Hi guys!

Well, I didn't expect to upload at again so soon but since Ive been able to get quite a lot done on my next story in the saga I decided I'd treat you all to another chapter! Hope you enjoy and thanks for the reviews. They really make my day!

Chapter 16.0

'I think you've just about finished it off.' Jessie exclaimed as she looked at the lean-to shelter Cindy had built under her careful direction. 'You've done a good job on it. Just put a few more branches on the roof and then you're done.'

'Okay.' She grabbed a couple of branches from the pile next to the shelter and tied them down onto the roof. 'How's that?'

'Perfect.' She exclaimed as she smiled at her. 'You did well.'

'Well, what do we do now?'

'We sit down and enjoy it.' Jessie got up from the stump she had been sitting on too watch next to Warrior and crawled into the shelter, lying down on the pine needle bed. This brings back memories. Warrior shuffled over closer towards the shelter, grazing the grass under the fallen maple leaves. Cindy crawled in after her, lying down beside her. 'Was that fun?'

'You bet. Just as good as building a blanket tent.' She propped herself up on one arm so she could look at her while talking. 'Where'd you learn how to do this stuff anyway?'

'Oh here and there.' It was a vague answer, but she hadn't told the girl the extent of what her past had been like to shield her from the knowledge of what she had gone through. Cindy was only ten years old. She was so much younger then herself, much more innocent then her even though she was only two years younger and had been through almost the same things in the foster home. It was that strong drive to protect her, protect her from the truth that gave an elusive answer. 'I pick up things quickly, I only have to watch and try it once then I can do it over and over again.'

'That's not much of an answer.' Cindy chastised, a little annoyed at her answer. Whenever she asked about her past the older girl never told her anything. What was so bad that she couldn't tell her about it? Last night she had said that it was worse than the foster home, but what could be worse than that? 'You didn't answer my question. Where'd you learn this stuff?'

Jessie sighed, trying to think of a way that she could satisfy her curiosity without revealing anything. 'I lived out here in the high country for over a year by myself, I had to learn how to survive.' She was thankful for the bush training that Robert and Lillian had given her, they were the ones who had taught her most of what she knew about bush survival. 'This was my go to shelter to build when I couldn't find a cave or fallen tree or something. Easy to build, not much supplies required and everything used to build it is found out here.'

'Where would you find twine out here?' She asked, slightly confused. 'It doesn't grow on trees.'

'I make twine using grass roots.' She chuckled. 'I gave you twine to make it easier. I can teach you how to make it later if you want.'

'Sure.' She crawled up to her, Jessie wrapping her arms around her as she snuggled in close. 'I'm going to miss this when I go back to my grandma.'

'I'm sure your grandma will give you lots of hugs.'

'Not hugs. You. You've been so kind to me, looking out for me and such. I'm going to miss you.'

'Hey, enough of that. You're going to make me start crying if you keep talking like that. We still have a few days together, let's make the most of it hey?'

'Okay.' She nodded. 'So, where's Cougar?'

Jessie gulped. 'How did you find out about her?'

'I saw Mallory feeding her.' Cindy replied. 'Don't worry, I won't tell anyone about her. I know how important it is to keep her a secret.'

The older girl breathed a sigh of relief. 'Thank you for not telling anyone about her.' She motioned with her head to some trees off by the side. 'She's just over there, she's been here the whole time.'

'Where?' She squinted, trying to see the mountain lion. 'I don't see her.'

'Right there, she's hiding amongst the bushes.' Sticking her fingers in her mouth she whistled for the puma and Cougar quickly lept from the bush she had been hiding in. She chuckled as she rubbed against her, purring loudly. 'I guess you've missed me.'

'Hey girl.' Cindy scratched behind the cougars ears as she laid down between them. She yawned loudly as Cougars throat vibrated loudly with her purrs, the sensation feeling funny as Cougar laid her head on her arm. 'She has one heck of a loud purr.'

'Yes, she most certainly does.' Jessie agreed, laughing as the mountain lion licked her cheek. 'She's just like a regular house cat, only a lot bigger and with a much louder purr.'

'Its sending me to sleep.' She yawned again, then snuggled down next to the older girl. 'All that work tired me out. I think I'm going to have a nap. I don't think I can keep my eyes open a moment longer.'

'Okay, you do that.' Chuckling, she placed her arm around her as Cindy relaxed into her hold. Her fingers ran through Cougar's fur as the girl quickly fell sound asleep, her mountain lion blinking her eyes as she started to get sleepy as well. 'Off you go Cougar, you need to hide if you want to sleep. Ty will be coming back soon to check on us, you can't be here.'

