Disclaimer: see previous chapters.
Saying goodbye and saying hello, that's just one of the precious, yet painful cycles of LIFE.
Belonging
Chapter 15
A golden eye opened and found that the space next to him was unoccupied. The eye closed again as Sessho-maru rolled over and out of bed, a slight frown marring his face. He slipped into a robe but didn't bother fastening it securely and continued out onto the balcony, scanning the landscape below.
When he didn't find what he was looking for, his scowl deepened and he headed back into the bedroom, this time exiting into the hallways of the fortress. As he strode through the hallways towards his destination, he thought about everything Kurama had told him about his past and what it meant for their future.
Even though he gave himself to me completely, knowing what it meant, he will still leave me. And I know I should let him go. He does not belong to this time or even this world. So why…..why did I do it…..?
Sessho-maru angrily wrapped the loosely flowing robe around his body and tied it tightly, trying to banish the taste of Kurama as his fangs pierced the tender flesh, claiming the kitsune that could never be his. I was arrogant to think I could handle claiming him and then let him go. And why did he let me? Did he do it as some sort of parting gesture? Was he taking pity on me?
As Sessho-maru's thoughts became darker he increased his pace as he descended into the bowels of his fortress until his surroundings matched his mood.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Kurama looked up as a shadow descended upon the book he was reading and looked up to see Sessho-maru standing before him, robe billowing lightly in the breeze and silver hair radiant with the sun. He couldn't hold back a smile of appreciation.
"Good morning. Did you sleep well?"
Sessho-maru brought out his hand and held a small brown felt bag out for Kurama. The kitsune took the bag and looked from it to the inu several times, his smile falling with each new glance at the bag.
He pulled at the strings and opened the bag, dumping its contents into his hand. He gazed at the gem as his emotions ran rampant. Elation, sorrow, fear, triumph….. He looked up at Sessho-maru, unsure of how to feel.
Sessho-maru saw the conflict within the kitsune and he felt a small sense of satisfaction.
"This was the gem you came for, is it not?" Kurama just nodded mutely. "Now that you have the means to go home, what will you do, Kurama?"
Kurama looked down at the gem again, the full realization of the situation settling on him. I can go home. I can see Yuudai again. I can….leave. Kurama closed a fist around the gem and hung his head.
"Thank you."
A gentle breeze caressed Kurama's face and rustled his bangs. When he looked up again, he was alone.
"Sessho-maru."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
It had been over two months since Sessho-maru had given him the fourth and final gem he needed to return home and still Kurama lingered in the fortress, unable to tear himself from the inu's side.
As they lay in Kurama's garden sprawled on the dewy ground and each other, watching the sky turn from a sleepy, dark blackness to a bright blue hue, Kurama decided he would risk revealing what had been on his mind for several weeks.
"Come back with me."
He was surprised when he didn't sense any surprise from the inu under him. Sessho-maru's gentle stroking of Kurama's hair never faltered and his heart neither stopped nor picked up speed. And when he spoke, his voice was the same deep, silky tone.
"That is not possible."
"Why not? Aren't you even curious about a world full of nothing but demons?"
"Curious? Yes. But this is my world, Kurama. This is where I belong, just as you belong in your world."
Sessho-maru's calmness and matter-of-fact answers angered Kurama and the kitsune sat up and glared down at the inu who was just gazing at him with steady golden eyes.
"How can you be so cold! Don't you want to be with me! Won't you even consider trying!"
Sessho-maru reached up and let long, silvery hair fall carelessly through his fingers, staring at it as if mesmerized. He had already considered this option, and many others, ad nauseam, and he came to the same conclusion every time.
"Just as you cannot remain here with me, away from your world and your brother, I cannot go with you."
"But you don't have anyone keeping you here!"
As soon as the words left his lips he regretted them. Sessho-maru's golden eyes shot up to see Kurama's shame written all over his flushed face. But Kurama was shocked when he didn't see anger or pain in the golden eyes. An alabaster clawed hand reached up and caressed a warm, rosy cheek.
"Do not worry, Kurama. You should feel no shame for speaking the truth."
"No, I shouldn't---"
"It is true I don't have anyone here like you have awaiting your return backing the Makai. But I am tied to this world, Kurama. I can feel that my destiny lies here. This world has plans for me."
