Co writer swooped in and surprised me with most of this chapter, and it was gooooood!
Line break indicates scene jump, not POV change.
-HTTYD-
"So, you really want to go through with this?"
Astrid grimaced at the clearly audible doubt in Heather's voice, but refused to react in any other way. And by now, after several weeks of thoroughly thinking it through, she'd made her decision anyway.
"Yes," she replied as calmly as she could, one arm wrapped around her middle as if to cradle the tiny being that was growing inside her "as long as the child doesn't suffer from some obvious... defects because of the close relationship, I'm going to keep it."
With a heavy sigh, Heather shook her head with disbelief writ on her face.
"I don't get it. I remember us all talking about unplanned pregnancies over in the common room once. And I'm pretty sure you were one of those who said you'd get an abortion without hesitation if you ever got knocked up during your time at university. I mean, I know that opinions can change and all… I just didn't think this would be a situation that would sway a practical woman like you."
Astrid bought some more time by poking her fork at the food Heather had prepared for them both – homemade fried chicken and a colourful salad with lots of good things for pregnant people (according to Heather, but Astrid did trust her cooking) – but then decided that it didn't matter anymore if she told anything more. Heather knew, after all. Everything else was just context.
"It's… not that easy," she eventually muttered "I'd still say that, if I got knocked up from a one-night-stand despite using contraceptives, I'd terminate it right away. But this is different."
She took another sip from her ginger drink – she was getting used to the taste and it actually seemed to help reign in her sickness at least a little bit – before she dared to look at her friend again. Because that's what Heather still was, her friend. Despite how appalled she'd been and still was about Astrid's whole situation, she'd also made it clear that she'd always would be there for Astrid if she needed her.
But as expected, Heather didn't look convinced, so Astrid braced herself for a more detailed explanation.
"First, it wasn't some stupid accident with a broken condom or something like that. We… we never used them, not with each other–" the memories made her swallow thickly, but she forced herself not to dwell and kept going instead "–and it was my own stupidity and carelessness that made me not take my pill regularly anymore at that time."
Heather's expression had changed to thoughtful by now, but she still didn't seem satisfied by her answer.
"So… you think it was your fault rather than an accident and now, you are gonna go through with it as some kind of punishment for yourself? Yeah, no, I don't think that's a good enough reason to become a mother."
Astrid grimaced again at that conclusion, but shook her head.
"Probably not, but that's only one reason. Another is that it wasn't some random hook-up that got me into this position. I know the father, whoever of them it is, know that he's a good man."
Heather nodded, face still pensive.
"I suppose you're right. That still doesn't feel like a good enough reason to me though. I don't doubt your judgement of their characters; you obviously know them far better than I do, and even I wouldn't call them awful. But what does that matter? According to what you told me, it's not like you're about to get together and live happily ever after. No relationship and no starting a family, just fun and sex. Weren't those your rules? So, what difference does it make whether they're good men or not?"
Astrid swallowed and focused on her food again to hide her face. Heather's words reminded her of her nightmare again, of that perfect picture of family bliss with Hiccup and Eret and their children, of hugs and cuddles and kisses. Of how much she wanted it all, and of how impossible it was.
"It makes a difference to me."
She mumbled in reply, voice low as though she didn't want to say it. Without really thinking of it, her arm around her body tightened again. Heather still didn't appear convinced, so Astrid reluctantly carried on.
"But it's not so much about their characters, but more about… them. I-I just can't stand the thought of terminating something that's partially them, you know? You're right that any Happily Ever After is impossible, and I know that. But since I'm pretty sure I lost them as family anyway, I want to at least keep this part of them. Does that make sense?"
For a while, Heather was quiet and only when Astrid looked up at her again did she answer.
"I see..." she murmured, almost inaudibly low as she then asked "you really fell for them, didn't you?"
All Astrid could do in response to that was nod mutely. That was the problem, after all. She loved these two idiots, and not just as her brothers. No, definitely not. Heather was right, she'd fallen for them, hard. Even after all these months gone by, she still missed them terribly. Missed their arms around her, their kisses, sometimes light and playful and sometimes heated and hungry. Missed the way they could make her feel; light and happy when they bantered, high on pleasure when they fucked, and completely at ease when she lay cuddled between them at night.
But no matter how much she wanted it all back, it was out of reach for her, forever. Even if she went back to them under the guise of just sex, they'd have questions she couldn't answer, and it would hurt her more in the long run, and then they'd definitely notice Astrid was pregnant. So that was just an all round bad idea.
So now, all that was left to her was going on with that hole in her heart and focusing on the new life that was growing inside her.
