Hi guys,

Well, I wasn't planning on uploading so soon after I uploaded the previous chapter but oh well... I'll give you all something to read over the weekend! You can thank me later lol.

I hope you all are still enjoying the story and thank you to everyone who is continuing to review and comment on my work. Ya'll be pleased to know that I'm currently writing chapter 25 of the third story (No, I'm not letting you know what the title of that is just yet) and I'm happy with the continued progress I'm making moving throughout the events of season 2... Yes, I've finally written the cattle drive! *happy dance* and I'm sure you'll enjoy reading that once I start uploading that part of the saga.

Anyway, enjoy and I hope you all have a wonderful day!

Chapter 12.0

Jessie smiled as she did the buttons on her shirt up, glancing out the window at the sun outside. A little over a week had passed since she'd been in the hospital and the doctor had finally said that she was well enough to leave. She almost couldn't contain her excitement, so happy at the thought of finally leaving. Fixing up her sleeve cuff, she was careful not to get her clothing caught on the IV needle that was still in the top of her hand. They were going to take it out before she left, and she was glad that it was going. She really hated it, hated anything to do with a hospital actually.

She glanced in the mirror, her bruises on her face still showing. She touched the one under her eye gently, winching as she took her fingers off it. They were taking a long time to go away and they still hurt. She sighed, taking her eyes off her reflection. It hurt too much to look at it. She just wanted to hide, to run and hide. Her face looked terrible, thanks to Howard. Howard. She snorted, turning from the hospital dresser. She'd heard that he and his wife had been charged with child abuse and neglect, and himself with assult and battery of the children in his care. In addition to those charges, they were both under criminal investigation regarding a child going missing in their care. She had heard about it from a newspaper and guessed it was Cynthia. Fiona had told her about her suspicions as to what had befallen her, the police were just trying to find the evidence. If they did, they were looking at life imprisonment. They both were awaiting their trials.

As for his three boys, the oldest one was being held in custody too as charges of assault, battery and sexual harassment were being laid on him. The two others, she hadn't heard about them but could guess they were probably facing Juvenile Court for their part in beating up her and the other foster kids. She didn't feel any sympathy for them, they knew what they were doing and they deserved what they got. She only hoped that she wasn't going to be called to testify against them.

Jessie looked over at the clock as she headed back over to her bed, sitting down on it to wait for Lisa's arrival. She was supposed to be picking her up and she hoped she hurried up. She was eager to get out of there and back to Heartland. Back to peace and quiet without beeping hospital machines.

'Are you ready to go?'

She glanced over at the doctor as she walked into the room and chuckled. 'Of course I am. I can't wait to get out of here, and you probably can't wait for it either.'

Barbra laughed, checking the girl's vitals over one last time. 'You haven't been the easiest patient I've ever had to look after, but I will forgive you. Just please, try not to end up here again in the state you were in.'

'Yeah.' She raised her eyebrows as she rolled her eyes. 'That wasn't really my fault.'

'I know, what I'm saying is you take care of yourself.' She gently pulled the IV needle out of the girl's vein and stuck it in the sharps container. 'Right, you're ready to go as soon as Mrs. Stillman arrives. Now, just because I'm letting you go doesn't mean you can go run a marathon tomorrow. You need to rest, your injuries are still healing and you need to be careful with those stitches.'

'So when can I ride again?'

'Not till those stitches come out, and that won't be for a few more days at least. Even then you should wait a bit longer, your ribs are still healing up.'

Jessie sighed. 'Really?'

'Really. You need to take care of yourself, and when you do start riding no pushing yourself. I don't want you ending up back here, you hear?' She playfully teased her as she wrote on her file. 'I'm going to tell Mrs. Stillman exactly what I told you so she knows you are not supposed to be riding either.'

'Are you ready to go?' Lisa asked, poking her head around the door with a smile. Jessie glanced over, her eyes shining with eagerness to be on her way. 'Your chaperone is here.'

'Boy, am I ever.' She laughed as the woman walked in and came over to her. 'I'm more than ready to leave this place.'

'I was just telling this young lady that she needs to take care of herself.' Barbra placed her notes she'd written back in the girls file. 'So no horseback riding until her stitches have come out and that will be a few more days at least. I'd say no riding full stop for at least another week but I don't think she's going to listen.'

