Hi guys!

Hope you've all had a good weekend! Here's another chapter for you all to enjoy. It's slightly shorter then previous chapters but I think the story in this chapter makes up for shorter update...

Anyway, enjoy!

Chapter 13.0

Jessie stared into the flames of the crackling fire a few days later, watching them dance and sway. Sleep wouldn't come. No matter how hard she tried, her thoughts wouldn't allow her to rest. She glanced over across the room at the clock, it was just past two in the morning. She sighed as she slipped out from under the covers of the cot and sat down on the rug in front of the fireplace.

The silence was deafening. She hated the silence, hated it ever since she had been locked in the cellar in the cold and darkness. While there was noise and action, she didn't have time to worry about her thoughts, but when night came and all was quiet and still her thoughts plagued her mind. She couldn't escape them, no matter what.

She glanced back at the clock again, only five minutes had passed since the last time she had looked. She groaned inwardly, it was going to be another long, sleepless night. Grabbing the fire poker off its hook on the fireplace she stoked the burning coals then threw in another couple of logs. The flames sizzled and snapped as fire engulfed the wood, cracking and popping that interrupted the silence. She placed the poker back then sat down on the rug again to watch the flames as a warm glow filled the room. Watching the fire, it calmed her. It reminded her of the nights spent beside a fire in the wilderness. Cougar would curl up close to her, insisting upon sleeping under the skins and blankets beside her. Warrior would stand a couple feet away, the stallion watching for danger while she slept. She was lucky to have a horse like him, yet for how much longer? It hadn't taken her long to figure out that foster children had no rights to own anything that couldn't fit into a suitcase. What would happen to him? What would happen to Cougar, who was still a secret?

She couldn't bear the thought of giving either of them up. They were all she had, everything she had. They were her world. They were the last link with her and her old life in the mountains. She sighed as she thought of Robert. She had come to realise what had been missing in that home by watching Jack with Lisa and his grandkids. Love. There hadn't been any of that for as long as she could remember. Not in the essence of how Jack and Lisa treated those around them anyway. Robert, she had come to realise hadn't shown her what love really was. Oh, he had taken care of her and taught her everything she knew, but she had always felt like something had been missing and she knew now what it was. Lillian had shown her more love then he did but after she'd died that was it. There wasn't anyone else left who took care of her, Robert certainly didn't.

Lisa and Jack, they had taken her in till she had to go to the next foster home. They had taken her in when she was injured, they had looked after her. They spent time with her. Lisa had shown her what love really was. In her smile, in her understanding. There was no other place she felt more safe than in her arms. She had never felt that ever, never knew what it was like. She wished that she could stay here forever, but she understood why she couldn't. They all had their own lives to live. She felt that if she stayed she would be in the way. Maybe it was better that a foster home had already been found for her. The longer she stayed, the harder she knew it would be to leave.

A noise behind her caught her attention, slightly scaring her as she turned to see what had made it. 'Cindy!' She hissed, her heart pounding after it had skipped a beat. 'You scared the living daylights out of me! What on earth are you doing up?' The girl sniffled as she came into the light and Jessie instantly regretted getting cross at her. 'Cindy honey, are you crying?'

'What-' Cindy's voice broke as she tried to hide it. 'N-no.'

'Cindy.' She replied gently but firmly as she motioned for her to come over and join her on the rug. The girl slinked over, sitting down beside her as she pulled a blanket off her cot and wrapped her in it. She placed her arm around her as the girl snuggled up to her, still sniffing back sobs softly. 'Ssssh, I've got you. You're alright. You're alright.' She kissed her head gently, holding onto her as the girls strangled sobs lessened and finally stopped. 'What happened Honey?'

'I can't sleep.' She replied softly, her head resting on the older girl's chest. She nuzzled in closer, feeling her warm arms around her. It was okay now. She was with Jessie. Jessie kept her safe. 'My mind has the scary capability of being dark and demented.'

Jessie could guess she had gotten that description idea off Mallory as she stroked her hair. 'You are afraid of your dreams?'

'Yes.' She replied quietly, hanging her head. 'They won't leave me alone.'

'The dreams?'

Cindy nodded. 'I'm scared. I'm too scared to go back to sleep.'

'Oh Cindy.' She kissed her head gently. 'Its okay. Do you want to tell me what the dream was about?' The girl shook her head but she could guess what was in the dream. 'Was it about me?' The girl nodded, pressing closer to her as she held on tight to her. 'Cindy, nothing is going to happen to me.'

