Hi guys,

Hope everyone is well! I almost forgot it was time to update again but luckily I remembered! Thank you all for your reviews, I appreciate them so so so much!

Another hard chapter for Jessie, I'm afraid it's only going to get harder for the dear girl before it gets better but it will, eventually! We also have Clint's conversation with Jack and Lisa...

Enjoy!

Chapter 19.0

'Jessie, it's time to get up!'

Jessie groaned as she heard Cindy in her ear, rolling over as she pulled the pillow over her head. 'It's not morning Cindy. Go back to bed.'

'But it is Jessie! The sun is up.' She tickled her ear from under the pillow. 'Come on. Can't you remember what today is?'

'Ugh, it's Tuesday.'

'Yes?'

'It's our four week anniversary of getting away from the foster home?'

'Ye-no.' She stopped. 'Its it?'

'You better believe it.'

'Okay, but that's still not it.'

'I have no idea.'

'No idea? Jessie!' Cindy shreaked almost in disbelief. 'You can ride today!'

That did the trick. With no further prompting Jessie threw the pillow off her head and kicked the covers back. 'Why didn't you say so?'

'It was more fun making you guess.' Cindy teased, giggling as she handed her clothes to change into. 'And guess what happens in two days?'

'Um, more riding?' She quickly slipped out of her pajamas and into her day clothes.

'No, silly.' She slapped her arm playfully as Jessie hurriedly made her bed. 'My grandma is coming to get me.'

'Oh yeah, I forgot.'

'You forgot?' She pretended to be horrified. 'How could you forget? It's all I've been talking about.'

'I know. Tell me about it.'

'I just did.'

'Oh Cindy, you are crazy sometimes.' Jessie giggled, tossling the younger girl's hair. She glanced around as she heard Jack open his bedroom door and cringed. 'Sorry if we woke you, we didn't mean to.'

'No no it's okay girls, you didn't wake me. I've been up for ages.' He looked over at Jessie. 'So your jail term has come to an end it seems. Bet you're glad about that.'

'You bet! Now I can go riding without getting in trouble.' She finished making her bed, smoothing out the covers till she was happy with how it looked. 'Want some help with breakfast?'

'Sure, that would be great.'

'Can I help too?' Cindy asked excitedly. 'I love cooking.'

'Of course you can.' She replied as they headed into the kitchen. 'What are we going to do for breakfast?'

'Cookies?'

'Cookies for breakfast?' Jack chuckled. 'I don't think cookies for breakfast is a really great start to the day.'

'Awe.'

'Jack might let us make cookies later.' She looked at him as she grabbed the eggs out of the fridge. 'Could we?'

He nodded, grabbing a frying pan out for the bacon. 'I don't mind, just as long as it's after Clint leaves.'

Jessie's eyes narrowed. She hated that man, especially since he was the one forcing her to go to a new foster home where she couldn't take Warrior. 'What's he doing now? Coming to take me to that new foster home already?'

'No, it's not that.' He couldn't help but hear the coldness in her voice as she cracked an egg roughly into the pan. He'd seen that look in her eyes before, whenever she spoke of her father or the other foster carers as of late. Jessie was starting to get a temper and it wasn't pretty. He could hardly blame her though, in her mind she associated that man with what had happened to her at the foster home. It didn't help either that he was sending her away from Warrior. He wasn't going to let that happen, that was why Clint was coming today. They were going to discuss the possibility of them getting a joint guardianship over her. He couldn't tell her that though. 'It's nothing major, he just wants to drop in to check on you two and discuss a couple things about Cindy for her file.'

'Tell him I'm busy.' She smashed another egg against the side of the pan, growling as a piece of shell went into the white. Quickly she picked it out, throwing it aside. 'I don't want to see him.'

'If he asks to see you, you are going to see him. Do you understand?' Jack replied gently but firmly. Jessie glared at him for a moment, her eyes flaming then they changed to that clouded look she got when she crawled back into her shell. She looked down, her shoulders slumped in defeat as she nodded, suddenly interested in the contents of the fry pan. 'I understand that you are having a hard time, but unfortunately you have to do what he says.'

'I know, doesn't mean I have to do it happily though.' She bitterly answered as she flipped an egg over. 'I'd much rather be here or by myself fending for myself then go to another foster home.'

'Unfortunately it's the law Jessie. You know that.'

'Yeah, don't I know it.' She moved aside so Jack could get in to put the bacon on the stove in another pan. 'Cindy, you got that toast on?'

'Yes.' Cindy replied softly, a bit taken aback at her abruptness. 'No need to be so cranky.'

