Something Real
No one said this was going to be the hard part. Everything leading up to where you were now wasn't exactly easy, but…
You rub the back of your neck, cold wind slowly passing through much of your thin clothing.
Okay, so everything leading up to this was hard. Possibly the most anxiety and fear you'd felt in your entire life. More than facing the King of Spades, more than pulling Berdly away from Queen's wires, maybe even more than when Asriel was first accepted to college.
A sinking feeling washes over you as you attempt to shake away from the thought. That was the last memory you wanted coming up right now.
The frozen air continues to whip around you, sending goosebumps across your body. A shiver crawls up your spine as you realize just how little warmth your thin green jacket provided. You unconsciously pull your hands into the limp sleeves, searching for any warmth against the fuzzy cotton lining. You shake your head; you had to make an effort to find warmer clothing. The sweaters you donned were becoming thinner by the day, the material worn down from daily use.
Another gust of air flutters the sleeves of your jacket, carrying drifting snowflakes with each gale. Self-same sensations flash within your mind. You were cold, but maybe not as cold as you were last night. At least, before you found Susie.
Everything happened so quickly. Entering the Dark World, sitting down in the field, everything that was said. You feel your breath shudder, the chill of the air no longer the cause of your tightening chest. You remember eventually parting ways, her eyes looking saddened all the while. You remember the strange feeling of longing and excitement swelling within you. Your mind was a mess, still was. Walking home took much longer than usual, to your mother's disdain when you finally arrived home. Her anger soon subsided though. There was no punishment or anything.
You grip the inside of your sleeves, finding little to defend yourself from the cold sweeping through. You quickly tuck your hands underneath your arms, an exasperated sigh escaping your lips.
Still freezing.
You grumble softly to yourself. Maybe if you…
Awkwardly gripping the inside of the jacket's cuffs, you quickly stuff one inside of the other, loosening them enough to bring each hand into the opposite sleeve. After a moment of fumbling efforts, you manage to create a singular loop, the tube-like formation sealing much of the residual warmth inside. Satisfied with the half-circle, you allow your arms to flop down into your lap. Maybe you looked like a human keychain, but damn it, you were cold.
You breathe a sigh of relief, pulling your legs closer to your chest. You had spent way too long outside last night. Maybe some of the icy chill had carried over from the long trip back. You just wanted to take your time walking home, time to sort through everything you had just experienced. You expected your mother to send you to your room under threats of further punishment. But nothing happened. Was she just happy you were back safe and sound? That you actually went to the dance this year?
Maybe she saw the goofy grin plastered on your face…
You shake your head. Maybe she knew, and knew everything that you'd be going through. Maybe that was the punishment. You flop down on the ground behind you, head resting on the cold earth. Dusty as the ground was, you weren't sure you cared right now. You stare up above, clouds hanging languidly amongst the dense grey skies.
Maybe your mother knew you'd be agonizing over what to say next. Maybe she had a sense that you'd spend the next morning rehearsing every cheesy line you could come up with, waking up early just to fail in styling your hair, or rushing to school before she even had a chance to get her car keys.
Your face scrunches into a sour display. And then what? You choked. You waited by Susie's locker in the morning in an anxiety-ridden panic, only for her to sneak up on you and throw an arm over your shoulder.
You feel a grumble rise from your throat. Maybe she didn't see you jump out of your skin? Or hear the sound you made? You wince, the cold air doing little in preventing heat from rising to your face.
"She definitely heard the yelp..." You mutter softly.
Of course that's how everything went. You managed to confess your feelings to the most intimidating girl in school, capable of leveling you in one swift motion, only to then gasp in fear the very next day. You feel a chuckle erupt from deep within, the sides of your mouth curling into a pained grin. Smooth as always.
You slowly lift yourself up from the frozen dirt below, elbows pressing up in support. You cast your gaze out from before you, the lakeside view bringing a small amount of calm to the raging thoughts. Winter fell upon the town overnight, with much of the region being dusted in snow. The trees surrounding you were holding on as long as they could, leaves slowly dwindling as the change in season made itself known. The lake followed suit, carrying the remnants of fall along its current, orange and yellow leaves lazily floating across the surface. Your eyes follow a single burnt leaf as waves bring it down and away from sight, off into the horizon. Another breath escapes your lips, the wisps of steam swallowed up by the cold around you.
Some part of you was glad everything played out like it did. Classes came and went, with Ms. Alphys' attention split between discussing the quality of overseas animation styles and stopping Snowy from starting a full stand-up performance. Typical Friday homeroom admittedly.
Your eyes glaze over, the featureless lakeside horizon leaving few points of focus. You worked on the group project, cracked jokes by the lockers, even discussed the finer points of whether being tackled by Lancer or Ralsei would hurt more. The mauve dragoness may have been as exhausted as you were throughout the school day, but everything just felt…normal?
You softly bite the bottom of your lip, an underlying unease forming once more. Normal was good, but you didn't know what to make of it. Last night felt like anything but normal. So much had happened, and yet the day felt like any other. You didn't know where you and Susie would be after last night. Friends? A couple? Angel help you, were you dating now?
You feel an intense warmth spread across your face.
You swallow down a knot in your throat. You weren't sure what you were supposed to do. Call her some cutesy pet name? Throw your arm around her in the middle of class?
Another bit of steam escapes your lips, a chuckle rising from your chest. The dragoness was probably too tall for that anyway. And she would likely throw you into a dumpster if you did that in the middle of class.
You loudly groan in frustration, venting to the lifeless winter air around you. You just wanted to show her that everything was…real. That last night happened, that you felt something for her. But no one ever told you about what you should do next! Everything was about the confession and building up the courage. You didn't think you'd get this far. Should you go talk to Ralsei again? Maybe dad? Could you call Asriel? Damn it, this wasn't supposed to be the hard part!
"HEADS UP!"
You feel your head violently whip to the side, a sudden impact slamming into your left ear.
"GAH!"
A choked yelp escapes your lips. The world is silenced for a moment, an icy sensation covering much of your face and most of your left ear. Shaking away from your stupor, you slowly untangle your arms, bringing a hand up to the side of your head. Burning cold sears your fingers as you quickly brush away a thick dusting of powdery snow. Ice continues to drop from your hair and face, sound soon returning to your now unburied ear.
