Hi guys!

My apologies for not uploading this chapter yesterday! Time just seemed to get away from me (I spent the whole day sleeping, I haven't been very well for the last couple of days. No, I am NOT coming down with Corona, I'm just feeling pretty lousy and fatigued... I had something picked up in a blood-test awhile back but now I can't get into a doctor because of the craziness so I've just got to wait it out till I can get an appointment. Lets just say almost fainting the other day really gave me a nudge to start trying to figure out what is going on with me. I have a family history of MS and Celiac disease so I'm cutting wheat and gluten out of my diet and I'm hoping that I'll start feeling better soon.)

Anyway, I am here now with another chapter! Thank you so much to everyone who is continuing to read and review this story, you guys keep me writing when I really don't feel like it (which has been quite a lot lately. I just haven't felt like doing ANYTHING! I feel awful) and I'm so glad you guys are enjoying my writing. I do try really hard to write something that you all enjoy.

A HUGE shoutout to TnWalk7Rach for being my 400th reviewer! Yay! Your continued support means a lot to me and I'm glad you've been enjoying this story so much! Your the best!

Jisa will be back in chapter 10 I promise you all, I just really wanted to focus on Jessie, Cindy and Lisa for the last couple of chapters but don't worry, there will be a nice long Jisa scene for you all to enjoy!

I wanted to focus on Lisa's reaction and emotions regarding the situation Jessie was in since Lisa was the one closest to the girl during her previous stay at Heartland. There's also some other reason why she's so emotionally invested in Jessie that will come to light in the next chapter... Till then I'll leave you all in suspense and I hope you enjoy the hints of Lisa's past I continue to drop here and there. These hints are building up to a story-line further down the track (Way further) but lets just say that Lisa can relate to parts of Jessie's past better then people realize. This is one good thing about being a writer, I get to tease you all with little hints while I know exactly how and where these hints lead to. (Mean, yeah I know but it'll be worth it. Trust me)

Alright, without any further ado, here is chapter 9! Enjoy ya'll!

Chapter 9.0

Jessie stared blankly at the wall as the clock slowly ticked the seconds by. The room was dark, the curtains closed as she was meant to be asleep but sleep just wouldn't come. She couldn't sleep, the images in her tormented mind not letting her rest. She couldn't shake them, couldn't make them go away. She just wanted them to leave her alone, but they just wouldn't. The dark was only making it worse as her heart began to pound and she forced herself to breath through her thoughts and feelings. She closed her eyes, trying to stop the memories…

Flash Back 3 Start

'That will teach you!' Howard yelled as he kicked her bruised and bleeding body down the stairs, standing over her as she lay limp and lifeless on the cellar floor. 'You don't backchat me, you worthless piece of trash. What did you think you were doing, telling me to leave Bobby alone? You all have been left in my care and I'm allowed to discipline you all as I see fit. We'll see what a couple days in here does to you, hey?'

Jessie kept her eyes closed, forcing herself to look unconscious so that the man would leave her alone. She could feel the blood dripping down her skin, could feel the bruises on her chest and face and her whole body ached with pain but still she forced herself to lie still. Hopefully he would leave her alone if he thought she was knocked out.

She felt his boot in her stomach as he kicked her again, then heard him walk away from her and up the stairs. She opened her eyes as she heard the cellar door close, then everything went dark as she heard the lock snap shut. She was trapped, trapped in the darkness and cold. It was cold, so cold and the darkness was creeping closer and closer.

She had to get out. She had to. Forcing her hands underneath herself, she dragged her bleeding body to the foot of the stairs then started her agonizing climb to the top. She pushed against the door with all her might, but it wouldn't budge. She couldn't make it move. She was really trapped. Trapped in the darkness with the mice and the rats and the spiders.

Lying on the stairs underneath the door, she started to cry. She couldn't hold it in any longer. Her whole body was covered in wounds from the beating he had given her and she was taken back to another time in another place when she had been beaten by another man. She could swear she heard her father's laugh echo in the cellar as she cried. He had been right. She would never be loved and wanted. Why had she though that these people would be like Jack and Lisa? Why had she though they had actually wanted her? Why had she trusted Jack and Lisa? Why had she trusted Clint when he was the one who had put her here? Why didn't she just have run away when she had been at Heartland? She would have been better off on her own then here in this monster's care.