'I don't want to lose you.' She sniffed. 'After I go back to my Grandma next week, we might never see each other again. What's going to happen with you? You have to go to another foster home while I get to go home.'

Jessie looked into the flames of the fire, searching in her mind for some type of answer. 'Cindy, I don't want you worrying about me. I'm going to be just fine in this new foster home. You get to go home to your grandma, you should be happy. I couldn't be happier for you, you're going back to your home. Your family. I don't want you worrying about me.'

'It's not just leaving you that I'm worried about.'

'What is it then Cindy?'

'My grandma.'

'What about her honey?'

'What if she doesn't love me anymore?' She sniffed as a tear ran down her cheek, falling onto Jessie's pajamas. Jessie held her tight, kissing her head and stroking her hair softly as she cried louder. 'I-I've changed. I'm n-not the p-person I used to be. H-how can s-she love me w-when she s-sees how d-different I a-am?'

'Oh Cindy, sweetheart.' Jessie felt for her, the girl sobbing quietly in her arms as she tried to reassure her. 'I promise you that your grandmother still loves you, regardless of what you have been through.'

'But my d-dream-'

'It was only a dream Honey. Your grandmother loves you, there's nothing that is going to change that.'

'She s-said she d-didn't want m-me me anymore.'

'In your dream?' The girl nodded as she held onto her. 'It's alright honey, it was just a dream. It's not real.'

'It f-felt real.'

'I know, I know. Dreams can be like that sometimes.' Jessie kissed her head gently, trying to sooth and calm the girl. 'I understand Cindy, I understand. I have dreams like that all the time. I know they feel real, but you have to remember that they aren't. It's only your mind playing tricks on you while you sleep.'

The girl calmed down, resting against her with a sigh. They fell silent, the minutes ticking slowly by until she spoke again. 'What do you dream about?'

'Things that happened to me in my past.'

'What things?'

Jessie sighed as she rubbed the girls head with her chin. 'I can't tell you Cindy, not now. What happened to me-' She paused for a moment, trying to explain in a way that wouldn't reveal anything to her. 'I didn't have a really good past to begin with, even before I was sent to that home. Things I've seen, things I've been through, it still plagues me day and night. It's not the kind of thing that I can tell you about.'

'Why?'

'Your too young.'

Cindy rolled her eyes as she sniffled, wiping the last of her tears off her face. 'I'm only two years younger than you. It's not much, so you can't really use that excuse.'

'Cindy, I want to protect you by not telling you about what happened to me. I really don't want you knowing honey, it's not that I have things to hide, it's just that I really don't believe you would be able to handle it.'

'Was it worse than the foster home?'

'Yes.' She stared into the fire as she began to have flashbacks. Her parents arguing. The beatings. The abuse. The men and women drinking and shooting up while she hid under her bed to get away from them. The gun he pulled from his coat. Her mother falling to the floor. The gun in her hand. The shot being fired that ended Matt's life. Her shoulders began to shake as she saw in her mind her father's face, the torment images as raw and as fresh as if she were back there staring at his corpse. She swallowed the lump rising in her throat. 'Y-yes. It was.'

Cindy looked at her as Jessie bowed her head, the older girl looking down at her hands. She could see that she was upset, and she snuggled close to her as she put her arm around her. 'Hey, you don't have to tell me. It's okay. You're okay.'

'Thanks Cindy.' She chuckled lightly, leaning against her embrace. 'I guess you can say roles here have reversed.'

'Hey, when you made that promise to me, it wasn't just you who made a promise. I will always be here, just remember that.'

'Will you write to me when you go back to your grandma's?'

'I will, as long as you promise me that you will write too.' She nudged her gently. 'But Jessie, whatever you went through, it's in the past. It's behind you now. You have to move forward. You can't stay in the past.'

'I know.' Jessie looked at her, a small smile on her face. 'That sounds familiar.'

'It should. It's what you told me last week.'

'I guess I need to put my own advice into practice.' She sighed deeply as the clock struck three. 'You and I both need to get some sleep. It's going to be morning before we know it.'

Cindy nodded. 'Can I sleep with you? Like we used to in the foster home?'

'Sure honey, but it'll have to be on the floor. The stretcher won't fit both of us on it. Grab the blankets, I'll grab the cuisiouns off the couch.'

'Okay.' She chuckled as she quietly grabbed the blankets off the cot. 'This reminds me of my grandma and I having sleep outs in the living room when I was little. We used to build blanket tents with the kitchen chairs and imagine we were camping. Did you do anything like that?'

'No.' Jessie shook her head as she placed the cushions on the rug. 'I didn't.'

