Yes, we know it's been a long wait, but co-writer had Real Life, these things happen, but they worked very hard on this one and I was so excited watching the chapter develop.

Many thanks also go to ShipMistress, for being a fountain of knowledge (such as... there's an app for everything!).

-HTTYD-

Touching the big button on her phone's display was the last thing she managed before the pain became too strong to even think. Again. With her free arm, she heavily leant onto the sideboard, the other one clutching at her swollen belly, and focused on breathing through the contraction. Deeply inhaling through the nose – slowly exhaling through the mouth. And again. And again. And again…

When it was over, Astrid pressed the button again and checked the numbers written into the neat little chart of her Contraction Tracker app. It had lasted for 38 seconds and had come 17 minutes after the previous one. She grimaced. What was she supposed to do with that?

It had all sounded so simple in her antenatal classes. Uterine contractions feel very much different from the Braxton-Hicks-contractions she already knew. And when they come as frequently as every ten minutes (or even more often) and last for longer than 30 seconds then it's time to get to the hospital. Very simple indeed.

Or so she'd thought…

But instead, looking at the numbers in that chart gave her a headache in addition to everything else. For hours now she'd been tracking her contractions, and in nearly all cases, they lasted for longer than 30 seconds. That much was easy. But did they really feel differently from those Braxton-Hicks-contractions of the previous weeks? Or were they simply a little bit stronger? And what about the intervals? They came relatively regularly, but not as regularly as required. The breaks in between were rarely longer than twenty minutes but never shorter than ten.

What was she supposed to do?

Astrid whimpered when another contraction started and she clutched at the nearest solid form to hold on to, the door frame to her kitchen this time. Fuck, it hurt, felt as if her body was tearing itself apart. Unbearable.

When she could think clearly again, there were tears on her cheeks. What was she supposed to do indeed… So far, going through pregnancy on her own had been manageable. Even easy in a way as she didn't have to discuss decisions about which cribs to buy or which nappy bin system to use with anyone else like the other soon-to-be-mommies in her classes. But right now, she wished there was just anyone else around, someone with whom she could talk about whether to get to the hospital yet or to wait a little longer. What if she went there only for the midwife there to tell her to go home again and come back later? That was like… the worst thing she could imagine! But for how much longer could she wait?

She also had to somehow get to the hospital... Of course, she could wait for her water to break, officially enabling her to call an ambulance to get her there, but she didn't really want to do that. How was she supposed to get back home when her second-hand baby car seat was in her new – well, new to her – car? But if she drove herself there, then she had to drive there by herself! She hadn't worried about that before, but right now, with these contractions making doing anything but enduring the pain impossible, driving a car seemed like an insurmountable task. And the longer she waited the harder it was going to get.

All she wanted was to crumple in on herself and cry, but with a baby about to come out of her, that was not an option.

Dammit, why was she feeling so weird, so practical, so horrible? This was supposed to be a good day! After endless weeks of feeling like an inflated balloon, she was finally ready to pop as she went into labour. She should be elated that things were getting started, be excited to soon hold her little baby boy in her arms, even scared of what lay ahead of her. But all she felt was uncertain anxiety, a strangely numb practicality, and fear. If only she had someone to help her decide, to support her…

But there was nobody, and that was her own fault. She'd run away from everyone, had left everything behind, and now, she had to live with the consequences.

You made this bed, now lie in it.

"Damnit, Astrid, pull yourself together!"

She hissed between her clenched teeth, then grabbed her pre-packed hospital bag to look through it one last time. Half an hour later and after adding the charging cable for her phone and a bar of chocolate to her bag, she clambered awkwardly down the stairs, hissing every time she moved too fast and jostled her strained body, clutching to the banister for dear life.

The next contraction overcame her just as she'd reached her car, making her nearly double over if she hadn't been able to lean onto the roof in time. It felt like a sign, she thought bitterly. She shouldn't be driving herself. But she had no choice. Slowly, Astrid made her way to the hospital, having to halt and take a break every time she had another contraction so she didn't cause an accident in the near black-outs of pain. Somehow, it felt as if they were coming more frequently now, but she couldn't be sure. Honestly, she wasn't sure of anything anymore.

