I know, I know! To anyone sticking with this fic, please feel a large amount of love and gratitude.
-HTTYD-
As they'd already had three visits, Eret supposed he shouldn't feel too angry with Astrid cancelling on them that weekend. She'd called to say Henry was sick, and she did sound pretty tired, and there was none of the usual giggles and squeals in the background that came with a happy Henry.
"I'll let you know how he's doing and if you can see him next week, but all you'd get if you came over today is occasional screaming and getting puked on."
She hung up pretty soon after. Eret sighed as he relayed the information to Hiccup, and his twin shared the sigh before shuffling closer for a hug.
"This sucks."
"I know, but I do think she was being honest."
Hiccup reasoned, and Eret nodded his agreement.
"I know. And I'm not all that keen to get spewed on or anything, but if we'd been around from the start this wouldn't be a reason to cancel. It would be more like... a warning that us watching him would be messy and exhausting."
"Yeah. But that's the thing. Right now we're not watching him or taking care of him. It's more... supervised visits. I think we have to keep working on making Astrid trust that we want what is best for Henry. Which includes not bitching when Astrid doesn't want us there because Henry's unwell."
Eret huffed, but squeezed Hiccup tighter too.
"I guess. Stop being so reasonable, I'm trying to brood here."
Hiccup chuckled, rubbing Eret's chest lazily.
"Brood away, I'm gonna get my sketchbook out. Can you pose and brood at the same time?"
Eret rolled his eyes, but shifted to a comfortable but more stretched out position agreeably so Hiccup could draw him. He'd been mostly drawing pictures of Henry lately, including one where he'd drawn the boy in a miniature gatki. It was a sweet picture, but it hurt to look at for Eret. While he hoped to be able to pass on their Sami heritage and history to the boy as he grew, there was little chance they'd ever be able to take him to the Sami homelands to meet the family up there. And unless there was an unlikely occurrence where Hiccup and Eret met someone who didn't mind sharing them with each other (very unlikely), the likelihood of more little Sami babies was low. He adored Henry, and was proud to be his father, but Eret supposed coming to terms with Henry being the only one to carry their lineage on and never knowing it fully was bound to hurt.
Even if their father had disowned them both, they bore the family markings and kept in touch with their heritage as best they could.
Hiccup showed him the sketch he'd done, pretty rough but there was still some detail, and there was plenty of love in the drawing too. He always felt it when he saw Hiccup's drawings of him.
"Looks good. I think I'm gonna go for a run, burn off some nervous energy so I can relax."
"Alright. Want me to make you anything for when you get back? I'm gonna bake to relax me, so the oven will be warm."
"What are you making?"
"Chocolate cake, maybe some gingerbread if I have enough flour left over."
They didn't engage as heavily in Christmas as others, but the Sami people had been forcibly converted to Christianity a long time ago, so although now they were reclaiming historical practices, Christmas was still a holiday some celebrated. Which meant they all loved gingerbread, and ate it regardless of the time of year.
"If there's gingerbread, I'll settle for that and we can figure out dinner when I get back."
Hiccup nodded, already getting up and starting to root through the cupboards. Eret went to change, got a kiss on his way out and squeezed Hiccup's cute butt before he jogged out the door, chuckling to himself. Running usually helped to clear his mind and calm him down, and given that he was brimming with emotional energy after being told they couldn't see their son that day, it seemed a better use of said energy than sitting at home moping and cultivating resentment.
A small voice in the back of his mind was arguing that he wasn't just disappointed about not seeing Henry, but he smothered it by throwing in a short sprint. His heart was too confused and conflicted to think about how he'd wanted to see Astrid again, too.
Chasing away all those difficult thoughts, he headed up toward the nearest park, which was a forty minute round trip while jogging, then looped around the block for ten minutes before he headed back up the stairs, sweaty and hungry. The amazing smells in the kitchen set his tummy rumbling even more, chocolate cake in the oven and reindeer-shaped gingerbread biscuits on the side waiting, the air sweet and spicy and delicious. Hiccup looked adorable with flour dusted all over him and a little cocoa smudged on his cheek.
"You made my favourite shapes!"
"Of course. You wanted gingerbread, so I made them extra special."