'You don't know what you have been missing out on then.' She teased. 'We should make one tomorrow.'

'Aren't we just a tad old for that kind of thing?'

'Pshaw. My grandma's over sixty and she still does them with me. I guess it is probably just a little bit young for us though.'

'I think however I could teach you how to make a bush shelter. That way you still get to build a tent, but it's not as immature as a blanket tent.'

'Sounds like a plan then.' She snuggled down under the blankets next to the older girl. 'Why did you choose to sleep out here and not in Mallory's room with me anyway?'

'I like watching the fire.' She placed her arm around her as Cindy cuddled up close to her like she used to after a bad dream at the foster home. 'And besides, I don't want to keep her awake when I can't sleep from a bad dream. I don't want to put her out, I just prefer to stay out of the way so I'm not going to cause any problems.'

She expected her to reply, but she was met with silence. She looked down at her, a small smile creeping over her face as she saw her asleep, the girl resting her head on her chest. She turned back to the fire, watching the flames dance as the sound of Cindy's breathing and heartbeat lulled her off to sleep…

The soft sounds of Jack's footsteps brought Jessie back to reality as she began to stir from her slumber. She yawned quietly as she glanced at Cindy still sleeping beside her and a small smile crossed her face. Cindy looked so cute asleep, so peaceful. She was glad she had been able to get some rest, she had been quite upset the night before.

Carefully she slipped her arm out from under her and got up, placing the blankets down around the girl so that she didn't get a chill. Covering her mouth to silence a yawn she quietly walked into the kitchen where Jack was preparing his morning coffee. 'Morning Jack.'

Jack glanced up, slightly surprised she was awake so early. 'I hope I didn't disturb you.'

She shook her head as she sat down at the table, glancing out the window at the sun just starting to rise. 'No, this was the time I used to get up anyway. Best time of the day, early morning.' She covered her mouth again as she yawned. 'A little more sleep wouldn't have gone astray though.'

'You didn't sleep well I take it then.' He poured his coffee then took a seat beside her. 'How did Cindy end up with you?'

'She had a nightmare, she couldn't get back to sleep. She used to crawl into my bed at the foster home, I guess she felt safe with me.' She sighed, glancing back towards the living room. 'I'm going to miss her. I'm glad she gets to go back to her grandma though, she deserves to be with her.'

'You two are pretty close, aren't you?'

Jessie nodded. 'Yeah. We're going to write to each other, I hope we can keep in contact. When is she going back?'

'Next Thursday, so just a little under a week.'

'I guess we had better make the most of it then.' She looked down at her hands as she sighed. 'And when do I have to go to my next foster home?'

'The Wednesday after.' He got back up to grab himself another cup of coffee, filling the coffee maker up again. 'Do you want some water?' Jessie nodded and he grabbed another cup from the cupboard. 'Clint scheduled picking you up for that Wednesday, but he said he might come get you earlier depending on what happens with another foster child.'

'So I guess I won't be taking Warrior with me?' Her stomach churned nervously as he handed her the glass and sat down again. 'Did he figure him into my placement?'

Jack fiddled with his mug handle, trying to think of a way to explain the situation to the girl. 'He did try and find you a place on a ranch, but there was no one willing to take you at this time, other than the couple in Vancouver.'

'Vancouver?' She squeaked. 'That's miles away! It's going to be nice being stuck in a city with people I don't know, just another worthless ward of foster care. I know what being a foster kid means. It means you never belong, you are always the outsider, you're never really part of the family. You're never really wanted, they don't care about us.' The reality of her new way of life sunk in like a stone dropped into an ocean. There was no way she was going to be able to keep either Warrior or Cougar. What did she have then? She had nothing. 'I guess I've got to get used to being pushed from pillar to post. It's nice knowing that I'll be moved on when they get tired of me.'

'Jessie, it's not like that-'

'What am I expected to think Jack?' She snapped, her eyes blazing as she raised her voice. 'No one gives a crap about me other than how much money they can get for me.'

'Jessie-'

'Just leave me be Jack!' She lashed out as she got out of her chair, hurrying out the front door without even putting her boots or coat on. The door slammed shut loudly behind her as she ran to the barn, tears welling in her eyes. How could she leave Warrior and Cougar? They were all she had. She pulled the door open, grunting with exertion as she felt her stitches in her side pull. She held her side for a moment, catching her breath as she leaned against the door frame. Gritting her teeth, she walked into the barn and to Warrior's stall. Warrior snorted as she patted him. 'We're going for a long ride boy.'