The whole trip was a blur to her. She arrived at the hospital with tears in her eyes, though whether of relief or desperation she did not know. The way from the parking lot and through the large complex seemed endlessly longer than when she'd been there before, the bag over her shoulder heavy and her body weakened by the hours before already. Waiting at the delivery ward for a midwife to have time for her was almost too much, and by the time a young woman – or rather just a girl, really – beckoned her to follow, she was trembling, both arms cradling her bump as if it was all that kept her sane anymore.

Which wasn't so far off, she mused somewhere in the depth of her mind. Her baby was all that mattered, all that still held any meaning. If it wasn't for her little boy, she might just give up.

"Miss Hofferson?"

Astrid blinked, looking around in bewilderment. She still wasn't used to her last name… It took her a moment to remember where she was, half sitting and half lying on a complicated-looking delivery bed in one of the maternity rooms, connected to the cardiotocograph machine. How she'd made it there was utterly beyond her, but at least she was there.

"Miss Hofferson? Are you feeling alright?"

Astrid's eyes found those of an elderly midwife she recognised from an earlier visit.

"Uh… Yeah, I'm… I'm okay," she mumbled, rubbing her eyes "What…"

She gestured to the machine.

"Your baby's heart rate is good," the midwife said, smiling. "You fell asleep while we took the CTG, though. You must have been pretty exhausted."

Astrid nodded. She felt exhausted. But at least she'd made it there. Now, she just had to make it through the rest of it.

Or so she'd thought.

"You also had a few contractions, but they weren't effective yet."

The midwife went on, an apologetic expression on her face now. Astrid gulped.

"And… what does that mean exactly?"

The older woman sighed.

"It means that I can't do much for you right now. It's possible that the contractions will become stronger over the next couple of hours, but it could also take another day or two" Astrid's distress must have been immediately apparent, because she reached to pat her hand, her lips pulling into a sympathetic smile "my suggestion would be to return home for now, my dear. You're awfully tense; you should try to relax, to calm down. Maybe that's all you need. We often recommend a warm bath."

Logically, Astrid knew that it was sound advice. She really was too tense, too anxious, too worn out. But it wasn't exactly logic that was ruling her mind right now.

"No!"

She vigorously shook her head, not really caring about the fresh tears in her eyes. Gods, she was in shambles.

"No... what?"

"No, I can't. Please don't send me home again, please" she felt pathetic, begging as if she'd done something wrong and didn't want to be punished. But then she remembered that she actually had a reason not to be sent home again. She took a deep breath, forcing herself to calm down a little before continuing "I can't go home again. I-I came here on my own. By car. Making that trip once was bad enough, and I don't know whether I can make it again if the contractions become stronger."

The midwife grimaced.

"You drove yourself? In your condition?" at Astrid's nod, she clicked her tongue disapprovingly "that was foolishly risky."

Astrid couldn't really argue, shrugging hopelessly at the midwife. She sighed, and her voice became more gentle again.

"The child's father is not around to help you?"

Astrid sucked in a breath and averted her face. She hadn't thought about them in a while, not really, hadn't let herself think about them. Clinging to her memories and all the 'What if's' did her no good and only kept hurting her.

"No, he's not."

She replied in a small voice.

"I see…" the midwife nodded "well, what about your parents? Any other family members? Friends? Someone we can call for you?"

Astrid shook her head at every suggestion, a fresh lump forming in her throat. She'd been incredibly sufficient in cutting off all ties to her former life, and hadn't yet had the chance to make new friends. Not that she'd really been looking - Astrid had too many secrets to open up to someone new just yet.

She jumped when the other woman squeezed her hand. She hadn't noticed that she'd started to cry again, but her cheeks were wet, her eyes stinging, cheeks uncomfortably hot.

"It's alright, lass. We'll get you through this. And you're right, I can't send you home under these conditions. Let me…" she trailed off, fishing for something in her pocket and then pulled out what looked like a small phone. She pressed only one button and the answer came immediately, a tinny Yes? "Hey Marjory, Helga here."