"What the he- "
You barely register the sound of something massive cleaving through the air to your side, another impact slamming into you.
Then…darkness.
In your dull consciousness, you wonder if this is the inevitable karmic retribution you had tempted for so many years. Was this for mixing mayonnaise into Noelle's eggnog that one time? Maybe Catti's threats of cursing you after changing her phone's wallpaper to a picture of a ball of yarn finally caught up with you. Perhaps even Ralsei had some darker magic up his sleeve. Hiding inside the prince's cauldron that one time didn't win you many favors with him. He still checks to make sure you're nearby before making pastries…
Sound slowly echoes back into your ears, a dull thumping sound of your own heartbeat surging through. You force yourself to blink away another freezing sensation, a mass of snow flooding your vision. You feel yourself choking for a moment, attempting to catch your breath within the heap of ice burying your head. Shaking away from the weight, you gasp upon escaping into the dull sunlight above. Freedom!
You cough once more, shaking loose another heap of snow coating your hair. Pushing up from the ground below, you realize you had been toppled over from the impact, a vaguely human shaped hole having formed in the pile of snow to your side. You continue to shake away bits of ice covering your hair and face, grumbling in realization that much of your head was soaked from the rapidly melting flakes. Cold and soaked, perfect.
"Well shit, didn't realize I'd nail you that hard." You hear a rumbling voice from your side, "I mean, the first one you had no chance. But I thought the second would've been a piece of cake to dodge."
You feel a single, muscular arm wrap around your side, another soon picking you up off the snow-covered ground. Shaking away the last of the confusion muddling your thoughts, you make an effort to form an intimidating look on your face. You weren't going to give her the satisfaction, not if you could help it.
"Pfft, you look like a wet dog." The mauve dragoness peers down at you, half of her maw buried in the downy black jacket covering her form. Still sporting her torn jeans and worn boots, you wonder if she even needed the jacket to stay warm. Glancing back up, you catch a glimpse of her fangs glinting in the reflected light, beaming down at you. You feel your soured look falter. Damn that smile.
You blow a wet strand of hair from your face, only for another few strands to sloppily flop back down, "You know, when I asked if you wanted to go hang out at the lake, I didn't really mean, 'Susie, please drop an avalanche on me,'."
The dragoness lets out a barely contained roar of laughter, "Should've dodged the second one." Susie slowly brings you back to the ground, your feet planted firmly below.
You meet her gaze with another carefully devised look of frustration.
"What?" Susie snorts softly, "I said heads up!" The dragoness crosses her arms, leaning down close to your face. The warmth of her breath hits you, steam escaping her maw in thick clouds. You feel your features heat up once more, quickly dropping your gaze down to the side.
You let out an exasperated sigh, the cold distracting you from the prideful dragoness. Whatever warmth your jacket may have provided was long gone now. Looking down to your chest, you notice much of the surface covered in splotches of melted snow, the water causing the fabric to stick uncomfortably. The frustration on your face soon gives way into a sullen expression. You awkwardly pick at the bits of your jacket clinging to your form, trying and failing to find any reprieve from the discomfort. You weren't mad necessarily, but did it have to happen today? Right now?
"Kris? H-Hey, I'm sorry. You good?" You break away from your thoughts, noticing a pained smile spread across Susie's maw.
"H-Huh? Uh, yeah. Sorry, I just…it's fine. Just kinda cold…" The last few words come out in a whisper, careful to obscure any discomfort in your voice.
A vicious shiver runs up your spine, the chill overtaking your senses. You quickly shove your hands in the loose pockets of your jacket, attempting to hide from the oncoming shaking. This wasn't how you wanted this to start. You didn't know how any of this would go, but you certainly didn't want to be a shivering mess. You invited her out here after school to talk. To have a moment alone and not have to worry about anyone else. You wanted to make sure everything was still…good. You wanted to say something, anything that would make this all seem real. You…
You missed her.
The thought brings another knot to your throat. You tried to avoid what raged in your head, but acting like any old pair of friends during school took more effort that you expected. Maybe you didn't have the courage, but every part of you just wanted time alone, another moment like in the Dark World. Just you and her, close together.
A shaken breath escapes your lips, betraying the anxiety in your chest and the shivering cold throughout your body. This probably wasn't the best time to explore these thoughts in hindsight.
"Hey, why don't we go back or something? We should get you out of the cold." Susie states quietly, a pained look continuing to paint her features.
"What? N-No! No, I mean, I'm fine. I'm good, j-just need to dry off a bit!" You force a weak smile, breathing in deeply to calm yourself.
You attempt to force out a laugh, anything to push past the discomfort you must have been communicating to her. You instead feel a choking sensation invade your throat, the inhalation of cold air making you cough without warning. You shake away from the sensation. You attempt to clear your throat, peering back up at the dragoness, her amber eyes burning into you. Her face remains unconvinced, guilt pulling her lips into a tight frown.
"S-Seriously, I'm okay! I just-" Another coughing fit, the sharp cold having settled in your chest from your time buried under the mound of snow. You struggle to collect yourself, any attempts at hiding your current condition having failed. A miserable look streaks across your face as your throat tightens once more.
"Uh huh." Susie rolls her eyes, uncrossing her arms in an exaggerated motion.
You peer back above, unsure as to what to expect following your dejected display. You watch as the dragoness turns her head, peering back down the simple dirt road leading back into town. You notice the scaled girl bite the bottom of her lip, indecision wracking her features, "Ugh, look, just…"
You feel another wave of cold wrack your body as you watch Susie reach for her neck, grabbing the zipper of her jacket and pulling downward. With a loud rumble, her jacket splits open, revealing a dense purple sweater underneath, unadorned by any particular design. Your mind goes blank as she shuffles towards you, her natural height obscuring you from any onlookers as she embraces you. Face now against the soft material of her sweater, you feel a warmth once more flare across your features.
"C-C'mon, sit." Susie impatiently motions for you to turn, gently bringing herself down with you in tow. You stabilize yourself, the movement catching you by surprise. You soon find Susie once again sweeping over you, her arms wrapped around your body as you settle into a comfortable spot on the ground below. You sit, legs crossed, unsure as to how close you were able to wrap into Susie's jacket, and into her.