"Alright. I won't pretend to understand how one can fall for their own brothers, but I guess I can accept that that's what happened to you..." Heather eventually went on, rubbing her forehead as though she could dislodge the unwanted aspects of her thoughts "but if you really plan to keep the baby, then I'd say it's time to get some professional support. We're going to make an appointment for an ultrasound – no, don't even try to argue – and you really should get that paternity test done."
Astrid sighed.
"What's the point? I know it's got to be one of them. And… well, I don't really care which of them specifically is the father."
Heather looked to be visibly restraining herself from rolling her eyes.
"Yeah, I get that. But listen to me, because there are two reasons. First, if you want to make sure the child doesn't suffer from any genetic problems because… because of your close relationship, then you're going to need to get a thorough DNA check anyway. With all that going on, you might as well just do the paternity test too, since you'd need to do a thorough check there too, with them being brothers and sharing the same parents, so the same Y chromosome..." Heather took a breath and a mouthful of water, before she continued "and second… well, forgive me for being blunt, but things will be a lot easier if Hiccup's the father. You said he looks more like your mom, so when the child looks like him, too, you can always claim those similarities from your side, your mother. But if Eret is the father and the child shows Sami features? Then you want to be prepared and have some excuses ready."
Astrid tightly pressed her lips together, but nodded.
"You're right. But... how do I do a paternity test without them knowing?"
Part of her knew she probably should tell the twins, but had no idea how, and the terror of their possible reactions choked her whenever Astrid tried to think of the words.
"Well, the best would be if they came along to give a blood or saliva sample. But since you're adamant about not telling them…" she paused, pointedly raising an eyebrow at Astrid as she paled and vigorously shook her head "well, we're still going to need a DNA reference sample for each of them. That could become a little tricky, I guess. I'm not sure if using their spit from a cup they used in the cafeteria will be enough, though it might do..."
Again, she trailed off, but this time because Astrid had perked up with a somewhat hopeful thought, Heather visibly curious.
"Maybe I know how we can get their DNA. I… kinda still have the key to their flat."
"You have... of course you do. Wait, I have a question."
Chewing on the last piece of chicken from her salad, Astrid gestured with her fork in a go on motion.
"Was that your shirt left there?"
Astrid swallowed.
"Yes. I almost ran into you that morning going to get it. I think I left it there when I had to get dressed in a hurry once, but I was always stealing their clothes anyway. Half my hoodies are hand-me-downs cus they both grew like a foot taller in the space of a year, which meant new clothes."
Heather tsked, shaking her head.
"Wow, you really went all out to avoid me finding out, huh?"
"To avoid anyone finding out. Keeping it from you was obviously hardest, cus I had to be careful not to mention they were my brothers, but we also didn't want anyone wondering what was so special about me that I got to keep going back. Couldn't risk anybody looking too closely."
Heather nodded slowly.
"Understandable. Well, as understandable as it can be. Still weird."
Honestly, Astrid didn't care what Heather called it; she was supporting Astrid all the same despite her own feelings on the matter. So weird was tame. And true.
"So... how do we do this?"
Astrid still knowing most of the twins routine helped she and Heather plan the 'retrieval' out, though Astrid wasn't far enough along for the paternity test just yet, but the sample would still work in a few weeks time. Heather texted to say she could see them, that they had just sat down to eat with some friends. Relieved, Astrid headed up the stairs to their flat, momentarily anxious they'd have changed the locks and her plans would be for nought.
The lock opened fine though, and Astrid slipped in and shut the door behind her before the enormity of it really hit her.
How many times had she been pinned to the wall and soundly kissed just there? How many times had happiness flooded her system when they couldn't even wait for her to walk in, they just had to come and hug her in greeting? Hel, Astrid had lost count how many times she'd come there against the wall, that blatant lust for each other surging on sight as hands went under her skirt, moaning against a hungry mouth.
The sofa was painful viewing, full of memories of lazy cuddles and rampant fucks, sharing meals and laughs and kisses, all the times Astrid had been contently wedged between her brothers as they watched movies.
Tears spilled over her cheeks as Astrid choked on a muffled sob, the ache in her chest of how much she missed them so much more acutely painful surrounded by such familiarity. Scrubbing a hand across her eyes to try and stem the flow of emotions, though it was completely pointless and Astrid stumbled along, legs shaking until she could smell Hiccup's leather jacket, saw his bedroom door was open. Saw the bed.
She didn't even try to resist, all but crawling onto it. Hiccup's bed, where only she and Eret tended to get to. The bed Astrid had spent so many hours in, feeling so warm and safe and happy...