The tears flowed down her cheeks as her father's words pounded in her head. She knew the reason why she was here. He was punishing her by giving her this fate. Even in death he could still torment her, his words still etched like words carved in stone in her mind. She could still feel the sting of his hand on her, could hear the lash of the horse whip. Now, instead of him it was another person that beat her. She couldn't escape. She couldn't escape him. She hadn't been able to escape him, and now she was stuck with another person she couldn't escape from. Even if she did get away, the one thing she knew she couldn't escape from was the memories.

She turned around in the darkness, trying to find a way to lie down that would ease her pain then yelped as she fell down the stairs to the floor below. She didn't try and stop her fall, she just accepted it, then lay there on the cold concrete, motionless. There was no point fighting anymore. She couldn't escape from this place. She could hear the rats and the mice scurrying around, then felt them biting at her, tugging at her torn, blood stained clothes. She didn't resist, didn't move. She just accepted it.

She didn't know how long she lay there, the rats and mice scurrying over her body. She could hear Cindy calling to her, but she didn't have the strength to answer. She could hear the trickle of water coming through the cracks but she made no effort to rise and drink it as it pooled on the concrete. Her whole body felt stiff, she couldn't move even if she tried.

When the door was opened, she didn't even look up to see who it was coming down the stairs. She felt gentle hands touching her, could hear someone talking to her softly as they picked her up. It wasn't Howard, she knew that but she couldn't figure out who it was just by voice alone. Opening her eyes, she saw that it was Cindy and Fiona carrying her up the stairs. Cindy had tears running down her face and instantly she knew why she hadn't died down there. She did have something, someone to live for. Fiona carried her out of the cellar, out of the darkness into the light…

Flash Back 3 End

If only someone could carry her out of the darkness she felt that she was trapped in now. Trapped in the cruel memories she couldn't escape. The darkness was closing in on her, pressing against her. She couldn't escape the darkness. She wanted to scream, to do something but no sound would come from her throat. She couldn't breath, her heart was racing out of control. Her stomach lurched as chills ran up her spine, she couldn't escape the darkness. Tears began to flow as she felt like the darkness was choking her. Her whole body shivered as she struggled to breath.

'Jessie, Fiona and Cindy are here to see you.' Lisa said gently as she opened the door, then her eyes widened in horror as she looked at the state Jessie was in. 'Fiona, go find a nurse.' She forced herself to say as calmly as she could. 'Cindy, go with her.'

Carefully, she walked over to Jessie, sitting down beside her as the girls hurried back up the hallway to the nurses station. 'Jessie, Jessie, it's alright hon, it's okay.'

'No! Don't- Don't touch me!' Jessie screamed, flinching away from Lisa's desperate touch. Her eyes were wild, her breathing fast and shallow, her whole body trembling in fear. 'Please, don't touch me!'

'I'm not going to hurt you.' She said, gently taking her by the hand and holding it firmly. Their eyes met and she could see the terror and fear in Jessie's eyes. It was almost as if it wasn't Jessie in there, the Jessie she knew being replaced with a terrified, broken soul. 'Listen to me.' She gently continued, the girl flinching from her voice and touch as she cried. 'Listen to me Jessie. You're safe and they aren't going to hurt you again. I'm here now. Trust me, I won't let anybody hurt you.'

Lisa almost expected Jessie to yank her hand away in her panic but she didn't. Instead, she relaxed a little, more tears forming in her eyes and she let out a little breath. 'Lisa, I- I'm so sorry.'

'It's okay honey, its okay.' She smiled at her kindly, placing her arm around her and pulling her into a hug that she didn't resist. 'It's okay, I'm here.'

Jessie slowly started to calm down, feeling Lisa's arm around her. 'I'm sorry Lisa, I'm sorry for what I said to you. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it.'