"Would you just…ugh!" You feel strong arms pull you back further, now against the dragoness' chest.
You sit, frozen, as if any movement would shatter the world. You force yourself to slow your rapid breathes, the steam creating vast clouds ahead of you. This was fine. You already did this, why were you still freaking out? Just breath in, then out, then in…
"S-Sorry, I'm not…" You feel a rumble from behind you, "I'm not good at t-this stuff. Uh, this kind of…you know."
You quietly settle into the warm embrace, the dragoness' wavering voice now taking up your mind's focus.
"This…g-girlfriend stuff?"
…
"K-Kris?"
That's what you were. Together. Very together.
The suffocating sensation in your chest returns tenfold, turning you into a sputtering mess. You choke once more, a strained cough from holding your breath much too long. You force yourself back to reality, blinking away the dizzying sensation sending your head spinning.
"N-No! No, I-I think you're doing…good." You curse your years of social inexperience.
"I knocked you out with a pile of snow." Susie's voice rumbled forth once more, a slight chuckle breaking through her words.
"W-Well, yeah. But I mean, t-this is uh…nice?" You swallow deeply, "S-Sorry, I'm not saying anything good, am I?" You glance up to your side, a blank expression plastered on the dragoness' face. You bring your gaze back down to your lap, "I missed you. I wanted to say something at school or do something. I just didn't know what, or if that's even what you wanted." You shake your head, "I'm just glad that…t-that everything last night was real."
Your gaze shifts back out to the lapping waves ahead, silence falling over the winter scene. Snow continued to drift across the lake's surface, flakes gently forming into an ivory dusting on the earth around you. Your mind quiets, the warmth bringing an end to the vicious bouts of shaking. You feel Susie shift slightly from behind you, her arms continuing to lay neatly around your form. You lean back further, mind slowly recovering from the screaming thoughts present only minutes ago.
"I'm kinda bad at this. But I wanna get better at it, if that's what you want." You let the words fall from your mouth, "I just didn't want to mess anything up, especially at school." You hide a sheepish smile underneath the collar of your jacket, "Had so much planned in my head, then just blanked…"
"What were you gonna do at school?" You feel the dragoness' chest rumble, the weight of her maw softly resting on the top of your head.
"Uh…well, not freak out when you snuck up on me this morning, for one thing." You chuckle. You feel Susie's breath bristle against the top of your head, hair fluttering with the short laughter from the girl. A calm smile pulls at your lips, "I guess I just wanted to do something you'd expect from someone you're…with. I don't know, hold hands? Say something cheesy? Just show that I meant what I said last night."
"Hah, you start calling me some lovey dovey crap and I'll throw you in the dumpster behind school." A sharp snort sounds out from above.
"Y-Yeah, thought as much." You roll your eyes, hopeful the dragoness couldn't see from her position.
"I'm just cool being with you. At school or like this." You feel another shift from the dragoness, a satisfied rumble sounding out from behind you, "I do like this though..."
"Same." You sink further into the jacket, Susie pulling you closer.
The sound of the lake becomes distant, each passing moment bringing your mind further from the world around you.
"You see what Temmie brought for lunch today?" The dragoness' rumbling voice rings out from above you.
"Doesn't she just bring eggs every day?" You cock your head to the side, resting the side of your face against Susie's bicep.
"Well, yeah. But I never see her eat them or anything. Don't know what she even eats…" Susie's maw buries further into your hair, ruffling any previous style you once had with each breath.
"Probably other monsters." You purse your lips in thought.
"Jeez, dark much? Would be kind of sick though." The dragoness quickly shakes her head, ruffling your hair further, "Never mind. No, she brought like, these eggs with drawings on them. Had tons of designs and everything, was weird."
"Oh yeah, that's her schoolwork, not lunch." You mumble out.
"What? How? I mean, what?" Susie's maw drops from your scalp, her eyes now meeting yours in skepticism.
"I don't know. Heard her tell Berdly that once when he was collecting homework. Should've seen his face as he was trying to balance a bunch of essays with eggs on top." The image of the dumfounded bird elicits a chuckle from deep within you.
"The hell?" Susie grumbles to herself, "Ms. Alphys just lets people get away with anything."
"Lets me get away with sleeping all day." You shrug slightly, further sinking into the jacket around you, "Could be worse."
"Yeah, why is that? Don't you sleep at night? Or are humans nocturnal or something?" You feel Susie's maw return to the top of your head, your hair mashing uncomfortably.
"What? No, I'm just…" You press your tongue into the side of your mouth, unsure as to how to answer the question, "I just don't sleep well. Sometimes its weird dreams or it's too quiet."
You hear the scaled girl grunt softly from above, "Guess I just don't have that. When I crash, I'm out. Have to set like two alarms to wake up…"
You force down a snicker, the imagery of the dragoness snoring away with screeching alarms bringing a smile to your face, "That's adorable."
You feel Susie's arms squeeze tighter and tighter, the air leaving your body, "S-Shut-up! At least I don't walk around like a zombie!"
Her arms retreat ever so slightly, giving enough room to breathe, "Y-Yeah, well at least I don't have to be reminded to clean chalk off my shirt every other day!"
"It was one time! One!" The dragoness roars above.
Your laughter breaks through, throwing any further retort aside as you fall into a fit of giggling.
"S-Shut it nerd!" You feel Susie's arms once more squeeze your sides, the unmistakable rumbling in her chest giving away her own amusement, "Whatever, one day I'll get you to try some chalk and you'll see what I mean."
"Sure." You state plainly. As much as she may advocate for the dusty sticks, you still weren't sure if human consumption matched that of a dragon's diet. Especially after watching Susie down an entire pre-made bag of toaster crumbs from her Dark World's fridge.
The image still gave you nightmares.
A growl echoes out from behind you. Tension immediately shoots through your body. Did you push too far? Maybe the laughter you thought you heard was only a prelude to an enraged dragoness, one who was thoroughly wrapped around you.
Another growl, the sound becoming higher pitched as it petered out.
"Susie?" You weakly mutter, hoping her anger would subside if you remained calm.
"Huh? Yeah?" The dragoness peers down at you, her amber eyes meeting yours.