Cougar rose, licking her hand as she slunk off in the direction of the bushes she had come from. Jessie looked down at Cindy, a small smile coming across her face. A noise from down below in the valley beneath them turned her attention away from the girl as she saw Ty riding up to them. Warrior snorted, raising his head from where he'd been grazing beside the shelter but then put his muzzle back to the grass when he saw the disturbance wasn't anything to be worried about.

She put her finger to her lip telling him to be quiet, motioning down at Cindy sleeping beside her as he dismounted. Ty nodded, tying his bay to a tree quietly then walking softly over to her and sat down beside her. 'I see you're keeping an eye on us.' She whispered, chuckling. 'We're both fine.'

'I can see that.' He smiled, looking down at Cindy. 'Wore her out did you?'

'She didn't get much of a sleep last night.' She replied. 'I'll let her sleep, she needs a nap.'

'Do you want anything to eat? It's almost lunch time.'

Jessie shook her head. 'No, I'm not hungry. Thanks for asking though.'

'Alright, well I'll leave you two to it then.' He placed his hand on her shoulder as he stood up. 'I'll see you around.'

'Okay.' She nodded as he left, watching as he untied the gelding then mounted and rode down the hill back to the ranch. She could still feel his hand on her shoulder, his touch had said more than words. In a touch you could reassure a person, tell them it was going to be okay and to not lose hope. Words weren't needed when a touch was sincere. She sighed, looking down at her hands. It helped knowing that there was someone who had been where she was now, had gone through what she was going through. She wasn't alone.

She could hear a truck coming up the drive, watched as Jack pulled up to the barn with a load of hay in the back. A feeling washed over her as she saw him get out of the truck, a mix of remorse and sorrow. She knew she shouldn't have lashed out at him like she had. It wasn't his fault. She honestly didn't know what had happened, her anger had just overtook her, the same way it had with Lisa. There had been nothing she could have done about it, all her anger and emotions had just been held inside for too long and she'd let them all out on Jack. She kicked herself inwardly. Jack didn't deserve to be treated like that by her. The way that she had reacted, lashed out without any warning and had been so violent in her actions reminded her of the way her father had used to act.

She growled in her throat. Her father would crack like that, the tiniest thing had made him lash out in a fit of temper at whatever was around him. He didn't just use words, he'd used his fists too and anything else he could get his hands on. While she hadn't done that, just the very thought of the correlation between her reactions and her father's behaviour scared her to her very soul. Was she turning out like him? She had vowed never to be like that, and yet she was acting just like him.

Jessie slowly slipped her arm out from underneath Cindy, careful not to disturb her as she slipped away from her. She needed space, she needed some time. Time to get herself and her thoughts in order and under control as hard as that might be. She didn't want to hurt her or anyone else if another fit of anger took hold of her. Slowly she walked back over to the stump she had been sitting on before, sitting down quietly as Warrior moseyed on over to her. He nudged her gently, brushing his muzzle over her cheek. 'What have I done boy? What have I done?' She asked quietly as she patted his neck with shaking hands. 'I'm just like my father.'

Her hands shook as she ran them over his fur, her eyes blurring with tears. She felt terrible for what had happened, just like before when she'd lashed out at Lisa. She was pushing them away, even though she wanted nothing more than for them to stay. She knew she needed them, she wanted them. Their concern, their care and yet all she could ever seem to do now was respond to that with anger. It wasn't their fault for her circumstance, they had nothing to do with it. They didn't deserve to get what she had dished out on them. It's not their fault. She reminded herself, her breathing getting faster again like it had back in the hospital that time. Her heart was pounding as her hands shook, bringing them to her face as she buried it in them in shame. Tears began to pour down her cheeks and her whole body soon consumed in shaking as she sobbed into her hands. Her emotions, her thoughts coming out in one giant tidal wave she couldn't hold in any longer. It's not their fault, it's yours. It's all yours. You just better get used to the idea of being a worthless foster child. You'll never belong anywhere. You are worthless, not worthy to be loved. No one loves you, no one cares for you. If they did, you wouldn't be in the mess you are now.

As her thoughts told her the horrible untruths in her mind, she sobbed louder, her breaths coming in short gasps between cries. She believed them, believed her thoughts. She didn't belong, didn't deserve to belong anywhere. There was no place for her. No one could ever love a child as broken and torn as she was, she wasn't worthy of anyone's love. There wasn't a place for her, there wasn't a place for her anywhere. What was the point of living anymore? Her insides felt like they were getting ripped out as she tried to catch her breath, hearing her heart pounding in her ears as she struggled to breathe. You're dying, and you're dying alone. The voice in her head told her. They'll be better off without you anyway. There is no place for you in this world. There is nothing left for you. Why fight any longer?