Much as he wanted to kiss Hiccup senseless in gratitude, because it was exactly what Eret needed, Eret knew he was sweaty and that plus Hiccup's flour coating would have made for a terrible mess. So he settled for a little kiss, then promised to thank him properly once he'd taken a shower.
Just to add to all the sweetness, Hiccup made him a hot chocolate to go with his protein bar while the cake was cooling, and though it was hardly the weather for it, Eret adored the warm, cosy feelings too much to care. Between the hot drink and the heat from the oven, Eret did have to open a window, but that was a small concession and he felt delightfully soft and comfortable by the time he was done. That plus the smell of cinnamon and ginger filling the air was almost enough to put Eret to sleep, and it had definitely eased his sore mood about Astrid having to cancel.
He actually ended up napping while the biscuits were cooling, and woke to the delightful sight (and smell) of a plate of gingerbread reindeer on the table, ready and waiting next to a glass of milk.
"I debated making you a protein shake to go with them, but since you already had a protein bar and hot chocolate, I thought it might be too filling."
Hiccup was definitely more at ease too - their individual relaxation techniques had obviously worked, and now they had each others company and tasty snacks to keep their spirits up afterwards. They watched TV for a while, snacking on reindeer biscuits and occasionally fooling around before they went in search of dinner. Since they were low on a few things, Eret offered to go and do a quick food shop while Hiccup cooked (he also offered to do it the other way around, but cooking relaxed Hiccup more while physical activity relaxed Eret, so it made sense).
"Make sure you get flour and eggs, I used up most of them baking and you'll finish the carton off at breakfast tomorrow."
"I will!"
Hiccup even wrote him a list. Eret wasn't that forgetful, but was occasionally sidetracked and sometimes forgot he even had a list. He returned to find meat slow cooking in the oven, and he felt his heart swell a little more when he saw Hiccup had kept enough things back to make gáhkko, a kind of flatbread made in the frying pan (since they didn't have the equipment for proper stone baking).
"I swear you read my mind."
"How do you mean?"
Hiccup asked as he sliced up vegetables, turning his head to kiss Eret without missing a stroke of the knife.
"I was thinking earlier how we try and keep in touch with our Sami heritage, and how I want the chance to pass it on to Henry, and you made me reindeer biscuits and gáhkko and... I don't know, it just made me realise how lucky I am to have you."
"If I'd known you were feeling so homesick, I'd have gone to get you some reindeer too."
It wasn't a super easily available meat in the UK, sometimes turning up as a novelty over Christmas and they stocked up. A friend at university had commented that it was "basically venison" when Eret bemoaned it once, and he'd spent a while trying to convey the relationship between indigenous people and their ancestors food before giving up and going to find Hiccup, who understood and sympathised. But Hiccup had found a specialty store that carried it about an hour from their current flat, and he'd sometimes pop out to get some.
"Nah, I'm good with the bread and biscuits, but thanks."
Hiccup smiled, dumping the vegetables in the pot with salt and a couple of herbs, then putting them on a low heat until the meat was ready to join it. A hearty stew with gáhkko was definitely one of Eret's favourite meals, and he adored Hiccup all the more for his labour of love in making it.
He pictured Henry standing next to Hiccup, maybe five or six years old and learning all these little things about where their family came from. Astrid had grown up with Sami customs in her life, so Eret was hopeful she'd allow Henry that same privilege in time.
After having to miss last weeks visit because of Henry being ill, both Eret and himself were even more anticipatory about the visit that week. Astrid had confirmed Henry was well enough for them to visit again, but he was still a little tired and cranky so it was probably not going to be an all day visit.
When they arrived, Henry was sat on the sofa, dummy in his mouth and his legs covered by a brightly coloured blanket Hiccup recognised as one their mother had made for him. Said dummy fell from his mouth as he waved and shouted "hi!" over at them, wriggling to get free of the blanket.
"He seems excited to see us."
Eret commented, and Astrid shrugged as she untangled his legs from the cover and moved him to the ground so he could toddle over.
"He's friendly. Just be prepared for mood swings and temper tantrums. Or him falling asleep."