"Uh…" Confusion marks your face, "So that wasn't…sorry, thought you were growling for some reason."
"O-Oh, no. I just didn't really eat anything today. It's my gut talkin'." You feel the scaled girl's arms lift slightly in a half-hearted shrug.
"What? Why didn't you eat? Did you eat something this morning?" Concern fills your mind. How did you not notice during lunch? She normally downs her food so quickly that you rarely had a chance to even see what she had brought, but the aftermath of crumbs was often telling. Was she eating regularly? Was she eating proper food?
"N-No, I just didn't have time. I usually make something the night before and just eat half in the morning and half at school. But we uh…" You hear Susie swallow deeply, her voice becoming a whisper, "We spent so long in the Dark World last night I kinda just crashed when I got home."
You feel a pit in your stomach form. You'd kept her that long? If you had known she needed time the night before to make food…
"Crap, I'm sorry Susie." You mutter dejectedly.
A quick grunt emanates from above you, "It's cool. Sometimes I get to it, sometimes I don't. I just eat a bunch when I get home."
Guilt continues to wrack your mind. Maybe this wasn't the first time she skipped a meal, but this was definitely the first time it was your fault.
"Well, you gotta eat something, we've been out here for like an hour and you didn't say anything!" You stammer out.
You feel Susie's weight rest on your shoulders, sinking further into you, "I know, I know. I just…didn't want to leave."
You feel another knot in your throat approaching. You fight on, this was more important than your heart beating out of your chest.
Did you have anything still in your bag? Maybe a leftover from your lunch; mom always did pack too much. You glance at your backpack tossed to the side, shaking your head slightly. You left way too early; mom didn't even have time to make anything but a sandwich before you dashed out the door. The likes of which you now regret scarfing down between classes.
The cafeteria certainly wasn't open anymore. And you'd rather not visit ICE-E's. That place was cursed in ways you could barely understand.
"Hey." You stare up at the snoozing dragoness, "You wanna go to QC's?"
Susie's eyes shot open, a look of suspicion and hope mixing together, "The diner? Don't really got any cash on me."
"Come on, I owe you. Kinda my fault after all…" A pained look crosses your face as you make an effort to push past the pit in your stomach.
"I mean, it's cool. You don't gotta." Susie looks off to the side, maw continuing to rest in the crook of your neck.
"I know I don't have to. I want to. Please?" You stare up at the languid dragoness.
You crane your neck, spotting the dragoness wrestling with whatever thoughts raged within. Before you can continue your efforts, her eyes snap back to yours, fangs bared in the moment of excitement.
"Well, if you're gonna twist my arm and all…" You feel scaled arms uncurl from around your body, the cold air embracing you once more as Susie pushes herself up off the ground. Your breath catches for a moment in the sudden exposure. Bringing your arms close to your chest, you peer back at the dragoness towering above you, swiftly zipping her jacket back up. You quickly brush aside a pang of regret at the sudden separation as you lift yourself upwards, careful to avoid nearby piles of snow.
Standing at full height, you watch as the dragoness brushes away bits of dirt and pebbles stuck to her clothing. You crane your neck up ever so slightly, catching a glimpse of her amber eyes buried underneath the voluminous mane. You unconsciously tilt your head to the side.
Susie was very…tall.
Your gaze shifts back to the floor, mentally chastising yourself for the silent observation. Obviously she was tall. Susie towered over most of the students in class; a majority of teachers as well. At your side, she stood almost a head above you, eye contact requiring a very specific angle between the two of you. A strained smile tugs at the sides of your mouth. Her towering figure in addition to her rather abrasive demeanor certainly out made for a rocky introduction. But now…
"Hey, you still cold?" Susie's rumbling voice dispels any further train of thought.
"H-Huh? No, I'm good. My jacket's mostly dried off now." You mutter awkwardly.
"Sweet. Well come on, food's not gonna pay for itself!" You feel a sudden thump on your back, the dragoness' palm slamming into you, "It's getting kinda late anyway, hope the place isn't packed."
You shrug, stuffing your hands into the pockets of your jacket. QC's was the only proper food establishment in town, though the diner was hardly busy most days. You begin to shuffle forward, the vague sound of loose snow and pebbles underneath crunching with each step. The dragoness followed close beside, much of her face buried in the loose mass of hair hanging down. The wind continued to howl across the distance, the town beset by frigid air as you made your way back into civilization. Peering above, the sky was beginning to darken, the dense grey clouds further melting with the passing of time. How long were you and Susie out here? Maybe an hour, maybe more?
"Hey, what's up? Got that look again, face scrunches and everything." Susie leans over to your side, her mane obscuring most of her features.
You squint back at the dragoness, "I don't 'scrunch'."
"Uh huh. Were doing it back there too. Got something to say?" A single fang reflects back in the light, the scaled girl's smirk growing with each moment.
"I dunno. Just thinking." You mutter.
"About?" The dragoness tilts her head.
You peer down at the sidewalk, attention focused on each step forward, "I don't know. Just that…" You pause, "Just, how uh…tall you are?"
You mentally freeze, legs continuing to carry you forward but mind recoiling. Of all the thoughts to express, this was not the one you preferred to blurt out. You slowly bring your gaze back up to the dragoness' face, a look of confusion and amusement dawning on her.
"I-I mean, it's not like it's a problem!" You stammer out, "I-I mean, it's just, like, when we're just sitting, you always lean down to talk. So, I just…forget sometimes?" You attempt to collect any semblance of thought under the watchful gaze of the towering dragoness.
"Uh huh." Susie states plainly, clearly enjoying your panicked efforts.
You feel your face flare once more, heat returning to your features within moments, "I don't know! It's just…cool? Like, I like that you're tall. And strong. Not like, in a weird way. Just…"
Angel help you.
Susie continues to observe you quietly as your mind recedes, attempts to preserve any remnants of self-confidence failing.
"I'm uh, I'm gonna stop talking." You swallow deeply, contemplating the speed at which you could escape into the forest and live out the rest of your days.
"You sure? I'm all ears." The dragoness' voice snaps you back to reality, the mocking tone dripping from every word.
"Ugh." You allow a pained groan to escape your lips.
