Hi guys!

Well, since today is my birthday I thought I might give you all a present and upload the next chapter early! I hope this update finds you all well, wherever you are.

Things get a little tense in this chapter... I wanted to show the internal struggle that Jessie is going through regarding what has happened to her, and how it affects how she treats those around her. She's been through a lot, she's been thinking a lot as well and she's been struggling a long time hench her behs at the end of the chapter. I hope I've managed to do her struggle justice and not ruin her relationship with Lisa too much (no spoilers)

Anyway, enjoy and have a good day!

Chapter 6.0

Jessie patted the bed beside her as the social worker and the two police officers left, inviting the girl to come sit beside her. Cindy smiled widely as she clambered on up, being careful not to get caught up in the IV line. She chuckled as the girl nuzzled into her and she put her arm around her. 'How's my favourite girl this morning?'

'Okay. I had a good sleep.' She looked up at her. 'I got a good feed too.'

'You probably are better than me then if I know Lou. Hospital food isn't that great.'

Neither is dog food. I still can't believe Bobby ate that from its bowl.'

Jessie saw the look on Lisa's face. Yep, unfortunately it was true. 'Well, let's hope that they won't be there for much longer. Hopefully, they get taken from them soon.'

'Yeah, I hope so too.' She sighed, then looked over at the flowers on the bedside table. 'Do you really like the flowers? I didn't know what ones to get you, there were so many! Lou said it would help cheer you up.'

'Of course I like them and both you and them have cheered me up, buttercup.'

'Good. I'm happy then.'

Lisa smiled as she saw the two girls lying there together without a care in the world. Jessie looked so grown up, her arm around the younger girl as they spoke. The young girl obviously looked up to her like a big sister figure and she could see how much they cared for each other. It was cute, if she didn't think of what circumstances had brought them together. What Jessie had said made her sick to her stomach that someone could treat children like that and something told her that what she had said wasn't all. She turned to Jack standing beside her, her voice a meer whisper. 'Jack, aren't they adorable?'

He chuckled. 'Very. They obviously have a strong bond with each other. Cindy's taken a shining to Jess and she has to her.'

'Poor kids, I'd hate to imagine what they've been through. Hearing about it is bad enough. How could anyone be so cruel?'

'I don't know Lis, but I'm sure they're going to have the full force of the law on them for treating them like that.'

'What scares me is that I had a feeling that something wasn't right and I just pushed it aside. I should have said something, done-'

'Lisa, there's nothing either of us could have done to change it, short of taking care of her ourselves and we both know that it's not possible.'

'Jessie could have died Jack. You saw the way she was last night.' She replied bluntly. 'If she didn't get to us when she did she wouldn't have made it. She would have bled to death. I just wish I'd gone to see her sooner, made sure that she was okay.'

'I know Lisa, but you can't keep wishing you'd done this or that when you can't go back and rewrite the past. There's nothing you could change.'

Lisa sighed. 'I know. I just wish that-'

'Lisa.' He caught her eyes and held her gaze. 'If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.'

'I know, I know.' She sighed again then she chuckled as a thought came to her. 'Why do you have to be the sensible one for?'

Jack laughed, shaking his head. 'I don't know, you've got me there.'

'What's so funny, you two?' Jessie asked as she and Cindy looked at them.

'Lisa says I'm the sensible one of us two.' He replied as he and Lisa left their own conversation and went over to the girls. 'It was nice of you to get Jessie flowers Cindy.'

'Yeah.' Cindy smiled. 'Lou brought them, I just picked them. There were so many to choose from.'

'So, you like Lou then?'

'She's nice. She said she's going to take me for a milkshake before we head home.'

Lisa chuckled. 'And where is Lou?'

'Out in the car, she said she had some phone calls to make.' Cindy hopped down off the bed and sat down in the chair left by the social worker. 'So, what's wrong with you? How long will it be till you can get out of here?'

Jessie sighed. 'At the very least, they want me here for a week.'

'A week?' She squeaked. 'Why?'

'Apparently I've got cracked ribs, my lung is injured and I had internal bleeding that they had to fix, not to mention that gash in my side and to top it off, concussion.'

'You were most definitely not fine then.' Cindy chastised. 'You should have told me that you were really hurt and not tried to hide it.'