'Probably not.' Lisa agreed. 'I think I can manage to make sure she doesn't go riding till she's healed enough too. When do you want me to bring her back to get them out?'

'Thursday afternoon at the surgery?'

'Sure. Do I need to make her an appointment?'

'No, you can just drop in. I'm free most of the afternoon and it won't take long.' She turned back to the girl. 'No cartwheels on the way out.'

'I'll try and contain myself.' She grinned widely as she hopped off the bed, grabbing the new suitcase Lisa had given her with her other clothes and her model horse Cindy had given her in it. 'Can we go now?'

'Yes Jessie, come on. Thank you Doctor.'

'No, thank you. I don't have to make sure the windows are locked now that you're taking her off my hands. Bye Jessie.'

'Bye Doc.' Jessie led the way out of the room into the hospital, then waited for Lisa's guidance as to where she was going. Lisa smiled, taking her by the hand as she led her down the hallway. 'A person could get lost in here.'

Lisa chuckled. 'Yes, they could indeed. Let's get you home, I know a particular stallion is going to be very happy to see you.'

'So, whatcha thinking of?' Lisa glanced at her as she drove on the freeway back to Heartland. 'You've been awfully quiet the entire time.'

Jessie turned from staring out the window at the scenery flashing by and sighed. 'How lucky I am. I would have died if it weren't for Cindy and Warrior. They saved my life.'

'You were lucky, I'll say that.' She agreed, glancing at her again from the corner of her eye. 'But that's not all, is it?'

'No. I guess I just don't believe that it's really over. I'm scared they're going to call me to testify and I'm terrified of facing them. What if they don't go to jail? They're going to come after me. I was the one that busted their whole secret by escaping. They're not going to easily forget me. What if they come after me and you and Jack get thrown in the middle again like last time?'

'You've been thinking about your father again?'

She nodded. 'I can't help but feel responsible for what happened, and what if they come after me? I don't want you and Jack getting hurt. I'm not worth it. I'm not worth fighting for.'

'Jessie, what is this really about? What's got you thinking like this?'

'I had a dream last night, it's stupid I know but I just can't stop thinking about it.' She sniffled. 'Howard got out of jail and came for revenge on me. He got you and Jack and killed you. There was nothing I could do to stop him. I don't want you dying over me. I'm not worth it.'

'Honey, that's not going to happen. Howard is going to be locked up for a very long time, I don't think you need to worry about him coming after you. If they find him guilty of murdering that child, he's going to be locked away for good.'

'But what if he isn't?'

'He will be.'

'I hope you're right.' She looked down at her hands. 'I don't want people dying over me. Wherever I go, people get hurt. My mom, Robert. My father almost killed you. I seem to have a knack for getting people into danger. Maybe he should have killed me when he killed my mom. I'd never have been the reason that Robert was killed. Maybe it's better if I had died.'

'Jessie, you can't think like that.' Lisa gently reprimanded. 'Don't lose who you are in your fear. I know you are frightened and scared, but thinking you are better off dead isn't going to help you. You can't live your life in fear.'

'I know Lisa, I know. I'm just scared I'm going to lose people I love and I don't want myself to be the reason. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to Cindy, Jack, you. You guys are all I have left. I have no one else.' She turned back to the window, biting her lip. 'Is that kind of fear bad?'

Lisa didn't answer her question directly, she didn't know what she was going to answer to that. She thought about it for a moment before replying. 'I don't think it's bad Jess, as long as you don't let it rule your life. I get scared, worried sometimes that I'll lose someone I love, but I work through it. I don't let it dictate to me how I'm going to live.'

'Did you lose someone?'

She nodded. 'My mom died of cancer when I was young, my dad was left to raise my sister and I after she passed. He died only a few years ago, after I moved back here to take care of him and take on Fairfield.' She paused for a moment then continued. 'And there was a girl a bit younger than you who I was close to. She died from cancer as well. I know what you're saying Jess, because I have been there. I've been through losing people I love but I don't live in fear of what might happen. I just live every day as it comes and cherish the time I have with them.'

Jessie nodded as the car pulled into the drive of Heartland. 'Thank you Lisa, I needed to hear that.'

'Hey, any time Honey. You can talk to me, you know.'