You vaguely register a roar of laughter emanating from your side, Susie's maw being thrown back with uncontrolled glee.
"Let's just…"
Go back home so I can lock myself away from the world?
"Let's just get to QC's." You sigh.
You continue marching towards the diner's entrance, forcing each step forward while avoiding eye contact with the sporadically snorting dragoness beside you. You spot the dimly glowing neon sign within moments, a number of patrons visible from the glass windows. You take note of the various customers avidly enjoying their meals, as well as a rather distinctive gothic cat monster dashing from table to table. You breathe a sigh of relief, welcoming the chance to soon distract your companion with the promise of food.
"QC still make those swirly things?" Susie lightly pokes your arm, her bemused smile slowly receding, to your relief.
"Swirly things?" You cock your head to the side.
"Yeah, like, they've got cinnamon and you can pull them apart like a big spiral. Got icing and stuff?" The dragoness' words spill forth.
"…cinnamon rolls?" You cautiously state, Susie's head quickly bobbing up at down, "Yeah, I think so. It's like a family recipe I think, I'd be surprised if she took it off the menu." You begin moving towards the diner's entrance, wrapping your hand around the door's handle.
"Hell yeah!" You barely have a moment to pull at the door before the dragoness dashes into the establishment. A light ringing echoes from the bell neatly attached to the door's frame, announcing your arrival and escape from the cold.
Dumbfounded, you quickly follow behind before patrons note the cold air whipping through. You take a moment to enjoy the subtle din of the establishment, making sure to shake loose any powder that had clung to your shoes and hair. A wave of smells and sounds hits your senses, welcoming you into the warm atmosphere.
Taking in the familiar space, your eyes dart across the room, noting much of the establishment was unchanged from the days you and your family spent here after church. The worn crimson booths, the dozens of hung photos depicting family and friends from across the town, the stools you and Asriel would spin in until sick, the subtle glow from behind the counter peering into the kitchen, all of it preserved in your memories and in reality. You breathe in deeply, the acrid smell of brewing coffee adding to the comforting sense of nostalgia washing over you. Although you preferred much sweeter beverages, the scent brought you back to images of your family, closely huddled at a table, watching as the leaves drifted by from the nearby forest.
A weak grin tugs at the edges of your mouth. At least the diner hadn't changed much.
"Ugh, you didn't say she'd be working here today…" You shake away from your memories, finding Susie still huddled in the corner of the entrance. Following her gaze, you turn to spot Catti shuffling back towards the kitchen, confidently holding a tray of dirty dishes precariously stacked upon each other.
"What? Catti?" You glance back at Susie, her brow furrowed, "Oh, right. The hat thing with Jockington. I'm sure it's fine. She'll probably just do her own thing; I don't think it'll be a problem." You shrug. You doubted Catti would be particularly upset at seeing the shrinking dragoness. She barely even paid the people she liked much attention.
In a show of faith, you pass by the scaled girl, moving towards the counter before an energetic voice interrupts, "Hey there sweetheart! Welcome, grab a seat if you'd like. We'll be with you in just a bit!"
You flash a soft smile at the cheery diner owner, baffled as to where her boundless energy sprang from after so many years. Naturally gravitating towards the window-lined booths, you spot an empty seating far in the corner away from other patrons. With Susie following close behind, you sink into the booth's fake leather material, a dull stretching sound fading as you settle in. You scoot further to your left, unconsciously seeking the snowy view outside. A soft powder descended from the grey skies, light now barely filtering through as the afternoon quickly dwindled. Did you really spend that long at the lakeside? It only felt like an hour…or two.
"So whatcha gettin'? I'm down to split something sweet."
You glance away from the window's frosted surface, shooting a skeptical look towards her eager stare.
"Uh…okay, maybe we'll just get our own stuff. Wait, what if we just got two of everything? That way we don't half to split it up!" Susie's mouth hangs open ever so slightly, anticipation of the idea taking her mind far away.
You begin to open your mouth, finding your snippy response souring on your tongue. Shooting down the dragoness' crazed ideas was a common task in each discussion, but the pure excitement on her face gave you pause. You unconsciously tap the side of your pocket, holding a wallet that felt emptier by the moment. Dad always offered you an allowance when you dropped by, nearly forcing money into your hands when you'd help around the shop. You silently click your tongue; perhaps you should've taken him up on that offer more often instead of being so charitable.
"W-Why don't we get the menus first and then figure out what to get?" You quickly stammer out; hopeful Susie didn't notice your hesitation. You wanted to pay for everything after all, that's what you were supposed to do on a…
You feel your eyes bulge, your throat feeling dryer by the moment.
"Shit, right. Think Catti is swamped right now though, gonna be waiting ages for anything." You spot the dragoness leaning out of the booth in a feigned search, "Eh, I'll just go see if QC's got some menus. Be right back."
Eyes frozen to the window's serene view, you barely register the table in front of you rattle, Susie leaving in a burst of newfound energy. You steady your breath, watching the forest outside slowly gain more and more powder atop each branch. You were here having dinner with the girl you confessed feelings for. Paying for everything, just the two of you.
You asked her on a date and didn't even realize.
You close your eyes tightly, chastising your lack of awareness. Did she see it that way? Would it matter? She's here with you, and the excitement on her face was telling. You unclench your grip from the booth's edge, only now noticing the deep imprint you had left on the material. Okay, so this wasn't a disaster at least. Maybe not the best first date you could have offered, but you hadn't screwed everything up either.
"Hey. You need drinks?"
You blink back to the scene around you, a perturbed looking feline monster staring down impatiently to your side.
"O-Oh, uh, n-no. I-I mean, yeah! But uh, Susie was getting menus. You seemed uh…busy." You swallow sharply.
Catti scribbles mindlessly upon her notepad, eyes unmoving.
"S-Sorry, I think she'll be back in a- "
"'Kay." Without another thought, Catti drifts away from your table, effortlessly transitioning into taking the orders of a nearby family.
You sense your mouth still agape from the words you had prepared, eyes unconsciously squinted in confusion. You peer back across the diner's busy space, confirming that Catti did indeed depart before you could process a single thought.
Catti didn't hate you, right? You shrug away the thought. If she did, she hated everyone equally. So there's that.