The midwife said and held up a hand toward Astrid, indicating her to wait as she left the room.

Astrid didn't get the chance to ponder about what to do, another contraction making her double over and clutch at her bump, and when she could breathe normally again, the midwife had already returned.

"It's alright, you can stay here. You're lucky, there are enough free spaces over in the maternity ward for once, so that's not a problem. Come on, I'll take your bag and show you the way."

An hour later, Astrid was set up in a clinical hospital room. She was relieved that she hadn't been sent home again, grateful even. Yet at the same time, simpyy staying in her room wasn't an option either. Because the hospital didn't have the luxury of a one-bed-room, of course, and while she was genuinely happy for the other woman and her partner with their beautiful little daughter… Astrid just couldn't stand to be around them.

So she spent the rest of the day walking up and down the corridor of the maternity ward, leaning against the wall whenever another contraction came, and tried not to feel too sorry for herself. She would be fine. It wasn't long now anymore, she could go into labour for real any minute. She wasn't exactly looking forward to the pain, but it would be worth it. At the end of it all, she would hold her precious boy in her arms and everything would be fine. Only a few more hours.

Probably.

Hopefully…

Time lost all meaning to her as she kept walking the corridor over and over again, the pain in her stomach giving contrast to the ache in her legs, allowing her to ignore it. She knew that she could go out into the park as well or maybe just to the cafeteria downstairs, but she didn't dare to do so. What if her water broke? What if the contractions became stronger? After a while, the pain of the contractions lost some of its bite. Not because they had become weaker in any way, but more that she'd become used to them, could handle them better. Which was good, because it would only get worse. Would she be able to climb the stairs back up there again? Probably not. So she just kept walking past the same walls, groaning in pain at every contraction, and waited. And waited. And waited…

When she woke in the morning, she felt too weak to even turn her head. At some point during the night, a nurse had insisted she go to bed and try to sleep. And she had slept, though not much, the bed too uncomfortable and her mind too restless. For all her life, she'd prided herself as being strong and independent, for not needing anyone. But now, she wasn't so sure that was still true.

There was a stray thought in the back of her mind, one she wasn't quite ready to face but it was there. It was there when the day started like the previous one had ended, when she fled the room and the happy little family as soon as she'd forced down her breakfast, when she spent more endless hours wandering the corridor. By noon, she felt too weak to go on.

She couldn't do this.

Not alone.

With shaking hands, she pulled out her phone, still reluctant even though she knew what she had to do. The number was still there in her contacts, even though she hadn't called it in several months, not after that one time when she'd called to keep a promise. She hesitated again, her finger hovering over the call button before she forced herself to press it. The ringing seemed to take forever. Then…

"Hello?"

Astrid took a shallow breath.

"Heather? It… It's me. Astrid."

She paused, waiting for a reaction. And what exactly was it she wanted to say anyway?

"Oh, thank the gods! Astrid, are you alright? Where are you? Please, Astrid, tell me. And how's the baby?"

With a low whimper, Astrid closed her eyes.

"I'm…" what was she going to say, fine? No, she wasn't fine… "I'm at the hospital. Heather, I… I can't do this alone. C-can you help me?"

There was a long pause, and even though she knew she would deserve it, the fear of rejection almost made Astrid go crazy. Then Heather finally answered, the urgency in her voice palpable.

"Where are you?"

Just little over half an hour later - Astrid had only moved over to the next bigger city when she'd fled from her old life - Heather was hugging her in greeting, as tightly as she dared with the bump in the way and without the slightest hint of resentment.

"Gods, you're such an idiot, Astrid."

Heather muttered into her ear, and despite the mild insult, Astrid had an oddly comforting sense of 'now, everything will be okay'.

In hindsight, Astrid couldn't say what exactly brought the change. Maybe seeing Heather again after over half a year excited her more than she'd expected. Maybe being hugged by a friend was enough to make her ease up and let go of the tension in her body. Or maybe having the support of someone who actually cared for her gave her the boost of strength she needed.

