Chapter 5

I changed up the storyline and how Joe died. Just a bit of a creative twist to work best with my character.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Flames licked her face, taunting her with their intense heat and power. All she could see was a mix of orange and yellow hues in front of her, the feeling of dread washing over her. The flames themselves were like works of art, flowing with ferocity. Had it not been for her immense terror, Madelyn would have found it all quite beautiful.

"Joe!" Madelyn heard herself scream, anguished. It was like watching a movie, but feeling it all happen at the same time. The dark pit in her stomach grew as the flames continued to surround her.

"Joe! Joey! Where are you!" Sweat poured down her face. She continued to scream.

And there he was, standing in front of her, reaching his hand out from the driver's seat of his car. Joe's face held pure, unadulterated fear. He tried to reach for her, Madelyn saw, and she did everything she could to reach back, but their hands wouldn't connect. Madelyn could feel the strain in her right shoulder as she almost slipped it out of its socket to reach her big brother. Her feet were frozen – with fear or with concrete, she couldn't tell.

"Maddie- help!" Raw pain was all she heard.

And then he was gone. Instantly, once again, just flames were in front of her, and she yelled out for her brother with no response.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Eyes wide, body shaking, Madelyn woke up in an instant. All she could feel was heat and claustrophobia, her blanket trapping her just as the flames had.

"No…no! Get off! I- Get off!" Madelyn struggled to untangle herself from the blanket, talking to it as she was still in between dream and awake. The weight of her dream crushed her chest, and she could feel herself start to hyperventilate. I couldn't save him. I couldn't save him. My fault.

"Mads, did you want coff – hey, hey what's going on?" Madelyn blinked and Danny was at her side, the younger of the two not questioning his presence at her apartment on a Tuesday morning.

"Fire – Joe – he- I. Dammit." Clutching the blanket in her hands, Madelyn felt the tears well in her eyes. She couldn't get the words out, and on top of the nightmare she had just had, it was enough to push her far beyond and way over the edge. I can't. I can't. Can't breathe.

Danny embraced his baby sister tightly, sitting down next to her on the bed. As the tears turned into sobs, and the hyperventilating continued with the heavy rise and fall of her chest, Danny sat there – helpless. He knew exactly what his sister had dreamt of – their brother's death. Right outside of Joe's apartment, and right in front of Madelyn, his car blew up as he entered it to get a jacket he had forgotten. One minute the skies were blue, the next, they were black with smoke. The Paramedics said that Madelyn had been facing the other direction and then was knocked out by the blast, thankfully shielding her from the awful sight. The only saving grace, Danny had thought back then, she didn't see it – she didn't know.

The immediate trepidation Madelyn had felt the previous week when Danny unexpectedly showed up to her office was warranted – but not because that was how she found out about her older brother. The few times a family member had showed up to work, someone had been injured in the line of duty. The day before Joe died, he had been involved in a shoot out that left him with a concussion. Linda had stopped by to tell her in person. If only that was the worst thing they would have had to deal with in that 24 hours.

"Ok, ok it's alright. I'm here." All Danny could do was hold her and pet her hair down as she shook. "Maddie, I know it's hard but I need you to breathe for me, alright? Just take a deep breath. Do it with me," he said, inhaling and exhaling.

Can't, no. Can't. Madelyn shook her head, her matted hair staying where it was as she tried to communicate her inability to truly breathe and be calm.

Madelyn felt Danny take her hand and put it on his chest. "Mads, you can't keep breathing like that or you're gonna pass out. Can you count my heartbeats for me, kiddo? Make sure I'm workin' ok?" Normally, Madelyn would've elbowed him for the joke, but in that moment, she tried her best to concentrate on his heartbeat. 1, 2, 3…34, 35.

Danny sighed with relief as Madelyn's breathing slowed, though she was still crying lightly. Poor kid. My poor baby sister. The generally stoic eldest Reagan pushed down his pain, stowed it, and locked it up tightly. Not the time, Danny.

Still grasping Danny's shirt for all it was worth, Madelyn spoke softly, "I couldn't get to him. Couldn't save him."

And Danny thought his heart couldn't sink any lower. The kid blames herself. "It was just a dream, kid. Even so, it wasn't your fault, you know that."

Madelyn nodded into Danny's chest. I know. Still hurts.

Finally realizing who was holding her, Madelyn pulled away and looked up at her oldest brother. "Wh-What are you doing here on a Tuesday morning?"

Danny gave her a wry smile. "Well, I heard from one of my buddies that was out on patrol last night that my favorite kid sister was out partying with some B-list male models. Figured Bea had something to do with it. Also knew you'd stay in bed all day since it's your day off, and I happened to be in the neighborhood."

Madelyn cracked a small grin, lightening Danny's heart a bit. "If that's your story," she replied, rolling her eyes. "Ow, Jeez," Madelyn said instantly, her hand going to her head. The eye roll had brought her headache to her attention. Am I hungover or am I hungover? Yikes.

"Come on, I brought you coffee and a donut. Knew you'd need some help this morning."

Madelyn stood, stretching and followed her brother into her living room, where a surprise besides a donut sat. Madelyn rolled her eyes…again regretting it. Gotta remember to stop doing that, even if those boys deserve it.

"Yeah, buddies on patrol my ass, Danny."

"Ok, so maybe the kid called me and told me about your phone call last night," Danny replied, handing his sister her coffee, "But still. Gotta hear about these models."

Madelyn sat on her couch, curling up next to Jamie. "They were nice, friendly, and nothing happened, Dad."

"No, but a guy tried to 'grind' on her and Tommy said 'no way, Jose,'" Jamie said, laughing.

Madelyn cringed, trying to remember exactly what she had told Jamie last night. She had bits and pieces- feeling happy about her night out, feeling dizzy, and something about normal…and Joey?

Danny raised his eyebrows, muttering, "Good thing it didn't happen. My gun can stay holstered for today."

Had she not had a headache, Madelyn would have rolled her eyes for the third time that morning. Her brothers would never understand that she was in her late twenties – a perfectly capable and independent adult who made good choices when it came to men. Well, they'll never know about Elliot so that will be true.

The siblings sat in silence for a few minutes, drinking coffee and watching the news that Jamie had turned on. In that silence, Madelyn started to perk up more, her brain finally functioning. She realized that yes, it was nice her brothers had brought her coffee, but is that all they were really here for – besides getting the scoop on the models? No, they're here because they're concerned. Crying with Jamie, that drunk dial…and oh crap, that nightmare Danny just witnessed. Here we go…"