'Sorry.' She sighed, taking a deep breath. Cindy was right, there was no need to take her anger out on her. She was just like her father. 'I'm sorry for going off at you. I didn't mean it.'

'It's okay.' Grabbing the toast out she chucked it onto a plate then put more bread in. 'What are we going to do today?'

'A ride is at the top of my list.' Jessie flipped the eggs, still kicking herself for snapping at Cindy. 'Making those cookies with you.'

'Can we make chocolate chip cookies? We could make extra, they're my Grandma's favourite.'

'Sure.' She agreed, hoping that going along with what she wanted would help a little. 'Jack, how about you and Lisa come riding with us. It's going to be our only chance for us to all ride together.'

Jack shrugged. 'I don't see why not. I'm sure Lisa will be in on it too. We can make those cookies first and take them on the trail ride, sort of have a mini picnic.'

'That's a great idea Jack!' Cindy shrieked with excitement. 'It's going to be so much fun! What do you think Jessie?'

'Yeah.' She nodded, looking out the window as the eggs cooked. Her fire, her anger was gone, a huge giant hole of sorrow and grief taking its place. It felt real, Cindy's leaving and she was reminded again that she would be leaving soon too. This trail ride would be their first and last.

The sound of the eggs sizzling as they cooked brought her back to reality and she flipped them over again. She looked back out the window absorbed in her thoughts as Amy and Lou came into the kitchen, Mallory following but she didn't even notice as a tear slid down her cheek. Cindy going back to her grandmother was taking a bigger toll on her then she had first thought, then to have the added stress of being taken from Warrior. It was just too much.

'Jessie, I think the eggs are burning.' Mallory remarked as she grabbed a mug from the cupboard, the girl jumping at her tone, jolted roughly from her thoughts. 'Shesh, someone is on edge this morning.'

'Mallory.' Jack hissed, seeing the look on Jessie's face. Without a word the girl turned, running to the front door and disappeared outside. Mallory raised her eyebrow as she looked at him. 'Mallory, that wasn't really called for.'

'What's her problem? You'd think she saw a ghost or something.'

'She's upset about me leaving, isn't she?' Cindy asked, interrupting as Amy helped herself to some toast and Lou flipped the eggs onto a plate before they were turned to charcoal. She sighed, watching Jessie run to the barn.

He nodded. 'I'll go talk to her. Amy, can you get the bacon off in a couple minutes?'

'Sure Grampa.'

'Thanks.' Jack headed to the door, putting on his coat and hat as he walked through the mud room. Jessie's coat was still hanging up, the girl had run out so quickly that she hadn't bothered to get it. He sighed as he took it off the hook to take it to her and headed out into the chilly morning. Even though Jessie insisted that she was fine, he knew she wasn't. Quietly he walked into the barn, searching for the girl. She wasn't anywhere to be seen but Warrior had his head down at something in the corner and he could hear a sniffle coming from that direction. A glance into the stall revealed the girl was there, sitting in the corner hugging her knees as she cried and tried to keep warm. Warrior was nuzzling her gently, lifting his head to look at him as he quietly entered the stall and knelt down on the straw beside her. He placed her coat around her as the girl wiped her tears away, refusing to look at him. 'Jessie, I'm sorry if I came across as being harsh and upset with you.'

She shook her head, looking down at the ground. 'It- It's not that.' She sniffled, Warrior blowing gently on her as he nibbled her hair. She vigorously wiped her face dry, trying to regain her composure. 'I don't know why I'm like this.'

He gently placed his hand on her shoulder and for once she didn't flinch at his touch. He knew why she was like this. She was trying to appear to be alright, but she was bottling up her emotions till the slightest thing became too much for her. It was as simple as Mallory startling her. 'Jessie, it's okay. You don't have to be ashamed of crying.'

'I don't like men seeing me cry.' She sniffled. 'I don't want them thinking I'm weak.'

'Your not weak honey.' He assured her gently. He could understand why she didn't like showing her emotions around him, she was vulnerable in her state. The only men she had in her life except Robert had all abused her and given her this mindset. It broke his heart. He kissed her head gently as the girl snuggled up against him and put his arm around her. 'It's okay, just let it out Jessie. You'll feel so much better then holding it in.'

Jessie nodded as she let her tears flow, closing her eyes as she sobbed. She could feel Jack's arm around her, holding her. She felt safe. She leaned her head down on his shoulder, letting her emotions go. She just couldn't keep them in anymore.