But with Heather's support, both practical and emotional, Astrid agreed to go to the cafeteria after all where they settled to talk. She wasn't hungry but gladly accepted the cup of tea Heather ordered for her, taking a sip every now and then in-between filling her friend in. That the baby was fine but that he seemed to take his time. That she was living in a small flat now and was working at home. That she hadn't had any contact with her family any more, had even changed her name…

"...so after I revised the website and online store for their art supplies, the main company was so satisfied with my work that they also hired me for five of their other branches" she paused, breathing through another contraction practically by reflex before she went on "I mean they're not that big, but the boost was still good for my reputation. Enough so that I at least have enough work to pay my bills now. And I was able to even afford a car."

Astrid smiled to herself. Her old second-hand Toyota Yaris, coloured a lovely shade of turquoise, was her pride and joy. Not because she was a car nerd in any way, but having a car of her own gave her a sense of freedom, of accomplishment. Like a symbol of how she was finally getting a grip on her life. Getting the baby seat fitted felt like a step towards having a handle on impending motherhood too.

After a quick glance at her watch, Heather sighed.

"I'm so glad to hear that you're doing alright," she said with a genuine smile and a slight shake of her head. "You have no idea how worried I was for you. And not just me, you know? Dagur was frantic when you just disappeared without a word. Blamed himself, too, that idiot. And…" She broke off, swallowed, then shook her head again. "Ah, nevermind. We can talk about all that later. How are you, how's the baby? What do the doctors say?"

Astrid was incredibly grateful to Heather; not only for coming here in the first place, but also for leaving that much-needed conversation for another time. Thinking about how… how they might have reacted was more than she could handle right now.

"I'm… okay," she said with a slight shrug. Which was truer now than it had been only two hours ago "relatively speaking. Thankfully, there were no complications with the pregnancy and the baby is fine, too. All ultrasounds and tests came up negative. He's big, though," she added. She averted her eyes, smiling distractedly, and murmured without thinking "just like his father."

Then her conscious mind caught up with what she'd just said and her face crumpled into a pained mask. It wasn't the first time that thought had come up in her mind, not at all. Every time her gynaecologist had measured the baby's size and weight, they'd commented about how her boy was above average. And every time, she'd inwardly smirked, knowing where it came from.

But that didn't mean that she wanted to talk about it. She didn't even want to think about it, about them. About all the 'What if's and all the dream versions of the lives they could have had. It was just too painful. Even after all these months, she still wasn't over them, and somewhere deep down inside her she doubted that she ever would be.

"Astrid?"

She whimpered, bending over with both arms wrapped around herself as yet another image rose in her mind. Hiccup standing behind her with his arms around her waist as they both watched Eret sing their son to sleep. It felt like a sling around her heart got pulled tight, strangling her from the inside. Gods, how much she wanted that image to be real.

"Astrid, what's wrong? Talk to me, please."

Heather sounded tense, worried.

"It's...nothing," she tried to reassure her friend. "Just–"

She broke off again, clutching at her belly and breathing through another contraction. Fuck, when would this pain finally be over? And how was it still getting worse?

"I think we should go back."

With a few curt motions, Heather gathered their things and stood up, one arm reached out to help her up as well. Astrid breathed deeply and nodded.

"Alright," she agreed. Her eyes lingered on the tea Heather had bought her though, and even though she wasn't thirsty, she felt bad for wasting it. "Let me just finish my tea and we c-"

"Forget the tea, we're going now," Heather interrupted her "maybe you weren't paying attention, but that was already the fourth contraction in ten minutes, and the past half hour wasn't that much better. We're going back to the delivery ward. Now!"

Astrid's eyes widened. Heather was right, she hadn't paid much attention, not since Heather had arrived and had distracted her so wonderfully. Mutely, she nodded and let Heather help her up. Her legs were weak and trembling, and thinking about what was, under normal circumstances, not that long a trip back to the delivery ward made her whimper.

However, they didn't make it far anyway.