Another ringing sound, the diner's entrance announcing each customer's arrival. Your gaze continues to sweep across the room, noting the eclectic townsfolk the diner had managed to attract. You had seemingly met most that lived in your town, whether through the holiday celebrations each year, or in passing going to and from school. Leaning off the booth, you spot a number of nursing staff from the local hospital enjoying cups of steaming coffee, chatting amongst themselves likely after a long day of work. Two booths behind you, Catti continues to jot down orders from a family of bird-folk, one amongst them being Snowy himself. You never had much of a chance to talk, though the idea of him rattling off puns with his family left a soft smile on your features.
You glance back over to the counter, Susie now standing with her back turned towards you, the edges of menus peeking out from under her arm. You cock your head to the side; why was she still at the counter? Was she waiting to talk with QC? You lean further out, shoulder mashed into the back of the booth. Looking past Susie, you spot a taller individual peeking out over her, both clearly in deep conversation. Curiosity taking hold, you lean out further, thankful no other patron was in the booth behind you.
Confusion strikes as you notice the dragoness not only in deep conversation with someone, but another individual covered in scales. Peering down at Susie was another dragon, taller by only a few inches, hands and maw coated in dull sapphire scales. Barely able to see his features, you instead note their gangly figure, lacking much of the same musculature that you had associated with Susie's appearance. Eyes glued to what was now the second dragon monster you had ever seen; you notice they're sporting a rather official looking outfit. Polished black shoes peek out from the side, with black slacks seemingly tucked into the footwear. Your gaze follows upwards, noticing a thick leather belt securing the grey dress shirt tucked into their pants, putting together a relatively intimidating persona.
You continue squinting at the image before you, confused as to who would manage to grab Susie's attention in such a way. Shoving down your sense of social awareness, you continue staring on, noting the dragon's multitude of accessories. An enormous flash light hung at their side, the belt's loops straining under the weight of various tools. You spot a colorfully labeled spray can on the opposite side as well as a radio fixed securely in a plastic clip. You break away for a moment, thoughts racing through your mind. Who would stop Susie in the middle of a diner? You had never seen them before, though there were plenty of townsfolk you knew who enjoyed their privacy. Why were they wearing something your dad would show up to work in so many years back?
Eyes glued to the table; you nearly jump out of your skin when two menus slap onto the surface.
"Wha-!" You yelp in surprise, regret instantly settling in your chest.
"Dude, you fall asleep again or something? Haven't even gotten drinks yet." Susie's voice pulls you from your embarrassment, an exaggerated annoyance permeating her words.
"No…sorry, I-" You peer up at the dragoness, the blue scaled dragon standing mere inches away from her, staring down in unison, "Uh…"
"So it's…Kris? I'm saying that right?" A rumbling voice catches you off guard, your name stated with impatience.
"I just told you their name dad, it's like, four letters." Susie pauses for a moment, peering at the azure scaled dragon, then back at you, "It's uh…four, right?"
You nod your head slowly, forcing the movement as you break away from your frozen state.
You hear the official-looking dragon chuckle softly, "I know, I know. I'm just messing with you kid." The blue scaled monster clears his throat, the whisper of a smile beginning to fade from his features. Susie shifts to the side, allowing the imposing dragon to approach you in earnest, reaching a hand out to you.
"Name's Vernon. Can just call me Vern, folks seem to have trouble with the full thing sometimes." You stare at the self-identified dragon's hand for a moment, weakly grasping their palm, "Nice to meet you. Heard lots of trash talking at home, good to meet the kid my girl won't stop talking about."
You vaguely register Susie snorting loudly as your hand is shaken roughly, the enthusiasm in the dragon's grip undeniable.
"I barely talk about them. You're asleep half the time anyway watching some crap movie!" The dragoness crosses her arms, her outrage almost believable had you not seen this act before.
"What? Can't help it if your stories bore me to tears. Or sleep." The older dragon man struggles to contain a quickly manifesting grin.
You feel your hand being slowly released from the crushing grip, confusion continuing to flood your mind. Shifting your gaze back over to Susie, you notice her bump into the blue dragon softly, a mocking grin plastered on her features.
Vernon. Or Vern. Or…Susie's dad?
Your mind continues to short circuit, connections failing in every attempt. You knew Susie had a father. That's how that works after all. She even talked about him a few times, how he was always gone until the morning or taking security work for the holiday celebrations. But you hadn't expected to actually meet him in person.
Or when you and Susie were on a date. You weren't sure if you were supposed to laugh or scream.
"You two order something yet?" Vernon turns to Susie, the flashlight on his belt rattling loudly with each movement.
"What? No, just got the menu. Gonna double up on everything!" The mauve dragoness bellows loudly, her excitement once more reaching a peak.
The sapphire dragon grunts softly, adjusting one of the loops on his belt, "Should get the patty melt. That's what I'm picking up for later." Vernon breathes out deeply, "Guess QC is slammed right now. Usually has it ready by the time I get here."
Susie shrugs, "If you'd actually make something before heading out…"
"Yes, I know, thank you." The blue dragon sighs loudly, "Just needed to leave early, gotta beat traffic. Guy at the parking lot downtown called out. The one near the mall."
You continue to exist solely in your mind, barely able to follow the conversation around you. Staying silent would save you, or at least limit how much you could embarrass yourself. You stare down at the menu in front of you, taking solace in the colorful images of food oozing with cheese and coated in fried breading. Maybe if you let yourself fall into a food coma, you won't have to think about what was happening right now.
"Hey, earth to Kris!" You hear the dull stretching sound once more as Susie slides into the booth in front of you, "What're you thinking of getting?"
"U-Uh…the um…cinnamon roll?" You blurt out, struggling to form words.
"Right! Forgot about that. Think they can do double orders? Or is it all like, pre-made?" The mauve dragoness's maw flops into the palm of her hand, one elbow leaning on the table's surface.
You hear a loud grunt from above, the sapphire dragon clearing his throat, "Think you're forgetting something young lady…"
Your eyes dart back over to Susie, her eyes squinting in annoyance at her father. Within a flash, she glances at her hand, examining the razor-sharp claws protruding from each finger. Susie's eyes dull for a moment, an extended grumble escaping her lips as she slowly shuffles back out from behind the table.