Jack looked down at her as she sobbed, Warrior nudging her gently with his muzzle. It was heartbreaking, seeing her like this. She always seemed to be so strong regardless of what she had been through, he'd never seen her break to this extent before. Was choosing to look after her the right thing to do? Did he really have what it took to help her?

Slowly she calmed down, choking back sobs as she finished crying. 'Thank you Jack.' She looked up at him. 'I needed to get it out.'

'I know darling, you feel a bit better now don't you?' She nodded. 'What's wrong Jessie? Did I upset you?'

'No, it's not you Jack. You were only putting me in my rightful place.' She shook her head. 'I guess everything feels real now, Cindy leaving, me going to a new foster home.' She looked down at her hands as she began furiously biting her cuticles till they started to bleed. 'I don't want to leave here Jack, I love it here.'

'Clint is only doing what the department thinks is best honey.' He wanted to tell her about the decision he and Lisa had made, that was the whole reason why Clint was coming to see them today but he knew he couldn't. If they weren't able to receive custody of her, he hated to think of how she would take that. It was better that she didn't know. 'He's doing what they deem best.'

'I know.' She winced as she bit her finger hard. 'But I still can't see how sending me to another foster home is what's best for me.' She sighed, pulling away from him. 'I need to clear my mind. May I take Warrior out for a ride?'

Jack nodded. 'You go honey, but just stay around here for the moment. I want to be able to keep an eye on you okay?'

'Alright.' She agreed as she stood up, pushing Warrior back so Jack could get up. 'I'll take him to the arena.'

'Do you want me to save you some breakfast?'

'No, I'm not hungry. Thanks for offering though Jack.' Jessie turned back to Warrior as Jack left the barn, scratching behind his ears. 'Do you want to go for a ride boy?' He nuzzled against her, bumping her with his nose. 'I guess that's a yes.'

She could hear Ty stirring in the loft upstairs as she got Warriors bridle off the rack but she didn't seem to notice him as he came down, slipping back to her horse's stall. She needed to be alone and needed some space for a few minutes. 'Alright boy.' She placed the bit in his mouth and slipped the head stall over his ears, adjusting the bridle then picked the reins up to lead him out of the stable. 'Let's go ride.'

The stallions hooves clipped on the concrete as they left the barn and she stopped him just outside. Grabbing a lock of his mane she vaulted on, wincing slightly as her ribs protested. Damn it. She adjusted her seat, breathing heavily as she waited for her ribs to settle down. They were okay for the most part but pulling herself onto the horse had just strained it that little bit too much. Warrior flexed his neck, feeling the bit as he moved underneath her, waiting for her cue. 'Okay boy, I'm alright now.' Gently she nudged him with her heels and he strode off into a fast walk to the arena. She smiled, seeing the jumps that were still up from Amy working with one of her clients horses the day before. 'Want to try the jumps boy?'

He snorted, stretching out into a faster walk and she giggled. 'Guess that's a yes.' He stopped at the gate, swinging his rump around so she could reach the latch. She opened the gate then closed it behind them and slid off his back. He looked at her, flicking his ears. What was she doing? 'We need to check them first boy so we get the strides right between the jumps.'

Warrior followed her around as she did a walk of the course, nudging her with her nose as he danced around, playful as a spring foal. He loved jumping, just the promise of jumping sent him into a frenzy. 'Okay, lets see how we go boy.' She grabbed his reins and placed them over his neck, making him bow this time instead of vaulting on. 'Canter boy.'

He swished his tail as he jumped into a canter, snorting with excitement. Jessie smiled as she turned him towards the first jump, nudging him with her heels. He responded by going slightly faster, preparing to take off. She leaned down over his neck as he jumped then looked for the next jump, Warrior giving her a slight buck out of excitement. Her smile grew as the second oxer disappeared underneath them. Even with her being laid up for a month they still had it. Their connection was still there.

'Woah boy.' She slowed him to a halt after they had gone around once, reaching over his neck to slip his bridle off. She let it fall on the ground, oblivious to the silver car that had pulled up in the drive or the small audience that had gathered at the arena fence. Dropping her hands to her sides, she nudged him with her heels into a canter and turned him towards the first jump with a squeeze of her thigh. She didn't need tack to communicate with him, when she took the tack off they were one.

The oxer came up, Warrior dipping his head as he dug his hind hooves into the sand and leapt. Jessie laughed, stretching her arms out either side as he flew over, grinning widely from the rush of adrenaline. 'Faster boy, faster.'