'I know.'

'Jessie's here!' Cindy shouted as she watched the car pull up from the window. Not waiting for Jack, or stopping to get her coat she ran out of the house to the car as the girl stepped out. 'Jessie!'

'Cindy, not so tight!' Jessie laughed, trying to get the girl to release her hold on her a little. She tousled the girls hair as Cindy let go, chuckling. 'Hey.'

'Hey.' She laughed, giving her another hug as Lisa joined them. 'Hi Lisa.'

'Hi Cindy.' Lisa replied, glancing at Jessie. 'I think someone is happy to see you.'

'Yeah, I think that too.' She looked down at her as Cindy wrapped her arm around her waist. 'Where's Warrior?'

'In his stall. Come on, he's going to be over the moon to see you.'

Lisa smiled as she watched Jessie and Cindy head over to the barn, turning to Jack as he walked over to her. 'Hi.'

'Hey.' He slipped his arm around her waist, giving her a kiss on her cheek as she lent against him. 'Thanks for picking Jessie up from the hospital, Lou had to borrow my truck.'

'Your welcome.' She replied, his arm still around her waist as they walked towards the barn. 'How has Cindy been the last couple of days?'

'She seems okay, I think she's doing alright. She's been a little quiet, but I think she's managing. Her grandmother is going to be released from rehab next week, so she'll be coming back to pick her up with Clint next Wednesday.' He glanced over at Jessie as they stopped a little ways away from the barn. 'How's Jess? I'd have been to see her more but I wasn't sure how she'd react if you weren't around. '

Lisa sighed. 'Not doing so well. She's worried about Howard, what he might do if he were able to come after her. She's worried about us too, she said she had a dream he came for revenge and killed us. I think she's really having it hard, she feels it's her fault that Robert was murdered and she said she's not worth fighting for. She said she thinks it would have been better if she had died. I think she's scared she's going to lose us, because she feels everywhere she goes, she gets people into danger. She doesn't want to lose anyone else, she hasn't got anyone else. I sort of understand how she feels.'

'She really doesn't have any self-worth, does she? I mean, she doesn't value herself.' He looked up at the two girls as they laughed in the barn, brushing Warrior down. 'She must feel awful, believing that all her life.'

'All her life she's been told she's worthless, she believes it. I don't know much else about her time with Robert and Lillian, she definitely loved them but I don't think they really returned it.' Cindy's laughter rang out at the stallion who tried to eat her hair and she chuckled before returning to the subject of their conversation. 'I don't think she has ever really been shown love. Now, she's going to be moved from pillar to post in the foster care system. Of course she's not going to think anything of herself, she's ashamed of what she is. She's ashamed of those scars, her history, what has happened to her. She doesn't know how to value herself when she has always believed that she is nothing.'

Jack looked down at Lisa, holding her close as she leaned against him. 'Lisa, I know you aren't telling me everything. What you're saying, it sounds like you went through what she is now.'

'I won't lie to you Jack, after my mother died I struggled with who I was and I have always struggled with it.' She paused, holding onto the feeling of Jack's arm around her. 'I know what Jessie is going through, to some degree.

'I wouldn't have thought, you always seem so confident and sure in yourself.'

'I've learnt to hide it Jack, I had to.' She wanted to say more, to tell him what she had really gone through but something was holding her back. She just couldn't get the words out. 'Jessie needs love, she needs a safe house that she can call home. She needs to have people who will care for her and take her into their family. She needs a place where she belongs.' She saw the look he gave her and quickly continued. 'I know, we've already been over this before. I travel too much to give her the care and attention she needs. I just wish there was some way that she didn't have to go to a foster home though.'

'I know Lisa.' He sighed, kissing her head gently. 'When Clint rang me to talk about Cindy, he spoke about Jessie. He's found a place for her, but they can't take her for a few weeks. If that doesn't work out, he said she would have to go to a group home. By law, she's not really allowed to be staying here.'

'I don't think she'd cope in a group home.' A shudder ran up her spine. She'd heard from an old friend who grew up in a group home went through, and it didn't sound like it would be at all good for her. 'I wish there was something I could do.'

'Your already doing everything you can, there isn't much more you could do.'