"Ugh, I'll be right back. Got some sh-" The dragoness pauses for a moment, "Crap under my nails. Give me a second."
Susie shuffles away quickly from the table, meandering out of your vision towards the restrooms.
You're left staring holes into the menu on the table, suddenly conscious of each breathe escaping your lips. Alarms screeched in your mind, each incoming thought forming into plans of escape from the diner. You risk a glance to your right, Susie's father continuing to face away from you and your panicked demeanor. What did Susie say about you? She wouldn't say anything about the Dark World, that was a secret you shared. Not that anyone would believe her anyway. Did she talk about the group project? Does he know about how you chucked eggs at the police one time? It was for science; you could have discovered fundamental principles about gravity in the process!
Did she say anything about the two of you? About the late nights in the forest, or the discussions by the lake?
Did she talk about how you were…together?
"Dreemurr, right?"
"H-Huh?" You blurt out.
"Ms. Dreemurr's kid, right? Remember Susie's teacher years back adopting a human kid. Small town, word gets around." The dull blue dragon mumbles aloud, almost to himself.
"Uh…yeah." You wince.
Vernon chuckles softly, his frame moving little in the process, "Remember stories of a kid getting caught up in the Holidays' lights, or that time during Halloween where some weirdo was jumping out at people in the forest with devil horns on." The azure dragon sighs, the quiet laughter coming to an end, "That one was pretty funny."
A pained smile forms on your lips. You weren't sure how to respond. All of these were fond memories from long ago, though when spoken aloud, you felt the lingering nostalgia shrink away.
The towering dragon turns back to you, his palm resting on the edge of the table. Angling himself downward, he sits on the edge of the opposite booth, leaning forward with eyes staring out into the diner's space.
"Sorry, you just hear a lot, ya know? Human kid lands in town, people talk way more than they should. Rumors get going about dumb pranks, getting in trouble, usual stuff." Vernon clasps his hands, resting them between his knees, "It's none of my business anyway. I've got my daughter, that's all I need in the world."
Silence falls between the two of you. You shift in your seat, cringing at the ensuing squeaking sound the material makes. Vernon glances over at you, your eyes meeting for a moment. You just now notice the flaking scales across much of his face, a haggard look under his eyes. You unconsciously counted. One…three…seven? Scales haphazardly absent in spots. From years of stress? Age in general? Your anxiety fades, now replaced by a sinking sense you could barely understand.
Vernon flashes a fang-laden smile your way, "I'm just glad she's got a friend. A good friend from what I've heard. Haven't seen that kind of energy in her for years." The dragon's maw shifts back towards the diner's floor, eyes glued to an unknown space, "She deals with a lot. I try to push her in the right direction, but…" The sapphire dragon glances back your way, "Well, you know how she is."
Vernon breathes deeply, raising from the booth's seat and standing at full height, "Just want to make sure she's not getting in trouble. That no one is dragging her into anything dangerous." The towering dragon adjusts his belt, a creaking sound emanating from the plastic equipment, "I trust her. I just don't always trust others."
"Order number six! Got a patty melt here!" A chipper voice breaks the lingering atmosphere, QC's long ears bouncing as she dashes towards the counter's end.
"Guess I'm up then. Gonna be a late night, gotta have something to warm me up." Vernon shambles over to the counter top, grasping the thin plastic bag, steam gently rising from the top. The sapphire dragon turns back to you, a tired smile gracing his lips, "Gotta get going for work, but uh…" He pauses for a moment, "I hope to see you around kid. I mean that. Don't be a stranger." You swallow deeply. There's a struggle, but you manage to nod silently. A soft smile drifts through the dragon's features as he turns away, looking down towards where Susie previously wandered off to.
You weren't sure how to respond, how to feel about everything. Worried? Ashamed? Happy? Your gaze drifts away from the sapphire dragon. Maybe none of that really mattered. You cared about Susie. She meant more to you than you could ever put into words. She was someone you felt safe around, someone you felt actually understood being an outcast because of what you were and how you acted. Maybe the two of you were a walking disaster, multiplied when together.
But you didn't want to be anywhere else.
"Goddamn stupid shitty air dryers don't work for sh-" You glance up, noticing a perturbed, but suddenly rather silent, dragoness approaching.
"Language." Susie's father crosses his arms, plastic bag crinkling.
"Ugh, sorry. Wait, are you heading out?" The dragoness frantically brushes her claws against the front of her pants, darkened stains left with each swipe.
"Sorry plum, gotta get going. Drive's already gonna be killer. You two have fun, make sure to get home before it gets too dark." Vernon swiftly grabs the mauve dragoness up in a single-armed hug, "Don't forget to lock up before bed. I'll try to bring something for breakfast in the morning, drop by one of those new spider-run doughnut shops or something before heading back."
"Yeah yeah, I'll see you in the morning." Susie snorts loudly, "…love ya."
The azure dragon squeezes Susie's shoulder one last time, departing back into the howling wind outside. Cold air rushes into the diner's space for a split moment, soon returning to the dense warmth you'd grown accustomed to. You find yourself staring at the door's window for a moment longer, breathing deeply as Susie settles back into the booth across from you.
"So what'd you guys talk about?" The dragoness quickly snatches up the menu in front of her, scanning the contents like one searching for their next victim.
"Just uh…usual stuff. Group project, how school is, all that. Didn't really know what to say since…" You shrug, biting the bottom of your lip gently.
"R-Right." The dragoness' maw flashes a deeper purple, "I doubt he knows. He doesn't really pay attention to that kind of stuff."
You squint at the mauve dragoness, much of her face now buried in the menu's cover. You weren't entirely sure what to make of anything, but you definitely weren't interested in delving any further on the matter. None of it truly mattered. You were happy where you were, staring out at the falling snow, the smell of coffee drifting in the air, and your girlfriend right across from you.
You feel your throat tighten once more. That word was going to take a minute it seemed.
"Oh hell yeah! They do entire pans of cinnamon rolls! We could order like, four or five of them!" The mauve dragoness roars out, excitement lighting up her eyes.
Fear suddenly tears into your soul.
"We might even have leftovers!"
"Hey, you good?"
You feel empty.
Your stomach grumbles loudly.
