Hi guys,

Hope everyone is well, my family and I are going ok. Not much else to say really except that I'm thankful for your reviews and I'm glad you guys are continuing to enjoy my story. I'm hoping to upload every two to three days but I'm also trying to keep enough writing so I can continue to upload and as of late I haven't been able to get any chapters done.

To Toni Pierce, haha, give them time, give them time. They'll kiss *eventually* lol. Thank you Siriam for your review too, your well wishes mean a lot to me.

Anyway, enjoy! (Get ready for another emotional, tense chapter. You have been warned.)

Chapter 7.0

Jessie stared at the clock as the minutes ticked slowly by. She couldn't rest, she couldn't sleep. Her words she had said to Lisa echoed in her mind. Those cruel words. She should never have said those words to her. She had meant it at the time, but now she could see that she shouldn't have. It wasn't Lisa's fault that she couldn't take care of her. She shouldn't have lashed out at her like that. It wasn't fair to her. She'd lashed out at her horribly, and all she done was to push away the person who really cared for her. She wished that she could take it back, take it all back but she couldn't. The damage had been done. She knew Lisa wouldn't come back, not with the way she had told her to go and basically not come back.

She knew why she had said it, but still it didn't make it right. She had wished to live with Jack and Lisa way before she had gone to that foster home and all the foster home had done was drive that desire deeper into her soul. Jack didn't drink, he didn't yell or scream at her, he didn't hit her. They fed her good, they kept her safe. Lisa spent time with her when she could, she could talk to her, open up to her about how she felt. Lisa didn't swear at her, didn't tell her she was worthless, didn't get mad at her. All she wanted was a place where she felt that she belonged, where she had worth and was wanted. She felt that at Heartland, yet she knew that with all the longing in the world, she'd never be able to stay.

She felt that they didn't want to take care of her since she was just a worthless half-bred, a daughter of a drug addict and a murderer but the nagging conscious in the back of her mind told her that it wasn't true. They would have taken her in if they could have. They did care about her, otherwise they would have said that she had to go when she'd been staying there before she had gone to the foster home. She knew deep down in her heart that they would have looked after her if circumstances were different. It was their caring that had driven her to return to Heartland when she and Cindy had escaped. Something told her she'd be safe there, that they would look after her. Now, she probably had forever messed it up by her angry and hurt words. She growled low in her throat at herself as she clenched her fist. Why did she do that?

Lunch came and went. The doctor and nurses on duty came to check her over, but other than that she was left alone. Left alone with her thoughts and regretting more and more what she had done. Her father's words and voice echoed in her mind, pushing her further and further into anger and hate and hurt. It was like she was trapped in a hole she couldn't get out of. Like she was swimming in an ocean of regrets, pain, tears and hurt. She couldn't escape. His words played over and over in her mind, giving way to what had happened at the foster home. The swearing, the drinking, the beating, the screaming...

Flash Back Start

Jessie's eyes flamed with anger as she heard Howard yelling at James, swearing and cussing at the boy as he pulled him by the ear towards the barn. She had only been there for three days already, but she was fast learning what these people were really like. James cried out in pain again as Howard shoved him into the building and she saw red. He didn't deserve to be treated like that. None of the children did. Already she was learning that the kids in his care were beaten regularly, but she vowed that was going to change if she had anything to do with it. It made her angry the way they were treated. They had done nothing that could justify the beatings he dished out upon them.

Throwing down her pitchfork, she hurried over to the barn, running as fast as she could. Maybe she could stop him before he really laid it into the boy, he didn't deserve to get hit. Opening the door, she growled in her throat as she saw him cowering on the floor, cornered and trapped as Howard laid his boot into him. 'Leave him alone!'

He turned to her, giving the boy another kick. 'And who do you think you are to stop me? Get back to work before I lay it into you. The boy has to be taught a lesson.'

'And what lesson exactly are you trying to teach him by kicking and swearing at him?' She took another step forward, showing him that she wasn't afraid of him. 'What did he do to warrant getting treated like this?'

'He questioned my authority. He had the audacity to back chat me.'

'And what, kicking him black and blue is going to change that? I think you've given him enough, leave him alone.'

'Leave it Jessica, or you'll be next.' He seared, turning from the boy and shaking his fist in her face. 'You do not want to cross me.'

Jessie stared him in the eyes, her courage unfaltering. She didn't flinch. She wouldn't back down. 'I am not scared of you. You leave him alone. That goes for all of us. Go find someone else your own size to beat up.'

'I'm warning you Jessica Hawkins, don't cross me.'

'And I'm warning you.' Her eyes flashed with anger. 'You leave the children alone.' She held her gaze steady until he finally sneered then pushed her with his shoulder as he walked past. She growled in her throat as she watched him leave, then turned back to James and knelt down beside him. 'He's gone now. Are you okay?'

James nodded timidly. 'Thank you for making him stop. We're all too scared of him to stand up to him.'

'Well, luckily for you, I'm not.' She smiled as she gave him her hand and helped him to his feet. 'Come on, let's get back to work.'

Flash Back End

She growled in her throat as she remembered that man. She might have said that she wasn't afraid of him, that he didn't scare her but he did. The first time she had been beaten by him, he'd left her bruised and bleeding on the floor of the barn. It was Fiona who had helped carry her to the shed and get her cleaned up while the other children slept. Fiona had tried to talk her out of fighting against him and his wife but she wouldn't listen. She wouldn't be broken like they had the horses she had to take care of. He wasn't going to break her spirit, and yet without even being here he was still abusing her with his poisonous words and actions. They played over and over in her mind, taunting, bullying, scaring her as she heard his voice echoed through her thoughts. She clenched her fists shut again, trying to force his voice to go away. It just wouldn't leave her alone.