Her hair was blown back over her shoulders, unraveled from the ponytail she had tied it in and flowing freely as Warrior took the next jump. She grabbed a lock of his mane to steady herself as he landed then turned him for the next obstacle. Warriors long stride ate up the distance in seconds, daintily jumping over the spread with ease. There was nothing they loved more than jumping, jumping felt like they were flying.

'Woah, woah.' She laughed as they landed from the last jump, having gone over the course four times already. Warrior slowed down as she leaned over his neck to hug him. 'Well done, good work boy.'

'Nice riding Jessie.'

The voice brought her back to reality and she smiled as she looked up. Lisa was at the fence with Jack and Cindy. When did she turn up? Nudging him into a canter she rode over to them and slid off near the fence. 'How long have you three been watching me?'

'The last fifteen minutes.' Cindy chuckled, spellbound by their performance. 'When are you going to teach me how to do that?'

'Not for a very long time yet.' She replied, turning as she heard a car drive up. Her face clouded as she recognised it to be Clint, a thousand emotions rushing through her that she struggled to control. 'Let's go take Warri to the barn and get his saddle on Cindy, it's time for that ride I promised you.'

'I see that you have both considered this over quite a bit.' Clint replied as he sat at the dining room table discussing the guardianship proposal for Jessie that Jack and Lisa had put forth. 'Looking permanently after a child like Jessica isn't going to be a walk in the park.'

'No, Lisa and I understand that.' Jack agreed, fiddling with his empty coffee mug. 'But we are willing to take Jessica in and give her a proper home and a family regardless of her past and her problems. Jessie has become a part of our lives, she trusts us which is a huge step for her to take, especially with what she's been through.'

'What about you though Lisa? How are you going to make a relationship with her work when you are going to be absent quite often? Jessica needs stability, having you away a lot might not be the best for her.'

'With all due respect, her going to a new home with strangers isn't exactly ideal for her either.' Lisa replied. 'I love Jessie dearly, I will do everything I can to build a relationship with her even if I am away sometimes. Jack and I have already come to an agreement about how we can make it work and I think that even though it's not a hundred percent ideal, in Jessie's case it is a whole lot better than the alternative. Jessie is attached to both of us, wouldn't it be better for her to stay with people she knows and trusts rather than be placed into the overloaded foster care system?'

'You do understand that I am not the one who can give a yes or no answer? The decision of her placement isn't in my hands, it's in the hands of my superiors. I can only give a recommendation and put to them your proposal, other than that it's out of my control.' He looked at both of them before continuing. 'They will decide what is best for the girl given the information they have. If they don't feel that this guardianship will be of benefit to her, she will have to go to foster care.'

'We understand.' Jack nodded. 'How long will it take for them to make a decision?'

'I will put your application and my recommendation in today when I return to the office. It could take anywhere between a week to a couple of months before they decide. In the meantime, Jessie will still be going to the foster home next week as planned, that was already set in motion and even with your application it can't be changed since they legally have her guardianship as her foster parents at the moment.'

'Could they decide before she has to go to the foster home?' Lisa questioned, a sinking feeling rushing over her. There was no way Jessie would stick around in a foster home for long, she'd be out and away from there the first chance she got. 'Is that possible?'

'I can't give a guarantee on when they'll decide unfortunately. It just depends on how many other cases they are going through at the moment and such. Another thing too that will be a deciding factor will be the results of her psychological assessment this week. If they deem her to be at high risk of hurting someone or something like that it will affect if your application is successful or not.' He glanced up at the clock, writing a few more notes down as he started wrapping up their interview. 'I will let you know as soon as they make a decision. Now, if you'll excuse me I need to speak privately with Jessica and Cindy before I leave.'

Jack nodded as Clint put his papers away, closing up his briefcase as he stood up. 'Thank you for meeting with us.'

'No problem. I wish you the best of luck with your application. I'll see myself out.'

Lisa turned to Jack as Clint left, raising her eyebrows. 'I don't think our chances of being accepted as her guardian are very high unfortunately.'

'I guess all we can do now is wait.' He sighed, seeing the look on her face. 'It'll turn out Lisa, you'll see.'

'I hope so.' She looked down at her hands. If they turned their application down for her guardianship she didn't know how she would take it. Jessie meant a lot to her now, she was attached to her and the girl was to her as well. To seperate them was going to be hard on both of them. She loved the girl, she couldn't bear the thought of her getting moved from foster home to foster home. 'She's not going to be happy if she has to go to the foster home.'

'Luckily she doesn't know about us applying for her guardianship, if they turn us down it would be a whole lot worse for her to deal with.'

'Let's just hope they don't turn us down.'