'I'm sorry Cindy, but there really wasn't much you could have done. You know what would have happened if they caught us.' She sighed, picking the threads in her blanket again. 'It's behind us now, let's leave it there, shall we?'

The girl nodded. 'Alright.'

Jessie could see that there was more on her mind than just the state of her health. 'Cheer up hon, I'm alright. We both are.'

'He could have killed you, Jessie-'

'But he didn't.' She interrupted, placing a finger to the girls lips. 'I don't want you thinking about it, alright? You already have more than enough to deal with without blaming yourself for him beating me. It wasn't your fault. I promised you that I would protect you and I meant it.'

'Look where that got you.' Cindy sniffed. 'In hospital.'

'Oh Cindy. Come here.' She placed her arm around her as she moved closer. 'Cindy, when I make a promise, I see it through, no matter what. I protect those I love and I love you, you little rascal. I don't want you blaming yourself. It was my choice. I don't like seeing you sad, I want you to be happy. Try not to blame yourself, for my sake.'

'Okay.' She shrugged her shoulders. 'if that's what you want I'll try.'

'Good girl.'

Lisa looked at her watch, and then at Cindy. 'I think it's almost time to go. Jessie needs her rest. We can bring you in again later to see her.'

'Alright.' Cindy nodded as she stood up, giving the older girl a hug. 'I'll give Warrior a carrot and hug for you.'

'Thank you Cindy.' Jessie smiled as she hugged her back. 'You behave yourself for them now, you hear?'

'Yes, yes. I will.'

'Make sure you do.' She called after her as they left the room, then called Lisa back. 'Lisa, can you wait a moment?'

'Sure.' Lisa glanced at Jack and Cindy, waving them on. 'You two go, I'll catch you up.' She turned back to the girl, taking the chair beside her. 'Yes Jess?'

'Did I handle that right?' She asked with a hint of uncertainty in her voice. 'I mean, I don't really have much experience with others my own age and especially not as a sibling figure.'

'I think you handled it quite well to be honest.' She replied. 'Its funny, you telling her exactly what I told you not so very long ago.'

'Yeah.'

Lisa looked at the girl as she became silent. Something was troubling her, she could feel it and she guessed that it was from that foster home. 'Jessie, are you alright?'

'I guess.' She shrugged, then burst out. 'I don't know, I mean I think I am but what happened-' She bit her lip as her eyes began to water. 'Those kids should never have been treated the way they were. The animals were treated better, and only because they were actually worth something. We were just their slaves. They never knew what Howard was going to do next, any little thing would earn them a beating. And when he'd been drinking-' Her voice trailed off. 'It was like walking on ice, just waiting for it to crack.'

'Ssssh. It's okay Jess, you're away from him now. You're alright.'

Jessie nodded as she blew her nose on the tissue Lisa handed her. 'I just needed to get it out. I wasn't going to break around Cindy. She thinks me a hero or something.'

Lisa smiled understandingly. 'You've been trying to stay strong for her when really you're breaking inside. You need to let go, you have to let it out.'

'Only when she's not around. I don't want her to think I'm a weak coward.'

'But you're not honey, you're not a coward.' She gently reprimanded. 'Your the strongest girl I know. What you've been through, I can't imagine, but yet you keep on. You keep pressing on, regardless of what it is that is trying to push you back down. When you fall, you get back up. You keep going, you keep trying. You don't give up. That's not cowardice, that's bravery. That's strength. That's courage. Of all the things you are, you are most certainly not a coward. You never were one and I know you will never be one.'

Jessie sniffed as she nodded, her eyes reflecting her torn emotions and the struggle she was going through inside.' But I'm ready to give up. I've had enough. I can't keep on going. Every time I close my eyes, every time I hear nothing but the sound of silence, every time I hear a yell or shout I remember. I remember those beatings from my father, my mother's murder, finding Robert dead, running for my life, my father-' She spat the word out the second time like it was poison. 'Trying to kill me, him trying to kill you, his dead eyes boring holes in me, the nightmares and then that foster home. I just can't forget them, they won't lose their grip on me. I feel like I'm breaking. I feel like the world is crushing me, tearing me apart one horrible memory at a time. I just want it to end. I just want it all to end. Maybe it would have been better if I had died. Maybe I should have died.'