It was a strange feeling, one Astrid could barely put into words. It was a bit as if the button of a too-tight blouse tore open and everything sagged back into place mixed with someone pinching and pulling at her skin before letting it plop back. Except that it was all going on inside her. She grunted and paused at the strange sensation, wondering what it had been when she felt warm liquid running down her legs.

"Uh… I think my water just broke,"

She muttered matter-of-factly, almost giggling at the realisation. Then her legs gave way beneath her, pain like none before tearing through her, and she screamed.

"Oh, fuck!" Heather cursed, stumbling under the weight of Astrid clinging to her arm. "Shit! Astrid? Astrid, what – Fuck! Can you hear me?"

Astrid nodded but couldn't get out a word, her body convulsing. Very distantly, she registered Heather calling for help, then a young woman in a nurse's uniform was kneeling next to her.

"What happened?"

She asked. Astrid couldn't see her face, her vision becoming blurry. All she noticed was a mop of bushy blond hair under the awfully bright hospital lights.

"Her water broke," Heather explained in a clipped voice "we need to get her back to the delivery ward."

Astrid felt like a rag doll as she got all but carried by them, one of her arms slung around each woman's shoulders as the sudden onslaught of pain had seemingly drained her of all her strength. The nurse was considerably shorter than she and Heather though, so Astrid hung somewhat crooked between them, making every step extra jarring and leaving her whimpering.

"Over here," the nurse ordered, and Astrid got lowered into a simple chair "okay, I'll fetch a wheelchair. You… what's your name?"

"I'm Heather. And this is Astrid."

"Okay. Heather, you stay here with her, I'll be back in a minute. And Astrid?"

Astrid forced her eyes to focus on the nurse's face. It was an almost impossible task, her body seizing with another contraction.

"You try not to panic, okay? I'll call the delivery ward, they'll be ready for you."

And with that, she was gone. Heather placed an arm around her shoulders to steady her, murmuring words of encouragement, but Astrid barely understood any of them. Her mind was too full to even think, occupied by a tiny spark of excitement that things were finally getting on, an equally tiny spark of fear of what lay ahead of her…

And above everything, there was pain.

Time was a strange concept.

The pain seemingly lasted forever, mind-boggling and excruciating. But when it was over about eight or so hours later, Astrid had the weird sense of it having been mere minutes instead.

With watery eyes, she gazed down at the tiny boy lying on her chest, wrapped in pre-heated towels to keep him warm, though his little hand had wriggled out to find Astrid's skin. Around her, the midwife cleaned up the room, but didn't disturb her if she could avoid it.

"I did it."

Astrid breathed, her head weakly leaning against the delivery chair's headrest and her eyes lingering on the tiny human in her arms. It was hard to wrap her head around it all.

"You did" Heather agreed with something like pride in her voice, even as she was shaking out her hand after Astrid had gripped it far too tightly for far too long "and look at him. He's beautiful."

With a dreamy smile, Astrid nodded.

"He really is."

She mused. He already had a thick patch of dark hair. The nose he'd clearly inherited from Eret, though not in size yet. It was so tiny! And his eyes… they'd barely opened so far, but there was something about their shape that distinctly reminded her of Valka. Of Hiccup. Shaking off that thought, she stroked over his head, his shoulders, down his arm and to his miniscule hand.

"And he's so small."

Heather snorted.

"Nine and a half pounds isn't exactly small, you know?"

Astrid's lips twitched, but she didn't react to the joking comment.

"Just look at these tiny ears. He's so cute! And his hands! Gods, I…"

She choked, a single tear running down her cheek. She'd really done it!

"Ms Hofferson?" The midwife had an apologetic smile on her face "I'm sorry, I won't bother you for long. But have you already decided on a name?"

She held up a writing board with an important-looking document. Astrid's smile faltered, but she nodded. She'd decided on a name long ago already, almost as soon as she'd learned the baby's sex.

"Henry" she all but whispered "Henry Erik Hunter."

The midwife started to write but then paused and frowned.

"Hunter? That's the surname?"

It was a fair question, she supposed. Hunter had risen in popularity as a forename. So, rather than point out she could name him anything she pleased, Astrid nodded tiredly and reasoned with the woman.

"Yes. It's my birth name. You can check it with my records."