'Ssssssh, honey. I know you didn't.' She kissed the girls forehead, smoothing back her hair. 'It's alright, it's alright.' Hearing the door opening behind her again, she glanced out the corner of her eye to see a nurse walking in. 'She's having a panic attack.'

The nurse nodded as she looked at the girl. 'I'll go grab her a sedative.'

Lisa turned back to Jessie, her heart going out to the girl. She knew what panic attacks were like, she knew the girl was feeling awful. Cindy was right, Jessie really wasn't herself. 'Sssh, I've got you Jessie. It's going to be alright, it's going to be alright. Your safe. Breathe Jessie, breathe through it.'

Jessie nodded, burying her face in Lisa's shoulder. It felt so good having her hold her, just to have her presence. 'I thought you wouldn't come back. I thought I'd never see you again. I didn't mean to get mad at you. I didn't mean to say what I did.'

'I know you didn't honey. I know you didn't.'

'Can you forgive me?'

'Of course I do sweetheart. It's not your fault honey.' She kissed the girls head again as she held her tightly against her. 'It's not your fault.'

The nurse returned, holding a small bottle and syringe. 'This is going to help you calm down Jessie.'

'No, please, no.' She whimpered, nuzzling closer into Lisa. 'Please, don't let her hurt me.'

'She's not going to hurt you honey, I'm right here.' Lisa gently assured her. 'Its okay, it's going to make you feel better.' She looked at the nurse, nodding for her to give the girl the sedative. She held the girl tight as she whimpered, rubbing her head with her chin. 'Ssssh, its okay.'

'There you go.' The nurse said gently after she had taken the needle out of the girls arm and placed a band-aid where she had put it in. 'That wasn't so bad. It will make you feel better.'

Jessie just clung to Lisa, her breathing becoming steadier as the sedative started to take effect. 'I don't like needles.' She whimpered. 'I don't like them.'

'I don't think anyone does honey.' The nurse said gently as she checked the girls vital signs and wrote them down on the chart at the foot of the bed. She looked at Lisa. 'Do you know what triggered her panic attack?'

Lisa shook her head. 'She was like this when I came in.' She looked down at the girl. 'What happened honey?'

'The dark.' She replied, her face still burrowed in the woman's shoulder. 'It's too dark.'

She knew instantly what the girl was talking about. She had a panic attack from memories of being locked in the cellar. 'It's alright honey, the nurse is going to open the curtains.' She glanced at the nurse and she nodded as she went over to the window and light filtered into the room. 'There you go.'

Jessie nodded again, glancing towards the window where the light was coming from. 'It was so dark, so dark and cold.'

'I know honey, but your not there anymore. You're safe. He can't and won't hurt you again.' She reassured her, the nurse leaving the room as she saw that she had the situation under control. 'I know it must have been scary, but you're alright. Your safe. You don't have to be scared. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Your safe here.'

'You promise?'

'I promise. He can't hurt you again.' She kissed her head one last time then gently pushed her away and laid her head down on the pillow again. Jessie looked up at her, her brown eyes showing her crushed and tormented soul. 'Your going to be okay.'

She bowed her head, looking down at her hands. If only that was true Lisa. I'm never going to be alright. If they only knew what I went through, they would want nothing to do with a soul as damaged and broken as mine. My father is right. I'm just a piece of half-bred trash that will never belong, never be loved and never be wanted. She didn't say it out-loud though, just thought it as she stared at the IV line in the back of her hand. 'Why are you here Lisa?'

Lisa was a little stunned at her question, but didn't react. 'I brought Cindy and Fiona to see you. They're waiting outside. Do you want to see them or should I tell them your not up to visitors?'

She continued looking at her hands as she contemplated Lisa's question. She could keep it together, she would keep it together. She wouldn't show them how broken she really was. 'I'm fine. Tell them to come in.'

'Are you sure? You don't have to see them if you don't think you can handle it.'

'Of course I can handle it!' She snapped, then instantly regretted in. 'I'm sorry Lisa. I do want to see them.'

'Alright, but it won't be for long. You do need to rest.'