Reaching up for attention, Henry smiled when Eret leant down and lifted him up, both pretty good at holding on to him during all but the most excessive wriggles. Henry wasn't in such a wriggly mood that day it seemed, and after he gave Eret the usual tapping on his tattooed chin, he seemed quite content to just sit there soaking up attention. Eret managed to sit down without upsetting him, and Hiccup sat next to him. Honestly, just being able to look at him was a joy, to get to see the slow changes as Henry made his way through toddlerhood. Already, his soft, dark hair was a little longer than the first time they saw him, and a couple more white spots along his gums indicated new teeth coming up.
He perked up after Astrid took her to her room to give him his lunch, and tottered around a little before requesting Hiccup and Eret come play with him - by tugging the leg of Hiccup's trousers and pointing at his toys, which was still quite sweet. He still made more noises than actual words, but Astrid seemed to understand him and he did have some words. Hiccup wasn't sure what normal development was for someone not yet eighteen months old.
Astrid still looked quite uncomfortable with them there, but she'd stopped flinching constantly and Hiccup thought she looked less uncomfortable than she had a month ago. Still, as she stood in the doorway watching the three of them play, Hiccup kept glancing up and though he couldn't put his finger on it, he was sure something was off with her.
"Just... making some tea."
Astrid commented after a few minutes, and while he supposed he was no longer an expert, Hiccup couldn't have missed the crack in her voice unless he lost his hearing. Eret noticed it too, and after exchanging a glance, Hiccup got up. Henry watched, yawning around the fist he'd stuck in his mouth, other hand gripping a toy giraffe that he'd clearly gnawed on the legs of at some point.
"Sleepy?"
Eret asked as Hiccup headed toward the kitchen door, and he heard Henry answer "nuhhhhh" to Eret's question. To his horror, he found Astrid crying. No matter how tense things may have been between them, he could no more ignore her clearly distressed state than he could stop breathing.
"Astrid? What's wrong?"
She sniffled and turned away, scrubbing at her eyes and mumbling a terribly unconvincing "nothing" that even she clearly didn't expect to assauge him. Arms twitching with the urge to hug her, Hiccup restrained himself so she wouldn't bolt.
"Seriously, what's wrong?"
Astrid let out a great shuddering sigh, wiping at her face again and still not turning back around.
"I just... I'm sorry."
Hiccup frowned.
"Sorry? For what?"
"Never getting in touch. I should have given you the choice of being in Henry's life, but I was scared and once I ran, I couldn't come back."
Her shoulders kept shaking with suppressed sobs, and though her face was mostly hidden, he could see tears drip down her cheek and hear the thickness of her voice. Throwing caution to the wind, Hiccup approached and hugged her gently. Astrid resisted for only a second before turning and seeming to melt into him, and whether she just needed the comfort or not, he didn't care. It was nice to hold her again...
Hiccup shook off those thoughts, because that wasn't what the hug was supposed to be about.
"I won't pretend we're not upset, and that it didn't hurt. But bearing a grudge and fighting about the past all the time isn't good for any of us, especially Henry."
He hadn't forgiven her entirely yet, and neither had Eret, but as Hiccup had said before, being angry about it wasn't going to serve them well, and they were getting to know their son now. They couldn't undo the past.
"I'm glad you're in his life."
Astrid murmured, interrupting Hiccup's thoughts. He smiled to himself, squeezed her gently.
"We are too."
They stayed that way for a minute, quiet and (at least Hiccup was) quite content in it. Hoping that she wouldn't get upset as he sought to comfort her more, Hiccup leant down to kiss the top of her head. It was the wrong (right) moment for such a movement, as Astrid was just turning her head up to face him. It was brief and barely-there, but their lips brushed against each other for just a second.
Astrid leapt away from him as if she'd been burned, wiping her still-damp cheeks and turning toward the side where the kettle sat.
"I'm making tea. Go play with Henry."
Hiccup wanted to say he was sure Henry was falling asleep in Eret's lap at that moment, but got the feeling Astrid dismissing him from the kitchen was not up for debate. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, desperate to say something but nothing came to mind. So he turned and left the kitchen, door closing behind him and he had to fight the urge to bang his head against it in frustration.
Damnit. And just when they seemed to be making progress.
-HTTYD-
Ahhh, who can resist the accidental almost-kiss? Certainly not me!