Shout out to Lyccae for the dedication in fighting with AO3 to post their absolutely delightful review on last chapter.

-HTTYD-

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

Astrid stood at the side for several minutes after banishing Hiccup from the kitchen, trying to get her head back together and failing miserably. Had that really just happened? Her heart was still pounding, face flushed from crying and that had not helped the situation at all. She eventually turned and slid down the cupboard door to sit on the floor, mind still whirling.

Why did she turn at that moment? It definitely wasn't on purpose; she had no way of knowing he'd be leaning down toward her like that. But she'd been turning to look up at him... and gods, that brief second felt... good. Too good. Just a second, but it was long enough to send her mind back, back to being happily trapped between two warm bodies, to long nights where she...

No. Astrid shook her thoughts off as best she could. It was just a mistake, an accident. There was no way Hiccup wanted that to happen, anyway. She was sure of that. Hiccup was happy with Eret, she'd seen that in them every time they came over to see Henry. Besides which, they were still mad at her for keeping them from their son for so long. Groaning into her hands, Astrid rubbed her hands over her face, leant back against the cupboard door and sighed deeply.

Even if it had been good for just a second, it was an accident. An accident that didn't need repeating, that much was sure. And she definitely hadn't done it on purpose. Deciding that that was settled, she tried to get her racing heart under control, wiping her face with a damp tea towel before remembering she was supposed to be making tea. One perk of the boys visits was that she usually managed to drink most of her coffee while it was still hot.

Play it cool, she told herself, managing to pick up all three mugs and heading back through. Henry had obviously decided he wasn't quite ready for a proper nap, and was a little fussy but also seemed reluctant to leave Eret's lap, as she entered in time to ask if Henry wanted to play.

"Nuh."

"You want to sleep?"

"Nuh."

"What do you wanna do?"

"Nuhhhh."

Henry wriggled, but eventually decided he was happy getting cuddled, sucking his thumb and gripping his blanket in his other hand. Astrid put down cups on the table and folded herself into a chair, silence a little awkward but that itself wasn't unusual. It didn't seem Hiccup had mentioned anything to Eret yet, and so that made it much easier to pretend nothing at all had happened.

Actually successful in finishing an entirely hot (but sadly decaf) coffee, Astrid kept most of her attention on Henry, hoping it would stop her mind from wandering back to what had happened in the kitchen. Plus, Henry was adorable and she loved to watch him anyway. He grew fussier after a while, turning and reaching for Astrid. Eret obligingly picked him up to hand over, and Astrid had barely sat back down with him when a certain tired, hungry babe decided her day just hadn't been awkward enough.

"Henry!"

He didn't care, already happily nursing. To him, it was no big deal. To Astrid (and, judging by the stunned expressions on their faces, the twins), it was quite a big deal that his usual habit of tugging at her shirt went one further that day. He managed to get his little hands around both her shirt and bra, and yanked both down to expose her breast before he eagerly latched on. Astrid felt her cheeks burn, but her brothers were little better. After a minute of very awkward silence, Eret cleared his throat with a small cough.

"I uh... I guess he was hungry?"

Astrid nodded numbly, supposing at least now Henry's head was in the way, and she'd never been shy about nursing him before - she even breastfed in public. If her baby boy was hungry, he was getting fed. She just wished he'd waited twenty seconds to let her get him in the other room...

She knew how long he usually took to eat, and so was ready to tug her shirt up as soon as he was done. Henry let out a big yawn, reaching for his pacifier and Astrid glanced over at the clock.

"He's gonna be out for a while now, he's still pretty tired a lot after being sick last week. So uh... maybe you guys should go?"

They didn't seem thrilled about the visit being cut a little short, but they seemed to believe her - she wasn't lying about him being extra sleepy that week, and after a minute silently communicating with each other, they nodded.

"Sure. He needs his rest. We'll see him next week then."

Hiccup said, and Eret added on.

"So long as he feels up to it."

They headed out, and Astrid sat down staring at her slumbering son for several minutes, pleasantly surprised by them both being so agreeable, and clearly worried for Henry's health. Not that she'd thought them unconcerned by that before, but she knew they'd been upset about the cancellation last week, so for them to volunteer that was good, and reassured her.

She held Henry for a little while while he napped, looking down at how beauitful his little face was, pacifier bobbing up and down in small motions with his breathing. Gingerly moving him to the sofa, Astrid covered him with a blanket and tip-toed out to the kitchen, leaving the door ajar to hear if Henry woke up. She snacked on some leftovers from the fridge, closed the door long enough to boil the kettle and opened it again with a fresh cup of tea hand. Astrid sat nearby and drank it slowly, done not long before Henry started stirring. He was still sleepy, but wanted changing.