She forced herself to control her anger, trying to stop it from getting out of hand. Focusing on her breathing, she forced herself to take deep breaths as she tried to calm herself. He made her angry, he made her furious with just the memories of what he had done to her and the other children. It played over in her mind like a cinematic vision, reliving every little moment of being at that house. That man, his boys. They could all go to Hell for all she cared.

Flash Back 2 Start

Jessie looked up as the rake she had been using to pick up the manure in the round yard was snatched from her hands. She looked at the shadow on the ground in front of her. She knew who it was. 'Richard, leave me alone. I'm working.'

'I'm sure that you could take a little break for my sake.' He purred as he looked her up and down. 'You really are something to look at. My dad's right. You certainly are a fighter, I like that in a girl. That shinner looks good on you.'

She forced herself to remain calm, her eye still smarting from Howard hitting her the night before. How dare he talk to her like that! How dare he say that to her! 'I have work to do, so if you'll excuse me.' She went to walk around him, but he stepped in her way, preventing her from getting to the barn. 'Can you please remove yourself from out of my way?'

'You know, if you were just a bit more friendly towards me and my brothers, you might find your life to get a little easier.' He grinned as they joined him in the corral. He grabbed her hand, not letting her go. 'But if you don't, we can make it a living Hell.'

'And just what do you mean by 'friendly' towards you?' She asked cautiously. She was sure she guessed what type of friendly they were thinking about, but she wanted it on record on the phone in her pocket. 'What would you want in return?'

'Well, you've got a good looking figure and your mature for your delicate age.' He eyed her rather pronounced bosom as he spoke, eyeing her up and down. 'We don't take kindly to rejection when we ask a pretty girl to be friendly with us and there's no one around so you can choose the hard way, or the easy way. There's three of us and only one of you.'

'Hmmm.' She eyed a nice chunk of 4 by 2 wood lying on the ground just behind him. She knew what was on their mind and they were right. There was no one around. Warrior was in the field, everyone else was somewhere with their work. A cold shiver ran up her spine as she realized that she was alone. She had to think quick. She needed something to protect herself with. If only she could get that piece of wood. She stepped closer to him, running her hand on his chest seductively. If she could distract him for a moment, she'd be able to get to the wood and hit him with it. If she took them on with her bare hands, they'd be on top of her before she could get away. 'Its a reasonable proposition.'

'I knew that you would see reason.' He leaned down to kiss her. 'You couldn't resist a real man.'

That was the token she needed. With lightning quick reflexes, she leapt forward, knocking him to the ground as she grabbed the stick of wood in her hands. As the other two closed in on her, and Richard tried to stand up she brought it down on his head as hard as she could. 'Go to Hell you pig!' She screamed as he collapsed to the ground. She looked at the other two as their brother lay unmoving on the ground with blood pouring from his head. 'You three keep the Hell away from me. If any of you so as much lay another finger on me, I WILL kill you! Let this be a warning to you. Stay away from me!'

'When our father-'

'So you want him to fight your battles do you? Coward!' She roared at him, holding the wood like a sword, ready to strike them if they went for her. 'You tell him that a girl got the better of three of you and he'll think he raised a bunch of pansies. You wouldn't want him to be ashamed of you, would you?' She taunted, edging closer to the fence so that she could make a run for it. 'You'd do better saying his head injury was caused by him falling off a horse then a little delicate twelve year old girl. It would be so embarrassing for him if he knew that his boys were cowards, afraid of a foster kid. Take this as a warning.' She nodded at the person on the ground. 'Leave me alone.'

Quickly she slipped through the fence, still holding the wood then bolted for the stables. Her heart racing, she forced herself to walk as she saw the other kids tending to the horses. She nodded at Rachel as she walked past, heading for the gelding she was to look after. Slipping inside his stall, she lent against him with her back turned to the others as she struggled to keep it together. Her hands shook as she forced herself to calm down. She was alright, she was okay. They hadn't done anything to her.

Flash Back 2 End

Jessie looked down at her hands as she tried to get what had happened to her out of her mind. Her hands were shaking, her heart pounding as she relived the boys advances. She knew that she had been lucky to get away. She knew what they had planned on doing to her. Fiona had warned her about them the first day she had been there. They had tried to do the same thing to Cynthia just before she ran away. She was lucky, if she hadn't gotten away when she did- Her hands shook harder as she thought of it. She didn't want to speak of it, didn't want to think of it but it wouldn't leave her mind. She could still feel Richard's eyes on her, could see the look on his face in her mind like it had happened yesterday. She knew that when the police heard that recording on the phone, they were going to be asking questions and just the thought of it made her sick to her stomach.

She hadn't told anyone about it, except for that brief mention to the social worker. She had hidden it from the girls, hadn't wanted Cindy to know what had almost taken place but yet she was all the more protective of her. She knew that she couldn't trust those boys, they would try anything but it was just lucky that they left her alone after that. She knew they were afraid of her but still she had to watch her back and protect Cindy from them. They might have only been twenty, eighteen and fifteen, but three against one weren't the best of odds. She knew that they would be in deep trouble though when the police were done with them but there wasn't much comfort in that fact. The damage of their attempt had already been done. She was terrified of them.

Her hands shook harder as she tried to contain her emotions but finally she gave in and broke down. Tears flowed down her cheeks as she relieved every beating at that dreadful place. She wished for Lisa as she cried but she knew that she had only herself to blame as the reason for why she wasn't there. Lisa would have held her tight, telling her that it was all going to be alright. She would feel safe in her arms, safe and protected. She didn't need to hold her emotions in check with Lisa. Lisa understood her. She could talk to her about things she wouldn't tell Jack. Lisa would just be there and listen to her then tell her that it was going to be okay. But it wasn't. Because of her anger, her pain and hurt, she'd pushed her away and she knew that Lisa might never come back...