Warrior nudged her gently, then nibbled at her hair when she didn't respond. He could tell something was wrong, something was really wrong with her. He snorted as he pulled away, trying to figure out what was going on. He looked at her, his ears flicking back and forward as he tried to make sense of her behaviour. His instincts told him she was upset, really upset but he had never seen her like this before. What was he to do? He looked behind him to the shelter where Cindy was sleeping still, oblivious to the pain and struggle Jessie was going through and turned back to the girl. He had to snap her out of it. He had to calm her down. Jessie gasped as she felt teeth nip her arm gently, snapped abruptly out of her thoughts. Taking her hands from her face, she lashed out, her fist connecting with something as her survival instincts kicked in. Through her tears, she looked up to see Warrior shaking his head, snorting as he took quick steps back away from her. God no! I hit him! Her breath coming in strangled gasps like someone was choking the realization of what she had just done began to come to her. I'm a monster. I hit the only thing that has ever been here for me. I'm just like my father.

'I'm sorry boy, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.' She choked the words out as she tried to stand to walk towards him. Warrior snorted, flinging his head up and down as he took another few steps away from her. 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it boy. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.' She took a step towards him, her whole body shaking as she tried to walk. The stallion snorted, taking another step backwards. 'I'm sorry boy. I'm sorry.' He took another step away, and her remorse turned into anger. 'Fine! Leave me! Just like everyone else does!' She yelled, falling to her knees, her face buried in her hands. 'Just go!' She cried, tears pouring down her cheeks as she whispered, barely audible. 'Go.'

Warrior sniffed towards her cautiously, every muscle in his body tensed, ready to flee if she lashed out again. It wasn't like her, she had never ever hit him. Her sobbing went right to his soul as his ears flicked towards her. His body tingled with caution, his ingrained memory telling him to run, that she was now a person to not trust but his instincts kept his hooves planted firmly where he stood. He knew that this wasn't like her at all. Something was dreadfully, dreadfully wrong with her. He snorted, looking around to see if there was anyone he could lead to her to help her but there wasn't anyone around. Cindy was still sleeping, and the ranch below was still and quiet. He'd have to do it himself.

Cautiously, slowly, one hoof forward at a time he walked closer to her. Every muscle in his body was tensed, ready for a quick getaway that his mind told him to make but his heart telling him to stay. This wasn't her, this wasn't the real her. Another step forward, he extended his head down towards her, sniffing her gently. She didn't move, only continued making those strangled sobs that chilled him to the bone. He gently lipped her hair with his muzzle, then pressed against her as he nudged his face into her chest.

Jessie could feel the stallion rubbing against her, becoming aware of his presence as he nudged her. 'I'm so sorry boy, I'm so sorry.' She placed her arms around his neck as he blew gently on her face through his nostrils. Through her watery eyes she could see him as she held onto him like her life depended on it. 'I'm sorry. I'm sorry.' She apologized over and over again, holding onto him like she was scared he was going to leave her. 'I'm sorry.' He nudged her gently, his head wrapped around her as he pulled her in close to his legs. She could feel his velvet lips gently tickling the back of her neck, felt his warm fur against her cheek as she slowly started to calm, her breathing and heartbeat slowing to match the stallions without her even noticing it. He nudged her again, this time breaking the grip she held him in to take a step back. 'No boy, don't leave me. Don't leave me. Please.'

He sniffed her gently, walking back to her as he licked the tears from her cheeks. 'I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it boy.' Jessie sobbed as she began to calm, her reasoning and senses returning to her as her panic attack started to abate. She reached her hand forward to him, shaking as she tried to pat him. The blank snorted, looking at her hand as he took a step back. 'I won't hurt you. You have to believe me. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it. I don't want to hurt you. You have to trust me. Please boy. Please.'

Slowly, slowly, cautiously, the stallion took the step forward towards her outstretched hand, placing his muzzle underneath it so she could pat him. 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry.' She apologized again, touching his nose gently then going over his cheek where she had punched him. Warrior flinched at her touch, but didn't pull back away from her. His brown eyes looked at her, trust shining through them at her. His glance broke her heart. He was so trusting of her when she was so broken and unpredictable. A monster like her father that she had vowed she never would be but yet was. She didn't deserve him. 'I'm sorry boy. I'm sorry.'

