love her if he found out.
"Astrid, I'm not stupid. I saw that. And more than that, I recognise it. Why do you have the same tattoo as Hiccup and Eret?"
Heather followed her as she walked away, sucking in deep breaths because this wasn't supposed to happen. Nobody could know! And Heather was right. She wasn't stupid. Fighting back tears already from the sense of panic and fear and aching grief for last year, Astrid sighed and prepared, yet again, to lie to her friend.
"You were right, last year. I was seeing them" admitting it was a scary prospect, but Astrid needed Heather off her case so she had to lie with the truth "but they wouldn't... you know, stop. So we broke up. The tattoo was me having a mad moment, doing it to feel close to them. They don't even know I have it."
Gods, she sounded pathetic, but that was the point wasn't it? To make Heather sympathetic enough to drop it?
"Except that tattoo is clearly way older than that. Like, a few years old at least. And the twins told me it's a... wait."
Her stomach lurched at the tone of Heather's voice, practically hearing the cogs turning in her mind and immediately considering how best to get away with murder if she smothered Heather with a pillow. She'd have to leave the university, definitely-
"That was Hiccup I heard on the phone, wasn't it? You said it was just your brother, but… you were so damned secretive, and... my gods Astrid. Are they your brothers?"
Astrid bit back a whimper, shaking her head.
"Don't be ridiculous!"
Heather moved around to force Astrid to face her, crossing her arms and staring Astrid down.
"Alright, that's easy enough to disprove. Introduce me to your brothers. Hel, I'll settle for a photo."
This time, Astrid couldn't hold back the whimper. She curled in on herself, barely holding together as it was and Heather's pushing was enough to make her crumble. She was too overwhelmed, pregnant and terrified and alone and Heather's questions were more than her fragile state was able to hold up to.
So she crawled onto her bed and curled up in a ball, hugging her knees to her chest, knowing Heather had already worked out the horrifying truth.
"My gods! They are, aren't they?. I... how can... what the…"
Heather trailed off and Astrid, too scared to face her friend and see the disgust on her face, curled in even tighter. The silence stretched, with Astrid trembling, waiting, until Heather spoke again.
"I have to go."
Astrid closed her eyes and covered her ears, hoping it was all a terrible dream she'd wake up from, with no positive pregnancy test and no Heather figuring out how Astrid had got knocked up in the first place. The door slammed loudly enough for her to still hear it, and only then did Astrid realise the implications of letting Heather leave with that knowledge. She leapt up, clueless about what she would say when she opened the door. Looking, it seemed Heather had already cleared the hallway and Astrid wavered; if she followed Heather, what the fuck would they even say in public? Astrid couldn't just yell in public "please don't tell anyone I fucked my brothers" could she?
And if Heather saw her, she might yell something incriminating.
And Astrid needed to puke again.
Dragging herself up from the toilet, she groaned and really hoped the precedent for relentless morning sickness wasn't setting itself; months more of that didn't seem appealing at all. Her stomach was empty, aching from retching. She slowly sipped some water, then crawled back to her bed and cried for the impossibility of it all. She was awfully close to calling her brothers just to have someone, to be held and comforted and to feel safe and warm again... but that was almost as bad an idea as bedding them had been to begin with. And Astrid knew how weak she was for them, knew if she let them in now then she wouldn't be strong enough to push them back out ever again.
Gods, how was she going to tell them? They would flip out, obviously. It was agreed on so long ago that nothing like a relationship could ever happen, and that included 'starting a family', which Astrid was pretty sure included her having their child.
Done with the pity party, Astrid reluctantly got out of bed, buried her positive test amongst other rubbish so it wouldn't be spotted and cleaned up her face. She needed to start figuring out what to do – other than panic Heather was going to out her and that she and her brothers would be arrested for incest and their parents would disown them and...
Shaking off the mounting panic, or at least keeping it at bay for the moment, Astrid tried to think more clearly. If she was going to keep the baby, she had to stick with taking care of herself. Maybe picking up some kind of pregnancy-specific vitamin supplement. She needed to get rid of her alcohol stash, and look up what foods she wasn't allowed.