'And who would gain anything by you dying? Only yourself.' Lisa replied bluntly. She had to shake the girl out of that mindset as soon as she could. It wasn't healthy for her to be in that mindset, once a person believed they were better dead most often then not they followed through with their thoughts. ''Certainly not Cindy. That girl worships the ground you walk on. And what about us? We care about you very much.'

'Obviously not enough to make sure that I didn't go to a foster home.' With the look on Lisa's face she instantly regretted what she had said. 'I'm sorry Lis, I-'

'Jessie, I know you are going through a lot and that foster home certainly was not the best thing for you, but you have to understand that we just can't commit to looking after you. It wouldn't be fair to you.'

'I'd much rather be left by myself than get beaten Lisa.' But why would they want you anyway? The thought screamed through her mind. You're just a worthless piece of crap. Lisa and Jack might say that they care about you, but no, they don't. They only pretend to. They only pretend that they care about you. Face it Jessica, you are not worthy to be loved. No one will ever really love or care about you. It's only about what's in it for them. If Jack and Lisa really cared about you, they would find a way to make it work. They don't want you anymore then your father did. The only person who you can rely on is yourself. You can't trust people. You only leave yourself open to be hurt. 'I think I need to get some rest now.'

She nodded sadly. That certainly had gone downhill at a rate of knots. 'I'll come see you later?'

'Don't bother. You probably have way better things to do then get harnessed with an invalid like myself. Just go!'

Lisa couldn't hide her hurt and surprised emotions as she quickly exited the girls room. Maybe Jessie was right. Maybe they could have done something. She could certainly see why she would react like that if she was in her shoes. She'd been let down too many times, she was broken and hurting. Who knew the thoughts racing through her mind?

Jessica sat in stunned silence as the room was still and quiet after Lisa's hasty exit. Why had she said that? Why had she lashed out at her? She'd just told her that she didn't want to see her. What had taken her over? What had happened? She put her hands to her head as she tried to stop her pounding thoughts. Why oh why had she said that? She had just pushed away the only person she knew really cared for her. Her father's laughter rippled through her mind, his words echoing to the very core of her soul. She was breaking. She was being torn apart by her emotions and her memories. Her tears began to flow and this time, she didn't quench them. She cried for everything she had lost. Her mom, Robert, Lillian and now, the only people left in the world who cared if she lived or died.

Jack looked at Lisa as they drove back to Heartland in silence. She hadn't said a word since leaving the hospital, she'd just stared out at the scenery as it flashed by the window. Something was wrong. Something had happened. Looking over at her, he placed his hand on her shoulder. 'Lisa? Are you okay?'

Lisa nodded, refusing to look at him as tears ran down her cheeks so he didn't see her crying. Why had the girl said that? What made her lash out at her like that? She knew that he was waiting for an answer, so she swallowed hard and forced herself to sound normal. 'I'm,... Fine. Just, a bit tired. It was a long night.'

Jack could tell in the waiver of her voice that she wasn't fine and he slowed the truck to a stop on the edge of the road and turned the ignition off. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he turned her towards himself. He looked at her as she looked down, ashamed. She'd been crying. 'Lisa? What's wrong?'

'Jessie.' She managed to get out. 'She said that if we really cared about her, we would have stopped her from going to the foster home. She said that we would find a way to make it work. She basically told me that she didn't want to see me again.'

'Oh Lisa.' He put his arm around her. He could see that it'd hurt her, what Jessie had said. 'Jessie didn't mean it Lisa.'

'But she did. She did mean it Jack.'

'She's going through a lot right now, she's not herself. She's upset, angry, hurt, she's not thinking straight. She needed to lash out at someone and unfortunately it was you. With what she's just gone through, I'm not surprised that she reacted and said that. She's hurting Lisa, she's hurting bad.'

'But she's not half wrong Jack. We should have done something, checked up on them somehow, anything.'

'Lisa, short of us looking after her ourselves, there's nothing else that we could have done. It wasn't in our hands, it's not our decision. She's a ward of the state, what we think is best doesn't matter. They'll do as they see fit.'

'I know, but-' Her voice trailed off as she wiped her eyes with her handkerchief. 'What should I do?'

'Give her time Lis, just give her time.'