'I could adopt her.' She looked up at him as she expected him to be shocked but he wasn't. He just looked at her sympathetically, understanding showing in his expression. 'I really want to Jack, with all my heart. If only I could, I'd do it in a heartbeat. I love that girl, it breaks my heart to see what she's been through and going to go through being pushed pillar to post in the foster homes. If only there was a way, somehow a way that I could look after her.'

'I know Lis, I know.' He kissed her head gently again. 'Lisa, this isn't just about Jessie, is it? What's really going on?'

'Jack, where's Warrior's bridle?' Jessie called out, unknowingly abruptly ending their conversation. 'I can't find it and Cindy can't either.'

'I think we put it aside for cleaning, it looked like it could do with some looking after.' He replied, letting go of Lisa and heading to the barn as she followed. 'Let's go see if we can find it.'

Lisa walked quietly up to Warrior, rubbing his forehead as he sniffed her pockets gently for sugar. She chuckled a little as his lips nibbled at her coat, then sighed as she patted him and looked towards where the two girls and Jack had disappeared. 'Got any suggestions on what I should do boy?' Warrior snorted as he shook his head then started sniffing again. 'No, I didn't think so. Sorry buddy, I haven't got any sugar for you today.' She turned quiet and thoughtful as her fingers ran through his forelock. She looked at Jessie through the open door to the feed room, the girl smiling as she started playing with her long brown hair while she waited for Jack to find Warrior's bridle. She reminded her of the girl she used to know, standing there like that as the thin sunlight through the window shone on her tresses. If only there were some way she could take care of her, look after her so she didn't have to go to a foster home. She sighed as she patted Warrior's neck again. She knew that realistically there was no way she could look after the girl permanently full-time. If only she could though, she knew she could give the girl so much. The kind of life that Jessie really deserved.

'Found it.' Cindy exclaimed, pulling the bridle out from behind a feed box. 'It must have fallen down behind it when someone left it there.'

'I'll go grab his saddle.' Jessie added as she started to the rack where the saddles were held, but Jack got there first.

'You let me handle saddling him, I don't want you hurting yourself lifting it.' He picked the saddle up, carrying it over to where Warrior was tied and placed it on the stall door. Warrior snorted as he looked at him and Lisa quickly took hold of his halter. He patted the stallion's neck as he placed the saddle pad on his back. 'Steady boy, easy.'

'He's getting better around you Jack.' Jessie commented as she walked over and stood beside Lisa, taking over keeping him still. She scratched behind his ears as Jack went to place the saddle on his back, Warrior rolling his eyes back to look at him but he didn't kick out. It was a look of more curiosity than of malice intent. He was learning to trust him, just like she was. She liked Jack, he was gentle and kind. Not at all like the men her mother associated with, her father or Howard and even Robert to some degree. He was patient, patting Warrior gently as he did up the cinch on the saddle. She could tell in the way he looked at Lisa that he loved her, he treated her right. He was an example of what a man should be. 'He definitely isn't as nervous around you as he used to be.'

Jack patted Warrior on the rump as he swapped sides, making sure that the saddle was done up nice and snug. 'He's a good horse. To be honest, I was really worried at first about Lisa riding him but he's been an angel the entire time.'

'That's my boy.' She patted him again as she slipped his halter off and took the bridle Cindy handed to her. Gently she opened his mouth and placed the bit in, pulling the headstall over his ears and into place as she tightened the throat lash. She turned to Cindy, placing his reins in her hands. 'Alright, let's take him to the arena. Remember to walk at his shoulder, you don't want him stepping on you.'

'I remember.' Cindy replied, leading the stallion out of the barn. 'Come on boy, I finally get to ride you again.'

Jessie turned to Lisa as they followed her at a safe distance to the arena. 'Thank you for exercising him for me Lisa, he looks great.'

'Hmm?' Lisa was startled from her thoughts as she looked down at the girl. 'Oh, it was my pleasure. I've ridden some fantastic horses, but Warrior is something else compared to them. He's a special horse.'

'That he is.' She chuckled. 'I hope he didn't give you too much trouble.'

'No, no. He was very well-behaved.' Reaching the arena, she placed her arms on the fence as she leaned against it. Cindy was already in the arena, Jack closing the gate as he walked over to help her onto the stallion. 'I can see why he means so much to you.'

