Femelle Guerrier
By: EmpathicReader
To Swan, for being the absent-minded genius of a friend.
A/N: Sorry for the late update… Anyway, Athrun's not going to make an appearance anytime soon. But someone else is. In the next chapter too! Wanna guess who it is? ENJOY!
NOTE The italics after the match make, signifies the god's appearance. Actions, thoughts, remarks etc.
Lord Uzumi felt his smile slide off his face. He was so happy that Matchmaker Sayo managed to find a husband for his Cagalli. So there he was happily asking Sachi to doll his Cagalli up and wearing his best robes to attend the matchmaking session. He was so excited to see his future son-in-law. Alas, it is not as Matchmaker Sayo described. The man was so --
HIDEUOSLY OLD!
The same thought ran through both Cagalli's and Lord Uzumi's mind at the same moment. Cagalli fought back a choke. This old man wanted a bride? How's that even possible? The PIG! He looked old enough to be her father! She pushed her thoughts away and listened to Matchmaker Sayo's speech.
"This is Sir Hong Xie. He was the only one who would graciously take your daughter's hand Lord Attha." Matchmaker Sayo said, clapping her hands together happily. Lord Uzumi only stared at her in mollification. Agitatedly, he stomped his walking stick on the ground to get Matchmaker Sayo's attention. Surely, the woman turned her head and walked to his side, she announced that the couple (Cagalli and Hong Xie) enjoy their time together and get to know each other. Lord Uzumi fumed inwardly. Enjoy their time? He glanced at Cagalli who only shot him a look that cleared said 'HELP!'. He only gave her a sympathetic look which promised he would look into the matter. Once he and Matchmaker Sayo moved into another room, Lord Uzumi immediately burst out.
"Why?" his question made Matchmaker Sayo blink in confusion.
"Why is he asking for Cagalli's hand in marriage. How could he? He is… He is almost my age!" Lord Uzumi continued in outrage.
"That's where you are wrong Lord Attha. Age, is NOT a problem. Just look at him. See how mature he is? He is much better than those young inexperienced adolescents." Matchmaker Sayo exclaimed. Lord Uzumi opened his mouth to retort her explanation when a strangled cry came from the room. Together, they rushed in. A look of horror painted both their faces the minute they saw the situation.
Cagalli with her foot firmly planted on Hong Xie's back. His wrists twisted to his back and his face all bruised and swollen.
"What… What happened?" Matchmaker Sayo screeched the moment she recovered.
"This pervert touched my bottom!" Cagalli grunted indignantly, her aurora eyes shining with fury.
"What… How could you Sir Hong? My daughter is a lady! You cannot touch her like this!" Lord Uzumi said with suppressed fury.
"What are you saying? I was just checking if her bottom is as big as Matchmaker Sayo said so!" Hong Xie said.
"What does my bottom size have to do with you? Huh!" Cagalli shouted angrily.
"Excuse me. But I want to have children! How can a woman be fertile if her bottom is small?" Hong Xie retorted. Cagalli opened her mouth to holler at him to back off when the Matchmaker intervened.
"Please cool down everyone. Now that both the Atthas and the Hongs are going to be in-laws, then let him touch your bottom. There is nothing wrong for a husband to touch his wife. Go on Cagalli." Matchmaker Sayo said.
"Yes. So why pretend to be a lady?" Hon Xie said scathingly. Cagalli felt her angry flare as she heard his little remarks. She was going to aim her fist at him when her father stopped her.
"Cagalli take off your clothes." Lord Uzumi commanded.
"WHAT? But father --" Cagalli stuttered.
"Cagalli. Did you not say that you were hot just now on the streets. Then take off the winter clothes and cool yourself." Lord Uzumi said in calm. Cagalli's face lit up in enlightenment. Then, layers after layers of thick winter clothing fell from her. In just a minute, Cagalli slim form was shown to the shocked groom. She saw the Matchmaker shake her head. From that gesture, Cagalli knew they had won. And secretly, her heart danced with joy.
"Now see for yourself Sir Hong. My daughterdoes not have as much flesh on her body as you thinkand her bottom is not as big as you imagined. You know what they say. If a matchmaker can be trusted, even pigs can fly." Lord Uzumi grunted before leading Cagalli out.
Cagalli wiped the sweat off her brow. After the disastrous matchmaking attempt, her mother seemed to have taken it into her consent that it was Cagalli's fault for ruining the match make. As if! She is only angered that I'm not getting out of this house anytime soon... Cagalli thought as she looked at the list of things her mother had prepared for her to do. Chicken, duck, fish, vegetables. All done. Now to tell mother... Wait... What am I missing? Cagalli thought as an overwhelming urge of hesitancy took over her. It was not pretty when her mother punishes for any mistakes. Cagalli messaged her temples to try and have her mother's command come back to her. OH! Sugar-coated dates! Cagalli remembered. Happily, Cagalli bustled around the kitchen making the dish not forgetting to pinch a bit of the tasty dessert. After licking off the last trace of sugar off her thumb, Cagalli proceeded to help herself to another when a loud voice rang from the corridor.
"ARE YOU DONE YET?" Lara screeched. With her hands full of papers, she proceeded into the kitchen, glare at Cagalli and smiling sweetly at the figure on the paper pasted on the wall. The Kitchen God. Cagalli rolled her eyes and slowly inched her hand towards the delightful dessert.
"Dear Kitchen God, it is time for you to change your clothes." Lara said as she pasted the new papers on the wall.
"Ah! After a year of filthy and stinking robes, I can finally have new clean clothes!" the god remarked happily. He fingered his new robes and smelt deeply, how refreshing compared to the year-old clothes he donned just now.
"What's the use of this Kitchen God? I mean, he just sits here, in the kitchen listening to us gossip. A totally useless god I'd say." Cagalli commented looking one last time over the food to check if she had missed anything out.
His icy silver eyes looked at the girl angrily. He knew of her ways but this is very insulting. Especially to a good god like him? Listen to gossips? What sort of comment is that? Even though there was this very interesting gossip about how the hideous girl managed to find a hus--
"You shut your trap! Don't you go shooting your mouth off and dragging the whole family down!" Lara scolded before turning to the paper and bowed deeply mumbling her apologies.
He glared at Lara and pointed an accusing finger at her.
"It is all because of YOU! Because of your amateur ways in teaching, you have produced such a daughter!" the Kitchen God declared.
"Mother what is the use of having sugar-coated dates offered to him? Does he not have enough food already?" Cagalli asked, puzzled.
He felt his eyes widen and his mouth water. SUGAR-COATED DATES! He rushed over and started to pick at the sweet dessert.
"The sugar-coated dates are to butter up the Kitchen God, so he will definitely speak well of us in front of the supreme god!" Lara said happily.
"Whoa! He GOSSIPS, PIGS OUT on food and he takes BRIBES? What sort of God is he?" Cagalli asked incredulous.
The Kitchen God stopped munching on the dates and thought of her words. He spat out the dates and put them back among the other dates, ashamed.
Lara glared at the girl and shooed her out of the kitchen. Shaking her head in obvious anger, she proceeded to put the dish back into its place. And why is there a half-munched date? Lara pondered to herself.
A/N: R&R!