Kurama couldn't say he understood what Sessho-maru was talking about. Life had taught him to flow with the circumstances. It was true he wanted to go back to the Makai, his home. But he'd never felt "connected" to it.
Sessho-maru could see Kurama trying to grapple with his thoughts and feelings. He didn't want Kurama to go, but he knew that the time would come when the kitsune left him behind for his own world. That is how it must be.
Kurama tried to say something, voice his confusion, his sadness, his love for the inu, but his throat closed up and so he threw himself into Sessho-maru's arms and was immediately welcomed.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Four days after asking Sessho-maru to come home with him, Kurama decided it was time for him to return to the Makai. He knew he was only prolonging the inevitable and causing them both terrible pain. So that morning he awoke in Sessho-maru's arms for the last time.
Neither said anything as they got out of bed and dressed. Neither reached out for an embrace nor attempted to even touch the other as they walked through the fortress hallways and out into the early morning air, not stopping until they were on the other side of the bridge.
They stood there, two tall, silvery-haired demons, golden eyes locked onto each other. One pair trying to maintain its pride and not show the pain and torment within while the other pair let all the love and heartache shine through.
Finally, Kurama closed the small distance between them, determined not to let their goodbye be some regretful, silent parting. He reached up and slowly pulled Sessho-maru's collar away, exposing the pale flesh. His golden eyes drank in the sight of the delicate arc as the neck curved into the shoulder, and the shoulder down into the arm. He ran his fingertips lightly over the flesh and shivered in unison with his lover.
He leaned in, purposefully, committing every detail to memory. The feel of the silken skin, the scent of the heated flesh and the taste. Oh gods, the taste…. As he licked at the neck, he thought he'd never tasted anything so exotic, so….addictive. Suddenly unable to hold back any longer, he buried his fangs to the sound of an anguished moan.
Sessho-maru fought the quaking in his very bones at the pleasure coursing through his body and he clutched at Kurama tightly, not wanting the blissful torture to end. Kurama….oh gods….don't go…..
As if sensing his thoughts, Kurama pulled back slightly, his whole body shaking. As he lapped at the small puncture wounds, Sessho-maru's hands came up on either side of his head and guided his mouth upwards. He caught Kurama's lips in a desperate kiss and Kurama had to fight with everything he had to resist the temptation to melt into the strong body and let himself be carried away. Will I ever find someone who will make me fee like this again?
But thoughts of his brother and clan finally helped Kurama to pull back and remove himself from the embrace, his face downcast, silvery bangs obscuring his eyes.
"I…I have to…."
"Then go now before I put the charm back around your neck."
Kurama looked up at the strangled voice and swallowed his tears. He began to back up, never letting his eyes leave the golden orbs willing him back. He whispered his goodbye but he was certain the keen ears of his lover heard them anyway.
"Aishiteru, Sessho-maru."
Sessho-maru watched as Kurama disappeared into the mists still lingering at the edge of the forest. He heard the whispered declaration and it caused his chest to constrict to the point of cutting off his air. I will never endure this pain again. I will not allow anyone to do this to me again. It wouldn't take long for Sessho-maru to use his strength of will to seal off his heart from the world.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Kurama gave a determined nod to the sorceress and her companion, indicating he was ready for the spell to begin. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on the chanting, anything to rid his mind of thoughts and images of Sessho-maru.
The chanting increased in pitch and Kurama felt his body getting warm. Suddenly he felt himself spiraling out of control and he clamped his eyes shut, not wanting to see the swirling colors, lest he get sick.
Faster than he remembered his first trip being, his journey came to an abrupt end and he landed hard on his stomach. Kurama lay there panting, trying to quell the pain throughout his body. He was scared to open his eyes. Am I truly home? Or am I still in Sessho-maru's time? Or am I someplace else entirely?
Kurama lay there, gathering his senses and then stretching them outward, trying to get a feel for where he was, when a voice interrupted.
"Hey there. Looks like you're in need of a friend."
Kurama slowly looked up to see a dark figure smiling at him. As he blinked his eyes into focus, the figure became clearer, revealing a chimera youkai with long black hair and sparkling lavender eyes. He was wearing a vest and a tattered looking hat that gave him a roughish appearance.
"The name's Kurounue. What's yours?"
To be continued…..