Chapter 13

The universe, Madelyn mused the next week, has a distinct way of sending a message.

Apparently, the powers that be believed it was high time Madelyn faced her past – the pieces of her life she liked to stuff deep down inside her and ignore. First, she had run into Elliot on the street on the way to Erin's. Then, she had seen Ashton at the bar in West Village and had subsequently had the rather excruciating conversation with Bea. Now, she found herself at the one place you never wanted to have your presence requested: One Police Plaza.

Yes, it could have been just a father calling on his daughter, but Frank Reagan never called one of his children to his office unless it was something serious. One didn't just go to 1PP, and Madelyn knew this occasion was no different – her question had been: why?

She had received her answer a few minutes after sitting down in front of her father's mahogany desk that was most likely older than Madelyn herself. It still had the small dent Joe had accidentally made back when their grandfather was Police Commissioner.

"A case came across the desk of a detective I trained years ago," Frank had said, "Obviously the Police Commissioner doesn't typically look at individual cases, but he called and said it was something I should see."

"If you found that thing about Jamie's freshman year…"

Frank had risen an eyebrow. "No, but we can certainly return to that later." After a pause and a look Madelyn had not been able to discern, Frank spoke again.

"Elliot Turner was arrested after he was seen beating a woman in an alley behind a bar. She has two broken ribs and a concussion."

And here Madelyn sat, cursing the universe, wondering if she had killed someone in a past life. I must have committed some sort of crime if I'm constantly made to confront all of this crap.

Madelyn's shock and subsequent pause must have shown on her face, because Frank leaned back in his chair, deeply exhaling.

"Why did you call me here, Dad? This case has nothing to do with me." It doesn't. It doesn't. It doesn't. Take a breath.

Before Frank could answer, there was a knock at the door before all three of Madelyn's siblings barged in.

With narrowed eyes and a racing heart, Madelyn turned to her father. "Is this some kind of intervention for drugs I didn't know I was taking?" I could use Xanax right now, if anyone is asking.

"I didn't invite them here, Madelyn. I'd also like to know – kids, what are you doing here?"

Danny gave a look to Jamie, who shot one back, and then they both looked at Erin. There was a clear nonverbal conversation happening, and Madelyn prayed the daggers she was staring at Erin would be enough to convince her sister to keep her mouth shut.

This is none of their fucking business. Don't let them see your hands shaking. Keep it together, damnit.

Impatient as always, Danny rolled his eyes. "I got wind of the arrest of Elliot Turner and filled these two in; we wanted to talk to you about it. Didn't know you'd be here, kid."

"I bet," Madelyn replied through gritted teeth. "Well, since you're clearly chomping at the bit to talk about me, I'll leave you to it," she said, standing up and heading towards the door.

"Mads, hey wait, don't leave," Jamie said, lightly grabbing her arm. She swiftly pulled away.

With barely concealed anger, Madelyn spun towards her family. "I don't recall any family meetings about Erin's divorce or Jamie's breakup; heck, we didn't do this even when Danny was MIA in the Middle East for a week. But hey, if this is the new rule, you bet your ass I'll be participating next time."

"You getting so riled up says a lot, kid."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, screw you Danny. Mind your own business."

Danny pointed a finger at her. "See? That right there. I haven't seen you this keyed up about something in years."

"That has nothing to do with anything!" Madelyn fired back. Realizing she was playing right into Danny's hand, she paused and took a deep breath.

"I'm going to go," Madelyn said, inching towards the door. "If I ever was put in that type of situation and needed your help, I'd let you know; but I'm not, so let's leave it at that."

Without glancing back at the expressions on her family members' faces, Madelyn stepped out of Frank's office. After giving Baker a small wave, she made her way out of 1PP. Through the hallways and elevators, Madelyn clenched her hands so tightly that her nails left marks on her palms. It was only when she was four blocks and two avenues away did Madelyn finally break.

"Holy shit, oh my god," Madelyn spoke to herself aloud. Her heart felt like it was pounding out of her chest, and her breaths were uneven. The busy streets of Manhattan disappeared around her, and Madelyn felt the world tunneling.

I can't breathe. Fuck fuck fuck. It's my fault. If I had reported him, he wouldn't even be around to hurt that girl. Oh shit. My family probably knows now too, Erin probably broke and told them. Breathe. Breathe. I can't breathe. Why is all of this happening now? I can't catch a fucking break.

There were three people that could calm Madelyn down from the panic attacks that she started suffering from after Joe's death: Danny, Jamie, and Ashton – none of which were options in this situation. Deciding to tough it out alone, Madelyn clenched her jaw and continued to walk towards the subway.

Just make it home. You got it. It's just until you're home.

It took a steady stream of pep talks to make it, but after a 40 minute commute that felt like a lifetime, Madelyn finally entered her apartment.

She dropped her bag on the ground, uncaring about the laptop inside. Without the energy or will to make it to the couch, Madelyn collapsed on the floor, wrapping her arms around her legs and burying her face into her knees. Then the tears came in the form of gut-wrenching sobs – her heart had been cracked wide open.