Jessie wrapped her arms around his neck as he walked closer to her again, her heart shattering into a million pieces. How could she let him go? How could she leave him? He could have run, he should have run and yet he had stayed with her even after what she had done. 'What am I going to do without you boy? How can I live without you?' His brown eyes gazed into her, eyes so wise and full of emotion. 'How can I leave you? How can I leave you behind?' He nudged her again, his muzzle wiping the tears off her cheeks then he blew softly in her face. She blew softly back, the greeting between two horses no longer just for horses only. It was a mutual agreement, that they were equals. That they trusted each other. She had broken that trust. Warrior never would have hurt her, and yet she had hurt him. 'I didn't mean it boy. I didn't mean it.'

She sat there on the ground, her arms around his neck as time slipped past. She sat there, gaining strength from his presence, slowly calming down and getting her thoughts in order as she held onto him. She didn't know what had happened, what had happened to her. It scared her, scared her terribly. She had thought she was going to die. What had happened to her? It felt like she wasn't even herself anymore, like she was someone else trapped inside her body. It was like she didn't know herself anymore. Closing her eyes, she leaned in close to Warrior, breathing him in as she tried to make sense of what had happened to her.

'Jessica, Jessie where are you?'

She turned, hearing Cindy's voice as the girl called for her. Quickly she wiped the last of her tears off her face and waved from when she was standing. 'Over here Cindy.' Her voice was bright and cheerful, her walls she hid herself behind going back up to protect herself. She never wanted her to know just how broken inside she was, never wanted anyone to know. They wouldn't care anyway. It was better just to pretend that she was okay rather than everyone seeing what she had been turned by her past into now. 'Have a good nap?'

Cindy nodded as she skipped down to her, yawning softly then chuckled. 'Can we go get something to eat now? I'm starving.'

'Sure.' She noticed the silver SUV coming up and the drive and patted Warrior's neck. 'Looks like Lisa's here.'

'Goody! Can I show her my riding bareback?'

'I don't see why not.' Jessie shrugged as she moved the stallion over closer to a stump the girl could use to mount. 'Alright, up you go.' She helped her climb on, then held her side as she gasped, her ribs and stitches protesting. 'Oooo-uch.'

'Gosh Jessie, are you okay?' She looked down at her, concern written on her face.

'I'm okay.' Leaning against the stallion's shoulder, she assured her while she caught her breath through gritted teeth. 'I forgot about these darn ribs. Man.' She winced, standing upright again. 'That hurt.'

'Maybe you should see the doctor.'

'No.' Jessie shook her head, handing her the leadrope after she'd caught her breath. 'I'm fine.' She motioned to Warrior as she patted his neck as he sniffed her gently. 'I think you should be able to ride him without me leading him now. How about you go take a try?'

'Are you sure?'

'I'm sure. Just nudge him gently with your heels and he'll go.'

'Okay.' Cindy replied rather hesitantly, then picked up the lead and a lock of his mane. 'Git up boy.'

Jessie followed them slowly down the hill back towards the ranch, absorbed and quiet in her thoughts again. It was almost like she was in a trance the way she walked soberly a distance from the horse and girl, her eyes blank and clouded with emotion.

'Jessie.' Lisa exclaimed as she saw her coming over towards the barn. There was something off, something wrong with her. She looked like she were in a daze, not even seeming to notice what was going on around her. Closing the door of her car, she walked up to her, frowning slightly. It wasn't like her at all. 'Jessie honey. Are you okay?'

Jessie jumped at her voice, her heart racing as she was jolted from her thoughts. She gasped for a moment, catching her breath as she nodded. 'Yeah. I'm fine.'

'How's your side?'

'Fine.'

'Are you sure?'

'Yeah. It's fine.'

Lisa sighed. 'Jessie-'

'Lisa, what do you want me to say?' She snapped. 'That I'm on top of the world? That my life is perfect?' Her face fell as she saw the look on Lisa's expression, her eyes watering as her hand came to her mouth. Why had she snapped at her again? She didn't mean any harm. 'I'm sorry. I-I'm sorry.'

She didn't say a word, just placed her arms around her and held her close to her as she let the girl cry. She looked down at her, kissing her head gently. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Jack helping Cindy get down off Warrior, the girl looking over at them with a confused and concerned look on her face. 'Take her to the house, I'll look after Jessie.' She lipped to Jack and he nodded then tied Warrior to the corral and headed in the house with the girl. She looked back down at Jessie, holding her as the girl continued to sob. She rubbed her back gently, kissing her head again. 'Its okay Jessie, you're going to be okay.'