Okay, maybe not empty. In fact, extremely full. You'll probably never look at a cinnamon roll the same way again. But your wallet…
"I know, I know. Can't believe they'd only let us order three pans." Susie mutters, a look of disdain painting her features.
"Y-Yeah, what a tragedy…" You quietly stammer, eye twitching ever so slightly.
The wind picks up once more, an icy chill whipping through the dimly lit town. Patches of snow reflected the soft orange lights from each lamppost, bringing a calming glow to the streets around you. You continued to match pace with the mauve dragoness, her carrying the recent feast with much more enthusiasm than you.
Your mom always did warn you of eating only sweets for dinner. Your stomach growls once more. Apparently, such advice wasn't just motherly paranoia.
"Hey uh…" Your thoughts drift away from your roiling stomach, glancing up at the dragoness beside you, "Thanks for that. Seriously. I don't get to go out that often. Just kinda eat stuff from home, whatever's in the fridge. Was nice." A gentle smile rests on the girl's maw.
You breathe out deeply, "Course. Just glad you said yes."
"What do you mean? I know I'm stubborn, but…" Susie shifts her head to the side, her mane following suit.
"Uh…" You feel your throat tighten, realizing the thought that had just been presented, "I…well, I mean, I just realized while we were there that it was kinda like…like a d-date?"
You feel your face warm as you bundle your chin further into the collar of your jacket. You risk a glance above, noting Susie having buried much of her features back underneath her mane. You peer back to the side, eyes focused on the sparkling frost lining the road. Struggling to find a response, you suddenly feel a weight at your side, the dragoness closing the distance awkwardly as she bumps into you. You catch yourself, Susie remaining close to your side, still hidden under a mass of dark brown hair.
"I…didn't want to say anything. Didn't know if that's what it was." You feel Susie shift further over to your side, her maw soon neatly resting atop your head, "…thanks for asking me."
Your face continues to flare into various colors, the silence sitting comfortably in the closeness you two shared. Susie's mane drifted over your side, obscuring much of the street to your right. Glancing up above, you can barely make out the scaled girl's maw resting comfortably atop your head, steam emanating from above.
It was…cute.
"Why you laughing down there, freak?"
You choke for a moment, suddenly realizing a chuckle was rising from your throat.
"S-Sorry, it's nothing." You clear your throat, another wave of laughter surging through.
"What? What's so funny?" Susie angles her maw down, further burying herself in your hair.
"It's just cute. You really like to just…perch." Another wave of laughter, this time unable to be held back.
"The hell? What do you mean 'perch'? I'm not Berdly or some shit!" You feel the dragoness shift from above you, swiftly bringing herself eye to eye in front of you. A deep purple radiates from her features, visible even in the dim light.
"S-Sorry, it's just really sweet. It's nice!" You try, and fail, to hide a smile on your face, much to the dragoness' chagrin.
"Sh-Shut-up! You're the one with the weird thing for tall chicks!" The dragoness stutters through her words, embarrassment underlying each attempt.
Oh, now it was on.
"Says the girl with a thing for short humans…" You mutter out, confidence lasting only till the words escaped your mouth.
You squint, expecting a bellowing roar.
Instead, silence.
You slowly peer back above, the stunned visage of a deep crimson dragoness gawking back at you. You stare back, unsure as to whether her brain would recover. Tempted to wave a hand in front of her face, you notice her eyes following you as you gaze up at her.
Still functioning, to a degree.
"S-Susie? You oka- "
You immediately feel a crushing sensation, as if a monstrous bear trap had closed in around you. Darkness coated your vision as you strained to breath. Once again you were swallowed up by the abyss, choking and confused.
"Shut-up shut-up shut-up shut-up shut-up!"
Almost as if repeating a panicked mantra, you strain to hear Susie's rumbling voice as you're further pressed into her chest.
Seconds before discovering what waits in the afterlife for one such as yourself, the dragoness releases you, still holding you close as can be without denying you oxygen.
"Sorry! Sorry, I just…ugh!" Your head still spinning, you barely register Susie's breath caressing your cheek as she continues to stammer.
You catch your breath in the moment of mercy, breaking into a small coughing fit before settling back down into the warmth of the dragoness' embrace. Your head still spinning, you soon find yourself braver than you had any right to be.
"I-It's cool, I have a thing for dragon girls anyways." You state, half dazed and half smitten.
You feel yourself being brought back into the crushing embrace; any sense of reality being sent spiraling as you struggle to breath once more. You contemplate your life choices as you once again approach the other side, wondering if you had perhaps gone a bit far this time.
Probably, but you were too dizzy and happy to care.
In one final show of strength, you tilt your head up at the dragoness, still burning red in the dim light above. Her eyes meet yours, the amber silhouettes flashing under the streetlamp's glow.
"I'm glad I have you." Susie whispers softly.
"I'm glad I have you too." You mutter, using what little strength was left in your body.
…
"I can't really breath though."
"Right! Right, sorry."
[Author's Note]
And we're back. Again.
Sorry for the possible dip in quality on this chapter. To say I'm rusty would be a…slight understatement. You ever just have the holidays happen, then get your wisdom teeth dealt with, spend the entire time blasting through the SMT series as you're struggling to even eat pudding, finally get the energy to write again, rewrite the same chapter four times, then hope and pray what you've made is halfway decent?
Yeah, me neither.
Regardless! Massive shout out to Patchwork Crow for helping me find a bit of the motivation needed to escape the nonsense in my brain and just assist in how I went about the direction of this chapter. They've been a constant source of positivity and guidance lately, genuinely just being a friend when I needed it. That, and good lord do they know their stuff. Seriously, check out Through Shattered Glass and How to Be a Friend. It's ridiculous how quality the work is. Between the phenomenal use of vocab I'm still striving for, and their general mastery of developing nuanced characters within complicated mental spaces, they're really just putting out insane fics right now. Check them out, give them a follow and favorite, they more than deserve it for the quality of their work and the attitude they bring towards fellow content creators.
So, this fic will continue. Getting this chapter done was a massive undertaking, but it helped to shake the rust off. I'm sure there's a mess of errors I missed and weirdness all around, so let me know if you spot something. Hope ya'll enjoy this awkward, indulgent slice of life chapter. See you in the next one.