"Alright" the midwife nodded "I'll leave you alone for a bit now so you and lil Henry can get to know each other. I'll be back in an hour or so, and if you need help just press the call button, okay?"

Once she was gone, Heather sat down at the edge of her seat and threw her a worried look.

"Not to be patronising, but…" she paused, hesitating "but are you really sure about that name?"

Astrid's shoulders tensed. That question could be patronising indeed, even rude. But she knew her friend well enough and understood that it was inspired by her worries about Astrid's well-being and not aimed at changing her mind or lecturing her. Besides… by coming here on such short notice and even staying, Heather had earned herself the right to ask such questions.

"Yes, I am," she explained slowly, caressing a soft chubby cheek. "I…I can never tell him who his father is, can never put a name onto his birth certificate. For one, he'd have to be here for that " she laughed humourlessly. "and nobody may ever know anyway, not even him. Giving him these names… It's the only way I can honour them as his fathers, you know?"

Her eyes were stinging. Oh, how much she wished it were otherwise, on all accounts. But before fresh tears could spill, Henry yawned, forming a perfect little O with his pink lips. It was an effective distraction, making her heart flow over with joy and even made her smile. She'd been right in fighting for him, her little sunshine. He was worth it.

"I see," Heather sighed. "But I actually meant Hunter. If you changed your name because you don't feel like you belong to that family anymore… then why give it to him?"

Out of reflex, Astrid's arms tightened around her son, and her eyes never left him as she answered.

"Because he is a Hunter. Henry is Sami, by blood and by right. No matter how much my fa-" she swallowed. "...his grandfather failed me, I still value how I've been raised. And I won't deny him access to the culture, or his heritage just because I don't belong to it."

When they returned to her flat a few days later, Astrid felt weird. Everything was the same as when she'd left, even her half-empty cup of tea still stood in her kitchen. Nothing had changed.

And yet, everything had changed.

"Come through into the living room."

She told Heather, who had carried the heavy car seat up the stairs. Heather followed, looking around curiously.

"So, thi is how you live now."

She noted, frowning at the empty walls bare of any decoration, compared to before when Astrid had a bunch of stuff that screamed 'family' back in her dorm room.

Astrid shrugged. So far, she hadn't felt like putting up any pictures or adding much of a personal touch to this place. It had only been some place she lived in. But now, that would change. Smiling to herself, she took the Polaroid the midwife had taken of Henry right after his birth and placed it onto the shelf above her desk. Later, she would get a frame for it, but for now, it would had to do. Because from now on, this would be her home, hers and Henry's.

Settling into this new life was both impossible and surprisingly simple. During those first hours, Henry was mostly peacefully sleeping in his bassinet placed next to her desk and she'd ordered pizza for her and Heather, which they ate in-between rearranging baby supplies. So simple...

Except that it wasn't.

Because Astrid didn't feel prepared at all!

For example, why had nobody in those antenatal classes ever mentioned how much she would be bleeding? If she hadn't been allowed to take some of those ridiculously large sanitary pads home and Heather hadn't gone to the drug store to get all the things she needed, Astrid would probably be entirely lost. How did anyone do this alone?

"Okay, I think I better get home now. It's been a long few days" Heather eventually said, chuckling as she stretched and stood up. "If you want, I can come here again tomorrow. I'll bring food and if you need anything else, text me, okay?"

Astrid nodded gratefully, but then paused.

"Actually… would you mind staying for another half hour or so?"

She felt a little stupid for asking, pathetic. Heather shrugged.

"Sure. What do you need me to do?"

"Nothing, really. Just…" Astrid bit her lip, her eyes shifting to Henry. "I wanted to take a shower. Wash my hair and get the icky hospital feeling off. But I don't… I shouldn't leave him unattended for that long, right? So… could you just have an eye on him? I promise that I'll hurry."

Smiling reassuringly, Heather nodded.

"Of course. Take your time, it's no problem."