There was a voice in the back of her mind that told Astrid if she was putting that much consideration into it, she'd pretty much decided she was keeping the baby. But even with how horrible she felt and the new problem with Heather… trying to think about getting rid of what was part Eret and Hiccup, that was even worse. That was her decision made then… wasn't it?
Daring to think her stomach had settled. Astrid hesitantly ate some crackers, drank some of that hideous ginger drink Heather had insisted was good when someone was nauseous. Well, she didn't feel any worse.
Going back to the pharmacy she'd brought the pregnancy test from just a couple of hours ago felt too obvious. Astrid went even further out, past the usual shop of choice for the students to reduce the chance anyone would see her buying those vitamin things, because when someone got pregnant the gossip inevitably spread like wildfire, and Astrid really could not cope with another hit that day.
Thankfully, it was early enough most people were in lectures or bed still (it was only just gone midday after all), and Astrid managed to get her vitamins through the self-service checkout with a minimum of human contact, heading back to her room to continue melting down in private.
People were going to notice she and Heather weren't speaking or hanging out anymore, Astrid sighed as she curled back up in bed, absently rubbing her still-flat stomach. That was going to be something she couldn't hide forever. At least nobody saw her naked anymore. Her fingers brushed her tattoo, and she pulled back as though the inking burned her hand.
Astrid only got out of bed to eat and use the bathroom, before crawling back in and burrowing under the blankets. Too much, too many things... she just wanted her brain to stop, to quiet, for everything to go back to yesterday... or maybe last year...
The police didn't show up at her door, and neither did some kind of mob to mock her, so Astrid tentatively hoped Heather hadn't blabbed her sordid secret as she managed a fitful sleep that night. The next day passed much the same, Astrid alternating between mild panic and morning sickness that seemed to last all the way until the afternoon, though when it settled down she remembered to take her vitamin and tried to keep down some food. Surreptitously looking up expected pregnancy symptoms on the internet confirmed Heather's brief summation: tired, hungry and/or sick, usually all at the same time. So Astrid felt justified in going for a nap, despite having not done much that day yet.
She really wished she hadn't though.
Her dreams had latched on to that ill-advised desire of Astrid's, conjuring up images she'd denied herself for months.
Eret's arms around her, hand resting over Astrid's swollen stomach as he smiled. Hiccup beaming over at them both, his own arms full of their first child, a toddler soon to have a baby brother or sister. Playful kisses and cuddles, Astrid watching them chase an energetic bundle with dark hair and blue eyes, giggling and squealing "daddy!" when caught. Watching Eret do bedtime stories, hearing him putting on silly voices. Him jokingly offering Astrid bedtime stories that night when they went to bed, and Astrid feeling so very happy and warm and safe between Eret and Hiccup. Hearing them whisper "I love you" as she fell asleep...
Astrid woke with tears wet on her cheeks, feeling a raw, empty ache in her chest. She could barely breathe through the thick feeling in her throat, sitting up and choking on a few half-sobs before she managed to catch her breath at last.
She didn't want to do this. Or, more specifically, she didn't want to do it alone.
But what were her other options? Tell the twins? Sure, but they could hardly just casually co-parent when they were siblings. And that still didn't solve the issue of their parents finding out, or anyone finding out, really. If she carried on at uni she'd have to move, because she couldn't raise a baby in a dorm room and what would she do when she had to go to lectures, and if the baby looked too much like one of the fathers that would be tough to hide and would make anyone (else) discovering the fact Astrid was the twins sister even more disastrous.
So very lonely and scared, Astrid buried her face in her knees and felt the tears keep coming.
The knock at her door almost had Astrid leaping out of her skin, and she wholly intended to ignore it; she was in no state for visitors, or even conversation.
"Astrid, it's me."
Heather's voice did not help Astrid's general state of panic, but she couldn't risk Heather saying something incriminating through the door. So she tried to wipe her face, dragged her heavy limbs out of the bed and wondered why Heather didn't just use her damned key as she opened the door.
"What?"
"This really a conversation you want to have here?"
Sighing, Astrid shook her head and moved so Heather could come in, crawling right back into bed when she saw the door closed behind her... well, maybe Heather wasn't her friend anymore.