"There we go baby boy, all clean."

Babbling happily, Henry curled up in her lap for a sleepy snuggle. He was always happy after Hiccup and Eret's visits, seemed to really enjoy spending time with them. That made her feel more guilt, as she was the reason he'd missed out on the chance for so long. Stroking his hair, Astrid smiled when Henry peered up at her with his big beaming grin, reached up to give her a squeeze around the neck. Classic Henry hug, she chuckled to herself.

"Love you baby boy."

He'd really been trying. Really trying. They both had, he was sure. Trying to ensure their focus was just on Henry, on getting to know their son.

Not on anything with Astrid beyond the obvious connection of their son, and trying to be comfortable enough around each other that Henry never noticed any tension, because he got visibly upset whenever there was. So far, so good since the first couple of visits when Eret had struggled to rein his emotions in a bit. Astrid seemed to be understanding of the fact emotions had run high early on, and so long as they were good with Henry, and didn't raise their voices around him, it seemed to coast along alright when they were there.

And then... that happened. Henry had no inkling he'd done anything other than go in search of food, but all three adults were a little... flustered by it. She'd asked them to go not long after, since Henry was obviously heading toward another nap and while they were happy to watch him sleep, it was obvious the tension had spiked and Astrid was right to point out that he had been sick for a few days only recently.

Sat in the car, he noticed Hiccup was a little... off, but Eret was little better himself after that, so they drove home in silence and waited til they were home to talk. Eret made tea while Hiccup got food out of the fridge, used to comfortable silence with one another and so they were sat on the sofa, sandwiches and drinks on the table in front of them before either spoke again.

"I have to-"

"I gotta say-"

They both started at once, then cut off as they heard the other's voice.

"You go."

"No, you."

Eret pushed, as he'd been a little concerned already. Hiccup sucked in a breath, and nodded.

"Right. Ok. I uh... I know things are tense, and we've got a lot of road to cover with her still, but, well... I still have feelings for Astrid. Also, a thing happened."

A little stunned but that was only one of several emotions running through him at the time, Eret blinked.

"A thing?"

"Yeah. When I went after her earlier, she was crying. She apologised about keeping Henry from us, not giving us the choice. I gave her a hug and said we can't change the past. And I went to kiss her hair to try and comfort her, but she kind of turned around and we sort of... kissed. For like a second! And then she kicked me out of the kitchen. But yeah, that happened and obviously I'm not gonna lie to you about it-"

"H, it's ok. Relax. You can breathe."

Hiccup nodded, finally stopping to catch his breath. Eret mulled over his words, wondering how to answer as he sipped his tea.

"I... yeah, I kind of do too. I think I was trying to deny it, cus I am still mad at her. But earlier... yeah, I guess it reminded me I'm still attracted to her? But then, it was always more than that with her, wasn't it?"

"Yeah."

Hiccup said, and the two lapsed into silence while drinking their tea.

"So..." Eret eventually broached conversation again "what do we do?"

Hiccup frowned.

"Nothing. There's nothing we can do. Even if we decide we can get past what she did and we both... you know, want her back like that, that doesn't mean Astrid wants the same thing."

Eret sighed, nodding.

"Yeah, you're right. We can't push her."

"Exactly. If I thought she... but she doesn't. She's given us no indication at all she wants that. Heck, she tossed me out of the kitchen right away after what happened."

Tapping his fingers on the arm of the sofa, Eret hummed.

"Right. But if she... hypothetically, if she showed signs that she might want that, what would we do then?"

"Hypothetically, if she did, then... it has to come from her. It's not for us to make the first move here. It needs to be entirely Astrid's choice. But I also don't think we should hang around hoping for that, because I don't want things to get tense again. She's already on edge, let's not scare her off."

Eret nodded, reaching for his all-but-forgotten sandwich.

"You're right. I know you're right. Just... gods, I wish we'd never lost her to begin with."

"Me too, but we can't go back and change it. We can only keep going forward."

They finished up with eating and cleaning up after themselves, and then the two simply sat together, embraced and decompressing from the day. It had been a pretty emotional one, after all. Eret sat with Hiccup leant against his chest, arms slung loosely around his brothers waist, thinking. Even if Astrid didn't come around, much as he hoped she might, he knew he still had plenty of reasons to be happy. He had Hiccup, and they had the chance to get to know their son. Maybe it wasn't everything that he wanted, but it was still more than enough for him to be happy.

He just hoped Astrid was happy too.

-HTTYD-

Short chapter, but I feel like enough went on without needing to add any excessive padding out? We'll see.