Jessie nodded, watching as Jack helped Cindy mount. 'Warrior is all I have, I don't know what I'd do without him.' She rested her chin on her arms, leaning on the fence like Lisa was. 'I don't think I could live without him. He's everything to me, my friend, my companion. My rock and my safe place. Best of all, he doesn't back chat and he can't reveal secrets.' She sighed deeply, a cloud of sadness passing over her countenance. 'What will happen to him? I've been trying not to think of it, but what will happen when I have to go to the next foster home? Realistically, foster children can't own anything they can't take with them. I don't think there'd be many foster homes that have room for a horse, and even less who would actually want me there with a horse. I can't leave him behind, but I know that I can't take him with me either.'

'How about we cross that bridge if we come to it?' Lisa replied softly, placing her arm around the girl's shoulders. 'I'm sure if it came to it, either Jack or I could take care of him.'

'But for how long would you do that for? It's six long years before I'd be out of care, I can't expect him to sit around doing nothing for that long.' And Cougar, she'd probably be long gone without someone there to look after her. She couldn't expect them to look after her animals for six years, the idea of that was purely impractical. 'I'd be better off on my own, living in the mountains again. At least we had each other, that was all we needed.' She looked up as Cindy mounted, Warrior snorting a little and sidestepping as Jack tried to keep hold of him. 'Let go of him Jack, Cindy has him under control. Cindy, give him a little more rein and settle him down. He doesn't like a tight rein.'

'Sorry Jessie, I forgot.' She let the reins slip through her hands a little bit as the stallion shook his head again. Warrior snorted as he stood quietly again and she leaned down to pat him. 'Easy boy, easy. Good boy.'

Jack stepped back to the stallion, patting his neck as he looked at the stirrups. 'Are the stirrups okay Cindy?'

'Yeah, they feel fine.'

'Let him walk on now Cindy.' Jessie interrupted, watching the stallions cues. 'He's ready now, just take it slow. He needs to be warmed up before you do anything with him.'

'I remember.'

Jack left the girl as she nudged the stallion into a walk and headed over to Lisa and Jessie, joining them on the outside of the arena. 'I'm surprised that you are letting her ride him Jessie.'

Jessie chuckled. 'I promised her that she could have a ride as soon as I got out of the hospital. She's actually a good rider, and she hasn't been riding for long. I taught her on Warrior in secret at the home, so if the need ever arose that she needed to ride she would know how to. I owe my life to her. Her and Warri.'

'She's a natural, that's for sure.' Jack agreed as he watched her walk the stallion around the arena.

'She had a good teacher.' Lisa nudged her with her elbow. 'And a good horse to teach her. Warrior might be headstrong and spirited but he wouldn't deliberately hurt you or Cindy. He was quite behaved after the first couple of times I rode him.'

'Once you earn his trust, you've got it for life.' She sighed again, looking at her stallion. 'I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't be with him. Being in the hospital, it was more than enough time away from him. Has Clint mentioned anything to you about where I'm going next?'

Jack nodded, knowing she would ask that question. He'd been expecting it. 'He has found a place for you, but they can't take you for another couple of weeks so you'll be here till then. Other than that, I don't know anything about it.'

'I thought he'd find a place for me, I just didn't think it would be so soon.' She rested her head on her arms again as she sighed. 'I just wish I didn't have to move around, I just want a place to call home. A family that calls me theirs, and not just be treated as a foster child, a nobody.'

'Can I go faster now?' Cindy asked as she rode past them again. 'I think Warrior is getting bored.'

'I think you are more like.' Jessie returned her attention to Cindy as she nodded. 'Okay, trot him up now.'

'I hate the trot. It's so bouncy.'

She chuckled. 'Post Cindy, remember what I taught you. Rise and sit with the beat. It's better than doing a sitting trot, you can practice that later.'

'How thrilling.' She nudged the stallion with her heels and Warrior shook his head as he transitioned into a trot. 'Can't I canter yet?'

'Patience Cindy, patience.' Jessie smiled at her enthusiasm, watching as she posted the trot. She put her chin on her arms again, resting her head as she looked at them. She didn't want this to end, didn't want this moment to end. She was happy, watching the girl laugh and giggle as she rode the stallion but the heavy cloud of worry weighed down on her. This was not to last forever.