"What do you want?"
"Honestly, I don't really know. Are you alright?"
Astrid shrugged, still heavy with that damned dream.
"You woke me. Nightmares."
Well, to anyone else some kind of domestic romantic bliss with their siblings was probably a bad dream. Heather frowned, but she sat on Astrid's desk chair like she usually did.
"How... I just... how does that even happen? And how do you cover something like that up?"
Astrid shrugged again, pulling her blankets tighter around herself.
"It just... it was an accident, at first. I asked them to keep it quiet that I was their sister" what was denial going to do? Heather knew "cus I didn't want everyones first impression of me to be coloured by their... you know, thing. Same reason I asked them not to pick you up, cus I didn't want to hear about it and you overshare."
"So it only happened here?"
Heather asked, still seeming to be somewhere between horror and curiousity.
"Yeah. I... in a way, it was your fault. Sort of."
"My fault?"
"You saw Hiccup talking to me when we first started here, and you said something like 'could have been a threesome'. It was just this... thought I couldn't shake."
"So it's been going on since then?"
Astrid shook her head, reaching for the horrid ginger drink she knew she'd probably be getting familiar with over the coming months.
"No. Remember that pre-term party around new years?" Heather nodded "I was smashed, and by that I mean I was drunk enough that when Hiccup walked me home to make sure I got there, I thought it was a great idea to kiss him."
"Wait... you had a hickey that next day. Was that him?"
"Yeah. I avoided them for a few days, then he asked me over to talk and... it just happened. And then everyone knew and I couldn't convince anyone it hadn't happened."
Heather's brow creased, thinking.
"You had Hiccup's shirt on. You know, if you'd just told everyone they were your brothers then, nobody would have questioned something like you wearing their shirt or even spending the night over there."
"You said I looked like I got laid. And I was panicking! It wasn't meant to happen, I didn't have the chance to make something up. And then it was 'out', and I couldn't take it back and I definitely couldn't let on they were my brothers."
"How come you guys don't look anything alike?"
"Same mom, different dads. Eret looks just like our dad, Hiccup looks mostly like mom. I look more like my biological father, brief fling when they were on a break after raising twins put a strain on their marriage."
Heather's next words, admittedly, surprised her.
"Well, being half-siblings is probably a good thing."
"Excuse me?"
"You're pregnant. I'm assuming you know that comes with risks?"
"Yeah."
"Well, its a pretty low risk with half siblings. You should still go get tested for abnormalities. If you keep it."
Heather was only voicing Astrid's own concerns, she knew, but still it made her shudder.
"You think I shouldn't?"
"Probably not. How are you gonna hide it from your parents? From everyone here? What if there is something wrong with them?"
Astrid curled up as though to protect her stomach, shaking her head.
"You just said its low risk."
"Low risk, not no risk."
"Don't the tests come with risk factors?"
Heather shook her head.
"Only some, the first ones are ultrasounds, and then a blood test on you after you're ten weeks along. You could..."
"I could what?"
"You can get a paternity test done off them too."
"Why would that matter?"
"Because Hiccup and Eret have visibly different dominant genes. Knowing which of them it was would mean you can prepare for who they might look like."
Nodding - that did make some sense, Astrid conceded - she had a question burning on the back of her tongue that she had to ask.
"Why do you care? You obviously think I'm... sick."
Even now, Astrid could see Heather was not unaffected by the information she'd gained.
"You're right, I really don't understand how you could... but now I realise what the last few months have been about. Something obviously made you break it off, so I wasn't wrong about a broken heart after all. Just... who. But I couldn't live with myself if I left you to deal with it all alone, cus it's clear you aren't going to them for help, and you probably aren't gonna turn to your mom."
Heather was painfully accurate. Astrid didn't have anyone else to turn to.
"Did you tell anyone?"
"No. Besides... who would believe me?"
"Probably the admin. It wouldn't take much for anyone with access to find out we actually share a surname and a home address. Honestly, it's amazing nobody ever noticed."
Heather nodded slowly.
"Better hope your luck holds out."
-HTTYD-
Yeah... Not that Astrid has had much luck lately.