Jessica sighed, reluctantly agreeing as Lisa got up and let the two girls into the room. 'Cindy, Fiona.'

'Jessie.' Cindy climbed up on the bed, giving her a hug. 'Warrior told me to give you a hug from him.'

Jessie chuckled as she hugged her back, careful not to get her IV line caught on the girl. 'Did he now? Well, make sure you give him an extra carrot with his oats tonight.'

Fiona sat down in the chair beside the girls bed as Lisa walked around and took the chair on the other side. 'How are you feeling?'

'Alright, I guess.' She cocked her head as she looked at her, like she was trying to remember. 'So, how-'

'The police and the social worker came and got us. We're safe, all of us. They've got Howard and Ruth in custody, as well as the three boys.'

'They're going to go to jail.' Cindy added, rather cheerfully. 'Thanks to us.'

'Where are the others?' She asked. 'What's going to happen now?'

'Lisa?' Fiona looked at her. 'What did Rebecca say?'

'She said that for the moment, they'll be staying in Calgary until they can find other homes for you to go to.' Lisa replied, noting the look on the girls face. 'They'll be alright Jessie, they'll be okay.'

'I hope so.' She looked at Cindy. 'But will Cindy have to go there too?'

'No.' Cindy protested suddenly, realizing what they were talking about. 'No, I'm not leaving Jessie!'

'Cindy, its okay.' Lisa quickly interrupted. 'Rebecca was asking Jack if you could stay at Heartland till your grandmother can look after you again. It's only for a couple of weeks, then you can go back to her.'

'So, I can still see Jessie?'

'Either Jack or I can bring you in to see her for as long as she's here in the hospital.'

'Good.' She snuggled up against her. 'Fiona told me about what happened when the police showed up. Howard-'

'Cindy.' Fiona said gently, cutting her off. 'I don't think Jessie wants to hear about that right now. How about you save it for later?'

Cindy shrugged, not realizing that Jessie couldn't handle hearing about them at that moment. 'Fine.'

'I want to thank you though Jessie.' She said in that calm, quiet tone she had. 'You did save us. You helped us get away. We never would have been able to get away if you did risk yourself for us.'

Jessie looked down. 'I don't want praise Fiona, I'm just glad your all okay.'

Fiona nodded. 'We are, and we will be. Rebecca is taking us to Calgary tomorrow, so I don't know if we'll meet again but I just wanted to thank you for what you did before I go. I'm sure the other kids are thankful too, even though they couldn't be here in person to tell you. I know you don't want praise Jessie, but you saved us. All of us.'

'You tell them I said-' She tried to think of what to say. 'Tell them to never give up hope. Hope is the only thing you can cling to when everything seems lost. Even when it seems like there's nothing, there's always hope. Hope for the future.'

'I will.' Fiona promised. 'You have to keep up hope too Jessie, there is a place for you somewhere. I don't know where it is, but you will find someone who will love and look after you. Just as I care for my sister, someone will care for you. Don't lose hope.'

Lisa couldn't help but feel her eyes tearing up hearing the two girls speak. They had been through so much, yet both of them were trying to help the other keep going. It spoke of their resilience, their courage and strength. All they wanted she knew was someone to love them, someone to care for them. It was the cry of every foster child. The yearning to be loved and wanted. 'Fiona, you and the other kids could write to Jessie and Cindy. You could send them to Heartland and I'll make sure that they get passed on to her.'

'I think they'd appreciate that Lisa, thank you.' Fiona acknowledged, glancing at the clock. She turned back to Jessie. 'We should probably be going now, you need to rest.'

'Do we have to?' Cindy asked.

'Yes, I think it's time to go Cindy.' Lisa replied as she stood up. 'I'll bring Cindy by again tomorrow Jessie.'

'Thanks Lisa.' She nodded as the girl hugged her. 'Thanks for bringing them in, and for.' She paused, trying to think of what to say. 'Before-'

'Its okay, I'm just glad I could help.' She smiled kindly at her as she held her hand then let it go. 'Everything will be alright, you'll see.'