Once Astrid stood beneath the hot spray, she found that she was grateful for Heather's presence in the flat for an additional reason as well. Standing for any length of time, even just the few minutes it took to wash and rinse off the suds, was surprisingly taxing on her body. What would she have done, what would have happened if she collapsed here with Henry being alone in the living room? Gods, what would she've done without Heather's support? And how was she supposed to go on if Heather wouldn't help her anymore? The prospect of being a single mother had always been daunting, but only now did she realise what exactly that meant. It was terrifying.

That thought still occupied her mind when she returned to Heather, but the sight that greeted her thoroughly distracted her.

"Am I right in guessing this wasn't always a cushion?"

Heather asked, holding up what once had been Eret's shirt.

Biting down on her lip, hard, Astrid merely shrugged and walked over to Henry's bassinet. He was still sleeping, but his eyes were moving behind their thin lids and he made these cute smacking noises that meant he would be getting hungry soon.

Heather stepped next to her.

"Do you want to talk about… them?"

Honestly? Astrid wasn't sure how to answer that question. On the one hand, she was eager, desperate even, to talk about them, to hear about them. Where were they now after they'd graduated? How were they doing? What were they doing? Had her leaving affected them at all?

That question, in particular, made her recoil though. What if her leaving hadn't affected them? What if they'd been even glad over her conveniently removing herself from their lives after she'd messed it up so thoroughly?

She sucked in a harsh breath at the renewed pain bursting in her chest, her hand gripping tightly at the bassinet's edge.

"No, I don't."

She replied in a low voice. For a moment, she thought Heather would press the subject but then she simply sighed, holding the cushion out to her.

"Alright."

Thankful yet again, Astrid took the cushion and placed it at the foot of Henry's bed. The closest he would ever get to-

No!

With more effort than she wanted to admit, she tore herself away from that train of thought. They weren't part of her life anymore and she had to accept that. Looking around for something else, anything else, to talk about, her eyes landed on a box full of chocolate pralines on her coffee table.

"Where did these come from?"

She asked, unsubtly changing the topic as she picked one of the chocolatey treats after making sure they contained no alcohol.

"Oh, they were a gift."

That confused Astrid. If they were from Heather, she wouldn't have opened them before presenting them to Astrid.

"From who?"

Heather replied suspiciously nonchalantly. Seemingly by reflex, her hand wandered to the pocket of her trousers. Was there a piece of paper peeking out?

"It was… do you remember the nurse that helped get you to the delivery ward?"

Astrid nodded, though it was somewhat hesitant. Her memories of those hours were dim at best.

"Well, she stopped by this morning when you took a nap, before the doctor came for your final check-up," Heather elaborated "she was curious, wanted to check how you and baby Henry were, and…" she shrugged, not meeting her eyes "we talked for a bit, but her shift was starting so she left before you woke up. And brought these, cus I think it went around the ward that there was no father in the picture, so she wanted to cheer you up."

Astrid cocked her head. She felt like she was missing something, but didn't quite have the mind to think further about it. Henry was making that little noise that said he was about to wake up.

"I'll leave you two alone then," Heather said when Astrid was settled in a cushioned chair a few minutes later, Henry in her arms and happily suckling "id there's anything else you need, you can call me, no matter the time, alright?"

Tired but grateful, Astrid nodded at the cup of fresh tea and the remote control for the TV on the table next to her.

"I think I'm good for now. Thank you. For everything."

Later that night, she lay in her bed, curled around Henry in her arms, and marvelled over how lucky she really was. She'd made it, her tiny miracle was proof of that. He was real. She lightly traced his eyebrows and nose with her fingertips, brushed over his lip, and smiled when his tiny hand reflexively closed around her finger.

He was all she'd hoped and more, his mere existence giving her reason and strength to go on. For him, she'd found the courage to call Heather again; a good decision if the last couple of days were anything to go by. At least she wouldn't be entirely alone in this.

Reflexively, she pulled Henry closer to her chest, shaking slightly. With Heather's help, she would surely manage. That was all she needed... Surely, the only reasons for her tears were happiness and that she was overwhelmed.

And if she told herself that often enough… then she might even believe it one day.

-HTTYD-

*flings chapter in to the void* ENJOY