Astrid might have just cried herself to sleep there, but Heather texted her to ask if Astrid had what she needed, and she realised she needed to get a move on. Breaking down could happen later.
Both Hiccup and Eret's hair brushes were in Hiccup's room, which was telling that Eret was still spending his nights with his twin brother. Not that Astrid was surprised. Why would they stop? It wasn't like they felt Astrid was missing.
Heather's words rung in her head as Astrid picked through the brushes, searching for visible follicles for viable samples. She'd even given Astrid paper envelopes to collect them in, because apparently paper preserved them better. At least the twins didn't share these, having different needs since Hiccup had such a thick mop while Eret had softer, finer hair. Making sure the bags were labelled with which was which, Astrid caught sight of herself in the mirror. The fact she'd been crying was terribly visible, so she went to clean herself up a bit in the bathroom first.
She lifted her shirt in front of the full length mirror in the bathroom, poking at her stomach. Regaining her lost weight had continued, despite the still-present morning sickness, though her muscle tone would take longer to regain and that became doubly true when she discovered she was pregnant. There was no proper visible 'bump' yet, but Astrid could feel the solid shape where it would soon swell already, especially with her slender figure that wouldn't disguise it at all.
"They've finished eating, get a move on if you haven't left yet."
Astrid went back to Hiccup's room to make sure there was nothing obvious to say she'd been there, catching sight of a discarded t-shirt on the back of Hiccup's desk chair...
Feeling so lonely and sure Heather would think her pathetic, Astrid took it. It was Eret's t-shirt, but it smelled more like Hiccup. Hopefully they'd not notice... it looked as though it had been thrown there in the midst of undressing each other anyway, so Astrid figured they were distracted at the time it ended up there.
Letting Heather know she'd left, Astrid went back to her dorm, stolen hair and t-shirt stuffed in her bag. Heather found her there curled up in a ball on her bed, hugging the stolen t-shirt and trying not to cry. She peered into the sample bags and nodded, confirming to Astrid she had enough.
"Hair doesn't degrade very quickly either, so they'll be good when you're far along enough to get tested."
Astrid nodded mutely, still feeling the raw emotions being back in their flat had stirred up. Gods, she missed it. Missed them. Heather had brought food, eventually coaxing it into Astrid by bribing her with chocolate for after.
"You obviously need a minute, so booking you a doctors appointment so you can get an ultrasound can wait until tomorrow. If you're not going anywhere today, get some rest."
About to agree, Astrid jumped when her phone began to rattle on the side. Heather was there, so who was calling her? Heather leant over, peering at the screen.
"It's your mom."
Sucking in a deep breath, Astrid nodded and reached out. Heather handed her the phone, obviously waiting to find out what it was about or maybe see if Astrid was about to melt down again.
"Hello?"
"Hello love! It's good to hear your voice for a change" Astrid could hear the laugh in her mothers tone, but knew it was true she rarely answered her phone "how are you doing?"
Pregnant by my brothers, absolutely terrified and an emotional wreck.
"I'm alright. Tired, but thats student life."
"Are you sure? The boys said they've not had much luck getting hold of you, is everything alright darling?"
Valka was so damned sincere, it was harder to lie to her than anyone.
"Oh, you know, between the gym and studying I'm never paying attention to my phone. Is something up?"
"Did they not tell you?"
Astrid felt anxiety start to prickle on her skin, sensing something was going on that she didn't know about.
"Tell me what?"
"Oh, we'll be dropping by to visit next weekend for the boys birthday" oh fuck, was that next weekend? "and wanted to make sure you'd be around so we could see you too!"
Astrid seemed to have a visibly negative response to that, judging by the concern on Heather's face.
"O-oh" could she say no? that would probably be suspicious "I... I guess I should be."
She'd been steadfastly not thinking about their birthday, because it would have meant thinking about the trip back and being around their parents, and being around them...
"That's wonderful! It's been too long love, I do miss you all, so far away."
Astrid somehow managed to complete the phone call without completely freaking out, letting the phone drop from numb fingers as soon as she heard the beep of her mom hanging up.
"What happened?"
She explained the other half of the phone call, Heather's mouth tightening in a frown knowing Astrid had basically committed to going.
"Well, you knew you couldn't really avoid them forever."
Astrid nodded, curling back in on herself and wincing at the prospect of not only seeing them again, but it being in front of their parents, who had no idea of everything that had transpired between their children.
And none of them had any idea she was pregnant.
-HTTYD-
Oooooop!